Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters

The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate

(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)

Just as a reminder—Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

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~Epilogue~

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CPOV

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed loudly, adjusting my sunglasses as I observed the long line of traffic that stretched out ahead of and behind me. Typically I wasn't one to become impatient during traffic jams, but today, I didn't have a moment to waste.

Not when I had the woman of my dreams waiting for me at home.

I was unsure whether or not Bella would be at my house when I got there, but it was rather likely that she would be. In fact, there wasn't a day that had gone by this week where I wasn't greeted with her glorious smile and sweet, perfect kisses.

I glanced at my watch, realizing that leaving work early today was all for nothing. By the time I finagled my way through the backed-up traffic, I would more than likely be pulling into the driveway at my regularly scheduled time. As much as I wanted to feel upset or disappointed about my delay in reaching her, the truth was that I had been immersed in pure and utter joy ever since Bella confessed her love for me.

Being with her, losing myself in her, focusing on nothing but her also made me more capable of dealing with the pain that accompanied our happiness. The pain of an unbelievable coincidence that victimized the ones I loved most, and the aftermath that left my son romantically heartbroken for the first time in his life.

The last two months had been an unpredictable variety of ups and downs. I never knew it was possible to be so incredibly mesmerized by a woman while feeling such sorrow for my son. His anguish was unrelenting...and I was a significant part of it.

Bella had been so convinced that Edward was going to react in anger and lash out over her feelings for me, and once upon a time, I would have agreed with her. But the transformation my son had gone through in the last few months had changed him in the best way. Regardless of the complications of our situation, I was convinced things had happened the way they were meant to. Bella played a major role in molding Edward into the man he was now. And that man had the nobility and courage to step aside and find the understanding in his heart to accept Bella and I.

It wasn't easy for him. It still wasn't. But one thing was for certain, no matter how much devastation we were subjected to, it would never affect our father-son relationship. It just wasn't an option; we had gone far too long without having one another in our lives, there was literally nothing that would interfere with our bond.

Not even falling in love with the same woman.

Truthfully, the distance Edward had decided to put between himself and Miami undoubtedly played a role in his acceptance of what Bella and I felt for one another.

I checked the time on my Blackberry, hoping that he would call soon. Phone calls from my son had been few and far between ever since he left the country, given his remote locations and shoddy mobile service. It went without saying that I was devastated to have missed his call earlier in the day while I was with a patient. He left me a crackling voicemail, telling me that he had a spare minute so he thought he'd give me a call, and that he'd try to reach me again in a few hours.

The key to Edward's healing, in his opinion, was time and space, so when he had informed me seven weeks ago that he was joining the International Animal Rescue, I couldn't say I was surprised. I tried to convince him to take a week or two to think about it before jetting to the other side of the world, but as always, my son had been steadfast in his decision.

"Pop…I'm at this pivotal point in my life right now. I opened up and made myself vulnerable to another person, and it turned to shit. I need to make sense of that. And I'm pretty damn positive that I'm going to make a real douchebag of a boyfriend to anyone unless I figure out who I really am. I've always meant to do a stint with the IAR one of these days. There's no time like the present."

I sighed, gripping the phone tighter. "Edward, are you sure it's wise to make this big of a decision when your emotions are running on high? This week has been life-altering, painful, confusing…I don't want you to make this choice and end up regretting it in the long run. I don't want you to evade our situation rather than face it head on."

"Jesus, Carlisle, you think I'm running away from my problems? Well of course I fucking am…and I can't find a single thing wrong with that fact. I'll deal with the rejection, I'll deal with you and her together, but I'm gonna do it while I'm completely removed from the equation. Can you blame me?"

"I can't," I admitted quietly. "I'm just worried about you, Edward."

"Hey…at least I'm going to go make a difference in the world rather than turning into a recluse or becoming a raging alcoholic or some shit like that."

"I'm extremely proud of you, son. I just don't like the idea of putting thousands of miles between you and everyone you love at a time like this," I whispered, ignoring the burning in my eyes. My voice wavered in strength and emotion as I continued. "You've been through hell, Edward. The last thing I want to happen is for you to get there and feel like you're alone in this-because I promise you, you're not. I'm always here, no matter what."

There was a long stretch of silence before Edward spoke in a soft, strained voice. "I'm pretty sure I loved her, Dad, but I'm absolutely positive that, had we pursued something real, it would have self-destructed. The feelings I have for her…there's no way in hell I'm ready to feel anything like that at this point in my life. Bella…she made me realize that there was more to me than the superficial shit. I feel like…maybe if I go off on my own for awhile and discover a thing or two, maybe I'll be ready to catch the monogomies with someone when the timing is right. Maybe instead of struggling with it, I'll embrace it, ya know?"

That was the moment I knew he was joining the IAR for the right reasons, and despite how much I would miss him, I knew I would have to let him go in order for him to find his peace.

I was pulled away from my thoughts once the traffic began a slow yet steady pace, and quickly picked up the phone from my dash to call Bella. Perhaps I'd be home a little earlier than normal after all, and I didn't want to take any chances. I needed my love there to greet me when I arrived. It seemed as if it didn't matter how much time we spent together…it was never enough.

Just as I went to dial her number, my cell began vibrating in my hand, Edward's face lighting up the screen. I smiled widely and tried to ignore the nervousness I immediately felt. It was true when I said that nothing would come between us, but it didn't mean that everything was perfect. We managed to maintain a playful banter during our conversations, but my guilt and his somber undertones tended to make both of us tread lightly.

"Hey kid!" I beamed, hitting the gas a little harder as the traffic began to flow, keeping a careful eye on the brake lights of the car in front of me. I typically tried to avoid driving and talking on the phone, but this was a call I wouldn't have missed for the world.

"What's up, old man?" Edward's voice was warm, and I could hear the smile in his tone immediately.

"I'm on my way home. Your connection is amazing, are you still in Indonesia?"

"Nope, I've been in Japan since Tuesday. The connection isn't always this clear, but I'm in a pretty decent spot. They've got this sanctuary here for dancing bears…it's pretty cool, actually."

"Dancing bears?" I chuckled.

"I wouldn't lie to you, pop," he laughed. "They've got mad skill."

"It sounds like you're having a good time."

"Yeah, I really am," he replied slowly. "The group I'm with has sort of become my own little family. We've grown pretty close, being isolated from everyone we know…"

"I'll bet. This experience must be amazing for you, son."

Edward chuckled heartily. "I'd say it's been slowly rejuvenating my zest for life. I may even do another tour, after I spend a month or two with my baby girl, of course. How is she? I'm having serious withdrawals over here."

I smiled, shaking my head. Taylor was staying with me while Edward was away, and even though she carried on with her everyday routine, you could tell a big part of her was missing. She didn't know what to do without her Edward. "She's living the good life, kid. A walk each morning, every day spent lounging on my leather couch in the comfort of central air conditioning, and all the belly rubs she could ever desire. Don't worry about her, she's having a ball."

"Oh whatever, she misses me."

"Will that make you feel better?" I laughed.

"Yup."

"She definitely does. Whenever I walk through the door she comes bounding toward it, only to stop in her tracks and frown when she sees it's not you."

"Five weeks," he drifted off. "I'll definitely be ready to come home for awhile."

"Do you think you'll find some time for your old man?" I asked hesitantly.

"Hmm…I guess I'll see if I can pencil you in."

"Gee thanks, kid, don't do me any favors or anything," I grumbled playfully.

"Quit going all emo, Carlisle," he laughed, changing the subject. "So after our stint at this sanctuary, it looks like we're headed to the northeastern coast. There are so many animals that need help down here, Dad. With the tsunami and then the earthquake…damn, just yesterday they rescued a porpoise from some rice paddy. It fucking managed to survive this whole time, and the volunteers didn't have any way to transport it. They just waded out, carried it in their arms, wrapped it in a wet towel and drove it back to the ocean. This place…all of these places…I don't know. It puts everything into perspective for me. You think we have problems? We don't have shit. These people, the animals…I mean, so we ended up with the same girl, that's nothing compared to this. Absolutely nothing."

I was silent for several moments before I spoke. "I have no idea what to say, Edward. I couldn't imagine being in such a difficult and humbling situation. I apologize if I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but I'm so incredibly proud of you."

"Don't worry about it, pop. It's nice to hear," he smiled. "So I talked to Jazzabel today."

"Yeah? I bet he was happy to hear from you."

"You bet your ass he was! He sounded like a brainiac Chihuahua on crack, he was so excited. You gotta love him, though."

I chuckled. "So I hear. Isn't he on vacation with Alice? I thought B…uh, I thought…Bella…mentioned something about it."

"Come on, pop, you can say her name, you won't send me spiraling into an emotional breakdown or anything. How's she doing, anyway?"

I concentrated on keeping my voice as even as possible as I responded. "She's doing well. Working a lot."

"Ha, that sounds about right," he murmured. "But yeah, so Alice and Jazz are on some romantic getaway…and he popped the question. Alice actually said yes, so after they kissed for like five seconds, Jazz threw her off of him and picked up the phone to tell me the news. I think that's where the romance officially ended," he chuckled.

"What did Alice think about that?"

"Eh, I'm not sure. I heard her giving him some good-hearted grief in the background, but she's crazy about him. She's got to be used to his over-jealousness by now."

"Well, that's great news," I smiled.

"It definitely is. I still can't believe it though. This is my bumbling, nervous, awkward best friend. And now he's getting married. What the fuck?"

"It just goes to show how quickly things can change," I sighed.

Edward scoffed. "Yeah, no shit. I'm really happy for him though. He's pretty much the best guy I've ever known besides you, but no one really got the chance to see all that because he was such a damn introvert. Alice has really brought him out of his shell."

"Alice is very sweet. They seem like an unlikely couple, but somehow they're a perfect match."

"Yep. This world works in mysterious, fucked up ways. Hang on a sec, pop."

I heard his voice become muffled, assuming that he covered the phone with his hand while he talked to someone on the other end of the line. About a minute later, he came back on. "All right, looks like we're about to bounce up outta here, Carlisle. My fellow-volunteers keep trying to get me to learn Japanese, but I told them 'Konichiwa' and 'Godzilla' were good enough for me."

I laughed, feeling a sharp ache in my chest. I missed him every single day, but it was nearly unbearable when he called. "I'll let you get to it, son. Be careful, okay?"

"It's all good in the hood, pop. I learned that from Mister Rogers…or is that gangsta lingo? Whatever…either way, I'll be all right."

More silence. I never knew when I'd talk to him next, which made it hard to disconnect each call.

"I love you, Edward. See you soon."

He sighed, clearing his throat. "It won't be long, Dad. Take it easy, talk to you later, love ya."

I discarded my phone onto the passenger seat, lost in my own thoughts. Edward left the country in order to gain some perspective, but I found mine in the wisdom of my only child. He always went on about how great I was, but in truth, he was my inspiration.

I increased my speed as I drove through the streets of my neighborhood, beyond anxious to feel my Bella, safe in my arms.

And thanks to Edward, I would never take a single moment of it for granted.

BPOV

Putting my key in the door of Carlisle's house still, even after two months, gave me a thrill. We hadn't officially moved in together, although I was fairly sure he'd be agreeable if I suggested it. Keeping separate spaces over the past two months had been necessary, though: I still needed my own place to concentrate on work, and after the rollercoaster of emotions we'd been through, we didn't want to move too fast. Having a key to his home had seemed like a natural next step, though, and I found myself getting up earlier to knock out my work for the day so I could be there when he got home.

Everything wasn't sunshine and roses, though…we'd both been shocked over Edward's decision to take a three-month volunteer position with an international animal rescue organization. He'd signed up a week after the fallout and was sent overseas almost immediately. We both knew he needed some separation from the entire situation and so we couldn't begrudge him that…although the tugs of guilt in my chest would never completely go away either.

I tried to tell myself that it wasn't selfish to follow my heart, to give myself wholeheartedly to the man I'd finally let myself admit I loved with every part of me. And I logically knew it wasn't selfish, that I was allowed to love whoever I wanted to love, even if it was at the cost of a friendship I'd foolishly hoped to keep.

Maybe someday Edward and I would be friends, but right now it was too much to ask of him, and so neither Carlisle or I pushed him. We'd agreed that we would refrain from any too-obvious affection in his presence, and Carlisle was careful not to talk about our relationship unless Edward asked in his e-mails or more sporadic phone calls. I hadn't had a real conversation with Edward since our last painful talk two months ago, and I did truly cringe from the thought of hurting him all over again.

Thoughts of Edward stung me at unexpected moments: when I heard an awful 90s song he'd sung to me, or whenever Taylor ran yapping to the sound of the doorbell. Of course Carlisle was taking care of Taylor while his son was out of the country, but every joyful greeting was an insistent pinprick of guilt. Every good day, though, reminded me that I had to let go of the past.

I shut the front door behind me and went into the living room to drop my messenger bag. Taylor appeared to rub her sleepy face against my leg; she'd obviously slept the day away on the couch despite Carlisle's futile attempts to keep her off it. I stooped to scratch her behind the ears and she yawned, her big brown eyes blinking slowly.

Her soft footfalls followed me as I went down the hall into the kitchen. I'd already made a mental list of things I'd need to do for dinner, something I genuinely enjoyed doing whenever I could. Carlisle was usually home by six at the latest.

I assembled lasagna from a recipe I'd memorized years ago, glad that I'd come over early enough to have it ready to eat at a decent hour. Taylor lay down patiently on the cool tile, waiting for me to drop a blob of the filling on the floor. I hummed along to a classic rock song on the radio, and as the meat simmered, I booted up my laptop on the kitchen island and replied to a few more e-mails.

By the time I was carefully layering cheese and meat over the lasagna noodles, I heard Carlisle's key turn in the front door. Taylor scrambled to her feet and ran yapping down the hall; she always showed more excitement when she knew it was him at the door. Part of me wondered if she constantly expected Edward to be with him.

I leaned up against the island as Carlisle came into the room, simultaneously loosening his tie and running the other hand through his tousled hair. It was a move I'd seen him make so many times before, but I never got tired of it. Especially since he always headed directly to me during the process…although Taylor's leaping and winding around his ankles provided something of an obstacle course.

"Tay…down!" he commanded, though the laughter in his voice belied any authority he was hoping to convey. "Good God, this savage beast…"

Taylor's tangling between his legs resulted in him stumbling into me, and we were both laughing when my arms went around his waist and his lips descended to mine. "Hi," he murmured in between kisses. They always started off as sweet smooches before slowing down and becoming deeper. Every time we greeted each other, it was always this way, and I hoped it was something we never got over. It wasn't until we both felt Taylor's claws digging into our thighs that we broke apart, and sensing that she finally had our attention, she started barking loudly.

"Why should you get a treat? Why?" I demanded down into her eager brown eyes. Another series of sharp yaps was my answer, and Carlisle chuckled.

"Welcoming committee?"

I rolled my eyes and disentangled myself from him, crossing the kitchen to retrieve some overpriced gourmet dog treat from the glass jar Taylor already considered her own. She sat when I told her to, but my subsequent commands were met with a pricked ear and cocked brow. Edward was the only one who could really get her to behave.

In the end I caved and handed over the treat, which she took daintily off my palm before running off with it into the living room. I dusted off my hands before returning to Carlisle's welcoming arms, this time attacking his jaw with a series of little kisses and burying my face in his neck, inhaling the scent that was so uniquely him. His hands raked through my hair just before sharp teeth nibbled along my earlobe, and I moaned a little.

"I like this welcoming committee much better, just so you know."

"I would hope so," I whispered back, before pushing against him. He settled with his back against the island, letting my weight pin him there, and I smiled before pecking him on the lips one last time. "How was your day?"

"It had its moments." His fingers ran slowly up and down my side. "Yours?"

I laughed a little and forced myself to pull away. "Work-wise, nothing remarkable. I got some interesting news, though."

He tilted his head. "Oh?"

"Let me put dinner in the oven, okay? Go get changed and I'll tell you."

Carlisle brushed one hand affectionately over my cheek before moving away toward the bedroom. I'd already shoved the covered lasagna into the oven when I heard the faint sound of the shower starting, and Taylor reappeared in the kitchen, eyeing me hopefully.

"Dream on, Tay-Tay," I informed her. She gave me her best approximation of a doggie-bitchface before stalking off to the living room, and I heard the faint jingle of her tags as she jumped back onto the couch again.

By the time Carlisle came back to the kitchen clad in jeans and a faded Marlins t-shirt, I'd already set up place settings on the island. We rarely used the dining room unless we had guests over, or if one of us had put more effort than normal into dinner. There was a sweet intimacy to just the two of us in the kitchen anyway. Carlisle uncorked a bottle of wine and insisted on pulling the hot pan of lasagna out of the oven for me before setting it to rest on the stovetop. That done, he tugged me over to a chair and handed me my glass of wine. "So what's your news?"

I licked my lips, not quite sure if he'd immediately understand the myriad of implications my news had. "So Alice came home today…she and Jasper have been on vacation for the past week down in the Keys."

He nodded patiently. "I remember you mentioning that."

"She, um…well, I guess Jasper proposed. They're going to get married."

A wry smile twisted his lips. "I figured that's what it was…Edward called me today with the same news."

I blinked. "Oh?"

"Edward was the first one Jasper called when Alice said yes, of course. And Edward called me."

I exhaled slowly. The rebuilding of Edward and Carlisle's relationship had been a fragile thing; I should be grateful to hear that Edward's first reaction had been to call his father, but I wondered if the further implications of the news had sunk in for either of them yet. "That's good…how's he doing?"

"He's doing okay…he said there's a lot of help needed, but he had a few good stories to share too. And he sounded pretty happy about Jasper and Alice."

"I am too," I murmured, but the lack of true enthusiasm in my voice didn't escape Carlisle's notice. I couldn't really hide anything from him.

"Hey…what's wrong?"

There was a brief silence between us before I looked up and met his concerned gaze. "Alice told me…I mean, I doubt Edward even knows since I don't think she's necessarily told Jasper…but…" I twisted my fingers together. "She's pretty much planning on them hopping a plane to Vegas for the ceremony, just the two of them."

I could tell he didn't understand where I was going with this information, but he reached out to capture one of my anxious hands, securing it firmly in his own. "Is that a bad thing?"

Guilt pierced my heart, and I squeezed his fingers. "She said something about not wanting to put Edward and me through the whole traditional wedding thing…me as the maid of honor, and him as the best man."

Understanding dawned over his face immediately. "Ah, I see."

"And I just…" I was stumbling over my words now, not realizing how heavily they'd weighed on me until that moment. "You have to understand, Alice lives for that kind of thing. Planning birthday parties, graduation parties, anniversaries…she could have been a party planner if she wanted to. Her wedding would have been the ultimate party, but she's scaling it down because she thinks it'll be awkward for me. And that is just fucked up."

His expression was thoughtful. "Did you point that out to her?"

"No, I didn't want to rain on her parade, she was pretty giddy."

Carlisle began rubbing my hand gently with his thumb, and I concentrated on the calm of his touch. "Did she sound unhappy about going to Vegas?"

"She didn't sound unhappy at all."

"Well…I think you should definitely talk to her about it…but if she doesn't sound unhappy, then don't assume she is."

I pursed my lips at his logic. "But if she's doing it for me…"

"Would you be uncomfortable standing up at their wedding, with Edward?"

"No!" It was an automatic response, but I truly meant it. I'd kept my distance from Edward solely because I didn't want to hurt him, to rub my happiness in his face. He'd been surprisingly civil about the entire situation, but I knew he was hurting. Or at least had been hurting…I couldn't presume to know his thoughts or emotional state now, a couple of months after the fact, and half a world away.

Were it solely up to me, I'd have no problem standing up with my best friend, watching her face glow as she married the man whom she'd crossed a continent to find. My own feelings and situation were so secondary to that, it was petty. But I couldn't assume Edward felt the same way…I'd been the one to make the decisions, to inflict the wounds. I'd fallen headlong into bliss while he sought distance in another country. I couldn't selfishly make all the decisions about this.

The oven timer beeped, reminding us about dinner, and we quietly ate. Taylor stealthily reappeared and settled at my feet, rightly assuming that I'd be the most likely to accidentally drop something for her to wolf down. It wasn't until Carlisle and I had finished dinner and relocated to the living room that he brought up Edward again.

"He asked about you." His lips moved against my temple even as he spoke, and the familiar old guilt ground against my heart.

"What did he say?"

"He just wanted to know how you were."

I squeezed the wine glass almost too tightly between my fingers. "And?"

"I told him you were doing well. He didn't ask for any more details."

I didn't respond, and after a moment Carlisle continued on. "He said he'll be back in five weeks. I…it might be a good idea for the two of you to get together and talk. Just the two of you."

Hearing the man I loved echoing my thoughts so neatly almost broke me. "I guess so."

He peered closely at my face. "I'm not saying you have to, just that…"

"You know I love you, right?" I choked out.

Carlisle's jaw clenched and then relaxed in the brief silence that followed. "Sweetheart, I know it every day, with every breath I take. And you know I love you, and trust you. I just think it might help the two of you, and God knows that's all I want for you both. If you don't want to talk to him, that's fine too. I'm there for you no matter what."

He's there for us both, a tiny voice in my mind corrected, but I couldn't fault Carlisle for it. His patience and understanding with the entire situation was almost beyond my comprehension. "I don't know, Alice and I are supposed to go out tomorrow, I'll talk to her about the whole thing then. And I'll talk to Edward when he gets back to town, I guess."

We fell into an easy silence as the tv muttered in the background; Taylor curled up grudgingly in the middle of the carpet and I snuggled into Carlisle's body, his arm tight around me. When I'd finished my glass of wine, he plucked it neatly from my hand and set it on the coffee table. "So did Alice mention when they're planning to get married?"

"Soon," I mumbled into the warmth of his throat. "Like, a couple of months soon."

"And what are their plans after that?"

As always, he seemed to have a sixth sense for figuring out what I'd left unspoken. "She didn't really say, but I'd guess he'd probably move into the house…his apartment isn't that big."

He kissed my temple. "And that would be pretty awkward for you, to say the least."

"They wouldn't throw me out," I said quickly. "Although I'm not sure I want to accidentally run into Jasper getting out of the shower or anything."

A soft chuckle shook him. "No, I don't think I'd like that either. Sweetheart…I'm just going to cut through all this awkward crap. Why don't you move in here?"

I bit my lip. "I didn't want you to think I was assuming…"

"Stop," he interrupted, putting a finger over my mouth. "You're here almost more than you are there anyway. We can fix up one of the guest rooms as your office, so you have a dedicated work space. I own the house outright so you can save your money for something else. And I personally would love to have you living with me, you know that. But it's up to you…if you'd prefer to get an apartment of your own, then I…"

"No!" I said quickly. "That would be silly…and I'd love to actually…call this home."

A smile blossomed immediately across his beautiful face. "I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear you say that. It's settled, then?"

"Yeah, but not for a month or so…Alice is probably going to need me to help plan even if they're just going to Vegas."

He was still smiling. "It's worth waiting for, Bella. I've been wanting to ask you for a while, but I didn't want to pressure you."

I laughed and pushed against his chest until he lay down on the couch, with me straddling him. "Where else would I go, you silly man? There's nowhere else I want to be than with you."

He pulled me down against him, his lips hungrily seeking mine, and I felt a sense of relief. Here, in Carlisle's arms, this was where I wanted to be, forever.

This was home.

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A/N:

We interrupt your (somewhat) regularly-scheduled orgy for this important authors' note. Even if you are not a fan of our long-ass A/Ns, you may want to read, as important information is contained within.

Kate and Brits snot sob into their "I love McYummy and Playboyward" baby tees OMG, you guise...it's finally over!

Kate: YES, it's over! We only do one epilogue per story around these parts! So we have good news and bad news! GOOD NEWS: Holy shitballs are we excited to churn out some outtakes for Dirty Little Secrets! They'll be tacked onto the end of this story, so as long as you have it on alert, it's all good!

Brits: BAD NEWS: We will not be doing a sequel. sadface But realistically, who needs a sequel when tons of outtakes are coming your way? We're talking smuttakes, futuretakes, smuttakes, dream-sex where ExBxC is not creepy cuz it was a dream she had BEFORE she knew...and did I mention smuttakes? That's right, my twin and I are nowhere near done with these three!

Kate: Got a specific outtake you'd LOVE to see? We have a few in mind, but if you've got an idea, hit us up in the reviews! DuckyFach is screening all the requests, but he's solemnly sworn to be impartial!

Brits: DuckyFach is gonna get a squeak right up the ducky ass if he doesn't keep it fair between our two hot docs! side eyes DuckyFach

DuckyFach: grumpysqueak

Kate: So anyway, BRACE YOURSELVES for our co-Sally-Field moment! Because apparently YOU LIKE US, YOU REALLY LIKE US! First off we'd like to thank all of YOU for reading, for hanging in there, for keeping the OMG WTF EWW EWW EWW to a minimum, for trusting us, for not boiling us in oil with the Choose Your Own Adventure endings (which yes, we PLANNED over a year and a half ago)…

Brits: ...For pimping us on Twitter, for putting aside your mad Edward love and accepting Carlisle into your hearts, for supporting us, and most of all...for being the most fuckawesome readers anyone could ever ask for, EVER!

Kate: Yeah, bottom-line, you guys ROCK! And now, just as a gentle reminder…if you're reading this A/N and are completely confused, please don't forget that the last chapter and epilogue were different depending on whose profile you're currently chilling at. Even if you're a hardcore E/B or C/B lovah, consider checking out the alternative. We won't rat you out to the canon-police, but we love and worked our asses off on BOTH endings equally, swear to God!

Brits: Allow me to take a brief second to fangirl over my amazing beta, who constantly fixes my shit and makes me look a lot better than I am. I haven't been giving her the props she deserves in our DLS A/N's cuz, let's face it, Kate and I are wordy bitches, but that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve it! Isabel, thanks a million, sweets! Love ya!

Kate: Ummm, anything else we need to say, or are we just padding our wordcount at this point? Cuz I'd really love to go hump a hot doc right about now…we can flip a coin to see who ends up with who!

Brits: I call heads! heh heh. Our readers clearly don't know about the THIRD alternate ending, where Brits and Kate ride Playboyward and Doctor McYummy off into the sunset. But...we better just keep that one between the two of us!

Kate: Yeah, good call! All right everyone, love and smooches from your Perv-Twins, Dr. McYummy, Playboyward, and DuckyFach! See you in the outtakes...until then...PARTY ON BRITS!

Brits: PARTY ON GARTH! I mean KATE! Send us some farewell reviews! We love you all!

*THE END*