Chapter title taken from the song "I Don't Have Anything" by VAST from the album "Music for People".

"I've been stripped of everything, except the flesh that bleeds

And I've been robbed of everything, except the soul that needs

You, sweet you."

-VAST

"It's official," I announced as I stormed through the door of my house. "I am the biggest Jerk in Jerkonia."

Quil and Seth were sitting in their recliners watching TV and as I stopped in front of them, they both gave me irritated looks.

"Hey, hey," Quil said as he made a shooing motion with his hand.

I glanced at the TV and sighed. "Really? Again with this show?"

Quil and Seth had been getting into reality TV something fierce lately. Their newest obsession was 'America's Got Talent'. Our DVR was cluttered with every episode ever made of that stupid show. At least it wasn't Beverly Hills 90210 though.

"Dude, there was a guy on here who drilled up his nose," Quil informed me, his voice filled with awe.

"Drilled? With the power tool drilled?"

Seth nodded. "It was completely disgusting and yet I was transfixed."

"I'm sorry but seriously, this show is more pointless than a box of unsharpened pencils," I said.

"It's not pointless," Quil defended. "There's a million bucks at stake and you're blocking it so move."

I sighed, tossed my bag onto the floor and threw myself onto the sofa.

Seth turned his chair to look at me. "So why are you such a jerk?"

"No reason," I muttered, not in the mood to talk about the fight I had just had with Jill.

Seth nodded. "Okay." He then began looking around the room exaggeratedly.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked.

"Oh, just looking for something," He answered continuing his ridiculous sweep of the room.

"For what?"

"Like maybe your ability to lie convincingly, because I just don't see that around here anywhere." Seth grinned at his clever pun.

I rolled my eyes and pointed at Seth. "Funny police arrest that man."

Seth shrugged. "Whatever." He turned his attention back to the TV.

After a moment of silence I broke. "Fine. I had a fight with that girl I've been seeing." I told him.

"Oh yes, the imaginary girlfriend," Seth said.

"She's not imaginary," I retorted.

"Then why haven't we met her?" Seth asked.

"Because!" I snapped.

"Would you chill out! It's obvious you like this girl a lot, so I don't understand why you're being so secretive about her. We don't even know her name. Believe me I've tried picking around in your brain but lately your thoughts have been locked up tighter than a bank's security vault."

I looked at him a moment then said quietly, "Jill. Her name is Jill."

Seth nodded. "Well there's no Jill on the rez that I know of. Is she Makah?"

I shook my head. "No. She's white."

"Ohhhh," Seth said slowly a look of dawning comprehension on his face. "Is that why you don't want us to meet her? You think we care that she's white?"

I made a face. "Of course not."

"I didn't think so. Well then what's the problem?" Seth gave me a genuinely confused look.

"It's just that she's….." I trailed off.

"She's what?" Quil entered the conversation. "Fat? Ugly? What?"

"No!" I barked. After another moment's hesitation I finally said, "She's rich."

Quil clicked his tongue at me. "Niiiice."

I glowered. "Yeah nice for her maybe. I mean you should see her house. Can you imagine what she'd think if she came here and saw our place?"

"Hey!" Quil said indignantly. "What's wrong with our place? I happen to like it just fine."

"Of course you do. You've never lived in a four story mansion. Jill does. This whole house can practically fit into her bedroom!"

Seth frowned. "So what is it? You're worried that if she comes out here, she'll dump you because you don't have money? I mean doesn't she already know you don't have money?"

I rubbed my face with the palms of my hands. "Yes, she knows I don't have money," I sighed.

"I don't get it. She knows you don't have money and wants to date you anyway. I'm sorry Em, I just don't see what the problem is here."

"The problem Seth, is that if she comes out here, then it's real, you know? She'll realize this 'date the poor guy' thing is just a phase and then she'll break up with me."

"Wow," Seth breathed. He gave me a fascinated look. "You're in love with her aren't you?"

"What? No! What?" I sputtered.

"Dude, it's obvious. You love her and you're afraid that she's just sort of testing the waters to see what it's like to date someone like you. You're afraid that if she sees where you really come from, she'll get over her 'slumming', turn on her heel and jump into the arms of some country club boy."

I exhaled slowly. "I honestly don't know if I love her. I know I care about her….but love? I mean she's pretty great….I don't know. Maybe that's the case," I finally conceded quietly.

Seth shook his head. "Man, if that is the case, then she wasn't worth loving in the first place."

"Maybe not."

"Well you won't know until you take the chance," Seth said gently. "Or maybe you're afraid to take the chance because of the whole imprinting thing."

I stared at him for a moment. In that second I realized that he was completely right. I had been blaming my bad mood on not being able to go to Caltech and my father situation. But that wasn't really it at all. I was terrified that one of two things would happen. Either Jill was going to leave me and I wouldn't have anything at all - no school, no family, no girlfriend - I would be utterly and completely alone and miserable, or I would imprint and hurt Jill even more than I already had. Jill was the last good thing I had going for me and I was treating her like dirt. I was anticipating that she would leave me or that I would have to leave her, so subconsciously I was trying to make it happen. That way, when it did happen, I'd be prepared. God I was a complete and utter moron.

"You know," Seth said. "You can't live your life in fear of imprinting. I mean it isn't logical to never have any relationships at all. You'll just end up a bitter. We all would. We just have to live our lives and hope no one gets hurt in the process."

"When did you become this sage giver of advice?" I grumped at Seth. I hate it when anyone besides myself is right.

Seth gave me a smile. "It's just a gift I have, what can I say?"

I made a face. "Hey, have you recovered from that broken leg yet?" I asked. "You know the one you got when you fell down trying to get over yourself."

Seth laughed. "Make fun all you want. You're just pissed because I hit the nail on the head."

"Yeah, you did," I admitted.

Seth stood up, a triumphant look on his face. "My work here is done. Now if you gentlemen would excuse me, I have a date."

"Really? With who?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

"Maddy Blue." Quil piped up with a smirk.

"No kidding," I said, impressed. "How'd you manage that?"

Maddy was a local girl. She was drop dead gorgeous and knew it. She rarely dated guys on the rez, so I was pretty stunned that Seth managed to get her to go out with him.

"I used the old Clearwater charm," Seth gave me a wink.

Quil rolled his eyes. "He said the same thing he always says," he informed me.

"What that beautiful thing he stole from that TV show?" I asked.

"Yep," Quil nodded.

"Huh. Well you throw that line at enough girls it's bound to stick eventually." I said.

"And stick it did, I mean I got a date with Maddy Blue," Seth said arrogantly.

"Yeah. I guess that means you'll have your 'What I Did This Summer' essay all ready for when school starts," I grinned.

Seth gave me a withering look then glanced down at himself. "Now, what do you guys think? Should I lose the shirt?"

I gave Seth the once over. He was wearing a black polo shirt and a pair of tan cargo shorts. "No, you shouldn't lose the shirt. I think you should burn it. Because I mean if you lose it…..you might find it again."

Seth scowled. "Very funny. And after all the help I just gave you."

"I'm kidding man, you look good," I said with a laugh.

"Damn right I do," Seth said with a nod. "Oh and Quil, you know that breath you've been holding waiting for me to get a date? Yeah you can let that out now, jackass. I'll see you losers later." With that, he strutted out of the house.

I shook my head still laughing. After a moment, I looked over at Quil. "So what are your plans for this evening?"

Quil glanced over at me, and then returned his attention to the TV screen. "Emily's bringing Claire over in a little bit."

I cringed.

Quil noticed and sighed. "Look, I know she can be a handful, but she's Claire, you know?"

"I know," I exhaled resignedly.

After my fight with Jill and the fact that I had a ton of homework to do that I had been putting off, not to mention the fact that I had been avoiding Emily for three weeks, the last thing I needed was a screaming five year old running around the house.

"It's fine, man, I'll just go to the library." I fished around next to the couch and snagged my backpack.

"The where?" Quil asked, still distracted by the ridiculous talent show.

"The library," I said slowly enunciating each syllable. "You can find it in the white pages under 'Library' or in the yellow pages under the equally elusive 'Libraries'."

Quil gave me a hurt look. "You know, sometimes those smartass comments you make at my expense hit me so hard they leave marks."

He looked so dejected I actually felt kind of bad.

I stood up and patted him on the head. "I'm sorry buddy. I'm just tired. Ignore me."

Quil pushed my hand off his head. "Don't touch me." He pouted and slouched down in his chair. I was about to apologize again when suddenly his entire demeanor changed. He shot out of his chair like a rocket, a goofy smile plastered on his face. "Claire's here," he said.

I glanced outside but didn't see anything. A moment later though Emily's car pulled into our small driveway.

"That's creepy the way you do that," I told him.

Quil didn't respond. He bounced out the front door, TV entirely forgotten, and over to the car, quickly retrieving Claire from her car seat. She squealed with glee when Quil scooped her up in a hug.

I walked out the door after him, my bag slung over my shoulder. Emily was coming up the walk towards me, a scowl on her face.

"So you are still alive, huh?"

"I'm sorry. I know I haven't been over lately."

"You've been completely avoiding us, Embry," Emily accused.

"I said I was sorry!"

"Look, I know you're upset, but don't push everyone away."

I gave her an apologetic smile. "I'll come over next week, okay?"

"You better!" Emily snapped.

"I will! I promise."

"All right then." She nodded at my bag and keys. "What, leaving so soon?" she asked, a knowing look on her face.

I nodded. "I'd run away screaming, but it's been a long day."

Emily laughed. "Oh come on, Embry. Claire's rambunctious but you have to love her."

My nose wrinkled involuntarily. "Let me try to put this as succinctly as possible, I'm not really a kid person."

"No kidding?" Emily said mockingly. "I never would have guessed."

I just shrugged. "Hey, at least I'm honest." I jumped off the small porch and headed towards my truck that was parked on the road in front of our house. "Later, Quil!" I threw over my shoulder.

"Later," Quil called with a wave. Apparently his grievance with me was forgotten in the presence of his imprint.

As I drove towards the Library in Forks, my mind continued to replay my conversation with Seth. I can't believe I had been so blind about my reasoning for pushing Jill away. I glanced at the clock on my dashboard. It was still early enough. Without looking, I jerked the truck into a U-turn. I ignored the honks and shouts of the other drivers and pointed my truck towards Port Angeles.

Jill's horses were boarded at Olympic View Stables. When I had finally gotten to her house, the housekeeper – after an interrogation which established that I was in fact not a serial killer- informed me that Jill had gone to the barn, so I had immediately driven to Olympic View to see her. I headed towards what looked like the main barn area and walked inside. The barn was dark and cool. I was hit with an overwhelming array of smells as I entered. Horses, manure, sawdust, hay, and leather, all mixed to form a heady scent that wasn't entirely unpleasant. I walked down the aisle of the barn. Curious heads poked over stall doors as I passed. I could tell right away that some of the horses knew I wasn't entirely human and took exception to my presence because several of them gave shrill whinnies and others rolled their eyes in a slight panic. It was almost amusing to watch as the row of heads ducked back into their stalls as I walked by, the effect akin to seeing a crowd doing the wave during a baseball game.

I read the stall nameplates as I made my way down the aisle, each one naming the horse – some horses had two names which I didn't quite understand – and their owner. I finally found a stall that had Jill's name on it and stopped. The nameplate read 'Lost in the Fog "Challenger" Owned by Jillian Reilly'. I glanced over the stall door and saw her.

Jill was crouched down near the horse's front leg, rubbing it with something that smelled strongly of alcohol and mint. Her back was to me as she worked and I watched her for a few moments as she massaged the horse's leg. The horse took notice of me and snorted loudly, startling me. He shifted nervously, but with a few soothing words from Jill, settled down. He was a large horse and I felt a little intimidated by him. He had some white marks on his face, but otherwise the rest of his muscular body was a brown so dark he looked almost black.

"You need something?" Jill suddenly said.

I jumped because I didn't realize she knew I was there. "Huh?" I said stupidly.

"You need something?" She repeated, her tone not in the least bit friendly.

"Oh, umm, I didn't think you heard me. I thought I was being all stealthy." I gave an uncomfortable laugh.

Jill turned to look at me for the first time and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're a regular ninja." She stood up and rubbed her palms on the thighs of her riding pants. "I'll ask again. Do you need something?"

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you. To apologize. To explain why I've been acting like a total prick for the last few weeks." I looked at her imploringly. "Will you hear me out? Please?"

Jill sighed and reached up to absently scratch the horse under his mane. "Why should I?" She said after a moment.

I looked down at the stall door and ran my fingers over Jill's name engraved on the metal plate. "Because I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to be such an ass. Sometimes I can't help it. And I kind of care about you," I said.

"You 'kind of' care about me? What's that mean? You kind of care about me but kind of don't?" Jill said. Her voice had a trace of irritation in it.

"No. I do. I mean, not kind of, but, yeah." Oh boy.

Jill stared at me. "What?" She finally said in confusion.

"I don't mean no, well no to the question but not no as the answer." I stopped, took a deep breath, and held up a finger. "Let me start over. I do care about you. A lot. And I've been really horrible to you and you don't deserve it. I mean you're really amazing."

Jill narrowed her eyes at me. "Go on," she prompted.

"Here's the thing. I kind of lied to you this morning."

"Lied about what?"

"About Caltech. I did get a response to my application."

"And?"

"And, I got in."

For a moment Jill's anger with me was forgotten completely as she put her hands over her mouth. "You're going to Caltech?" Her words were muffled behind her hands. "Oh my God, Embry, that's outstanding!"

I slowly shook my head. "No. I'm not going."

"You're not...you're not going?" Jill dropped her hands and stared at me aghast. "What do you mean you're not going? They aren't going to let you go? How can they do that?"

I rubbed my face and sighed. "It's a long story. I just can't go. But that wasn't the point of my apology. I mean it was, but it's not."

"Okay," Jill said gently. "What is the point of the apology?"

"I've been really angry lately. I've been angry because I got into Caltech and I can't go. Plus, something came up with me personally that was kind of unexpected and it sort of threw me for a loop. Either way, what I'm saying is, I can't go to school so now, all I have is you. I lost my opportunity to have a chance at a future and you are the only good thing I have left. I just….I don't know what I'd do if I lost you too. That's all."

Jill unlatched her stall door and joined me in the aisle. "You aren't going to lose me. Why would you think that?"

I gave a small shrug. "Because. Because I'm a total dork, because I don't have any money, because I have appalling social skills, because I suck at relationship stuff….do you really need me to list all the reasons?"

Jill grabbed my hands. "Embry, all of those things, they're what make you you! And I personally think you're a really great guy."

I gave her a hopeful look. "You do? You think I'm great?"

Jill smiled. "Yes. But from now on you have got to talk to me about these things. I can't help you if you push it all down inside and pick fights instead. We have to be open with each other, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." I took a shuddering breath. "I'm really sorry I've been so difficult lately. I really am."

Jill pressed her palm to my cheek. "I forgive you."

"Whew," I mimed wiping sweat from my forehead. "I'm glad that's settled." I looked down at her with a smile. "Hey let's go make out somewhere."

"Gosh you always say the sweetest things to me," Jill said with a roll of her eyes. "But, okay," she added as an afterthought.

I laughed, but then grabbed her hand before she could move. "I also want to invite you to the rez. To meet my friends. How about Saturday?"

"For real?" She asked.

I nodded. "Yeah for real. I want them to meet you so they can continue to be jealous of me for being hotter, smarter, and having the most beautiful girlfriend in all of Washington."

"Well if it's going to help you out…..I'd love to."

"Great," I said. I grabbed her around the waist and picked her up. "Now come, stable wench. We have business to attend to."

Jill shrieked with laughter as I carried her down the aisle.

"So how was the library?" Quil whispered when I walked through the door.

"Hmmm?" I said.

Quil made a shushing gesture and indicated the sleeping Claire curled up on his lap. "You know, that place in the yellow pages?" He snarked quietly.

"Screw the library. I apologized to Jill and she accepted it. Then we made out in a barn." I said dreamily.

"So that's what that smell is. Making out in a barn with barnyard animals and poop. That's romantic," Quil snorted.

I lost my dazed expression and glared at him. "Yeah this coming from the guy who said 'Thank God that's over' at the end of Notting Hill."

"That's because that movie sucked," Quil said.

"You wouldn't know good cinema if it smacked you upside the head."

"That movie was lame," Quil said. "No guy would like that movie unless they were a big nelly girly girl like you. And you loved it, didn't you?"

I paused. "Yeah, I did," I finally said wistfully.

Quil shook his head. Claire stirred in his lap and he glanced down at her. After making sure he hadn't woken her up, he turned to me again. "So are we ever going to get to meet this girl?"

"Um, yeah actually. I invited her out here Saturday," I said. "Which means you guys have to be on your best behavior."

Quil gave me an innocent look. "When am I ever not on my best behavior?"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Okay, okay, I promise I'll be good."

"You better, or believe me, you'll regret it." I threatened him.

"Hey, I already told you that you can't pick on Quil," Claire mumbled sleepily. "I'll beat you up."

I tried not laugh at the vision of a five year old trying to take me out at the knees with a Barbie and a box of Crayola's. Though the thought of sticky hands touching me did cause me to shudder. Why are kids always so sticky anyway? It's just disgusting. I don't know how Quil could stand it, or how anyone could stand it for that matter.

Quil gave Claire a loving smile. "Thanks for taking my side this time baby-doll."

"Nobody is mean to my Quil," she said.

"You hear that?" Quil asked me. "Nobody is mean to Claire's Quil."

I waved my hand dismissively at the two of them. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Quil pulled Claire tighter against him and stood up. She wrapped her small arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. I could hear her mumbling a protest into his shirt.

"I'm going to go put her in my bed until Emily comes," Quil explained quietly. He carried Claire down the hallway towards his bedroom.

I spun the recliner I was sitting on in a lazy circle and let my thoughts drift back to Jill. I started when Seth came slamming through the door, a look of annoyance on his face.

"I take it the date didn't go well," I ventured.

"That Maddy is kind of a stuck up snob," Seth said.

Quil came rushing down the hallway and glared at Seth. "Keep it down, Claire's sleeping," he scolded.

"Oh sorry," Seth said. He flopped onto the sofa.

"Well don't keep me in suspense," I said. "How'd the date go?"

"Well first of all since someone," he leveled a glare at Quil, "wouldn't let me use their car, I had to go over to her place on my bike."

"I'm sorry, but if there would have been an emergency and I would have had to get Claire to a doctor, I would have needed my car," Quil said.

"Whatever man, it's all about words with you," Seth glowered.

"Forget the car, just tell us what happened," I urged.

"Right, well so anyway, she was all pissy that I couldn't drive her anywhere. So fine, whatever. So then I told her we were going to go eat at River's Edge-"

Quil and I both hissed.

"Ohh, Seth. Really?" I said with a wince.

River's Edge is pretty much the only restaurant in La Push that isn't in the resort. The food is mediocre at best. The only good thing about it is the view. But even a decent view wouldn't force me to eat their food. Anytime we eat out, we generally head into Forks.

"Well what do you want? I didn't have a car, remember?" Seth said. "It's not like I could bike us into Forks."

"Okay, okay. So what'd she say?"

"Well the first thing she said was 'I'm glad you appreciate fine dining'. So I said 'Do you want to eat or not'."

I grimaced. I thought I was bad with girls. This was almost painful to listen to.

"So she says 'I don't know are you sure you can spare the five bucks? I wouldn't want to break your bank or anything'. So I say 'You sure complain a lot'."

Wow, I was really beginning to wish I had witnessed this in person. It was sort of like when you see a horrible car accident and even though it's gross and a little morbid, you can't help but stare.

"So then she says 'I assumed we'd go somewhere that required more than a shirt and shoes to get service'. So I said 'Well what did you expect five star dining?'" Seth shook his head. "I mean what kind of allowance does she think I get? Not to mention how stupid I'd feel requesting valet parking for my bicycle."

I laughed. "Oh my God, Seth, seriously. Does the carnage never end? Please tell me you cut your losses and ran at that point."

Seth shook his head and gave me an impish grin. "Nope. We skipped dinner and ended up making out all night. And it was sweeeeet," he sang. "She's totally into me."

I raised an eyebrow. "She's totally into you?" I repeated.

"Dude, please," Seth gave me a look. "I'm like the freaking bottle. When I'm through with her this chick is going to need a twelve step program to get over me."

Quil and I both laughed.

"Our little boy is growing up," Quil said.

"Hey, you guys want to hear something interesting?" I said.

Seth shrugged. "Sure."

"Did you know that people give their horses two names? One is a show name and one is a barn name. They use one name when they take them to shows and stuff, and the other name is what they actually call the horse. I don't get why they don't just use one name for everything, but apparently, it's normal to have two names."

Quil made a face. "Okay then," he said. He got up and left the room.

"Hey you're right," Seth said as he glanced longingly at the hallway leading to his bedroom. "That was really interesting. It was so interesting it caused Quil to leave the room and this is a guy who I've seen spend six straight hours watching Dora the Explorer. In fact it was so interesting you know what happened next? I died from boredom!"

I glared at him. "I thought it was interesting," I muttered.

"You would," Seth said.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well you are pretty much the biggest nerd that I know. That's just my humble opinion" Seth informed me.

"Your opinion? Well I too have opinions that are more valid than yours. You know, considering the fact that I'm not an idiot. So just put away your copy of 'Schoolyard Insults: An Illustrated Guide to Cutting Down Your Playmates' because you will never win a battle of words with me silly child."

Seth shook his head. "That just proves that you're a nerd. I mean who talks like that?"

"I'll excuse the fact that your response is implicitly hiding your obvious jealously of my superior intelligence."

"I'm not jealous of you." Seth said with a frown.

"While I'm sure you feel your words have verisimilitude, I assure you I see through your guise."

"I have verwhatatude?"

I sighed. "Verisimilitude. It means 'having the appearance of being true or real'."

"God, Quil's right. It is like talking to a walking thesaurus."

I was saved from having to respond by a quiet knock on our door. Seth hopped up to answer it and Emily followed him inside.

"Hey guys, I'm here for Claire. Quil said she was sleeping."

"Yeah, she's in Quil's room," I said.

Emily stared at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Could you tell him I'm here, please?" Emily rolled her eyes.

"Oh, yeah, sure. QUIL! EMILY'S HERE!"

I heard Quil muttering and Claire beginning to cry.

Emily leaned over and swatted me on the arm. "Nice going jackass. You woke her up."

I shrugged. "She has to learn that life sucks sometime, might as well start her lessons now."

Quil came down the hallway glaring daggers at me. Claire was clinging to his shoulders sobbing into his neck.

"I don't wanna go," she wept.

Quil's face looked pained as he spoke. "You have to go with Aunt Emily," he said in a soothing voice. "She's taking you home to mommy and daddy tomorrow."

Claire cried even harder. "I wanna stay with you Quil," she managed to get out around her bawling.

"I'm sorry Claire-bear, but you have to go with Emily." Quil tried to hand Claire over to Emily, but she balled her hands into his T-shirt and held tight.

"She's just tired," Quil said to Emily. He managed to unlatch Claire's hands and grudgingly put her into Emily's arms.

"I know," Emily said as she smoothed Claire's hair.

"NO! I WANT QUIL! NO!" Claire screamed as she struggled in Emily's arms.

Quil flinched noticeably. He turned his head to the side and shoved his ear into his shoulder. He actually looked like he was going to be sick.

"I'll see you next week," he tried to console Claire.

"You promise?" She asked, her voice clogged with tears.

"I double promise," Quil said.

"Okay," Claire sniffled.

"All right little girl, let's get you into bed, okay?" Emily gave Quil a sympathetic look as she carried Claire out of the house, Quil watching forlornly from the doorway.

Once they were in Emily's car, Quil closed the door with a frustrated groan and leaned forward against it, his palms splayed out, his forehead pressing against the heavy wood. "God, it really hurts when she cries, you know, like right here." He turned his head towards me and Seth and placed one of his hands flat against the center of his chest. "It's like getting hit with a sledgehammer."

I felt pretty bad and gave him an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to wake her up."

Quil sighed and pushed himself off the door. "She probably would have woken up anyway." He still looked peaked which added to my guilt. "I'm going to go lay down," he said.

"Okay. Hey I really am sorry."

"Yeah, whatever. Night."

Quil walked slowly down the hallway and went into his room, closing the door behind him.

I made a face at Seth. "God, that has to suck," I said.

"What? Claire leaving?"

I shook my head. "No, feeling that horrible when your imprint cries. I mean, he looked really sick."

"Well, we've seen what imprinting does to those guys," Seth said. "We've both been in their heads. I think it's hardest for Quil though. I mean sure Jake imprinted on a little kid too, but Nessie has never really acted like a little kid does. Quil's the only one who has had to deal with this sort of stuff. I feel bad for the guy."

"Same here," I said.

Seeing the way Claire's crying had affected Quil really made me even more thankful that I hadn't imprinted. To be that invested in the life of another person was a scary prospect. It wasn't like a regular relationship in any sense of the word. The imprinted wolves lived and breathed for their imprints. In the back of my mind, I had to admit that I honestly thought I was a little too selfish to ever care that much about someone else. To put them and their needs before anything else….it wasn't something I was sure I would be capable of. Though I guess when you imprint you don't really have much of a choice, which was something else that I found daunting.

"I'm going to bed," Seth said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Huh? Oh yeah, good night."

As Seth got up, I sat and stared out the picture window. I remembered how just a couple of months ago I had wished that I imprinted on Jill. Which in turn reminded me that I hadn't imprinted on her, which meant I could conceivably still imprint on someone else, hurting Jill in the process. Which I think made me feel even more selfish. I looked away from the window and called out to Seth's retreating figure.

"Hey Seth."

Seth turned back to look at me. "Yeah?"

"Do you worry that you'll imprint? I mean you never really think about it."

Seth shrugged. "Not really. I mean if it happens it happens. I don't let stuff like that get me down."

"But what about dating. Do you think it's worth it for us to do it, knowing that out there somewhere is our soul mate just waiting for us to find her?"

"It's like I said to you earlier. We can't live our lives being terrified of imprinting. It wouldn't make for much of a life."

"I guess you're right," I said. "Oh by the way, I'm bringing Jill out here Saturday to meet you guys. Will you be around?"

"I'll be here," Seth said with a smile. "I'm glad you're bringing her down here."

"Yeah me too."

"All right, I'm going to bed," Seth said amiably.

"Night," I replied absently.

As Seth left, I sat thinking. I began to wonder if bringing Jill to the rez was the best idea and just hoped the whole thing didn't blow up in my face.

A/N: Two things. One I realize that I lied to Laziesttiger in my review reply the other day. That thing I said would be resolved this chapter, actually gets taken care of in the next chapter. Sorry! I forgot that something that originally happened here got moved. Also if anyone cares, Jill's horse was named for one of my favorite Racehorses who sadly passed away from cancer at age 4, Lost in the Fog. His barn name was taken from the space shuttle Challenger (about which I wrote a paper a fall semester). I was going to give her horse my horse's name, but I thought my horse might get testy with me about naming another horse with his name, fictional or not!