OK, today, especially for -Tat, a short summary of what happened in the last chapter:

Ziva is visiting Tony and is hurt to see him so helpless and to find out that he is still mad at her. When she confronts him about the latter he reacts very aggressively. ("Sure, one day I'll be immensely thankful for what you did for me that night - one day, when all of this is over – oh, wait! It will never be over! So thanks a lot, Ziva, for NOT making a difference!!"). Ziva tries not to show in front of Tony how much it hurts her to see him like this. After she leaves, she meets Abby, who gets Ziva to open up to her.

Of course there was more, but I suck at summeries, sorry ;)

Here comes the next part (afraid a shorter one), hope you'll like it.

Chapter 9

Two weeks later, not much had changed. Everyone of them went to see Tony almost every day – except for Gibbs, who went home almost every day. To the hospital staff's horror, Ducky's concern and Tony's embarrassment, his life continued to evolve around that hospital room. He left when there was a reason for it, and only then. And such a reason was always connected to what he thought Tony or the team needed. If he had, for instance, a feeling that it was better to give Ziva or McGee or Abby some time alone with Tony. Or when he saw that Tony needed some space for a while. One way or the other, he was always around, never far. Dr. Paxton had gotten used to the fact that Gibbs wanted to talk to him every day, to know exactly how Tony was doing. It didn't seem to matter that on most days there wasn't anything new to tell.

Ziva continued to cry after her visits. It had become a strange routine; going in, acting confident and calm, walking out, feeling drained and despaired. But she had been trying to follow Abby's "good vibe" rule, and partially, it even worked. She kept telling herself that everything would get better and that Tony was strong enough to pull through this. But whether hope or no hope, the thought of what he had lost and seeing the fear in his eyes hurt her more than she would ever have expected. Wasn't she, actually, the one who was supposed to be tough, the one who had seen it all? That had been her part in this team anyway. But all the roles seemed to have shifted now...

A stranger probably would have said that emotionally, not much was wrong with Tony. Except for the occasional snapping at nurses, there was nothing about his behaviour that would have showed his pain openly. As he was getting stronger by the day and didn't need that immense amount of sleep anymore, he was much more alert now. He actually did watch the DVD collections McGee had brought him, or at least pretended to. But the team saw something else: He didn't talk much, was mostly taciturn. He had stopped to smile. Not physically, because of course he did fake a smile when being polite or when trying to make a joke. But these smiles never reached his eyes, and they were seldom enough, too.

McGee was concerned about the teasing. It had stopped, at some point almost completely. As much as Tony's making fun of him had annoyed Tim before, the sudden absence of it now was much worse. Provoking each other, all the time, just had been a part of their friendship, an important one, and above all, they had had fun with it. These dynamics were suddenly broken now, and it left McGee at a loss. He often didn't know how to deal with Tony. Suddenly his partner was nice to him, constantly; polite even. And ironically, that polite part was the one that worried McGee the most and made him feel insecure.

Abby saw Tony walking, all the time. It was a thing she didn't seem able to stop, no matter how hard she tried. Every time she closed her eyes when going to sleep, every time she had a quiet moment in her lab, she saw Tony walking. Or running, or jumping, or jogging. She told Tim about it and he knew exactly what she meant: "Every time I see Tony's desk, this picture of him running after a suspect appears in my head. I don't even remember the case, it must have been a year ago or so. Whatever. It's just that picture. Tony chasing the guy down that long alley, grabbing him, handcuffing him, grinning at Gibbs. I can't shake it off, Abby, I just can't…"

Gibbs stood in the doorway, silently studying his agent. Once more he became a witness of what happened these days when Tony thought that no one was watching. All the masks had slipped away completely and left was the face of a hurt, terrified young man.

Pulling himself out of the pondering, Gibbs straightened himself and stepped into the room.

His sudden appearance startled Tony, making him gasp. "Hey, Boss!" he exclaimed much too cheerfully, and immediately started to cough. Switching abruptly from forcing down a lump in one's throat to yelling out fake enthusiasm did that to a person.

Gibbs quickly walked to Tony's side and took the cup from the tray next to the bed. "Here, drink some water." Sliding his hand under Tony's neck, he helped him lift his head a little. Tony groaned involuntarily when stinging pain shot down his back. After he had taken a few sips of water he averted his eyes in embarrassment. "Sorry." he whispered.

"Don't apologize."

A fake smile passed over Tony's face. "Right. 'Cause it's a sign of weakness."

"No", Gibbs replied gently, "but because sometimes even a federal agent is allowed to be weak."

His words hit Tony completely off guard. Something inside him broke down all at once, and, unable to do something about it, he suddenly had to fight very hard against the tears that were threatening to well up in his eyes.

"It's okay, Tony." Gibbs said softly.

Tony took a very shaky breath and closed his eyes for a moment. One single tear forced its way out from under his eyelid and ran down his temple before it dripped onto the the pillow. "I don't think I can do this, Boss." he then said in a shaky voice.

Gibbs' heart filled with sorrow and fear when he realized what Tony was actually saying. He leaned down and firmly looked Tony in the eyes. "Now you listen to me carefully, DiNozzo, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once.", he whispered intently. "I will not loose you. So you better don't even start thinking that you can't do it. Damn well you can. If anyone can do this, it's you. You're one of the bravest men I've met in my entire life, and I don't care what it takes to get you through this, but: I will not lot loose you. Do you hear me?"

Tony just stared at him and nodded silently, speechless; for one thing because he was too busy taking deep, steady breaths, for another because he could hardly believe what his boss had just said to him.

Gibbs nodded sternly in return and straightened himself to sit on the edge of Tony's bed.

"Thank you, Boss." Tony said hoarsely, when he finally trusted his own voice. Gibbs silently answered with a nod again. Tony had no idea that he, too, was struggling for deep breaths. It wasn't easy; being deeply worried and at the same time being the one person that had to be strong for him.

Tony swallowed hard. "I'm scared as hell, Boss." His voice quavered dangerously and was barely a whisper.

Gibbs bit his lips and gently squeezed Tony's shoulder. "I know." he said softly.

There were no words left to say, and this time, is was more than one tear that escaped from Tony's eyes to drop onto the pillow.

Please don't forget to review :) Thanks

PS: As there seem to be some misunderstandings about Tony's pain, I better explain something. Spinal injuries cause huge amounts of pains. Those pains can vary from patient to patient. Some even experience phantom pains in the body parts they can't feel in reality. A very common kind of pain, however, is back pain (naturally, since it is the spine that is injured), and, especially when the injury is still healing extreme pain up and down the spine. And when I write that Tony feels sharp pains in his spine, then I'm saying nothing more than that he feels pain where he can actually feel it: Remember, he's still got feeling from about the waist up. I'm sorry if what I wrote came off wrong, but I'm afraid Tony's pain is not a sign of a healing process. Complete spinal injuries cannot be cured (yet). Oh and another thing: When Gibbs or Abby talk about "not giving up", it's NOT supposed to mean "not give up until he walks again", but "not giving up on life"...

Sorry again about the confusion, People. Cheers