Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters

The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate

(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)

Just as a reminder-Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

Chapter Fifteen -Crash and Burn

EPOV

My mind was racing faster than my car, which was a pretty fucking impossible feat. I shouldn't have been behind the wheel. I was angry enough to fucking destroy. To demolish and annihilate the same way the events of the past ten minutes of my life had done to me.

Before I could do anything else, I needed to call the one common denominator we all had in this whole clusterfuck. My best friend. Because I swear to God, if he knew about this and never told me, my world really was falling apart.

I dialed his number and turned onto I-95, pushing the gas pedal down as far as it would go. "Come on, Jazz," I growled, impatient and ready to get this conversation over with. He finally answered on the fourth ring, and I couldn't even try to hold back my all-consuming fury.

"Did you fucking know about this, Jasper?" I demanded, punching the gas as I weaved in and out of traffic.

"Did I know about what, Edward? What are you talking about?"

My guts twisted slightly in guilt for unleashing on him. He'd never treat me like this and I knew it, but fuck, I was just so angry…

"Don't play coy with me, Jasper. Did you know that Bella was fucking my dad or what? Don't fuck around!"

He stuttered in what was probably shock and nerves, a long lost speech impediment from his childhood that only resurfaced when shit got tough for him. Guilt continued to pull at me, but anger smacked it all away.

"Bella's doing what? No…I didn't know anything about it. Wait…she's what?"

"Did she know, Jazz?" My anger turned into a strangled whimper as I dropped my head, barely focusing on the road as my hand shook around the steering wheel. "Was she knowingly pursuing a relationship with father and son? She wouldn't do that, would she? Play us like that?" The rage immediately veiled my briefly-exposed emotions, and I quickly put my angry mask back in place. "Jasper, did she fucking know or not?"

He got caught on his stutter again and I was just the scum of the fucking planet, wasn't I? It didn't matter…I was too far gone. "Spit it out, man."

"N-no, of course not! She wouldn't do that. Edward, are you sure?"

I laughed bitterly, shaking my head from side to side. "You have no fucking idea."

I hastily slammed my phone shut and tossed it forcefully behind me. The All That Remains playlist I'd been listening to blared loudly from my speakers as I turned the volume up. I roared in frustration and increased my speed on the interstate, because safety wasn't a factor to me anymore; the only thing that mattered was finding a suitable fucking outlet for all the rage that was brewing inside me. Driving recklessly and screaming angry music was all that I could do, because everything else hurt too fucking much.

And if I thought…if I thought for one fucking second about my father's hands on my girl, touching her, exploring her…I'd lose my goddamn shit. Calling Jasper and demanding answers drained me of my will to feel anything…and I couldn't think anymore, not about this. There were so many questions I needed answers to, but not now…not yet. I just wasn't capable of handling this level of mindfuck. I had never felt more vulnerable and broken in my entire fucking life, and it made me so incredibly angry.

"Stupid fucking idiot…you knew this would happen! You fucking knew if you opened your heart, it would get ripped to motherfucking shreds! You fucking knew it!" I screamed at myself over the blaring music, my hands shaking violently as I rapidly blinked my watering eyes.

I dragged my forearm roughly across my face and punched the steering wheel so viciously I thought it would snap. With a quivering exhale I turned the volume up even louder, until my speakers were rattling excessively. My engine groaned in protest as I pushed it to its limit.

I shut my brain off entirely, taking my aggression out on the car I was driving, and the unforgiving pavement beneath it.

~xxx~

CPOV

I had never been more thankful for my window treatments. I could have gone with the cheaper option but they let too much light in. For a hundred dollars more I could have the light completely blocked out. It could be as black as midnight in the middle of a bright Miami day, because nothing could infiltrate these shades. With my unpredictable work hours, I knew it would come in handy. I wanted the ability to make it night whenever I had to sleep with the sun consistently shining.

Who would have known that ultimately, I needed the darkness for a much different reason.

My head was pounding, so violently that the throb reached my eyes, my neck, my jaw…

The dark helped me keep out the devastation. Or perhaps it helped me seal it in. Perhaps I needed to block out the sun to keep on drowning myself in my own pain. I refused to do anything but hammer every single detail into my mind over and over again, desperate to make sense of such an unlikely and horrifying situation.

"Bella…"

I groaned her name into the darkness, but not from arousal or need…this groan was of pure anguish. The two most important people in my entire life were hurting through no fault of their own. The two most important people in my entire life had been dating each other for months…

I thought of the way her eyes sparkled when we shared a tender moment and suddenly wondered if she looked at my son with such radiating light. Did he see what I saw, did he feel what I felt every time that beautiful creature walked into the room?

It didn't matter.

I would sacrifice her for Edward, because I'd do anything for my son. He had been so reluctant to find love after all these years; decades of deep-seated pain drilled into him from an indifferent childhood. I thought back to the first time Edward had hinted that maybe he'd found someone worth more than just a one night stand. And how right he was. Bella was undoubtedly worth more.

I couldn't deny the changes that the mystery girl had evoked inside my son. He had a more positive outlook, he was less self-deprecating and just…happier. The woman that brought me back to life had also revived my only child in the process.

What a gift she had given us.

And what a cross we must bear in the end.

I shuddered and robotically lifted the glass of aged scotch to my lips, resting my chin against the top of Taylor's head as she hugged me. I blindly set the glass down onto the table beside my chair, resting a hand on Taylor's back as I wearily lifted my phone. The display screen's sharp light broke through the darkness, causing me to squint in pain as I continued my frivolous pattern.

Edward.

Bella.

Edward.

Bella.

Neither one of them would answer.

My first instinct was to get in my car and do anything and everything to make sure that they were all right, but ultimately I knew that they just needed time. We all did. As much as Taylor's presence was a comfort to me, I felt guilty for having my son's best friend at a time like this. He had run out so quickly that he simply left her here, opting to process his anger and pain on his own once more.

God, I was so worried about him.

And of course...my Bella.

Well, she wasn't mine anymore.

There was no doubt that I knew what I would do. I would hold my head high, breathe in and out, be thankful for the things Bella had given me in our short time together, and be happy that my son had finally found a girl as brilliant as he.

I loved them both so incredibly much, so why shouldn't they be together?

Of course, the man inside me felt the undeniable urge to fight for his woman. Despite who it would hurt and how many lives it would destroy, it was there, clawing at the recesses of my mind. A need so deeply threaded into my core, demanding that I take her as my own because I loved her, because we were amazing together, and because nothing could stand in our way.

But this was my son. How could I allow myself to keep Bella as my own when he was so invested in her? Still, my inner voice kept begging the question…

What if she wants to be with you and not him?

Deep down, I became alive and alert with a newfound sense of hope.

But overall, I needed to dismiss that line of thinking. It didn't matter…Edward's happiness was the only thing that did.

So in the end, I would do everything in my power to make this awkward and unlikely situation as pain-free as possible. Once the dust had settled, I would explain to them both that all that truly mattered to me was their happiness. And they deserved to find happiness…especially with each other. I would keep it light, I would eliminate the unease to the best of my ability, and I would make sure that neither Edward nor Bella felt an iota of sorrow for what I had lost in the end.

And the only time I'd let myself grieve would be moments like these, alone in a pitch black room, absorbing the pain so freely that it would threaten to swallow me whole.

It would be worth it. Every single second.

I picked up my phone and tried once more.

Edward.

Bella.

Edward.

Bella.

I quickly gave up, closing my eyes to drown under the frantic thoughts that never seemed to relent.

There was no way Bella had any clue that Edward and I were related. As coincidental as it was, her heart was too pure to commit such a heinous act. I replayed her reaction from earlier today over and over in my mind, the look of horror and shock etched into each one of her features as I unsuspectingly walked into the living room. Of course she recognized Taylor…and when I had confirmed just who Taylor belonged to, she felt as if all she could do was run away.

Frankly, as much as I hated the state in which she had left my home, it was better for all of us that she ran. Having Edward walk in and seeing Bella there…God only knows what kind of chaos would have ensued.

I closed my eyes and replayed the memories that stung the most; the night we spoke to each other in hushed tones over the phone…the night where we hung up and brought ourselves to climax with nothing more than thoughts of one another. I winced as I imagined her soft voice telling me why we couldn't meet in person that night and satisfy the need that was bubbling between us.

"You know I'm not ready to commit so soon after everything that happened with Jacob."

"I know," I whispered.

"I like you so much, Carlisle. But I need you to know that you aren't the only man I'm seeing right now."

"Okay," I murmured, my palm pressing against my suddenly constricted chest.

She chuckled humorlessly. "Look, it's not like I've got a of revolving door in my bedroom, okay? It's just…I don't want to discuss the other party involved; it wouldn't be fair to either one of you. Just like it wouldn't be fair if I were to meet with you tonight."

She was so conflicted that night, needing me but feeling such a loyalty to this other man. Not wanting to hurt him, unable to decide at that point who she belonged with - me or my son. What a burden she had to bear, even if she had no clue as to how we were connected. My poor, sweet girl.

No, I couldn't think like that any longer.

At the time I had discounted this other man, certain that what Bella and I had couldn't be compared to the relationship she had with him. As much as I wanted Bella for myself, the fact that she had just gotten out of a lengthy and unsatisfying relationship made me sympathetic to her situation. Of course she wouldn't be ready to settle down so soon. I had no problems with her taking time to explore her options, to live a little, and when she was through with that, she could officially be with me.

But Edward was special. He was an amazing man, and because of some cruel twist of fate, she had become intricately intertwined with both of us. Who could justify this? Was there a God capable of finding humor in our despair? Was this someone's form of sick amusement, or were my son and I simply that unfortunate to have fallen in love with the same woman?

But that was the thing…we were anything but unfortunate. My life was infinitely better just by merely knowing Bella. The selfish side of me wanted to say that I would have never given up the time I had spent with her, regardless of how things would ultimately play out. But no matter how much it killed me to admit it, I would have sacrificed every moment of bliss I found with Bella…for the sake of Edward's happiness. When you're a father, your needs become petty. If I had it my way, despite the heartache it caused me, I never would have been a factor in this equation. With never having met Bella, my life would have continued to be empty and bland, but at least Edward wouldn't have had any barriers standing in his way.

And even now, he still wouldn't.

I would step aside. I would be happy for them. I would smile broadly at their wedding and cry when their children were born and I would still be a blessed man. Not everyone needs a lover when they have other joys in their life to sustain them. I would give up everything in this world to see Edward live a full and happy life, even the most beautiful woman I had ever known.

Because that's what a father did for his son.

For so long, Edward had been put on the backburner, an afterthought to the parents who were supposed to love him most.

Not anymore.

With me, he would only ever come first.

I lost myself to a time where nothing was forbidden when it came to Bella and me. The storm around us raging away in the hot Miami night…the unbridled heat of our own storm as I watched her skin glow in soft candlelight. I hadn't felt a need like that in so very long, the need to feel her body moving beneath me, small fingers pulling me down, a soft, aching voice begging me for more. I smiled, thinking of how it started…one innocent game of Trivial Pursuit, and my life would never be the same again. My smile turned into a wince as I realized just how true of a statement that was.

"Bella," I gasped her name, pulling up from our heated kiss and resting my lips against her ear. "I want you, I want you so badly right now. Please either tell me to stop or tell me to make love to you, I need you to tell me what you want…"

She turned to stare deeply into my eyes, our noses resting together as our bodies subtly moved against one another in our need for more. In that moment, I was terrified that she didn't want me in return. I would have been gracious about it of course, but I wanted that woman with every fiber of my being. Finally she spoke her perfect words in an angel's tone. "Carlisle…I want you too…please…"

Her confession had made me burn for the beautiful woman in my arms. Something primal set loose inside me and even though I yearned to keep every piece of this intimate moment gentle and real, I couldn't help the way her words raged through my body like a white-hot flame. "Tell me that again," I begged her.

"I want you." She confirmed it once more, her voice hoarse and her body quivering beneath my fingers as they made slow passes along her skin. It was all I needed to know, that she wanted me. In truth, it was all I ever needed to know. It was everything…

Hot tears slipped past the sides of my closed eyelids, my chest silently heaving as I surrendered myself to images of a life I would never have. I replayed my most cherished memories because this was my way of saying goodbye to the magnificent woman who made me realize that there was more to this world than dwelling over ghosts of the past. Every gentle thought I had of Isabella Swan hurt me so viciously that I could have sworn a knife was slicing through my flesh, but it was also granting me a farewell so breathtakingly bittersweet that I could barely wrap my mind around it. I needed more.

"You're cute!"

Bella grinned at me lazily through her fog of Benadryl. She was adorable…she had me from that very first moment. Alice continued to apologize for her friend's behavior, but there was simply no need.

"It's no problem," I assured her, attempting not to laugh at just how endearing it was, and struggling to remain professional. "I'm Dr. Cullen. How are you feeling, Bella?"

She looked me up and down, and then again once more, licking her lips as her eyes met mine. "I'm great now."

"No more problems breathing?" Such an ironic question, because she was definitely making it hard for me to breathe.

"Wellll…I dunno, I think I might need mouth-to-mouth."

I laughed at the memories of our first encounter, tears stinging my eyes as I chuckled in a moment that was painful enough to destroy me. "You were perfect, from the very beginning. I'll never forget the first time I met you."

Perhaps I had reached a breaking point, sitting in my dark living room, speaking to a phantom of the woman that I never really had a right to love. But feeling the pain twist so brutally in my heart made every single moment we had together real. And now, when I was all alone and surrounded by darkness, I was allowed to have that. I closed my eyes and granted myself another vision that was such a blessing to me.

I remembered the pure euphoria she emitted when we were parasailing, flying high over the gorgeous blue waters. "Are you okay?" I had asked her.

"I'm better than okay!" she yelled over the breeze, laughing almost maniacally as her eyes continued to scan the horizon. From the excitement in her eyes to the melody of her laughter. I watched her as my heart beat rapidly, not from the heights we were reaching, but from the pure wonder of being up here with her, experiencing this with her.

My heart nearly stopped when I felt her small fingers intertwine with my own, her eyes fixed on mine as she gazed at me sincerely. "Thank you, Carlisle. This is amazing."

"Goodbye, sweetheart," I choked, holding Taylor tighter against my chest as I let out a silent sob, surrendering myself to the torment of letting Bella go forever.

I couldn't handle showcasing every memory so intricately any longer, because it was interfering with my ability to maintain control. I wanted to let myself lash out. I wanted to destroy my surroundings and scream in agony and physically show the pain that was surging throughout my body.

But I was Carlisle Cullen. Controlled, calm, loving father, enamored man…

I wanted to bid farewell to our brief love affair with gentle words and slow falling tears rather than my outbursts of scorn and desolation.

The way her lips felt against mine as we kissed passionately in the rain, her soft declaration in the midst of a torrential downpour.

"I've never been treated with so much care, so much respect, in literally my entire life, Carlisle. I can't believe this day turned out the way it did and yet, it was completely natural…as if there was never any doubt that we were going to go parasailing and laugh until we cried in the rain."

"I was honored…to make you feel so cherished, love."

The way she looked perched on my desk, legs spread as I stood between them, heat manifesting between our bodies until we were nearly past the point of no return.

She let out a breathy moan as I sucked the skin where her neck and shoulder met. My lips swept along her smooth skin until they were resting against her ear. "Tell me about Wednesday night, Bella."

She whimpered, and it made me yearn.

"Tell me that you did exactly what I imagined you doing," I demanded breathlessly. "Tell me that you made yourself come."

"Yes," she moaned, pulling me tighter against her eager body.

"Just holding you would have been enough," I groaned, tossing back the last of my scotch and scrubbing my palms over my eyes. "Just feeling you in my arms would have satisfied me for the rest of my days."

The lazy afternoon that found us spread out along my couch, both of us exhausted from a long day of work.

"Oh Bella," I murmured, cradling her face gently. "You really don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

"How much I care about you. How much you mean to me. And what you do to me…"

"I know that…I mean, I care about you too."

"Your eyes are so expressive, Bella," I whispered. "I can see you thinking, but I wish I could read your mind. You look very conflicted right now."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because when you look at me sometimes…you look happy, but not sure if you're supposed to be that happy."

"I'm happy when I'm with you," she promised, holding me tightly in her embrace.

"You don't know how much happiness you've brought me, sweetheart." Taylor jumped off my lap and I leaned forward, leaning my elbows against my knees as I held my face in my palms. "You just don't know."

The way her hair twisted artfully in the wind.

Her grin when she was feeling saucy. Her smile when she teased me.

Her hand in mine.

The scent of her skin.

The depth of her eyes.

"Goodbye, Bella," I murmured, staring hard into the darkness until I dropped to the floor, curling in on myself and struggling to accept a new life where Isabella Swan was nothing more to me than the woman my son had chosen to love.

~xxx~

EPOV

I finally went home awhile later, sick of the rage and tired of having to maintain enough concentration to operate heavy machinery.

I stared straight ahead as I tossed my keys, hearing them land on the counter with a clunk. I wanted my dog and she wasn't there. Part of me was happy that she was still with Carlisle, because I was pretty fucking positive he needed just as much comfort as I did. Still, only she would understand…and yes it was fucked up because she was a dog but anyone who knew her realized that she was more than that and…

I just wanted my dog.

With mechanical movements, I reached for the bottle of the good shit on top of my refrigerator and hurled myself onto the sofa, staring blankly into space as I tipped the bottle to my lips.

Suddenly, my sense of responsibility to those I cared for kicked in. For however long I had been driving around like an asshole, my pop had been worried and heartbroken. For every second I was out blowing off steam, Bella was freaking out over the unlikely situation she had found herself in.

I groaned, feeling like a total douche for raging on Jasper and thinking, even for a second, that Bella could have possibly known about Carlisle and me. There was no fucking way that beautiful, kind girl would ever knowingly hurt anybody like that.

So we were three fucking victims, left at a standstill, minds completely and utterly fucking boggled.

And hearts broken.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, thankful that I had enough sense to grab it from my backseat before exiting my car. Anger continued to boil through me, but not the same anger from before. Now I was just pissed at myself for being so fucking selfish. Here I was, ranting and raving about what I was going through, when my girl was going through something infinitely worse.

I did try to call her a few times during my road rage session, whether to scream or beg I had no fucking clue. I wasn't in the right mindset to talk to her then anyway, so it was a good thing she never picked up my calls. After trying her a few times, I quickly came to my senses and threw my phone behind me once more. Now though, I felt a little calmer and a lot more hopeless, so I figured it was okay to try again. Still, it went straight to voicemail.

I made a few more attempts and after the last time I heard Bella's voice asking me to leave her a message, I knew that I needed to try. "Bella." My voice croaked and cut out; I cleared my throat and tried again, not having any fucking clue what to say. "I'm just worried about you. This is all fucked up but…we'll figure it out probably, right? Fuck, I don't know, just let me know you're safe, baby. Call me."

My chest hurt, like I was having a fucking heart attack or something, because who fucking knew if we would be capable of working this shit out or not? And now that I had found a little meaning in my life, could I go back to whoring it up and not giving a shit about anything that truly mattered?

Could I exist now, without her?

I knew the more likely answer. Bella would be in my life all right…as my dad's girl. I couldn't blame her, no matter how badly I wished I could. He was my hero…and after all the bullshit he had been put through over the years, he deserved to find a good woman. Lord knows there was no one better than her.

Whatever, it was fun while it lasted.

A million thoughts were flitting through my mind. Should I go find someone to fuck? Should I scour every surface until I found Bella? Should I call my dad? Should I fucking fight for something for once in my life?

Christ, I was so fucking lost.

I texted Carlisle one simple message: I'm okay, I just need to think. Hang in there, pop.

His reply made my throat constrict so violently, I thought I would choke.

I love you, Edward.

"Yeah, I love you too," I murmured to no one in particular.

So this was what it felt like to have your heart broken. It was a son-of-a-bitch. I remembered back in the day, before Emmett hooked up with Rose, he was dating this girl named Irina. He was head-over-fucking-heels crazy for that chick. Almost as pussy-whipped as Rosalie had him, and that's saying something.

Out of the blue she dumped his ass, and he was convinced that his life was over. Hell, by the looks of him, I was too. Seeing someone as big and burly as Emmett bawling his eyes out was a sight to behold. It was just further proof to me that love was a cruel mistress that just wasn't worth the time and effort.

But Bella was worth this, wasn't she?

Of course the answer was yes, and I knew deep down that she obviously was, but it was so fucking hard to realize it when this pain splintered through me so viciously. How could anything be worth this?

I sent a text to Jasper, typing slowly as I closed my eyes. Sorry I was a dick, guess that's what happens when everything falls apart.

He tried to call me but I wouldn't answer. Jasper was like a brother to me, but as much as he would attempt to help me through this, he wouldn't have the first clue. It wasn't his fault, it's just the way it was.

So who could help me?

Who was someone invested in Bella's well-being…someone who could deal with my newly-emo ass?

I thought back to months ago, huddling in the corner of my couch and rambling on about how I may or may not be falling for Bella, and how much of a mindfuck it was because I didn't fall for women of any kind. I fucked them. I made them cum multiple times. But I never broke down the concrete walls I'd built around my heart. And she didn't stand for my bullshit either, which was exactly what I needed.

Alice.

I still had her number in my phone from the last time. Jasper had refused to give it to me, but he let me talk to her on his phone. It was easy enough to pull her contact info off of the screen when we were through talking. I had a feeling that I might need it at some point in the future, and how right I was.

I felt more defeated than ever as I sagged into the couch, waiting for Alice to pick up her phone…or ignore me like she had every right to.

"Hello?" she answered hesitantly.

"Hey Alice…"

"Edward," she sighed, pausing for a long moment. "I'm kind of mad at you for upsetting Jasper earlier, but I also feel really sad for you…and everyone involved. It's all so screwed up."

I shrugged half-heartedly. "It's cool if you want to be mad. I never should have talked to Jazz like that. I had this whole mess of anger and sadness and shit going on, but it still wasn't right." My speech was slurred, like I had been drinking for hours when in actuality I only had one swift pull from my bottle.

"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly.

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Pretty shitty, doll, I'm not gonna lie. Is she…?"

"She's…okay," Alice whispered sadly. "I can't really speak for her, Edward. It's not my place."

"I know," I conceded, running my fingers roughly through my hair and fighting to keep my emotions at bay. "I'm just…worried about her you know? And I don't fucking understand how the hell this happened."

"I know you were upset when you called Jasper earlier, but please tell me you didn't honestly think Bella would have consciously been with the both of you, knowing you were related to one another?"

I groaned, feeling like an even bigger prick. "I wasn't thinking straight. At that point, I didn't know what to think."

"Yeah, I can imagine," she murmured. "I wish I knew what to do for her, but I feel so helpless."

I chuckled, finally acknowledging the burning tears that were beginning to build in my eyes. "Well if I know Bella, she'll let you know exactly what she needs once she figures it out."

"Oh, Edward…"

Apparently my tears were more obvious to Alice over the phone than they were to me. "She's not there? She doesn't want to talk to me, or let me down gently or anything?" I choked back a sob and shook my head from side to side swiftly, trying to make it stop. I fucking hated crying, I hated feeling so goddamn weak.

"She's not ignoring you, Edward, I promise. She's cut off communication with everyone until she can give herself time to process this whole thing. I can't tell you where she is, I won't betray her trust like that, but don't feel like it's just you she's not contacting. She needs time away from everyone until she can figure things out."

I struggled to catch my breath over the sob that was lodged in my throat, frantically wiping at my eyes to make the evidence of my vulnerability disappear. This type of shit didn't happen to the guys who strictly fucked around and never committed. Goddamnit…

"Yeah, it's funny, you know. I usually want to be left alone when shit blows up, but right now, I've never felt more alone…and that kinda makes everything worse." I chuckled dryly, sniffing once and tossing my forearm over my eyes.

"I know it feels that way right now," Alice soothed, "but I happen to know for a fact that there are so many people that love you. Jasper, Emmett…your dad…any one of them would do anything for you, Edward."

I nodded, giving her no further reply.

"Should I call Jasper and have him come over?" she pressed.

I shook my head. "Nah, for as much as I'm feeling alone, I have a real knack for keeping the ones I love at arm's length. Maybe I wouldn't have to give up Bella if I would've learned how to overcome the need to push people away."

"Edward…"

"I mean, somewhere inside me I'm happy for them. My pop is amazing and Bella is the most breathtaking girl I've ever met. They'll be really happy together, I think. Don't you think they'll be happy together, Alice?"

My shoulders began to shake and I was breaking down, farther than I ever had before. Farther than I had ever wanted to be broken.

"Stop it right now, Edward. Things are too up in the air for you to be talking like that. The cold hard truth is that none of us knows how this will end. For now, all you can do is hold on for dear life, and try your hardest not to let this break you." She paused, sighing forlornly before she continued. "Edward, you're a strong man. Hell, you're the cocky asshole who thought I'd swoon and throw my panties at you with one flash of your crooked smile."

"You swooned a little," I murmured, thinking back to the first night I had encountered Bella and Alice in that overheated club.

"Yeah, whatever, Romeo." I could practically hear her rolling her eyes, but luckily there was amusement in her tone. "Look, all I'm saying is that you need to take a deep breath, give yourself time to process this, and remember what's most important…your well-being, and the well-being of the ones you love. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but I'm positive that somehow this will all work out."

I sighed loudly. "How is it that you always seem to be the one talking me down off the ledge?"

"Just lucky, I suppose."

Silence occupied the line.

"Thanks for listening to me spaz out, little elven princess."

"You aren't allowed to call me that, playboy," she teased.

"My apologies, ma'am." I managed half a smile, which was more than I expected.

"You sure you don't want me to call Jasper?" she asked once more.

"Nah…no one needs to be subjected to this level of depression. Trust me."

I could tell Alice didn't like that response, but there wasn't much she could do about it. "Fine, just…take care of yourself. And rely on your friends, Edward, that's what they're there for."

I got off the phone with her and tried to calm my rampant mind. Bella was dealing, and she was safe. With that knowledge, I allowed myself to drift restlessly to sleep.

I awoke some time later to a cold nose against my cheek. I warily opened my eyes to see the deep brown eyes of my pup, gazing at me in concern. "Hey Tay-Tay," I murmured groggily, throwing an arm around her until she was on the couch, lying next to me. Considering my baby girl was there, I assumed that Carlisle was as well.

"Pop?" I murmured hesitantly.

"No, Edward, it's me."

I had never been more thankful to hear Jasper's voice. It wasn't that I particularly wanted to avoid my dad, it was just that seeing him would make everything that much more real, and I wasn't quite ready for that yet.

"Hey man," I mumbled, wiping the sleep from my eyes and sitting up, hugging my dog to my chest. "Have a seat."

He sat down without a word, looking at me over his glasses with apprehension. "I'm sorry this happened, Edward. The odds of this taking place are just…astronomically slim. I've even calculated it for you, but I'm sure that's not what you want to hear at this juncture."

I chuckled, comforted by Jasper being…Jasper. "It's cool, Jazz. Thanks for bringing Tay back. Did Alice send you?"

He shook his head, pushing his glasses up the brim of his nose. "A-actually, Carlisle called. He said that you needed Taylor, and asked that I get her back to you. He's very worried about you."

"Yeah I'm sure he is," I murmured, scratching Taylor's head absently. "How did he look?"

"Much the same as you do, I'm afraid," Jasper confessed sadly.

"Well that makes sense, I suppose…"

"Do you want to discuss things, Edward?"

I shook my head immediately. "Not at all, Jazz. Not yet, anyway. I just wish that for a little while, it could all go away."

Jasper reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell. "I deduce that it will make you feel infinitely better if we order pizza and watch old episodes of Big Bang Theory for the rest of the evening. What do you think?"

I smiled faintly, nodding my head at my best friend. "Sounds like a plan, Jazz."

After he ordered the pizza and put in the first season of BBT into the DVD player, I hooked my arm around his neck, pulling him in for a noogie. "Y-you're messing up my hair!" he groaned with laughter.

"Dude, it was already messy, and you're starting to sound like a chick."

He smiled widely, adjusting his glasses. "I-I'm no chick, as you so chivalrously put it."

My mouth turned into a frown and I studied my best friend for a long moment. I didn't like the fact that he was still stuttering hours later. He hated it, and I was pissed at myself for being the one to cause it to happen. "Hey, I'm so fucking sorry for freaking out on you today, Jazz. Seriously, you didn't deserve it."

He shook his head, not meeting my eyes. "You were upset, it was a perfectly l-l-logical reaction."

"Yeah, but I've obviously upset you. I know it bugs you when you stutter, man, and I feel like a total shit-heel. I'm really sorry, Jasper."

In an uncharacteristic movement, Jasper threw his arm around my neck and pulled me in for a man-hug. "Instead of feeling guilty for upsetting me, perhaps you should realize that my speech impediment is flaring up because I am incredibly concerned about my best friend. It's not y-your angry words that upset me, Edward, it's the fact that you're stuck in a highly tumultuous situation, and there is nothing I can do to help you through it."

I shook my head, annoyed at the burning in my eyes but unable to tear my steady gaze away from him. "Just you being here, Jazz…you're helping me in more ways than I can ever begin to tell you."

With a few pats on the back, our emo-moment quickly passed, focusing instead on the mind-numbing comedy playing on my flat screen.

I was still broken, lost, confused, and aching for the girl I could never have again.

But for the moment, with Jasper prattling on about his latest dissertation, and Taylor resting soundly on my lap…I was able to just breathe.

And forget about the pain for a little while.

~xxx~

APOV

I really should have seen this coming. Not the father-and-son thing, there was no way anyone could have seen that coming, but I should have known that an inevitable crash-and-burn was on the horizon.

Maybe if I hadn't been so wrapped up and crazy in love with Jasper, I would have been a better best friend. Maybe I could have slapped some sense into Bella, the way we always did for each other when the situation called for it. That's what best friends were for.

Bella wasn't made for dating around. Her loyalty and absolute love for her family and friends were two of her best traits, something that made her such a wonderful person. Even after Jackass screwed her over so badly, she hadn't closed in on herself and refused to let anyone else in. The problem was, she'd let one person too many in. And when it came to that kind of love, Bella gave herself wholly and without reservation.

I'd been so proud of her for picking herself up, driving clear across the country, and starting a whole new life here in Miami. I'd urged her to date around, hell, that one-night-stand with Edward had been exactly what she needed. By the time Carlisle arrived on the scene and Edward came back into the picture, I was too absorbed in Jasper to warn her, to tell her to slow down. I'd been too busy to realize she hadn't been dating the two of them, she'd gotten herself into a relationship with both of them.

I curled up into a tighter ball on the couch, wishing like hell there was something I could do to help fix the whole fucked-up mess. Bella had called me hours earlier, telling me that she was at a hotel in Fort Lauderdale, and that she'd be home tomorrow. I tried to tell her about my conversation with Edward, but she wasn't ready to hear it, and she hung up on me. At least she'd be back tomorrow. She'd promised me that, and never once had my best friend broken a promise to me.

How did all this happen? What were the odds that Carlisle and Edward's relationship could have remained undiscovered for so long, especially since Jasper knew Carlisle? Memories knocked at my mind…Bella asking me not to discuss her and Carlisle's relationship with Jasper, since he was Edward's best friend. And of course Jasper hadn't been there when Bella and I first met him, since he'd stayed out in the waiting room of the hospital.

Jasper. My fingers itched to dial his number, to beg him to come over and let me bawl on his shoulder until I was all cried out. But I wanted to be here by myself, just in case Bella changed her mind and came home early. I owed her that, at least.

The memory of my boyfriend's face when he'd finally put it all together, before Edward hung up on him, the stutter I'd never heard before…it was killing me. In answer to my frantic questions about what the hell Carlisle had to do with Edward, and finally telling him yes she'd been dating more than one guy, his stuttered words: Alice, C-carlisle is Edward's d-dad… I had no words for the horror I felt when their meaning finally came together in my mind.

I was afraid Jasper would assume the worst of Bella, actually believe that she knew about Carlisle and Edward being related, but of course he didn't. He'd been as stunned and disbelieving as me. No one who knew Bella could even for a second think she'd do something like this knowingly. So he'd been the one who found my car keys as I was frantically running around his apartment, desperate to leave and track Bella down. Jasper knew it wasn't Bella's fault.

A quiet knock at the front door snapped me out of my reverie, and in a split second I'd bounded over to the door and yanked it open without even peering through the peephole. A man stood there, leaning against the doorjamb with his face pressed into his forearm. As the light from the front hall illuminated his figure, he slowly turned his eyes to me.

This Carlisle Cullen was a far cry from the confident, handsome doctor I'd met in Mercy's emergency room. He and Bella had created their own little world and so I hadn't seen him again since, but I recognized him instantly, although he looked radically different now.

The blue eyes that met mine were bloodshot and tired, his mouth was turned down, and fatigue was written in every line of his body. He literally looked as though his entire world had just come to an end.

"She's not here," I whispered, and his eyes clenched tightly shut.

"Is she…is…" He took a deep breath and straightened up slowly. "Alice, I'm not here to interrogate you for answers. I'll stop calling her phone, and I won't push to see her. I need...I just need you to tell me that she's okay. Tell me that wherever she is, she's all right...and I'll go. Please just tell me…"

His eyes met mine again and I almost wanted to cry at the heartbreak in them. There was no doubt in my mind that this man had loved…still did love…my best friend. The anguish in his expression told me more than even his words could.

"Yes, she's okay." I licked my lips, wanting to tell him more, but my loyalty was to Bella, and I wasn't going to meddle or try to fix anything…she wanted to do that herself. "She wanted me to tell you that she didn't know. She didn't, Carlisle, she truly had no idea."

"I know," he replied quietly. "I never doubted that, for a second."

"She'll be back tomorrow. She just…needed some space and time."

Carlisle abruptly scrubbed his hand across his eyes and then nodded. "I understand. Thank you, Alice. Thank you for taking care of her."

He turned away then, and the droop in his shoulders as he walked slowly to a black BMW in the driveway told me that he was hurting just as badly as his son, if not more so. Edward had had anger fueling him at some point, Carlisle just looked…devastated. And resigned.

I shut the door and curled back up on the living room sofa. I tried calling Bella's phone one more time before bed, but it went straight to her voicemail, and I gave up. I'd just have to wait until tomorrow…we all would.

~xxx~

A/N:

Kate taps chin thoughtfully Y'know, twin, with all this heartbreak and self-sacrifice and gut-wrenching pain, methinks our boys are forgetting something...

Brits: That they can come to us for love and support and beej's?

Kate: Well, yes, that too. But how about this...although they're both willing to give Bella up, neither of them seem to be considering what SHE wants! Shouldn't SHE have a say in this? And shouldn't we maybe find out what her choice is...and soon?

Brits: Well yeah! Oh boys, you are so silly. Bella is a big girl and makes her own decisions. Gosh, I sure do wish I knew what exactly that decision was whistles innocently

Kate: I know! Well, since we can't divulge that in this chapter, let's talk about something else. Okay, so some of you may have noticed (or you probably haven't, since that's the point) that mah twin and I really don't do the whole self-pimp thing (outside of our outrageously obnoxious A/N's). We figure that if you, the readers, enjoy our work, you'll rec it to others, and that's the greatest compliment/pimpage we can ask for!

Brits: Exactly! And we appreciate everything you've done to make our story more well-known throughout the fandom! But if you're interesting in showing us your support even further, there's one other simple thing you can do…

Kate: We recently found out that HOLY SHIZBALLS, Dirty Little Secrets was nominated for a Golden Lemon Award, in the "Lemon with the Pairing That Made Your Jaw Drop" category! To say it made us SQUEE with joy is an understatement...through this whole story/journey/epic quest, one of the things that has made us the happiest is when people say "I never liked BxC but..." or "Holy crap, you've converted me to Team Carlisle!" or "I'm still Team Edward all the way, but your Carlisle is HAWT!" Thinking outside the whole CANON-PAIRINGS-OR-ELSE mindset has been a big part of DLS, and we're unbelievably honored that enough people evidently nominated us to show up in the final round of voting for this category! Even if you're still hardcore-rooting for the ExB HEA, please consider skipping over to the GLAs and perusing ALL the awesome nominations, k? www(DOT)goldenlemonawards(DOT)com

Brits: Please and thank you! Our Carlisle rubber duckies promise to join each one of you for lengthy bubble baths if you do...just sayin...

Kate: Awww damn, now I have to sew them Speedos too?

DuckyFach: SQUEAK-YEAH!

Brits: So send us a review, give us a vote in the Golden Lemons! We love you all! Follow us on Twitter if you want to bond! (lazykatevamp and brits23)

Kate: And for those of you who ran through a box of tissues during this chap and are cursing our names now...have faith. That's all I'm sayin'.

Brits: We're eager to hear your thoughts! Until next time!