Sakura stumbled back to base the next evening, nursing a headache. Itachi was used to her coming in like this—he didn't even wake from his sleep when she entered. Pain was going to be pissed that she didn't have the aphrodisiacs, but, well, too bad for him. She still had a packet left, anyway. She boiled herself some water in the corner and made tea, sipping it slowly and cautiously like it would try to kill her. Attempting to get last night's events out of her head, she took to sharpening her kunai, a comforting, thoughtless activity. After about an hour Konan entered the room. "Haruno-san, have you picked up the items Pain requested? I need them for my mission."

"I'm afraid they were…out of stock," Sakura muttered uncharacteristically. She pulled out a last packet from the pocket of her tattered cloak. "This was all I could get."

Konan looked at her like she knew she was lying—of course she was, nobody was out of stock when it came to Akatsuki—then nodded, took the packet, and left.

Angrily, Sakura punched her small pillow, and went back to sleep.

She woke up to the opening of their door. Instinctively, she went for a kunai and threw it at the noise. There was no sickening squelch of pierced flesh or thwack of metal embedding in the door. Sakura opened her eyes and sat up rapidly. Pain, holding her kunai, sauntered into the room. "Please, Haruno, attempt to control that inconvenient reflex."

Sheepishly, Sakura rubbed her neck. "Sorry. I should've been more alert. Or less alert. Or…something."

Itachi sat up lazily on his side of the room, stretching his arms in a catlike way, mesh shirt riding up a bit on his stomach. He wasn't even threatened by the leader's presence—he had slept right through it. If he had felt threatened, Itachi would have woken up the moment he got within ten feet of the door. His sense for killing intent was amazing. "What brings you here, Leader?"

"New mission," he answered tersely, glancing at Sakura, and Sakura suddenly had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She felt like she wasn't going to like what he had to say. He looked almost…concerned, which was impossible for the impervious leader. He didn't care about the members, only about the mission—at least, that was the impression he gave. So why did he look like this mission would cause him to be concerned for her? He opened his mouth and Sakura's headache came back full-blast—

"Your mission," Pain said, "Is to capture the nine-tails Jinchuuriki. Render him incapacitated and bring him to the hideout for draining."

The world around Sakura spun. She left it to Itachi to accept the mission for both of them. As soon as they were dismissed, she stumbled to the nearest bathroom and vomited into the toilet several times, letting all her agony and disgust at what she had to do flow out. Naruto. When she was done retching and all that was left was little, short gasping breaths to stop the imminent tears, Itachi said from the doorway,

"You know, one would think you don't eat nearly enough to vomit all that up."

Sakura spun, a kunai in her hand as she furiously tried to stab the hell out of the Uchiha. Itachi effortlessly pushed her away so she stumbled against the lavatory wall. Itachi shut the door behind him, so nobody outside could hear.

Sakura's eyes burned, still she refused to cry. "Go away," she told Itachi. Itachi merely stood there. "What the hell do you want?" she shouted when he didn't move.

"I don't know enough about the nine-tails to do the mission on my own. You are going to have to cooperate with me on this…Sakura." Sakura barely registered that he was using her first name for the first time. "If you can't stomach it," he paused, looking at the mess she'd made in the toilet, "I suggest you see Pain about leaving Akatsuki."

Sakura had dropped her gaze, but looked up with hate in her eyes. "I can manage this mission just fine," she spat.

"Your attacking me shows otherwise."

"Stay out of my affairs, Uchiha."

"But then, your emotional attachment to the Nine-tails could also be an advantage. Perhaps you could convince him to come willingly…or lure him. I'll disable the Hokage. You capture the jinchuuriki."

"You're telling me we're going to single-handedly take on Konoha?" Sakura asked, getting up and pacing the length of the bathroom. "You think you're going to just waltz in and kill Kakashi-sen…I mean, the Hokage? You're telling me we're going to kidnap Na—I mean, the nine-tails—and bring him back without anybody noticing? "

"You know how he is. He obviously wants you back, so go back. But only to him. You can't be put in prison; that would be a waste of time. Speak to nobody but him, and knock him out with some sort of drug. I know how to get through the borders of Konoha—you probably do too. We are the best-suited team for this. When people notice, I will take them on. I can handle it."

"Yes, after all, you destroyed hundreds of renowned geniuses in one night," Sakura said sarcastically. Itachi didn't even flinch. He never did. She let out a long, shaky sigh. "Whatever. When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow, since you are obviously still hung-over. Get your drugs ready. I'll arrange my affairs."

Sakura bitterly pushed past him. He caught her wrist. "Again, Sakura, cooperation is essential to this mission. If you impair the mission, I will impair you."

"Understood," Sakura said stiffly and tried to leave. Itachi pulled her back again.

"I do not want to admit this, but my illness is getting worse. It will be bad for stealth if I start coughing blood in the middle of the streets. I fear your medicine is ineffective. What can be done?"

Sakura closed her eyes, exasperated. She pulled her hand away. "Option one: you stop straining your mangekyou sharingan so much; not viable. Option two: you quit the life of a ninja; not viable. Option three: you let me perform a possibly fatal surgery on your lungs; not viable in the current time. Option four: I concoct another medicine which will temporarily delay the disease. In order to concoct this potion, I need DNA samples from you. Open wide."

Itachi looked at her disdainfully, then parted his lips enough for Sakura to shove a cotton ball in and swap his cheeks. She pulled it out. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and said, "I'll work on it. Will you let me through now?"

Finally Itachi raised his arm and Sakura ran down the hall to the makeshift kitchen, intending to dunk her face in a bottle of alcohol.

She was just reaching into the fridge when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She elbowed whoever it was, figuring she wouldn't make a dent on any Akatsuki. She hadn't guessed that it was Tobi, who flew back into the kitchen counter.

"Owww, Sakura-chan!" he winced. "That huuuurt!"

"Tobi?" Sakura asked, too startled to be angry. "What are you doing here?"

"Tobi just wanted some food," the orange-masked man…boy…thing…whimpered.

"Sorry," Sakura muttered.

"What's Sakura-chan doing here? Is she going for the alcohol again?" Sakura looked surprised. "Yes, Tobi knows Sakura drinks. Just like Tsunade-chan. Sakura-chan shouldn't drink. It's bad for her."

"It's none of your business." Sakura opened the fridge, but all the bottles were gone.

"Hidan-san drank the last of the alcohol," Tobi informed her.

Well this day was just getting better and better.

Naruto strolled along the streets of Konoha. He'd just gone with Hinata to see how Neji was coming along, and found him making out with Tenten. They'd left in a hurry, naturally, and he mostly had to carry Hinata, who had fainted, back to the small apartment she'd rented. The Hyuuga rebellion was nearing its conclusion and everything was going well! Kakashi-sensei was Hokage now, because Tsunade was an even older hag than she used to be.

Unlocking the door to his apartment, Naruto stepped in with a long, content sigh. He would definitely be Hokage right after Kakashi-sensei. He was just a little bit young for now, according to Tsunade. Nice of her to talk with her age.

With a frown, he realized the window was open. He was sure he hadn't left it like that. Oh well. He stepped over to close it, and out of nowhere, his ninja senses tingled. Something was wrong.

The next thing he knew, a shadow in the corner moved and was going for his head.

Naruto whirled around, blocking the blow and grabbing the wrist so that the kunai couldn't hit him. With a sniff, he realized the kunai was poisoned. He kicked the figure into the corner. "Hey, what's your problem?" he yelled, jumping over and pinning the attacker down. The person had a black mask on and only the eyes were visible. The vibrant green eyes seemed somewhat familiar, but Naruto didn't have time to think as the ninja made a hand sign and disappeared. Then the attacker was behind him, reaching into a pouch and pulling out what appeared to be sleep bombs. Naruto held his breath and tried to look around. He kicked out blindly and, surprisingly, caught the attacker. He made sure to tackle the ninja and pulled off his mask—

It was a her.

Not only was she a her, but she was Sakura.

"Sakura?" Naruto whispered. What the hell was this? Somebody dressed up as Sakura? "Release!" He tried to get rid of whatever genjutsu was on her, but she just stayed the same way. It was really her! And she'd tried to kill him! "Sakura-chan!"

"Naruto," Sakura whispered, and there were tears in her eyes. "I…"

"Sakura!" Naruto tackled her into a sudden hug, realizing that she'd finally come back. Finally, she was done training with Orochimaru!

Sakura sounded like she was choking as she raised a hand to the back of his head. Naruto frowned in confusion, until her chakra ran through him, effectively knocking him out, and a needle stabbed itself into his arm. Oh, right. She was trying to kill him. But why?

Sakura slung Naruto over her shoulder and ran out the village gates. There was, of course, a barrier around the village that would warn if enemy ninja came in or out, but she and Itachi knew perfectly how to get through it. If she wasn't seen by any people—and she wasn't, seeing as it was the dead of night—she would get out. She swung Naruto down to cradle him in her arms, and he was limp, and oh god Naruto should never be limp, oh god, and it was all her fault, she'd injected the stupid drug and oh god she was taking him to his death and she was a monster—

She tried to keep the tears at bay, and sort of succeeded, maybe. She ran toward the Valley of the End, where she would stop on the way back to the Akatsuki base to freshen up.

She'd always justified going to Akatsuki with the thought that she could stop them from hurting Naruto.

And yet here she was, taking him to them.

Sakura didn't know who she was anymore. She'd given up everything, but if she gave Naruto to Akatsuki it would finally be the end of Sakura. She would really lose herself. She did everything to protect those she loved, while still going through with her goal. Now she realized things weren't so simple. She had to choose—goal or friends? If she saved Naruto, it would be a lot harder to achieve her goal. If she let them kill Naruto and take the nine-tails, it would mean the end of the world. It was a mark of how selfish Sakura had become that she was having difficulty with this choice.

Then, as she ran across the head of Uchiha Madara, out of nowhere…

Someone else's chakra.

Sakura knew who it would be even before she heard the cold, commanding voice from behind her, on the opposite statue: "Hand over the Jinchuuriki, Sakura."

Sakura whirled, face to face with Sasuke. Damn fate. She narrowed her eyes. "What do you want with…it?"

"Orochimaru doesn't want Akatsuki to have the nine-tailed fox. So he sent me to take it instead." Sasuke said all this in a perfectly nonchalant voice. Sakura would almost have believed the attitude. "Nice coincidence, isn't it?"

"So tell me, what nightmares did you have on the way here?" Sakura sneered, holding Naruto a bit closer to her body, protectively. "How do you deal with the guilt?"

"There is no guilt."

"Bullshit."

"Why should there be guilt? I'm ridding the Leaf of a potentially powerful weapon and taking it where it won't be used for war."

"You don't really believe that. What do you think Orochimaru will do with Naruto? Keep him locked up in a cell, experiment on him until he's nothing more than a hollow shell of what he used to be—do you think that's any better than his death?"

Sasuke looked at her steadily. "I've broken the bonds. I care nothing about this person. It's how I deal. But you seem to care, yet you're taking him to his death. How do you justify everything you've done?"

Sakura sneered. It was an ugly sight. "I don't."

"You…don't?"

"I'm a terrible, useless little girl who betrays everyone. I'm worse than you. I'm okay with that by now. I have a goal and nothing matters as long as I achieve it—that's the mentality I learned from you." She put Naruto down, and charged at Sasuke.

Easily, he dodged her first kick, but she flipped and jabbed out again. Sasuke activated his sharingan immediately, realizing that her fighting style had much changed. He caught a glance of the Akatsuki ring on her finger and angrily kicked out. They were on the Hokage's head now, exchanging kunai, trying to look for holes in the other's weakness. Sasuke tried to run past her, but Sakura swiftly stuck her foot out, spun, and pushed him off the hokage's head. Sasuke plummeted, and Sakura jumped in the water after him, riled up by the fight, wanting a few answers. He clambered out and tried to restrain her with razor wire and shuriken, but she'd seen him practice that trick endlessly back at the academy. She evaded it and flipped backwards to avoid a few kunai. They were at the base of the Hokage's foot, and breathing hard.

"Sasuke…" Sakura growled. She'd restrained herself from asking every time she'd seen him, but now it all spilled out in a furious, pained scream. "Why did you leave us? Explain to me. NOW! WHY THE HELL DID YOU LEAVE? You ruined everything!"

Sasuke was surprised, then slowly smirked. "Heh. You're just like Naruto." A chidori started to crackle around his fist, and he grabbed Sakura by the neck with the other hand, pushing her against the stony wall. She grabbed at his hand, trying unsuccessfully to pry it off in an attempt to get air.

"…If I kill you…I will gain unimaginable powers." Sasuke held the chidori up with the hand that wasn't around Sakura's neck. "That was the case with Naruto as well! I have to kill you…to kill Itachi!"

Sakura let out what might have been a laugh were she not choking to death. "So…that's it?" she gasped out. Sasuke's expression hardened. "That's your…reason for…trying to kill Naruto? You wanted the…mangekyou sharingan?"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "How the hell would you know about that?"

"I'm not Naruto. I read up on things, and since you never bothered to burn the scrolls of the Uchiha…well, in preparation to face you or your brother, I did a little reading up while I was in Konoha." She grinned victoriously, and at that Sasuke seemed to snap.

"You snuck into the Uchiha household and went through sacred, ancient scrolls?" Sasuke demanded. "You…you defiled and disrespected the clan like that?" he rammed the chidori through her stomach. "You're just as bad as the rest of them!" he screamed. "Nobody in Konoha had or has any regard for the Uchiha! They feared them while they were alive, and when they died they just went on smiling and laughing! Laughing, like nothing had happened! I thought you were different for a second, but I should have known better!"

Sakura looked down at him, eyes dimming, and then she literally exploded. A shadow clone—just like Itachi's. The real Sakura emerged from behind a rock some distance away. Sasuke ran at her, not pausing in his tirade of accusations. "I will make the Uchiha clan great again! I will kill the one who destroyed them! And I'll wipe out Konoha—the scum! Everybody who sat by and watched it happen deserves to suffer! Why didn't anybody help my family, why didn't they stop Itachi? Why did they leave an eight-year-old boy with that kind of a burden?"

Sakura deflected several blows, so Sasuke tackled her to the ground, punching her in the face over and over again. He was fighting unpredictably, angrily, so unlike his usual precision. "I would have gained power—then you come along and destroy everything! You're still weak—you think you've improved, but you really haven't! You're so annoying!"

Sakura waited until he was done. Then, in a fashion that Sasuke found way too familiar, she spat blood into his face as her hair started to come out of its braid and drooped behind her.

Then she kicked upwards and Sasuke saw it just soon enough to avoid a blow to his groin, which would, without a doubt, have been excruciatingly painful. At least Naruto would never have gone for the groin. He waited for her to continue her attack, but she just stood and brushed herself off. When she lifted her head, there was a different look in her eye.

"You…you really wouldn't care if Orochimaru took your body, would you?"

Sasuke was taken aback. Then he shook his head and replied in monotone, "If it helps me defeat Itachi, he can have my life—and my afterlife, for that matter."

"Helps you defeat Itachi?" Sakura laughed. "Orochimaru will use your body for his own means. If he happens to kill Itachi on the way, it will be his doing, not yours!" Sakura stepped closer to him, now seizing his shirt before he could react. "Itachi killed your family. Not Orochimaru's. Aren't you the avenger? What do you want more: for him to be dead or for you to kill him? You keep telling me he's your kill, but apparently that's bullshit!"

"I don't need to answer to you," Sasuke growled, elbowing her away and pushing her against the stone. "What about you? What are you trying to pull?"

Sakura pulled out a kunai. Sasuke unsheathed his sword. Throwing the kunai as a half-diversion, Sakura punched the ground below. The side of the cliff tumbled down, rocks catching Sasuke and leaving bruises all over. He fell into the water, mustering all his energy to push himself back up to the surface. Sakura was standing a few feet away with an expression that he didn't like at all.

"Hey, Sasuke," Sakura sneered. She made hand-signs. Sasuke's eyes widened. No way! He barely managed to jump away before he would have been hit with a barrage of water. But then something grabbed him and he realized. Of course, she was a water type, and they were in water. He was fucked. Water tendrils curled around him, limiting his movement. Sakura stepped over him, placing her foot on his chest, face alight with victory. "Who's weak now?"

Sasuke sent lightning through his whole body in a chidori nagashi, and quickly climbed up the rocks on the cliff to the statue opposite the Hokage. Sakura followed him, and Sasuke smirked. She couldn't use water now, this high in the air. But Sakura surprised him again, knocking him back and pinning him again with water she'd kept in her mouth. She must have gotten some just for this purpose before she followed him. He had to hand it to her—she thought ahead.

She swung her foot high, intending to bring it down on him. He leaped back just in time—her foot came down on Uchiha Madara's head and one of the stone hair strands shattered beneath her. She started to fall, but managed to grab onto another surface with one hand. Sasuke leaped down to stand over her, slamming a sandle hard on her struggling fingers, cracking them. While Sakura fell, she left behind a trail of green chakra as she healed herself in the air. By the time she hit the water, she was done. She let herself sink down through the bubbles. Then she gathered water around herself, holding it back, gathering tension, until she released it and the water worked like a trampoline for her, shooting her up into the air. She grabbed onto Madara's nose, flipped herself up. Sasuke was running toward Naruto's prone form.

"No!" she commanded, and threw shuriken at him. Sasuke dodged them all without looking. Grimacing at the effort this would take, Sakura felt the pull in her gut as she forced water to come up from 150 meters below and hit Sasuke in the face with it. He stumbled back.

"What the hell do you want? What's this goal that you're working so hard for?" Sasuke yelled back at her, pissed. He was tired of this stupid fight, didn't want to have to go second form. His eyes were burning. He didn't know what she was trying to get at—why did it seem like she was trying to fight him more than save Naruto? Did she want to kill him? Why? Sakura finally started talking, obviously too tired to keep her secret anymore.

"It was all for you, Sasuke," Sakura snarled. "It was always you! Always! I wanted to kill Itachi since we became Team Seven—because I knew it would end the circle of hate! I kill him—you become the leaf's top ninja. Akatsuki kills me in retribution, but nobody would miss me since I'm useless. I only joined and worked with Akatsuki to kill the man I was partnered with! It was always you, Sasuke. Always. I wanted to grow stronger for you… to be able to protect you from Itachi, but mostly to save you from yourself. From what I understood, even back then, that you had to do. I wanted to be able to stop you from having to leave. And I guess I still wasn't strong enough. I guess I really did waste so many years of my life. I guess…Shikamaru was right: nobody has benefited from my leaving. But I can't go back. I can't go back to those memories, because as you know, you bastard, I love you!"

"You love me?" he repeated in disbelief. "Trying to punch a hole through me shows you love me?"

"Listen to me, Sasuke," she growled. "You and I both know you're not going to come back to the village after you kill Itachi. So I'll shoulder your hatred. I'm going to kill Itachi, and then you'll have to come after me, because I stole your kill. You'll kill me and I'll kill you, because I can't stand to watch you fall into the darkness that revenge brings. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, Sasuke. It was my dream to make you happy. I..." angry tears spilled down her cheeks. "I just wanted to see you smile again!"

"You've gone crazy," Sasuke decided, because there was no logical order to her babbling. "The only thing that can make me happy is Itachi's death, and the destruction of Konoha for laughing at the Uchiha clan's annihilation."

"I told you this all those years ago. Seeking revenge won't make anybody happy—not you and not me. That's why I wanted to do it for you. If—if I can kill him, you can go without the weight of having killed your own brother, who I think...you still love. I want to kill your brother for what he did to you and to the village. And when I die, you won't have to worry about me being annoying and getting in your way anymore. You can't give your body to Orochimaru, Sasuke. I'd rather see you die."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Then he laughed, laughed for so long, chest heaving and lips drawn wide. He sobered up after a minute, voice high-pitched and breaking a bit. "You really are that same fangirl. You presume to help me, but all you're doing is getting in my way. You…really are annoying. But if you want to die so much…" he swallowed for a split second, pushing aside the image of a six-year old bright green-eyed girl with rose hair—"I guess I could grant you your wish." He was tired, close to exhausted from the fight, but he still started charging up a chidori. It would be easy—that trick with pulling up the water must have taken a lot out of her.

Sakura knelt. "I've said what I wanted to say. The problem is…I can't die just yet. Itachi has to die at my hands first." She pressed a hand to the curse seal on the back of her neck and sure enough, black teardrops started to creep across her skin. "Just remember, Sasuke…-kun. I'll always love you, and I'll never regret the times we had together."

The teardrops flared red, covering the skin and darkening into brown. She was going second state. Her lips darkened purple, green eyes blackening with yellow pupils, pink hair bristling out into a messy mane. Fangs peeked out beneath her lips, claws lengthening on her fingers. And finally, water rose almost of its own accord and wrapped itself around her in a spiral. Okay, so there was going to be an issue with using fire jutsu.

Sasuke looked downwards, and the waves below were rising, undulating faster and faster and higher. The water level seemed to be almost rising toward Sakura like she was a magnet. Now was the time to attack, while she seemed to be preparing. Literally lightning fast, Sasuke zigzagged from side to side, dodging the jets of water she was trying to trip him with, and jammed the chidori through her bubble of water. The explosion rocketed him back, and she was thrown against rock as well. Water flew everywhere, but the shield seemed to remain. Still, she seemed to be clutching a bit at her arm—he must have at least grazed her.

Sasuke intended to force out more chakra, but he couldn't do so without going second form. As the wings sprouted out of his back, she rushed him. He barely raised his hands in time to grab hers and grapple, trying to flip her over to get her away, but she was pushing hard and the water was getting in his face. She pressed forward, against him, and he prepared a chidori nagashi. As it threw her to the ground, he could have sworn her hand grazed his cheek. He went to step over her but the water slapped him in the face again, curling around him, holding his hands apart and his feet restrained to the ground.

It was time to end this. He used his strong wings to break out, and charged up the last chidori he had the chakra for. She was kneeling meters away, her palm growing green with chakra, the other hand holding a small ball of water.

For a split second when he looked up they made eye contact, snakelike eyes meeting. She mouthed something, but the roar of the chakra was too loud.

He stood and started running at her. She followed suit, and Sasuke wondered how her curse seal eyes could still cry.

Heated breath, hands everywhere on that night, she was his no matter what, days at Orochimaru's base wondering what she was doing, remembering when she picked a flower for him and he grudgingly accepted it, remembering her holding him in the forest of death as he experienced the greatest pain of his life, feeling her hands on his chest as she healed and tried to breathe life into him, her lips covering his, her limp form as Itachi's blade ran her through—

There was an explosion as they clashed, and then nothing.

It was raining.

Sakura stood over Sasuke, bruised and beaten. He was unconscious, a rather large hole in his chest. Burns covered her own body, but they were irrelevant. She was still standing.

Sakura fell to her knees over him. She shook with fatigue. Her bangs fell over her eyes as she placed her hands on the wound.

Why am I doing this? She wondered as she healed up the hole, draining the last of her chakra. Why?

She stood up and started to walk away.

Why can't I let him die?

Why the hell do I still love him?

She slung Naruto over her back and started walking toward the rendezvous point, where Itachi would be waiting. She would play the perfect little Akatsuki for a little while longer. Then, when she got just a little bit stronger and the extra drugs she'd added to his medication started kicking in, she would do it.

She would finally kill Uchiha Itachi.

If she died in the process, so be it.

AN: I'm….really struggling with this fic. It's not quite speaking to me anymore. But I want to see it through, because I don't like giving up. However, I can't promise regular updates, because while a lot of the rest is written it's not quite tied together yet. I apologize for the extremely long wait, I really do.

I'd also like to give a special shout out to the anonymous reviewer Nonny, to whom I couldn't reply due to the aforementioned anonymity. Thanks so much for your lovely review—it really helped me get motivated to pull this chapter together and I'm so glad you're still enjoying it.

Uh, yeah, there's the explanation you've all been waiting for-Sakura's reason for everything. Sasuke. Typical of her, isn't it? She was willing to give up her whole family and she's taken it one step farther. This true love thing is getting kinda twisted.

-SaccharineGray