Chapter Twenty Seven

Note: Sorry about the delay everyone. I sorta lost the bunny for this fic and am only able to work on the chapters here and there. Can't wait to finish it though! Which this will have TWO endings. One that's all fluff and good stuff and another that's totally kinky and twisted. You won't be able to find the alternate ending on here but I'll post a link if anyone is interested.

**Edited in the wee hours of the morning lol I think I fixed it all...lol I THINK.**

"Come on, hurry up." Was all Randy heard as Justin say as the smaller man hurried by and kept going. They were on the fourth floor of the Mercy Medical Center hospital, just outside the IUC to be exact, and apparently Cody wasn't there anymore. Justin hurried on to the elevator at the end of the hall that they'd just gotten out of not but a few minutes before and of course Randy was hot on his heels, his heart racing as he waited to hear more. The elevator doors closed as Justin sighed and mashed a button along the panel beside them and got the beast moving. "He's stabilized so they moved him into his own room on the sixth floor. I guess he woke up while I was gone."

Randy nodded as he listened, his stomach fluttering with such joy and relief. Cody woke up! Oh god yes Cody woke up!-!-! "What else did they say?-!" He wished he'd been there to hear it for himself but he had hadn't gone in to the ICU since Justin had told him to wait outside. Actually the little prick insisted and to avoid another heated argument Randy bit his tongue and stayed put. That is, until Justin came rushing out…

"They're releasing him in the morning."

Wait. WHAT?-! "So soon?-!" That didn't sound right at ALL! Cody had tried to kill himself and they were sending him HOME?-! What the fuck?-!

"Yeah well he doesn't have medical insurance so they don't want to keep him here unless it's life threatening." Justin explained bitterly and crossed his arms, "They said he should be fine in a day or two."

Randy just shook his head. Fine? FINE?-! No Cody would not be fine! He'd tried to take his own life and almost fucking succeeded! "Shit they can't just send him away like that! He needs help-"

"No what he needs is for you to leave him alone… Or take him back." He gave him a quick suspicious frown, "And where's Tristan?"

Or for fucks sake! Randy stepped back and stifled a sigh, resisting the thought to tell Justin to shut the fuck up. God damn it, he should be there for Cody?-! That's what Justin wanted?-! Fucking hell that's what he was TRYING to do! But Justin was fighting him every step of the way and it was really starting to piss him the fuck off! How dare he speak of their relationship as if he knew it! How dare he speak of something he knew nothing about!-! "Tristan took a cab home and like I said before, I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere until Cody tells me to." And Justin should mind his own his fucking business!

"Mm-Hmm. And why didn't you take him back after Shawn was murdered? That would have been a better time than this."

"Excuse me?" Again, that was none of Justin's fucking business and the little bitch was lucky Randy didn't throw him against the god damn wall!

"Just answer my question." Justin demanded as he turned around with a nasty glare, "Why did you wait so fucking long when it was so obvious you were devastated when you thought Cody was dead? Explain it to me because I just don't fucking get it."

Randy clenched his teeth, fighting to keep them hidden behind his lips as he restrained a snarl. Stay calm Randy; don't fuck him up just because he's right. "I don't have to explain anything to you-"

"Oh yes you fucking do!" Justin snarled and shoved him hard in the chest just as he'd done earlier; and both barely noticed the elevator had come to a stop as Randy's back hit the wall. "That's my best friend you fucked up and tossed aside like garbage and I'll be damned if I'm going to make even a second of this easy for you!" He stepped back, shoulders broad as he held a firm, threatening stance, "You want him?-! You'll have to go threw me to get him!"

Oh really?-! "You want to fight me?-!" Randy sprang away from the wall with his question, getting into Justin's face as he'd done earlier only now he kept his hands balled into fight fists at his sides, "Is that what you're telling me I'll have to do?-!"

"No you fucking idiot just answer my question!-! Why did it take you so fucking long to come for him?-! WERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?-!"

"I WAS AFRAID!-!-!" God damn it THERE! There was his fucking answer! He was a fucking coward! "I GAVE UP OKAY?-!" And he regretted it more than anything in his life! "I MADE A MISTAKE!" And that was all there was to it! He fucked up and he was finally taking responsibility so Justin had better step the fuck down and BACK OFF. Because this time Randy would destroy anything in his way to Cody. Fucking ANYTHING!

Randy was shaking and as he visibly seethed Justin just starred at him and only pissed him off further as he simply arched a brow and smirked, "Actually, you made several mistakes." He so thoughtfully pointed out before turning around and directed the elevator to return back to the sixth floor; as it had taken off on its own during their heated exchange. "But, that's all I needed to hear." He added and the doors opened and for the second time that night Randy quickly followed Justin out of the elevator and into another long eerily quiet hallway; glaring at his back and trying to forget about shoving the little prick into a face plant. "Are we finished now?" He hissed threw his teeth, "Can I see Cody or are you going to continue insisting that I admit more humiliating personal short comings?"

"Don't be a dick." Justin chuckled softly over his shoulder, "Or yeah, I will insist." He led them to another set of doors, pushing threw and didn't wait for Randy as he continued on down yet another long, empty, but well lit hallway. "And don't complain either because I let you off easy."

"Easy?-!" Bullshit he did! "You've been screaming at me for the last two hours!"

Justin shrugged, "You deserved it." They turned a corner and found yet another set of doors only this time Justin stopped to read a small room number listing mounted on the wall in solid black letters before going threw them and slowed his pace. And Randy quickly got to his side. "Maybe so but now is NOT the time!" Fuck man couldn't Justin just yell at him later?-! Like, when they WEREN'T in a fucking HOSPITAL. "Lay off!"

Justin let out a loud sigh and stopped in his tracks, glancing towards a door just a few steps away and shook his head. "Look, you're a dog and I think what you did to my friend was SHIT." He turned to him with his hand on his hip, "You're insecure, selfish, and you wear WAY too much cologne. I REALLY don't care for you and frankly I'd love to beat the living hell out of you rather than let you anywhere near my friend again… BUT-" He took a breath and let it out slowly, rolling his eyes slightly as he did so. "Cody loves you. And for some stupid reason I believe that you lost your phone and will give you this ONE chance to make things right. ONE chance and that's fucking IT." He brought his other hand up and pointed a threatening finger into his chest, "You read me, Mr. Detective? You hear what I'm saying to you? ONE chance and THAT'S IT."

Randy ignored his finger as he nodded and stepped towards the door Justin had been eying, his heart racing as he put his hand around the cold steel lever, "Loud and clear." He answered before going inside, stopping the door as it swung back and gently closed it quietly behind him. Whatever. Fuck Justin. The little brat could threaten him all he wanted but he wasn't going to hurt Cody and Randy seriously didn't find Justin intimidating. Or, maybe it was that it just didn't matter because he was about to get his Cody back and nothing else in the world was as important as that was? Nothing even came close!

But fuck he was scared. What if Cody sent him away without hearing what he had to say? Fuck or WORSE what if he only made everything even more screwed up and sent Cody over the edge again?-?

Shit! No! Can't think like that Randy! Can't back down now! He took a deep breath, daring to bring his head up and almost jerked it back down when his stomach literally cramped up into nothing but nerves as the small room came into focus. It, was dim, a thick light gray curtain pulled out and almost completely covering a tall window directly across the room from the door. The floors were white, tile, and seemed fleshly cleaned as the pungent scent of lemon cleanser hung heavily in the air. He looked closer and found he was standing before a doorway to a small bathroom that was hidden within the darkness. And he dare not turn on the light.

He shuddered. Fuck he hated hospitals. Fuck he hated THIS.

He gulped softly and rubbed a hand over his face, curling his thumb and fingers down his cheeks to his jaw. Oh god why was this so hard?-! What was he so afraid of?-! It would hurt but, so what if Cody told him to fuck off? At least he would have closure! At least he'd know he did everything he could to make this right and he could sleep better knowing it was all Cody's decision!...Right?-!...RIGHT?-!

Shit! And if that was true what if that wasn't enough?-! And what if when Cody sent him away the small amount of hope Randy was clinging to disappeared? What would he do then?-!

Shit! He was doing it again! He forced himself to step further, almost in view of the end of a bed he knew he'd find Cody in and stopped to take a deep breath. He was NOT going to run away from him again god damn it! Fucking hell GET IT TOGETHER RANDY!

"Justin?" Came a soft, raspy voice that Randy barely recognized to be Cody's and closed his eyes, gathering all of his courage. He. Could. Do. This. He could go in there and fix everything and get his Cody back! He could fucking do it god damn it!

He came forward although uncertain of what to say so he said the only thing he could think of just as their eyes locked for a brief moment. "Hey..." He swallowed hard as he stepped closer, his heart sinking as he got a good look at Cody appalling condition. "How are you feeling?" Fuck he looked so...so...dark yet, deathly pale...

"Why are you here?" Cody ignored his question and didn't even lift his head or look him in the eyes now. He just…laid there beneath a thin light green blanket he had pulled up to his chest, his head sunken into a flimsy white pillow. Frankly he looked uncomfortable...Stiff even...And so fucking PALE...

"I didn't send those texts." Randy blurted out as he came closer, taking his jacket off and dropping it into a maroon leather chair beside the bed. "And-And I came here to see you."

"Whatever." Cody quickly mumbled his eyes still on the ceiling and staring at literally nothing.

"No really!" Randy panicked and came to the side of the bed, grabbing onto the guard rail, squeezing tight. Oh God please let Cody believe him! "It was Alex!" And he knew this for a FACT because as he'd followed Justin to the hospital he'd nearly blown the fuck up when he had the thought to ask Tristan just WHO "found" his phone. Of course Tristan had been afraid to answer, correctly predicting that he would only do something horrible to them and that Randy should just concentrate on Cody and forget about it. HA! AS IF!-!-! Randy wasn't going to let this go! No fucking WAY!-!-! Whoever was behind this stunt with Cody and his phone was going to fucking PAY. Oh fuck yes they were going to know the true definition of SUFFERING for what they'd done!

And that someone was fucking ALEX!-!

Cody jerked his head towards him with a skeptical, hard frown as Randy nodded quickly; fuck he had better talk fast! "I lost my phone the other day and that sleazy bitch got his hands on it." He tried to prove his innocence with a sincere tone and pleading eyes, moving closer and dared to put his hand on the edge of the bed beside Cody's; trembling slightly with the desperate need to touch him.

God he wanted to hold his hand so badly! He wanted to take it into his own and bring it to his lips so he could kiss every beautiful, soft knuckle before nuzzling his face into his soft sweet smelling palm…But of course he didn't. He couldn't. And it would be a safe bet that Cody would sooner slap him with his hand than let him nuzzle it.

"I thought my phone was gone for good but Tristan got it back last night and was too afraid to tell me because he was worried about what I'd do to Alex if I knew." As for how Alex thought he was going to get away with this neither of them knew but Randy was pretty sure he'd thought he'd covered his bases by deleting everything on his phone. Fucking, idiot.

"Sure." Cody nodded his head, looking away with a soft sniffle, "Whatever."

"Cody please, I'm telling the truth." Randy started to panic again, his body trembling slightly with it. "I swear I only just found out that you were here!"

Cody scoffed, "And yet you got your phone back last night. Nice to know you weren't even thinking about me when you did."

Fuck that wasn't fair. Randy was always thinking about Cody. Fucking ALWAYS. He just hadn't been able to face him till now. And surely Cody could understand why! "It wasn't that I stopped thinking about you or that I don't care. Because I do care and I'm always thinking about you, that's why I'm here now. But last night I was busy with Michael when Tristan came to me with my phone and I didn't even have a chance to check anything on it until about an hour ago. Everything else was deleted but I saw your last text and rushed right over." He stopped and held his breath as he flicked his eyes around Cody's tired but, still absolutely gorgeous face. He'd been watching Cody glance at him over and over, sniffling, shaking, pulling the blanket higher as if he were cold and couldn't help but get the idea that, Cody was…Afraid of him?-?-?

"You did?"

Randy quickly nodded again; of course he'd rushed over! He fucking LOVED him! Didn't Cody know that?-! Didn't he know that beneath all the hurt and anguish was still so much love he held only for HIM?-!

"I tried to call but Justin wouldn't answer." Oh god Cody DIDN'T know! How could he?-! Randy had lied and told him he'd imaged ever hearing it! He'd played it off like Cody had some wishful dream and thanked God he'd never actually told him that! Oh god Randy you fucking IDIOT!-! OF COURSE HE DIDN'T KNOW! "C-Can't really blame him though… now that I know why he wouldn't answer…" How he managed to keep up with the conversation he didn't know and it was hard but he forced his mind to fall silent. He wanted to tell Cody how he felt but, it wasn't right. He could only tell Cody he loved him just as soon as he was sure Cody would believe it…And then Cody would know…

And then…?

Cody glanced at him, his eyes eerily dull, lifeless, and full of terrifying self loathing and fear. "He hates you."

"He does." Randy agreed but held his tongue at the same time. "And I can't blame him for that either." But god damn it he didn't want to talk about fucking Justin! He wasn't there for Justin. He was there for CODY!

"He saw your messages."

Randy flinched, looking away for a moment to compose himself. God damn it this just wasn't fair! It was such bullshit because he didn't fucking do it and to be honest it was killing him so fucking hard that Cody would think he would. But, then again, if Randy were Justin or Cody and he were in their shoes? He wouldn't have believed his shit either. And knowing that he also knew Justin had every right to meddle in their lives because Justin was the only one who'd been there for Cody; while everyone else had…-… just tossed him aside.

Still though, he didn't like it.

"I know but those texts weren't from ME. And I understand Justin's hatred but I just wish he would let me talk to him instead of screaming at me so I have a chance to give him all the facts." Cody probably didn't want to hear them either but Randy needed him to; besides, weren't they really talking about Cody on SOME level anyway? And, even if Cody didn't believe it or wouldn't take him back in the end he still wanted him to hear that he hadn't sent those texts. He couldn't explain it but he just needed him to hear that he'd never EVER be so fucking CRUEL. "I just got my phone back and Tristan honestly had no idea Alex had sent those texts or deleted my other stuff. Neither of us checked and I'd ask Tristan if he noticed anything else but I already know he wouldn't have since I don't think he's ever touched my phone before last night when he took it back from Alex-"

"Please." Cody suddenly cut him off and visibly grimaced and swallowed hard,looking away once more, "Don't talk to me about Tristan." He swallowed again, closing his eyes for a moment and reopened them slowly. "I-I don't hate him or anything. I mean he's a good kid and all I just… don't want to hear about… You and Tristan..."

Randy nodded lightly as he fell silent. It was understandable that Cody didn't want to hear about him and Tristan; just like Randy didn't want to hear about him and Andrew or, him and Shawn. "I didn't send those texts." He said again, sort of changing the subject after a long silent minute of just watching Cody uncomfortably avoiding his gaze. "Please, you have to believe me…I'd never hurt you like that! I've done some fucked up shit but I'd never do something like that to you!"

Cody surprised him as he let out a loud huff as sat up quickly; his stomach fluttering fearfully as he watched Cody's eyes slowly narrowing, "Is that what you came here for? To clear your conscience about what I did?" He asked and abruptly turned onto his side, facing away from him as if he were trying to hide and curled into in a ball beneath the blankets. "Just go, Randy." He demanded bitterly. "This isn't your fault anyway right? You have no reason to be here."

Randy swallowed hard, backing up towards the chair. Shit. Did Cody just send him away? "I'm not here to play the blame game, Cody. I came here to see you to talk but I knew you wouldn't let me do that if you thought I had anything to do with…with this…"

"So?-! What?-! You want a fucking medal for manning up and take responsibility?-!" Cody let out a bitter snarl and nuzzled his face noticeably hard into the pillow, "Whatever okay?-! You're pathetic! Just fuck off leave me alone!"

Randy jerked back and almost tripped over the chair as he collided into it hard it enough to send it crashing into the wall. No! Please Cody don't be done with him! Not now! Not like this!

Randy reached out and grabbed onto the railing once more, clinging to it so hard his knuckles ran white and ached around the unforgiving metal. Oh god he couldn't take this! If Cody didn't take Randy back he was going to fucking lose it! "Cody…" He choked out softly, "Please." Please forgive him! Please take him back! Oh god PLEASE! DON'T SEND HIM AWAY!-!-!

"Whatever, I don't give a shit about this anymore." Cody grumbled, laying oddly still, stiff. "Just go away so I can get some sleep in a real bed while I still can. It's been a while and I'd like to enjoy it."

Randy rapidly shook his head firmly at Cody's backside, releasing the bed but backing up to the chair, No way. Fuck THAT. "I'm not going anywhere." He sat down, folding his hands neatly against his lap. "Pathetic or not. " And he would sit there and watch him sleep if he had to! If Cody wanted to rest then fuck he SHOULD rest! And yes Randy had said he would leave if Cody told him to but, fuck THAT. Cody wasn't going to just take him back with open arms like in some silly fairy tale where the ending is all gooey with a hero and a happily ever after. This was real life and the real Cody was hurting, badly. This was going to take time and real effort! He'd have to fight for him!

And, Randy was in for the long haul because knew in his gut and in his heart that Cody didn't really want him to leave. He knew this, THEM, just couldn't be over.

Not when they obviously loved each other so MUCH.

"Randy?" Came his name in a sigh and Cody's soft voice almost started him.

He sat forward slightly, flicking his eyes around his backside as he waited for him to turn over, biting back a sad sigh when he still didn't. "Yes?"

"You're not pathetic." He whispered hoarsely. "I did this to myself okay? You don't have to worry about me anymore and you're conscious is clear so you can go now. I'm not your burden-"

"Please, stop." Randy had to cut him off. "Don't even say that because you're not a burden. There's nothing wrong with YOU, Cody. It's the rest of us that are fucked up..." Cody still didn't move so Randy did, coming to the side of the bed again and dared to return his hand to rest against the blanket. "You gave me fair warning but I didn't listen so I screwed up. I'm the burden, Cody. Not you. I may not have understood at the time but I sure as hell do now and I get it and...And sometimes even the important stuff is just...out of our control."

"Heh." He heard Cody chuckle softly and it was the most wonderful sound in the whole world. "Where ever did you hear something so ridiculous?"

Randy's hopes rose instantly. Did Cody really just laugh?-! "Please. TALK to me Cody. It's safe now." He jumped on the opportunity and took a chance as he hurried to the other side, forcing Cody to look at him and reached for his hand, carefully, and gentle with the I.V there as he threaded their fingers together. "I know you might not believe that..." He said, rubbing the back of Cody's hand against his chest threw his shirt, "But it's true." He lent back only a little, taking Cody's hand with him and held it against his chest, "You can talk to me...You can tell me everything."

Cody looked scared, his eyes wide, his face pale besides the rough dark stubble growing out of control over his normally well shaved jaw and cheeks. "What do you mean?" See! He didn't really want him to leave!

"Tell me everything." Randy squeezed his hand and gave him a pleading look. "I know I wasn't listening before but that stops now okay? I'm here. I'm listening. And I won't judge because lord knows I have no fucking right." His stomach fluttered again as Cody frowned slightly, glancing at their hands before his fingers briefly squeezed back, "I don't even know where to start." He admitted hoarsely and his voice was even so much worse than before. "Everything happened so fast and it's all such a complicated blur right now…"

"It's okay, we'll figure it out. But, hang on." Randy left his side for a moment to fetch him some water, returning seconds later with a small plastic cup he'd filled in the sink in the bathroom and waited for Cody to sit up a little further before handing it to him. "When did you first meet Michael?" There. That was a good starting point. And hopefully Cody was ready to talk!

Cody carefully sat up and took a long drink before answering; and his voice was a little smoother, "Wow you really do mean everything...Well Um...Um... I guess we can begin with Michael since that when everything pretty much went to shit anyway." He took a quick sip, slightly hiding behind the cup after wards. "It all started when I took a part time job as a cashier in the casino a few years ago. I was just doing it to have some extra cash because at the time I had a scholarship and a few grants so all I had to worry about was spending money." He shrugged slightly, obviously growing uncomfortable again, " The job seemed pretty easy. Which, it was all so perfect at the time because it was what I needed since I was about to start my ER rotation." He took another drink, finishing it off and Randy was quick to refill it as he waited for him to continue. Cody was surprisingly more open than he'd expected and Randy would seriously drag the sink closer to the bed and give him all the water he wanted just so long as he didn't stop!

"Anyway Michael didn't hire me but he happened to walk through the pit one night when I was working. I didn't see him but he saw me and before I knew it he was all over me asking for a date until I said yes. And its weird, it was crazy to me then and it's even more bizarre to me now because he was so persistent but, I said yes. Somehow I mistook obsession with passion and seriously before I knew it he took us to like, this really fancy Italian restaurant like right on the spot." He paused, obviously reliving the memory somewhere in his mind as his eyes danced around the blankets over his legs and never settled. "At the time I thought it was really sweet how he liked to take care of me. Who wouldn't, you know? No one had ever done something so nice for me and I'd never had anything like what he gave me. I mean, I'd had lovers before but none that took me to expensive restaurants or helped get me into a nice apartment and paid my bills while I went to school and worked part time." He paused as he let out a bitter laugh, squinting hard at a spot on the bed as if it were Michael himself. "I thought he was a godsend…My hero. Or something stupid like that."

Randy nodded slowly as he listened quietly. Not that he thought any of what Cody said was stupid as apparently Cody did but he wasn't about to open his big mouth and disagree with him either. No it was Cody's time to talk and Randy wasn't going to say a fucking word! He was going to shut the fuck up and listen for a change! Well, besides a few probing questions of course…"When did everything change?"

"I don't know exactly but it wasn't too long after we met." He quickly paused again; swallowing hard as he looked around the room, his face paling with such shame. "I was broke and he put me on stage in a matter of weeks after our first "date"...That's all I remember about that…"

Randy nodded again. "What happened with school?"

Cody's shoulders rose and fell slightly in a another shrug as he dropped his head and stared at his carefully folded now hands against his lap, "I don't think I should say anymore." He said with a shaky sigh and still didn't so much as glance at him again. "And anyway it's a long story."

"Why shouldn't you say more?" Randy asked and had the idea to pull the chair closer and sat down quietly, putting a hand on the bed and didn't know why but, he just HAD to put it there. Maybe a part of him was hoping Cody would reach out and take it again?-?-? Fuck maybe every fucking OUNCE of him was hoping for that? "It's okay if it's a long story. I'm not going-"

"NO." Cody interrupted him in a firm tone but still didn't look up, "Not when I come off looking like a fucking whore it's not!" His cheeks turned red, his eyes darkening as they glared at the blanket. Cody just couldn't seem to look him in the eyes right now...

"Nothing about what that bastard did to me is OKAY!-!-"

Shit. "That's not what I meant." Oh fuck NO that is NOT what he meant at all! Of course what Michael put him through wasn't okay! It was fucking AWFUL and Randy didn't even know the half of it! "I meant it was okay for you to keep talking…You're safe here... And it's just you and me right now."

Cody huffed, jerking his head up but still didn't so much as GLANCE at him. "Fine, I will. Michael emptied my bank account. He took everything and I had to start paying my own way for everything that he'd given me. Which, it would have been possible if rent wasn't so fucking high but of course Michael put me in a fourteen hundred dollar a month apartment. As for school?-! Fuck I dropped out after I almost gave a four year old kid the wrong blood type because I was too tired and hung-over and misread the fucking label!" He stopped, he had to, he was out of breath. And he quickly took a deep one, letting it out in another huff, "After that Michael put me in the Underground since I no longer had any reason not to devote all my time to paying him back for everything. That and running his drugs and sleeping with any client of his that paid the right price." His voice cracked and he stopped for a moment.

"Fuck Randy are you sure you want to hear all of this?"

"Yes, keep going." Fuck Randy didn't think Cody had ever spoken this much in one sitting during their entire relationship! He wasn't about to let him stop now! Even if it was shit that he really didn't exactly want to hear.

"Fine." Cody snapped. "That's where I met Shawn. He gave me a place to stay and convinced Michael to let me work at the T-strip instead of the Underground. I still don't know how Shawn did it but he got Michael to let me back into my apartment and everything finally started to get better again...Until Shawn started drinking more and Michael got him hooked on coke. I hung in but it was about a year after that when I caught Shawn fucking Alex and ended it...And then I met you..."

Randy cocked his head to the side, "Why didn't you just leave?" Seriously why didn't he just...Leave town?-?-?

Cody's head jerked up, "I couldn't." He growled threw his teeth with a scowl, "You know how Michael is, Randy."

Randy nodded quickly. Oh yes. He did know how Michael was. He knew how could get his thumb over someone and just totally FUCK their lives up to his liking. But, he still just didn't understand why Cody didn't tell him straight up that Michael was going to force him onto his "team". And why didn't Cody say anything when he realized that Randy wasn't listening enough to catch his hints and clues that were now so fucking obvious? He could have saved them both if Cody had just been honest! And fucking hell why didn't Cody just run away from all of this?-! What did he have to lose when Michael had taken everything?-! What was he so fucking afraid of?-!

He squinted at him slightly but kept his mouth shut as Cody only gave him an even nastier scowl. "You asked me that as if it were so easy! You don't just leave Michael! Fuck you!" He shook his head with furious eyes. "Do you know how long it takes a rat to gnaw threw the human stomach?-!" Cody was so bitter and ANGRY as he spoke and his words were so fucking disturbing. A rat gnawing its way into a person's stomach?-! Did he really just say that?-!

"Do you?-!" Cody hissed, "I do!"

Randy blinked slowly, he was so confused; and feeling quite sick. Cody didn't have any scars on his stomach so it couldn't have been HIM that had endured such horrid torture. So what the fuck was he talking about?-! "What do you-"

"I may be a trick but it's better than being eaten alive by fucking rats!" He was adamant with a strong voice. "No one leaves Michael! NO ONE! And I did what I had to do to stay alive!"

Randy swallowed hard and let his hand fall away from the bed. Cody wasn't going to take it anyway. And apparently Randy was treading on thin ice at the moment. "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you..."

"You were judging me."

"Not intentionally."

"Well then stop because you don't know what it's like to watch someone be tortured to death! I do and I know that fear! And you don't know what it's like to have everything taken from you!"

"But you had ME!" Randy just couldn't take this! He had to say SOMETHING! "You never lost ME!"

"Bullshit I didn't! You were done with me just as quick as you began!"

"That is NOT true! I was angry and hurt but I was NEVER done with you!"

"Funny, you sure as hell didn't make it seem that way when you were calling me a whore and telling me to fuck off."

Randy rubbed his hand over his face with a sigh, "I didn't mean any of the horrible things I said to you. I was hurt, Cody. I felt like I lost everything when I found out about you and Michael. Fuck I mean you...You broke my fucking heart. How else did you expect me to react to that?"

"I don't know I guess I was expecting you to stay. I thought you'd never just walk away from us like that...I never thought you'd just...give up."

Shit Randy didn't either but fuck, HE HAD. And now all he could do was come back and try to fix everything before he completely lost it. Because even though he had help from John and the other blonds all still felt so fucking hopeless without Cody by his side. Everything still fucking SUCKED without him!

"I'm sorry." Fuck Cody had no idea how sorry he was. "I screwed up." He was the one avoiding eye contact now as he trembled slightly within his seat, growing cold and nauseous as more silent seconds ticked by. Fuck this wasn't going well and by the sound of it, they weren't going to make it.

"Yeah well it's not like I didn't set you up." Cody surprised him a few minutes later and he jerked his head up with a soft grunt, "Huh?"

"I said it's not like I didn't set you up to fail. I may have tried to tell you but I wasn't so good to you in the beginning..."

Randy frowned. He wasn't? Really?-? Besides their first date mishap he couldn't recall any time that Cody wasn't "good" to him then. So fuck that could only mean one thing; "Did you even want to be with me?"

"Sort of…" Cody shrugged, his voice low, sad even. "Well, not at first. I mean I did rub up on you on my own the first time but that was just for the show and you were pretty good looking so I went for it. But after that it was Michael calling the shots. I tried to tell him you were a good guy but the next thing I know I was on my knees and sucking you off in the T-strip." His voice cracked and he paused, pursing his lips together as he took a slow, deep breath; and Randy was watching him closely. "After that I tried to get out of out it. That's why Christopher broke my fingers, because I refused and insisted it was a waste of time. But he didn't give a shit about what I thought and that's how you ended up locked in that room with me to begin with. That was his bright idea."

Randy just nodded slowly as he listened, his heart cracking more and more as Cody hit him with one painful fact after another. And again he felt so foolish. Had any of their relationship been what he thought it was?-?-? Did Cody actually feel something for him or was it guilt over what he'd been forced to do to such a "nice guy"?

"I really thought you were just after dirt on Michael." He continued, chewing his lip as he hesitated between speaking "And if we're being honest I should say that…I liked fucking with you.. I thought you deserved it and it was nice for me to finally be able to use someone for a change. Instead of me being the one being used…"

Randy nodded again, completely numb now. Their first kiss…And Cody didn't mean it. He was just fucking with him. Their first special moment shared inside the back of Hunter's car and…Cody didn't mean it. He was just, FUCKING with him. Fuck how much else of their firsts hadn't he really wanted?-?-? How much else of what they had just wasn't real?-! Oh god fuck he knew this was a possibility and still he just couldn't bare it!

"It wasn't until after we slept together that I started to realize how wrong I was to be like that with you." He glanced at him for a moment, tightening his hands around the blanket. "You were so attentive…So sincere. I knew I had made a HUGE mistake..."

Randy bit back a grimace, his heart once again beginning to fall apart. "So our first time you…You only did it because Michael forced you to?" And because he got off on the idea that he was going to break his heart?-! He didn't want to ask because he already knew the answer to that but he knew he had to if he ever wanted to be certain. After all nothing was ever as it seemed when Mizanin was involved and Randy wasn't about to take the chance of being wrong again. And, he remembered that night they first had sex; every last fucking detail because it was supposed to be special! It was supposed to mark the beginning of something wonderful; not the foundation for such utterly agonizing betrayal! Anyway he fucking remembered it and he distinctly recalled Cody receiving a rather late phone call that night when he'd stepped out of the room to give him some space. He hadn't thought much of it then what with the raging case of blue balls but now and off and on since then it seemed strange, as it should have! And he also recalled how Cody had some back in to the room moments after the call with a completely different attitude. He'd been all over him after that! Fuck it was almost like he was begging for it; like he needed it to actually save his life and Randy just hadn't fucking seen it!

"Yes...I'm sorry…I know it meant a lot to you." He heard Cody answer in a somber tone and could only nod once more as he resisted the urge to put his face in his hands to hide. "S'okay." He said and tried to hide his anguish with a small smile, "Don't be sorry…Wasn't your fault…" No, it was HIS. It was Randy's fault for ignoring so many signs, so many god damn red flags! And it was HIS fault for being so god damn EASY! "You did what you had to do." He dropped his gaze to the floor, exhaustion kicking in and taking over as he gave the last bit of his strength he had to the fight of stifling a loud, agonizing scream threatening to explode from his throat. Fuck he was heartbroken all over again...

"You don't have to stay here." Cody suddenly seem to blurt out and again Randy jerked his head up. "They're um….They're releasing me later so you don't have to stick around if you have work…Or something. I can find my way home on my own."

Randy fought a yawn as he sat back, getting comfortable despite his heartache. "I'm fine. And you're not going back to the Underground." Nor was he leaving Cody alone anytime soon. Even if they weren't going to be able to fix things between them he'd still never leave his side until he knew he was safe. Not now. And never again.

Cody frowned, "But…I don't have anywhere else to go…"

"I'll take care of it." He assured as he folded his hands against his lap, "You just rest."

Cody nodded slowly before eying Randy suspiciously as he sank down beneath the covers again, completely puzzled by his words. He'd take care of it?-?-?

What was that supposed to mean?-?-?