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Chapter 6

"Ziva, you've been throwing paper balls at Tony's desk for ten minutes now, and... I hate to break this to you, but the desk is not going to fight back, no matter how hard you try." McGee stated, slowly starting to feel hypnotized by Ziva's movement.

"I know", Ziva shrugged. "But imagining him sitting there and getting hit by them is at least something." She threw one last ball and then sighed, clearly not satisfied with the game.

"You could throw paper balls at me." McGee suggested sympathetically.

"McGee, that is really nice of you to say, but... it wouldn't be the same as with Tony." When she saw the expression on his face, she quickly added: "Not that teasing you cannot be very funny, as well! But fighting somebody who is so clearly inferior to my skills just doesn't give me the satisfaction I need."

"Well, um, thanks Ziva, that makes me feel so much... better." McGee grimaced, just when his attention was drawn to the coffee-cup-holding figure who had stepped out of the elevator. "Boss!?"

"Why did you take a leave of absence if you are coming to the office anyway, Gibbs?" Ziva said wearily.

Gibbs shot her a look. "Not a leave of abscence, Ziva" he corrected and took a sip of his coffee.

"Well technically it is one, Boss", McGee said matter-of-factly. "At least officially."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "When was the last time you saw me care about 'officially', McGee." Tim considered that for a second and then just nodded thoughtfully.

The story behind Gibbs' official unofficial leave of absence was simple: He wanted to be able to spend time at the hospital whenever Tony would need him - or in that matter, rather when he would think that Tony needed him. Which didn't mean, however, that he wouldn't be able to work during the rest of the time. 'Work" in this case meant sitting in the office and watching Ziva and McGee suffer under the desk duty they had been assigned to until further notice.

"How is Tony?" McGee asked cautiously, still feeling strangely anxious when bringing that question up.

"Stubborn." Gibbs replied and took another sip of coffee.

"That is not a real answer, Gibbs." Ziva grumbled from her chair, and Gibbs frowned at the sudden sinister look on her face.

Later, when he and Ziva were alone in the elevator, Gibbs glanced pointedly at her. "You should go see him."

Ziva's face turned slightly pink. "Who said I wouldn't?" she replied a little too aggressively.

Gibbs just stared at her. "There's no need to be afraid of what you will find there, Ziva."

Ziva sheepishly avoided his gaze and cleared her throat, but remained silent until the elevator came to a stop.

"Just go see him, Ziva." Gibbs said again, before he stepped through the sliding doors.

When she was standing outside Tony's room that evening, she tried to take deep breaths. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Tony, she missed him, actually. But the mere thinking about what had happened to him twisted her heart and, yes, she was scared. She felt stupid for it, but she was scared of not being able to handle the situation.

Finally, she stepped in quietly and raised an eyebrow at what she saw: Abby, who was sitting on the edge of his bed, was rubbing what appeared to be a pink ice cube over Tony's forehead, who seemed to be sleeping restlessly.

"Are you rubbing Tony's face with Caf Pow ice cubes, Abby?" Ziva hissed pointedly.

Abby just shot her a "yeah, so?" look and whispered: "He's in a lot of pain and I'm being creative."

Ziva shook her head at that and then took a closer look at Tony. He had become very slender in the past week, and it had been a while since she had last seen him so unshaven. His ragged breathing betrayed the serious pain he was in and the exertion written on his face shocked her. Ziva swallowed hard and tried to push away the hurt building up in her chest. "Where is Gibbs?" she asked, just to say anything.

"I sent him home." Abby replied. "I mean seriously: The man was stinking."

Ziva took a few indecisive steps towards the bed. She was at a loss, especially with Abby there... Distractedly she picked up Tony's medical chart and flipped through it without even seeing the words.

"So it's only the two of us, then, yes? Where are all the other women now, all the hot dates?" She immediately regretted her comment. She didn't even know why she had said it.

Neither did Abby, who stared at her in shock. "Ziva!" she hissed. "That was mean!"

"It's okay, Abbs. She's only pissed because she didn't get me laid before it was too late." Tony's voice made Ziva jump out of her skin. "You're awake, Tony?" was all she could say, and she stared pointedly at Abby, who hadn't even blinked and apparently had known.

"Yeah, Zee-vah, I am." Tony said wearily, without opening his eyes. "Abbs, could you dim the light a little more?"

"It's already on the lowest level, Tony." Abby answered apologetically.

"Oh.. Never mind. But thanks for the ice cubes. They do smell interesting, by the way."

He then fell silent again.

They didn't talk for a while, Abby sympathetically running ice cubes over Tony's brow; Ziva standing there by the foot of the bed, feeling stupid and emotional and worriedly watching Tony; Tony moaning softly from the pain, never opening his eyes.

Ziva would never have thought that Abby could be so silent. In this moment she secretly admired - no, envied her for the ability to be so… cordial, to never be afraid of letting her guard down. She was sure, Abby was hurting as much as she was, seeing Tony like this, but she seemed to either handle it better or to be simply able to put her own feelings aside to be there for him.

Tony's sudden loud groan and the pained contortion of his features alarmed both of them and Ziva instinctively hurried next to the bed. Abby let him squeeze her hand, while with the other she soothingly stroked his head. When his breathing was getting more even again, the two women automatically turned to look at each other for a short moment. Ziva saw tears in the young goth's eyes, only now realizing how much energy it cost Abby, too, not to break down.

"Don't they give you something for the pain, Tony?" Ziva asked softly.

She wasn't sure if he had heard her, as he didn't react and seemed to be concentrating on his breathing.

"He's playing hero and refusing to take the meds." Abby answered in his place.

"Not… playing", Tony panted through clenched teeth. "Have to stop anyway."

Abby ran her hand over his cheek and, glancing at Ziva, shrugged wordlessly. Ziva frowned and opened her mouth. "Tony -" she began, but was interrupted by Abby, who was pointeldly gazing at her and shaking her head. "I've already tried."

Minutes passed, and the pain shooting through Tony's body didn't seem to be subsiding at all. When he let out something like a small cry, Ziva couldn't stand it any longer. "That's enough." she said with a trembling voice and abruptly left the room.

"Where're ya going?" Tony panted weakly, and then to Abby: "Where's she going?

"I think she went to force someone to give you a shot, Tony..." Abby replied softly.

"Have you ever considered to just ignore his stupid decision?" Ziva yelled exasperatedly at the nerdy young resident phycisian with whom she had been arguing for the past ten minutes.

"Well, I'm afraid it's not that simple –"

"What do you mean, 'not that simple'! Haven't you been listening? He doesn't want the pain to stop because he is afraid and doesn't want to be weak!! Don't you realize how wrong that is, and how bad for his recovery?!"

"As I said, Miss Darbit –"

"David!!"

"– I'm sorry: Miss Duhveed - we have to respect a patient's wish if he is alert enough to be aware of the consequences and if it doesn't pose a direct threat to his life. Agent DiNozzo seems to be fully aware of the consequences when he decides to renounce the pain medication, and - "

"Argh! I cannot believe what you are saying here! Aren't you listening! Of course he is fully aware of the consequences, you idiot, he can't even sleep because he is in so much pain!!" Then, suddenly reconsidering her tactics, Ziva exhaled slowly, calming herself down. She took a step closer to the young doctor, forcing him to back off until he was practically pinned against the wall. "Are you aware", she began with a very different voice now, the whispering one, "that too much pain can kill a person? I have seen people die solely from the pain they were in. A single shot of morphine could have saved them, but they died, because they were refused the medication..." Now the nerdy resident swallowed hard and desperately looked around, hoping to see someone who could rescue him. Ziva sighed, not entirely sure if the second tactic had been such a good idea either. There was one last thing, though, which she hadn't tried... "Do you know who Special Agent Gibbs is...?"

Fifteen minutes later Ziva came back to Tony's room - bringing with her the chirping nurse. Abby silently nodded, breathing out a sigh of relief. Tony, who had now opened his eyes, stared coldly at Ziva. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Ziva." he whispered.

"No, Tony", she replied calmly. "What the hell do YOU think you are doing."

Tony started to shake his head but interrupted the movement when it produced stinging pains in his back. "If I don't want the fucking pain meds, then I don't want the fucking pain meds.", he hissed stubbornly. "Why is that so difficult for you to accept!"

"Because, Tony", she said wearily, "you are wasting way too much of your strength here. When was the last time you slept, really slept; without pains waking you up all the time?"

"I slept for four days", Tony insisted agressively. "I was so out of it I didn't even recognize my own boss! So please forgive me, Ziva, if I prefer not to feel like a vegetable anymore and...–" he suddenly stopped and blinked slowly. He looked at Abby, who looked at the nurse, who had just shot the morphine into his I.V. "Damn."

His tired gaze wandered to Ziva again. "You had no right, Ziva." he whispered, and the the coldness in his eyes felt like a slap in the face to her. She swallowed hard and watched as his eyes slowly closed. "Just sleep, Tony."

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