So sorry for the long interruption. Just too much work at the moment. Anyway, I made it. Hope you're all ready for the next portion of angst ;)

Chapter 8

Two hours of sitting and waiting wasn't something she was used to. She had tried pacing back and forth, but that hadn't felt right either. She couldn't walk around restlessly while Tony was quietly sleeping in the same room. Ziva sighed and stretched uncomfortably, then looked at her partner. His sleep didn't look peaceful at all. The way he was knitting his brows made her wonder what he was dreaming about. She assumed that it wasn't something nice when an anxious groan escaped his lips

Ziva hesitated, then quietly raised from her chair. "Tony" she whispered. It wasn't loud enough to wake him, of course. Instead his breathing quickened even more and he unconsciously clutched the bed sheet with one hand. Ziva bit her lips in sympathy. "Tony", she repeated, "It is only a dream." She reached out tentatively and laid her hand on his arm.

Tony flinched under the touch and awoke with a start. Panting, he looked around in confusion. When he finally seemed to remember where he was, his facial expression shifted from anxious to pained. Only then he seemed to become aware of Ziva, who still had her hand on his arm and was worriedly watching him. Embarrassed, he licked his lips and quickly put on a stony face. Ziva winced when she saw that the look in his eyes was of the same coldness as the last time she had seen him. "Sorry to wake you", she said, trying to sound casual. "You were having a nightmare." Averting her eyes, she walked back to her chair and sat down.

"You been here long?" Tony muttered, after a moment of silence.

Ziva shrugged. "Maybe two hours, I think."

He glowered at her. "Why?"

Ziva frowned. "Why not?" she replied, ignoring the edge in his voice.

"Maybe because you're not exactly the hanging-out type, Zee-vah." Tony said, his tone unexpectedly aggressive.

Ziva sighed and rolled her eyes. "So you are still mad at me because I gave you the pain medication, yes?"

Before he had a chance to answer, they were interrupted by a nurse who walked into the room. "Time for a change of perspective again, Agent DiNozzo!", she announced cheerfully. "Lets put you on your right side, shall we?"

Tony glared at her. "You know, I wish you wouldn't always try to make everything sound like the greatest fun ever." he snapped.

When the nurse just ignored his comment and pulled down his blanket, Ziva decided that it might be best to give Tony some privacy there.

"Oh no, you can stay, honey", the nurse said when she saw that Ziva was about to leave the room. "This will only take a second."

Ziva hesitated and looked at Tony, who, of course, averted his gaze. She bit her lips. If she stayed he would feel uncomfortable. But if she left now anyway, he would think that she felt uncomfortable. Sighing silently she sat down again and watched as the nurse first bent his legs and then firmly grabbed and turned him onto his right side, quickly placing a supporting pillow behind his back. Tony bit his lips at the movement and forced back a whimper. "Just breathe through it." The nurse murmured reassuringly and soothingly ran her hand over his shoulder for a moment. Finally, she put a pillow between his legs and, after asking if he felt OK, left the room again. Ziva looked at her partner who was still breathing heavily through the nose, obviously fighting against some kind of nausea. As she saw him lying there like this, propped up on his side, unable to move, all of a sudden it hit her brutally: Tony would never walk again. Of course she had known that. But seeing him like this now, it suddenly seemed to manifest so clearly. He would never be able to stand on his own. Never. Never ever? She felt a lump building in her throat and inhaled shakily. Her strongest impulse was to run away. God, when had she started to become so weak? She forced herself to look at him again. "Is the pain still very bad?" she asked.

Tony swallowed and gave himself a second to speak. Then he grumbled: "Why don't you tell me, Ziva, I thought you were the expert when it comes to pain."

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Oh for God's sake, Tony. I was doing you a favor!"

"Oh, really?", he replied mockingly. "Well just for your information, I didn't ask for it."

Ziva sighed. "Fine, you do not want to get it now. One day you will be thankful for it."

He snorted cynically. "Sure, one day I'll be immensely thankful for what you did for me that night - one day, when all of this is over – oh, wait! It will never be over! So thanks a lot, Ziva, for NOT making a difference!!"

He actually yelled the last words. Ziva looked away and tried not to feel hurt. Tony seemed to quickly realize that he had gone too far. "Sorry." he said quietly.

Ziva shrugged and swallowed against the lump in her throat. "Perhaps being angry at someone helps you right now. And if it has to be me, I can live with it."

Tony said nothing and instead closed his eyes. Ziva sighed silently and stood up. "I have to go now." she said hoarsely. "Try to be nice to the annoying nurse. I see you tomorrow."

Once outside his room she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. All the tension inside her from bottling up her emotions fell apart to turn into exhaustion. Muttering Hebrew curses, she wearily shook her head and rubbed her eyes when they started to fill with tears.

"I totally know how you feel, Ziva."

Dumbfounded, she looked up. Abby had magically appeared next to her, a sympathetic look in her eyes. Slightly embarrassed, Ziva straightened herself a bit. "More decorations?" she asked, referring to the plants Abby was carrying with her.

Abby shrugged. "In a room like this, there can never be enough of it. Seriously, I've always hated hospitals. I mean what are these… hospital designers thinking? Who invented the weird idea that a sterile environment has to look sterile? Take my lab: Totally sterile. You won't find a single evil tiny bacteria in there, nada, but it's like really nice for simply hanging out, too, right?"

Ziva nodded obediently. "Your lab is really nice for simply hanging out."

Abby looked satisfied. Noticing the sorrowful look in Ziva's eyes, she placed her plants on the floor. "Are you okay?" she asked. "You don't look really... Ziva-like today."

Ziva considered evading the question and pretending to be fine, but decided against it. "Do you sometimes feel as if all this was a nightmare?" she sighed.

"Are you kidding?" Abby replied sadly. "Since this happened to Tony, every morning when the alarm goes off I need a second to realize it hasn't only been a bad dream."

"He snapped at the nurse." Ziva said quietly.

Abby made a face. "Oh. He did that yesterday, too. And it's so wrong. Tony loves nurses! The last time he was in the hospital, he flirted with all of them, even the really ugly and fat ones, and even though he was kinda half dead. But this snapping thing now: Not good. I mean if Gibbs snaps at nurses he's just being normal. If you snap at them it's… well, it's just what you do. But Tony? No way. Really wrong."

Ziva nodded gloomily. "And he hates me, because of what I did the other night."

Abby stared at her in sympathy for a moment, and then, on impulse, hugged her for a short moment. "Oh Ziva, I'm sure he doesn't hate you. I mean, he snaps at nurses! He'll get over it."

Ziva, recovering from the sudden hug, shrugged and remained silent for a moment. "What if he will not get over it?" she then said quietly.

Abby knew that now Ziva didn't mean Tony's anger at her. She uttered a sorrowful sigh, but then vigorously shook her head. "We can't think like that! It gives Tony a bad vibe. We need to give him a good vibe. He will never give up as long as we don't give up on him."

Ziva gave her a look. "Did Gibbs say that?"

"Yep."

"Is he not worried at all?"

"Ziva! Are you serious?? Gibbs is in agony!"

"So how does he do it, then? Dealing with this."

Abby gazed at her in disbelief, a somehow pitying look in her eyes. She placed a hand on Ziva's shoulder. "The biggest open secret of NCIS, Ziva: Gibbs loves Tony. He is so much like a son to him that Gibbs would do everything for him - like, really everything. Gibbs needs Tony. Tony needs Gibbs. Works like -" she made her two index fingers intertwine "-this."

Ziva nodded impatiently. "I get it. But it does not change what is happening with Tony right now. I mean, just look at him, he…" she broke off, suddenly feeling on the verge of crying again.

"I know." Abby said softly. "Gibbs says it will get better."

Ziva stared doubtfully at her. "You really believe that Gibbs is always right, Abby, yes?"

Abby raised her eyebrows. "Uh, no", she drawled. "I don't believe that Gibbs is always right, but I know that he never breaks a promise. And I think you know it, too."

"So?"

"So? Gibbs promised he would not let Tony give up." Abby said emphatically.

Ziva got lost in her thoughts for a moment. "I guess you are right with what you said about the good… vibe." she finally said. In the next second, she suddenly found herself hugged again. "I'm glad we talked." Abby said sincerely, before she bent down to pick up her plants. "Way to go, Ziva." She winked amicably and then disappeared in Tony's room.

Ziva just stood there for a moment and stared at the door, pondering, and then slowly made her way down the hallway. "Way to go…" she mumbled to herself. "What does «way to go» mean…?" She hadn't heard that idiom before. Shrugging, she decided it probably didn't mean anything important...

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