Thanks again to the five (or so) of you who are actually reading this story and taking the time to review. I very much appreciate it.

Chapter title taken from the song "Thrown Away" by VAST from the album "Nude".

"There's a sun, there's a ground under my feet.

There is almost nothing in between.

Now I'm left like a flag atop a moon..."

-VAST

"EMBRY! EMBRY!"

I stopped my progress down the hallway at school when I heard my name being called. As I turned towards the voice, I slammed into the kid who had been walking behind me.

"Hey, watch where you're going assh-"The kid looked up at me and I saw him take a step back. "Umm, never mind, sorry," he choked out. He quickly stepped around me and hustled down the corridor.

I guess I could have said sorry, but I was more interested in watching Dr. Rybecki come running towards me, his short legs carrying him as quickly as they could.

Dr. Rybecki is the Dean of the Science department at PC. When I had applied to take classes at the community college, the counselor I spoke with had been shocked to learn I wanted to major in Biochemistry. PC isn't known for producing science majors and she had immediately introduced me to Dr. Rybecki who had taken me under his wing – metaphorically speaking as the man was only about five four and came up to my waist – as his own personal prodigy. Dr. Rybecki, aside from being short, was also skinny as a rail. I swear he became invisible if he turned sideways and he had this wild white hair that puffed out in irregular tufts from his skull. He was also mad as a hatter. Don't get me wrong the guy is great and he's been a fantastic mentor to me but seriously, if Crazy was a Kingdom, Dr. Rybecki would wear the crown.

"What's up?" I asked. "Something wrong with the Christmas tree?"

For the past few weeks the Doc and I had been working on building a sodium chloride and water powered stand of multi colored light bulbs using only a magnetic stirrer. We had jokingly starting calling the awkward contraption the Christmas tree.

Dr. Rybecki shook his head no, his hair flying this way and that as he tried to catch his breath. "It came," he finally managed to gasp.

I froze. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Other than Jill, Dr. Rybecki was the only other person who knew I had applied to Caltech. I wasn't holding my breath that I got in or anything, but I still felt a shiver of excitement creep up my spine at his words. "Really?" I croaked. "That was fast."

Dr. Rybecki smiled. "Yeah. It's in my office. You want to go check it out?"

I nodded slowly. When I sent the application in, I had asked that any responses be forwarded to Dr. Rybecki's office at PC, which was the main reason I told him about applying. I didn't want to run the risk of Quil or Seth accidently opening my mail and blabbing their big fat mouth's about what I had been up to. It had been hard enough keeping that information from the pack as it was. I knew the chances of me getting into Caltech were slim to none which was kind of why when Jill had suggested it, I agreed to apply in the first place. I knew I couldn't leave La Push and applying to a school where I was pretty much guaranteed to not get accepted made it a little easier to acknowledge that I wasn't going anywhere.

I trailed Dr. Rybecki down the hallway, my mind going a hundred miles an hour. What would I do if by some small miracle I did get in? No, there was no way I got in. But if I did get in how would I afford it? Maybe if I did get in than I would I be allowed to leave. Doubtful. Not that it mattered because there was no way I got in. My thoughts whirred in a continuous stream as I walked through the door of Dr. Rybecki's office. He bounded around the desk and grabbed up the white envelope addressed to me in his care. It was small. That generally wasn't a good sign. I swallowed hard and with a shaking hand took the envelope from him. I turned it over and over, not quite daring to open it.

"Well?" Dr. Rybecki pressed. "Are you going to open it?"

"Yeah. I was just sort of committing how I feel right now to memory so I can relive this moment of terror in vivid Technicolor."

I looked up at him and then back at the envelope. With still shaking hands I finally ripped it open. "Okay, so here it goes I guess," I murmured.

I pulled out the folded letter, opened it, and read it. And re-read it. And re-read it again. I realized I hadn't taken a breath in over a minute and managed a huge shuddering wheeze before I whispered, "I got in." I let the words sink in when I heard them aloud and then I shouted, "Holy shit I got in!"

Dr. Rybecki gave a whooping cry and ran around the desk. "You did it!" He grabbed my hands and shook them manically. "You did it!"

"I think I need to sit down," I rasped. My heart felt like it was going to pound straight out of my chest. I collapsed into the chair across from his desk and shoved my head between my knees. I was seeing black stars.

Dr. Rybecki snatched my acceptance letter from the floor where it had fallen when he had shaken my hands.

"Embry," he gasped. "You got nearly a full scholarship!" He shook the letter triumphantly into the air.

"I saw that," I said, slowly sitting up. I still couldn't quite believe it myself.

"Embry, this is fantastic. We have to inform the Dean. We have to inform the President. We have to inform everyone."

I jumped up from the chair, bringing the celebration to a screeching halt. "Doc, we can't tell anyone."

Dr. Rybecki stopped bouncing on the balls of his feet and gave me a confused look. "What do you mean we can't tell anyone?"

"I just, I have to figure some things out. See, it's different on the rez. I can't just pack up and move. I have to discuss it with the elders."

In this case substitute 'elders' with 'Alpha wolf'.

"Well surely they'll let you go. I mean you got a scholarship that pays for almost eighty percent of your tuition. Who would pass up an opportunity like that?"

I gave him a despondent smile. "You'd be surprised," I said. I took my acceptance letter from his hands and slowly folded it. After it was a small square, I shoved it into my pants pocket. "Just promise me you won't say anything to anyone okay?"

Dr. Rybecki shook his head. "Embry, you are the first student in Peninsula history to get accepted to Caltech. This is momentous."

"Yeah I know, but…..just promise me, please?"

Dr. Rybecki sank into his chair and scratched his head. "Yes, alright, I won't say anything for now, but Embry, I don't think this is something that's going to stay under wraps for very long."

"Thanks Doc. Look, I have to get to class. We'll talk about this later, okay?"

"Sure, sure. Don't forget, we're working on the Christmas tree Friday."

I smiled. "Looking forward to it."

I grabbed my backpack from the floor and made my way out of his office. As soon as I was in the hallway I stopped and sagged against the wall. I reached into my pocket and felt the folded up piece of paper that was the key to my entire future. I knew that this little square was about to change everything.

"Hey Jake. You know how I've always wanted to go away to school? Well now I can. No, that sucks. Okay. Hey Jake. You won't believe this. I got accepted to Caltech and I really want to go, so can I? No that's stupid, God!"

I paced around my small bedroom as I talked aloud. I had to come up with just the right way to start my conversation with Jacob. Maybe he would let me go. It's not like he really needs me. Quil sure as hell isn't going anywhere and Seth still has another year of high school. Leah… well who the hell knew what was up with Leah, but she wasn't leaving anytime soon. Plus it wasn't like Sam and the rest of those guys weren't around too. Would losing one wolf really make that much of a difference?

"CALL! YOU HERE?"

I heard Jacob come into the house. I took a deep breath and counted to ten. I released my breath slowly and then made my way out of my room to meet him.

"Hey, Jake," I said quietly.

Jacob glanced at his watch. "I literally have like five minutes before I have to leave, so can we make this quick?"

I nodded. "Sure, sure thing." I stood and pondered for a moment.

Jacob stared at me and then made a face. "Well?"

"Well, okay." I opened my mouth. Then I closed it again and shook my head. I had to say this in just the right way.

"Embry, sometime today," Jacob said.

"Right, yes sorry. I'm just trying to think of the best way to say this."

"Just spit it out man, I'm on a time constraint."

I nodded. "Okay. Remember that movie we watched a few months ago. The one that was on Showtime? The one about the army guy who fell in love with that chick and then he got killed?"

Jacob frowned. "Vaguely," he said.

"Okay, well remember when we were watching it, and then the army guy goes into the chick's dressing room and he starts making out with her and then he stops all the sudden and puts his hand over his mouth and gets that look of abject horror on his face and he leaves and then the chick opens her robe and has a package, and we all like flipped out because we just couldn't process the utter non-sequitur nature of what had just happened?" I was rambling, but I couldn't stop myself. "Do you remember that?"

"Dude, what in the hell are you talking about?" Jacob was staring at me like I had a screw loose.

"What I'm about to ask you? This is our proverbial 'chick has a dick' moment here, okay?"

Jacob held up his hands. "You need to start making sense like immediately. Are you trying to tell me you're gay or something?"

"No, what I'm saying is….wait, what? No, I'm not gay! Have I ever given you any indication that I might be gay?" His question had caught me off guard.

Jacob gave me a thoughtful look. "Well…..you do like that home makeover show a lot….and there is your love of chick rock."

"And that makes me gay?" I knew I was getting off topic, but I mean- what the hell.

"Embry, you're rambling about chicks with dicks. What am I supposed to think?"

"Not that I'm gay!" I spat.

"Well what are you trying to say then?" Jacob looked totally lost.

I took a deep breath and then blurted out, "I want to go to school."

"You are going to school," Jacob said slowly.

"No, I mean I want to go away to school."

Jacob bit his lip. "Em, we've talked about this. It's not the best time to be thinking about going away."

"Well, you have Quil, Seth, and Leah. It's not like you need me-"

"That's not true," Jacob interjected. "I do need you. I need you here."

"But what if I got accepted to a school that isn't here?" I asked quietly. "What then?" I fingered the folded up square in my pocket as I spoke.

Jacob took a deep breath before he spoke. "I'd say that right now it's not a good time. I'd say defer for a year and we can talk about this again in a few months."

"So that's it?" I asked. "That's the end of the conversation? Subject closed?"

"For now, yes. I mean it's not like you've applied anywhere anyway. You've been doing fine at PC. I mean you still have a year left there to get your associates before you think of going somewhere else anyway right?"

"Right," I said pensively. "So what you're saying is that right now, if I were to say have gotten accepted into a school that was out of state, I couldn't go. That's what you're saying."

Jacob nodded slowly. "Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Look Em, I know you want to go away to school and I think that's great. But right now you need to be here. I'm sorry but for now the matter is closed." He paused for a moment and leveled a curious look at me. "You haven't applied anywhere, have you?"

I shook my head. "No, I was just you know…..testing the waters is all. It was just a hypothetical question," I lied.

"Okay then." Jacob glanced at his watch again. "I have to go. We can talk about this again in a few months, sound good?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I said absent-mindedly.

"All right, I'll see you later. Don't forget, you and Leah are on patrol tonight. Sam is going to have Jared, Paul, and Collin at the north end, so you guys take the south. Make sure to call me when you get back."

"I'll call," I whispered.

Jacob patted me on the shoulder. "Later."

I gave him a halfhearted wave. After he was gone, I sank onto the sofa and closed my eyes. I could feel tears burning, but I refused to let them fall. It was no big deal. I could defer for a year. Of course one year would probably turn into two, and two into three, and eventually I would wake up and realize that no matter what I did, I was never, ever leaving. And just like that, I accepted it. I was never leaving. I stood up abruptly and pulled the letter out of my pocket. I opened it up and read it one last time. Then I methodically tore it in half again and again until it was nothing but small pieces of confetti in my hands. I was never leaving. I tossed the tiny pieces of paper into the trash can and watched as my one chance of leaving La Push fell into the garbage, the paper raining down like a sad ticker tape fanfare celebrating the end of my future.

"Quil!"

"What?"

"Could you just pick a channel and go with it please?"

"Man, what's got your panties in a twist?"

I was sprawled out on the living room sofa. Not that I would apologize to Seth for trying to keep him from bringing this ugly ass sofa into the house, but I have to say, I have fallen in love with its marshmallow like cushions. And considering I had barely moved from its loving arms in two days, I was grateful for the comfort. Quil was sitting in one of our "new" recliners. Seth and Quil had garbage picked the matching recliners a couple of weeks ago. They now took up residence on either end of the couch.

"Nothing, it's just that you're going to give me a seizure if you keep flipping through the channels like that," I said with a sigh.

Quil made a face but began flipping through the channels at a slower pace, which I guess was something.

"OH! Soap network is having a Beverly Hills 90210 marathon. My weekend's set," Quil crowed gleefully.

I arched an eyebrow at him. "You need a life stat," I informed him.

He waved a dismissive hand at me. "Check it out, this is the fifth season. This is when that Ray guy started hitting Donna."

I sat up. "You know, not that I condone domestic violence of any sort, but if anybody needed to get pushed down a flight of stairs, it was Donna Martin. God she was annoying."

Quil frowned at me. "That's not very nice, Embry," he said reproachfully. "Donna was just misunderstood is all. I mean, she has feelings too."

"Dude, she's a character on a TV show," I said. "She doesn't actually have feelings."

"Okay, that's where we go our separate ways. Just because she's fictional, doesn't mean we shouldn't care."

"Wow, could we not talk about this anymore? I don't feel the need to argue about the virtues of a character on a show that hasn't existed for ten years."

"Whatever, you're just pissed because for once you're not getting the last word in. I know how much that drives you nuts," Quil grinned.

I just lay back down on the couch. Though he was right, I hate to lose an argument, I wasn't in the mood to have to delve into my repertoire of witty ripostes. I hadn't been in the mood for anything since my dream – as unrealistic as it was – had been crushed like a bug under Jacob's big fat foot. I hate to say it, because I usually try to be the bigger person, but I was feeling pretty darn sorry for myself. I could practically feel the imaginary sign slung around my neck that read: WELCOME TO SELF PITYVILLE, POPULATION: ME. I was just in the process of putting myself into an Edward Gorey story – E is for Embry whose soul just got pared – when the pounding on our door jerked me out of my pity party.

Emily stormed through the door without waiting for an answer and stomped over to stand in front of the couch. Her face was flushed with rage.

"I think we're going to need a bigger boat," I said out of the side of my mouth to Quil.

"EMBRY! What is this?" Emily shouted.

I spread my arms in a grand gesture. "Well it looks like a normal house, but you have in fact stumbled into the mouth of hell."

"Embry, damn it, I'm serious," she snarled.

I gave her an innocent look. "What?"

"What do you mean what? You specifically told me the other day that you would show up for dinner tonight at your mother's house with me and Sam. And yet here you are lying around all alone doing nothing!"

I pointed at Quil. "I'm not alone. I have Quil. And Donna Martin. She has feelings you know."

"It's true," Quil said.

Emily sank into Seth's recliner and sighed heavily. "Embry, you promised you were going to make an effort with your mother."

"That was all hearsay," I said.

"Yeah, and here I am saying it!" Emily snapped.

"Well why do you care so much anyway?" I shouted.

Emily looked at me, but didn't say anything.

I shook my head slowly with dawning comprehension. "You know, don't you?" I accused her.

Emily glanced at Quil. "Quil, can you give us a minute?" She said quietly.

"Yeah, sure." Quil flipped the TV off and made a beeline out the front door, closing it behind him.

I sat up and scowled at Emily. "So it's official then? I'm a Uley? How long have you known?"

"Embry, you should really talk about this with your moth-"

"HOW LONG?"

"Almost a year," Emily said with a sigh.

I jumped up. "Almost a year? How could you have kept this from me for a whole year?"

"It wasn't my place to tell you, Embry," Emily said.

"So all those dinners? What were those, pity the bastard half-brother dinners?"

"No, of course not! I just wanted to take care of you! You're my family!"

"Well I hate to introduce you to the concept of reality, but Joshua Uley and anyone related to him is no family of mine! Just because he was my sperm donor that doesn't make him my father! And it doesn't make Sam my brother! So why don't you do us both a favor and trot right back on over to my mother's house and tell her that I'm not coming to dinner tonight or any other night!"

I tried to storm out, but Emily grabbed my wrist. "Embry, please. This isn't your mother's fault any more than its Sam's fault. Don't punish them for your father's mistakes."

I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. I could feel myself trembling and the last thing I wanted was to phase. After I felt a little calmer I said, "You know what? It doesn't even matter anymore. I mean this is just one more thing piled on top of the ever mounting jumble of shit that is my life."

"Embry, your mom just wanted to spare you," Emily said softly.

I nodded my head. "Yes she just wanted to spare me. Which I'm sure is true, but only if 'spare me' is another way of saying 'lied to me'. Then yes, she 'spared me'."

"Well what would you have done differently if you had known? It's not like the man is around. He abandoned Sam's family too, remember?"

"Oh so what, I should feel better because he abandoned his real family too?"

"That's not what I'm saying! I mean look at how great you turned out! Look at how great Sam turned out! Neither of you needed him! And your mom, she was there for you every step of the way! And what you're going to throw your entire relationship with her away over a man who never cared about anyone but himself? Get real, Embry. You have a right to be pissed that she didn't tell you, yes, but she has been damn good to you and it's not right to keep treating her like she doesn't matter!"

I flopped back onto the sofa. "Look, I just need some time to process all this, okay? I mean it's been a really crappy couple of days for me, and I really don't want to even get into a discussion with you or my mother about this enlightening revelation, because honestly, I might not be able to control myself and the last thing I need is for someone to get hurt, know what I'm saying?"

Emily stood up. "I understand. Look, I'm going to tell your mother you weren't feeling good and that's why you didn't come. I'm not going to tell her that you know. That's up to you. But promise me you'll talk to her. Please?"

"I will," I said quietly.

Emily leaned over and kissed my cheek. "You're a good kid, Embry. Don't let this get you down. Sam and I will always be here for you, okay? I want you to know that."

"Yeah, I know." I watched her leave, and then slumped back into the cushions of the couch. I think it was safe to say that my brain was officially on overload. I had always had a suspicion that Joshua Uley was my father, but to have it confirmed, to actually know the truth, was a bit unsettling. I really wasn't sure how I felt about this new information. I figured the best thing I could do right now was ruminate on the situation for a while.

"I saw Emily leave," Quil announced, stepping through the front door. He took in my dejected look and chewed on his lip. "You want to talk about it?"

I looked up at him. "You heard huh?"

Quil nodded. "Yeah sorry. I know it's none of my business, but I only went to the end of the driveway so I kind of heard everything."

I shrugged. "It's okay. I'm sure you're relived to know it wasn't your dad."

Quil sat down in his recliner and gave me a hard look. "I wouldn't have cared. I mean you've always been my brother."

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks man that means a lot."

"Does this mean you're going to stop making me the butt of all your sarcastic comments?"

I snorted. "Get real."

Quil laughed, but almost immediately his face turned serious again. "I mean it you know. If you want to talk about it…well you know I've got your back."

"I'm not quite ready yet. But thanks for the offer."

"Sure thing." He grabbed the remote and flipped the TV back on.

I suddenly felt exhausted. I found myself fighting to keep my eyes open. As the familiar strains of the Beverly Hills 90210 theme song kicked in, I lost the battle and slipped into a restless sleep.

Despite my promise to Emily, it had been three weeks and I still hadn't spoken to my mother. Maybe Sam had been right when he told me I avoided situations that made me uncomfortable, because that was exactly what I had been doing. I avoided my mother and I even skipped out on dinners at the Uley house. I went to work, I went to school, I patrolled, I hung out with Jill, but I felt like I was just going through the motions. Between the disappointment of Caltech and my discussion with Jacob, and the new revelation about my father, I think I was just sort of shell shocked.

It was almost funny. All the time I had spent being angry with my mother for lying to me and wanting desperately to be able to confront her about who my father was seemed a distant memory. Now the very idea of having that conversation filled me with a dread that followed me around like a black rain cloud, hovering over me, its thunder and lightning licking at my head, daring me to just try and rid myself of the torment I was feeling.

Jill could sense something was up, but had had the good grace to not bug me about it. Until today that is. It was Thursday afternoon. I only have class until ten on Thursdays, so it had become a sort of ritual for me to head over to Jill's house after school. Her dad golfed on Thursdays and her mom had some sort of bridge club thing. The housekeeper generally didn't show up until three so we always had the whole place to ourselves.

"So have you heard anything from Caltech?" She tried to sound casual, but I could sense the underlying excitement in her voice.

I paused in counting the number of riding ribbons –one hundred and seven thus far – bedecking Jill's bedroom walls and turned over in the bed to face her. "Huh?"

"Caltech. Have you heard anything about the application you submitted?" Jill sat up, trying to subdue the look of eagerness on her face.

I slowly shook my head. "Umm, no. No I haven't heard anything yet." In truth, I had already told Dr. Rybecki that I wasn't going to accept the scholarship I had received. He had been extremely disappointed, but had also forced me to send a deferral letter, which I had grudgingly mailed the week before.

Jill's face fell and she frowned. "Nothing?"

"Well, I mean it's only been a month. Those things take time," I said.

"Maybe you should call, you know? Just to check on the status of your application," she suggested.

"Maybe I will," I replied absently. I picked at a loose thread in her comforter and dropped my gaze to avoid her seeing the look of guilt I was wearing.

"You should. That way you'll be front and center in their minds when they're making a decision."

"You trying to get rid of me or something?" I asked, my tone harsher than I intended.

"Why would you say that?" Jill snapped.

"I don't know, you just seem really interested in getting me out of the state."

"Don't be ridiculous! I just want to see you succeed."

I sighed. "Look, I'm just cranky. Can we drop this for now?"

"Fine, whatever," Jill muttered.

I rolled back over and stared at the ceiling. I didn't know why, but suddenly I was in a foul mood. I was just about to tell Jill I had to leave, when she spoke again.

"So when am I going to get to hang out at your place?"

"Hmm?" I looked over at her again.

Jill rolled her eyes. "You heard me, how come we never go to your house. Are you ashamed of me or something?"

I contemplated that thought for a moment. "No. I'm not ashamed of you," I finally replied.

"Took you long enough to answer that one," Jill said wryly. "So if I don't embarrass you, why haven't I met any of your friends? Or ever been to your house? Or met your parents? I mean we've been dating for almost three months. I think it's about time I get to meet some of your people."

I pursed my lips and tried to think of a really good answer for all her questions. I wasn't embarrassed by her, I knew that, yet I still wasn't sure why I felt such a hesitation to introduce her to my friends. I guess maybe the reason was that I was more embarrassed for myself than for her. I mean she lives in a house that I would not hesitate to describe as a mansion. I on the other hand live in a cramped house on an Indian reservation. Not exactly the stuff dreams are made of. I wasn't ready to share my fear that if she saw where I came from, who I really was, she'd take off leaving a Jill shaped hole in the wall a la Bugs Bunny. So I lied.

"Well it's just that there are rules you know?"

"Rules?" Jill gave me a questioning look.

"Yeah, you know, tribe rules," I said emphatically. "See no one who isn't Quileute is really allowed on the reservation. You know sacred lands and all that."

"Umm, Embry. You have the Quileute Resort right there. People that aren't Quileute stay there all the time."

Damn it. I forgot about that stupid resort. "Oh well…..yeah. Well you know it's just that I have roommates. They're both so lame they never go anywhere so you know, we'd never be alone."

"So?"

"So I like being alone with you. We couldn't do alone stuff with Quil and Seth hanging around all the time." I paused. "Well I guess we could, but it would kind of squick me out. I mean there are just some things that should be kept private." I tried to pull her to me in an effort to get her to drop the subject, but she squirmed out of my grasp.

"What's the deal?" She said, giving me a serious look.

"There's no deal," I said slowly.

"Embry, I'm serious. Either give it to me straight, or you won't be giving it to me at all."

I sighed and figured I'd better tell her the truth or I'd never hear the end of it. I was already crabby and I wasn't in the mood to have her nagging me.

"Okay, you know that whole 'wrong side of the tracks' expression?"

Jill nodded. "Sure."

"Okay, well let me put it to you this way. My place basically looks like it is so far on the wrong side of the tracks that it pretty much exists on an expanse of land where locomotive travel has not yet been invented."

Jill laughed. "You think I care what your house looks like?" She asked, amusement in her voice.

I glanced around her room that was so large, I was pretty sure most of my house would fit inside it with room to spare. "Umm, you live in a house that has four fireplaces and more rooms than you people know what to do with. My house has duct tape holding the kitchen light fixture together because the wiring is shot and we're all too lazy to fix it."

"So?"

I stared at her. "So?" I repeated.

"Yeah, so! Who cares if your house is small? I don't care. It sounds like you care more than I do."

I frowned. "Well it's a little embarrassing is all."

"Embry, if I cared about you having money I would have been long gone by now. I like you for you. Not what you have. Can you say the same?"

"What? Of course I can. I don't care about your money. I just don't like to feel inferior because I'm poor."

Jill gave me a surprised look. "Do you think I make you feel inferior?" She asked.

I shrugged. "Sometimes."

"HOW?" She shrieked.

"I don't know." I sat up quickly. "Maybe because you kind of always talk about money."

Jill gasped. "I don't always talk about money!"

I threw off the sheet I had been laying under and jumped up. "Actually you kind of do. And now with pushing me about college because you want me to 'suceed'. Are you sure you just aren't looking for me to get a degree so I'll be able to get a better job so that I make more money?"

"Oh my God!" Jill jumped up too. "Where the hell is this coming from?"

"From you." I stated matter of factly. "I mean no offense but maybe if you took two seconds to look out one of the windows of your currency papered ivory tower you'd see that some of us aren't rich. Did you ever even stop to think that maybe I can't afford to go away to college?"

"Well, no, but-"

"But what? You just proved my point right there."

Jill stuffed her hands on her hips and glared at me. "Okay, maybe I talk about money a little bit but-"

I snorted.

She frowned. "All right, more than a little bit. I'm sorry, all right? I just….I'm just used to having it. That doesn't mean that I care if you have money! I mean, God Embry. When have I ever looked down at you for anything? Never!"

I sighed and dropped my eyes, my big toe drawing a circular pattern on the plush carpeting. "That's true, I guess," I muttered.

"So just because you're insecure and intimidated by the fact that I have money, that still doesn't excuse why you haven't introduced me to any of your friends. Or your parents. I mean you've met my friends and I'd be more than happy to introduce you to my family if you could ever be bothered."

That rubbed me the wrong way. I felt a familiar prickling sensation on the back of my neck. It reminded me distinctly of the way my fur stood on end when I was in wolf form and in the presence of a leech. I knew now that I had just been looking to pick a fight with her. "Jesus, it's not like we're getting married. Why are you so hung up on me meeting your parents? Oh and post script, I don't appreciate being called insecure."

"Well you're acting like it. And I'm not hung up about you meeting my parents," Jill protested.

"So then what's the problem here?" I snapped.

"Why are you getting so bent out of shape? I just thought it would be nice to meet the friends you've told me about, or even meet your mom and dad."

I gave a hearty laugh laced heavily with bitterness. "Tell you what. You find out where my father is, you let me know."

That gave Jill pause. I had never talked to her about my whole father situation. I knew it wasn't fair to throw that in her face, but the side of me that was getting more and more pissed didn't care.

"You don't know where your father is?" She asked quietly.

"Nope. Never met the man and I don't care to."

"How can you say that?" Jill was looking at me, her face filled with concern.

That made me even angrier. I didn't need anyone's pity. I had been just fine without a father for twenty years.

"Because my 'father' never cared enough to know me, to take responsibility for me, so why should I care about him?"

Jill frowned. "But don't you want to know-"

"Why?" I interrupted. "I've gotten along splendidly without ever seeing him. What would change if I met him? Nothing. That's what. He'd still be the guy that was married to someone else when he knocked my mother up and never owned up to it."

"Yeah, but I mean….if you knew where he was you could maybe try to have a relationship with him."

I grunted. "Oh yeah," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "I can just see it now. I meet my dad. We indulge in some male bonding. Then one day over a few beers I'll look at my dad on the shores of the Quillayute River, clap him on the shoulder and say 'Gee dad, I'm so glad we have a relationship'."

Jill shook her head, disgust on her face. "You can be a real asshole sometimes, you know that?"

I sighed. "Yes. I do know that."

Jill bit her lip. I could see her eyes were shiny with tears, and I suddenly felt like the world's biggest heel.

"Maybe you should just go," she whispered.

My anger flared up again. "Fine," I spat, tossing my hands in the air. I snatched my clothes off the floor. "I'll let myself out."

I stormed out of her room, slamming the door behind me. Once outside her room, I leaned heavily against the closed door. I could hear Jill quietly crying and closed my eyes. God, I really was an asshole. I probably needed to go back in there and apologize for being such a prick. I hurriedly pulled on my clothes. As I was tugging on my shoes, Jill's bedroom door suddenly opened and I stumbled back a couple of steps

"You forgot your book bag," she said coldly as she dumped my bag at my feet.

"Hey," I said softly. "I'm really sorry, okay?"

Jill shook her head. "Sorry's not going to cut it this time, Embry. You've been acting like a complete jerk for weeks now and today you were downright monstrous. I don't deserve it and quite frankly, I'm sick of it." She slammed the door in my face.

I sighed and reached down for my bag. I shuffled away from her room and made my way down the spiral staircase into the large foyer. I stood there for a moment, looking forlornly back up the stairs. I could still hear Jill crying and it took everything I had to not run back up to her room and beg on hands and knees for forgiveness. However, I also knew that with the mood I was in, I could also potentially make the situation even worse. Even though I felt pretty crappy about being a jackass, treating her like dirt, and making her cry, I just didn't have it in me to go back upstairs. Instead I walked out the front door, Jill's sobs still ringing in my ears.