Chapter 14

This Changes Everything

They had nothing left to say to each other. As they stood there in complete silence, thoughts of a past life were filling her head. She didn't like the feeling. Things had been repressed for so long that everything felt like it was about to come flooding out. But it didn't. She wouldn't let it. So she decided that she should be brave, confident and speak like she regretted nothing.

"So, how have you been?" Rachel asked and tried to force a small smile. He looked the same as he always had. Just as handsome, just as intimidating, yet somehow he was different. His stony expression never changed and he looked like he wasn't about to answer her question, "I saw you on television the other day." Nothing. Rachel was starting to get extremely uncomfortable. She didn't want to be here anymore. A lot of things had changed and she felt like she was being sucked back into her old life. She sighed deeply and lowered her eyes, "Don't do this Erik okay? Just say something and then we can both walk away and you'll never have to see me again."

"Cassidy invited you." He stated coldly.

"Yes, it's kind of an important day for her and she wanted me here."

"You've been in contact with her all this time." Erik said, his eyes narrowing slightly. She didn't like where this conversation was going but she nodded anyways, "Godric?" She nodded again, "Jason Stackhouse?" She continued to nod and looked around the room awkwardly, searching for some kind of escape mechanism.

"Is that all you want to know?" She asked and arched an eyebrow at him.

"Married?"

"No."

"Boyfriend?"

"No one will ever come close to you Erik, if that's what you're worried about." She thought about her short and failed relationships from the past few years and decided that none of them were even worth mentioning, "How about you? Did you settle down with the girl of your dreams yet?"

"You know me." He shrugged the question off.

"No, I don't think I do."

There was another silence as the two looked at each other silently. There was so much to say and yet nothing even came close to exiting her lips.

"So about this wedding…" She started to say but Erik cut her off with a laugh.

"I know. It's ridiculous isn't it?" He seemed more at ease now and Rachel couldn't help but smile.

"Completely."

1 Year Earlier

Cassidy and Jason

"I can't believe you just left." Cassidy was shocked as she spoke on the phone with her sister. Jason was looking at her with a confused expression but didn't say anything. They has been invited to Steve and Sarah's house for dinner and were about to leave when Cassidy got a call from Rachel, who sobbing uncontrollably, "No, I'm not saying that I think you made the wrong decision at all, it just doesn't seem like you to just disappear without a word like that. Just tell me what happened." Cassidy listened carefully to Rachel tell the story of why she left Erik and why she didn't see herself coming back any time soon. She had to admit, she was rather impressed. She thought that maybe it was okay to run away from all your problems sometimes. It somewhat justified how cowardly she had been when she had left California, "So where are you going to go? Do you have any sort of plan at all?" She asked. Jason was still waiting patiently for her to finish the phone conversation, "Well it's just that I think he'll probably come after you and he'll be able to find you much faster than a human would have been able to. Okay, okay, well let me know when you finished packing and have figured it all out. Good luck, bye." She hung up and sighed deeply. Collapsing on the couch behind her. Jason and her exchanged a look.

"That was Rachel?" He asked, seemingly confused.

"Yeah, she just left Erik." Cassidy stated. Though Rachel had explained the general idea of what had happened she still couldn't grasp what had made her act so rashly like she did, "She just left, flew back to Shreveport, is collecting her stuff and then she'll be gone. Out of his life. Out of our lives. She says she doesn't know where she's going but there's no way she going back to live in Bon Temps." Jason was just staring at her with his mouth wide open. He suddenly leaped into action.

"Do you think I should call her?" He looked hopeful. A new light was restored in his eyes and Cassidy knew exactly where it came from.

"No, Jason that would be the worst thing you could do right now."

"Why?" Jason demanded, "Maybe she realized that she made a big mistake when she left me for Erik. Maybe after all this time she's finally come to her senses. Things could a different this time between us. We could run away together and never turn back. If I don't take this opportunity now, I might lose her forever." Cassidy stood up very slowly and put her hands on Jason's shoulders, her eyes were dead serious and fixed on his.

"I'm going to say this to you now and I know it's going to hurt but you have to believe me and listen okay?" She paused and Jason nodded rather hesitantly, "You've already lost Rachel forever." Jason sighed and started to move away from her, "No listen! She's gone Jason, she left you for Erik and she left Erik to start a new life. You two are so far over that there is no hope of repair." Jason flinched, "Look I know you don't want to hear this but you did this to yourself. If you truly loved her you wouldn't have cheated on her, you wouldn't have abused her trust and naivety. You can never take back all that's happened between you two. There's too much pain and suffering. It's over Jason and her moving away might be the best thing that's ever happened to you."

"Oh yeah? And how do you figure that?" He spat at her angrily.

"Because you finally have a clean chance to move on." She said softly, "Look around you… isn't that what you wanted, a second chance, a new life, forgiveness? Well you've got it. Now it's time to get over Rachel once and for all." She approached Jason once again who was standing completely still and staring at her intently. She leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Move on Jason, it's time."

That's when it happened. Jason grabbed her face in his large hands and kissed her furiously. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flat against his body. It would have been easy to get lost in the kiss, to get wrapped up in Jason and just let go of everything. But she couldn't do that to herself.

"No Jason, not with me. You know that's not what I meant." She said softly and pushed him off.

"Why not with you? We could be really good together you know. We're already pretending to be engaged. I like you Cass, this could work." Jason sounded almost desperate as he ran his hands threw her hair and leaned down to eye level.

"Because we're not meant to be together."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. I feel it." She sighed. Jason looked sad and completely drained of energy. She had never seen him look like this, so sincere, "Hey look, I'm your friend and I know that you're going to meet some girl who is perfect for you and who wants you just as much as you want them. But Jason I got to tell you something, when you find that girl you better stop sleeping around or I'm going to find you and knock some sense into you." She smiled and Jason laughed and nodded.

"You're right, what the fuck was I thinking? You and me?" He laughed.

"Ridiculous." She smiled tightly and swallowed, "Now we'd better get to Steve and Sarah's before they sacrifice us on a cross or something." She took his hand in her own and they walked together to the Newlin's house. Both completely lost in their own world of thoughts.

Godric

Empty. Everything was dark and blurry. Erik's voice drifted away from him as he put down the phone and stared blankly at the wall. She was gone, she had left him and now he had nothing to hold on to. No hope that perhaps she would come around and see that he had been there for her all along. To see that he was always there to pick her up when she was down. When Erik had kicked her to the ground. He had been there, always. And now she was just gone without a word. There were no long and drawn out goodbyes, filled with apologies and begging her not to leave. There was none of that. He had never had the opportunity to apologize for the event that had happened with her sister. Now the guilt would plague him for an eternity. He would have no closure. No way to tell her how he truly felt about her. She was truly gone.

His loyalty to Erik was being tested. He couldn't truly in good conscience go behind his progeny's back and call her, go to speak to her, ask her to run away with him and to never go back, never look back. No. He couldn't do that, not after all the time he had been with Erik, not with the love he had for him and the respect and bond they shared. A betrayal like this could never be repaired. He had to face the fact that he would probably never see the girl of his dreams again and now the emptiness he had felt, the deep sadness he retained, he felt it at full force. Godric picked up the phone again and began to speak to Erik who sounded almost frantic. He was shouting and cursing in Swedish, talking about finding her and bringing her back against her will. Godric knew that Erik wouldn't do any such thing. These were all empty promises that would never be fulfilled. He couldn't comfort Erik now or being him to see reason. So he allowed him to vent. His phone buzzed as someone else tried to reach him at the same time. He ignored it without even checking who it was and listened to Erik with sympathetic ears. He could practically feel the pain in his voice and it made his heart tear even more. Everything was different now. Nothing would ever be the same as it was before. Not with him, not with Erik, not with anyone. Isabelle walked into the room and saw the streaks of red from the tears that had slipped down Godric's face only moments ago.

"Erik where are you?" He asked. He himself was in his house, his bedroom to be more precise, sitting on the bed and staring up at Isabelle's concerned expression.

"At the hotel. I can't leave yet. Perhaps she'll come back soon. She can't actually be serious about this. She's just angry with me right now, blowing off steam and overreacting as all human's do. She'll be back soon." Erik's desperation only made Godric put his head in his hands and restrain himself from screaming. Anger over took him. How could she be so selfish? How could she do this to Erik or even him? She should be coming back soon and begging him for forgiveness. He would laugh at her then and refuse her.

Erik and Godric conversed for a while longer before Erik finally said firmly that he simply wanted to be left alone at the moment. Not once admitting that this had actually truly affected him emotionally. But eventually the phone call ended and Godric had to face Isabelle.

"Rachel's gone." Was all he said and Isabelle nodded in understanding.

"I know, Godric I am truly sorry." Her heals clicked against the floor as she came closer to him. Reaching out to embrace him but he raised his hand to stop her abruptly.

"Don't be silly, there is no need for you to apologize, you have done nothing wrong. It is Rachel who has something to be sorry for, Erik is truly in distress." Godric tried to take all the hurt out of his voice and sound as professional as possible. Isabelle wasn't buying it at all.

"As are you I can tell. The way you talked about her I know you cared about her much more than you let on. It's okay to admit it Godric, I won't tell anyone."

"No matter, it's a moot point. She is gone now. She ran away."

"Not from you, from Erik…"

"Erik is my family. I shall not betray him!" Godric shouted. Isabelle recoiled and nodded her head slightly. Godric dismissed her with a wave of his hand and she left the room. His phone blinked beside him and he opened it to see that he had received a voice mail. He decided that it might be important and contain information about the missing sheriff that they needed to find so he decided that he should listen to it just in case.

"Godric, it's me." Godric recognized the voice immediately. She sounded shaky and worn out, "When you get this you'll already know what's happened. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if you're talking to Erik right now." She laughed humorlessly and cleared her throat, "Anyways, I didn't want to leave things with you the way we did. It wouldn't be fair… to either of us. I wanted to talk to you in person but I left in such a rush…" Her voice drifted off, "I just couldn't stay anymore Godric. I realized that I was throwing my life away before it even started. I had dreams you know. I had dreams about going to college and becoming an author, a teacher or even a lawyer or something. Leaving Louisiana and Bon Temps for good and never looking back. But I put all that on hold for Erik, I thought that I would go back to it later, once Erik and I had truly settled in together. But I know now that if I stayed I would never leave. And I can't do that, I can't just give up the rest of my life for someone who might not at all be interested next year, or even tomorrow and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it." There was another long pause, "I don't expect you to understand but I wanted to explain it to you anyways. I'm really going to miss you Godric and I'm sorry I was ignoring you before I was just so… angry and I shouldn't have shut you out. You were always there for me and you're probably the kindest person I've ever met… anyways none of that matters now. Goodbye Godric. I'll truly miss you."

And with that, the line went dead.