Yukari: (Watching 'World's Dumbest Drivers') These people are so retarded it's not even funny!
Sayo: I thought it was supposed to be funny because it's retarded?
Yukari: Whenever I see people this just utterly stupid it gives me a frickin headache!
Chisame: Then why are you watching it?
Yukari: My parents suggested it... (Sees camera) Seriously, why don't you ever tell me when you start the camera?
Cameraman: Uh...
Yukari: Whatever... Hello, and welcome to...
Everyone: NEGIMA! TRUTH AND DARE!
Yukari: This time we have...six letters! New record! Again!
Everyone: Whoot!
Yukari: Our first letter is from GreenFire:
I dare eva to wear a tiny swimsuit and try to seduce negi, Yue to not take a bath and not change after getting out of the crate, asuna to do something embarassing (your choice), and yukari to take an aphrodisiac(it is like a drug that makes your body want to have sex) just to see what happens
Yukari: Eva-chan?
Evangeline: Grrrrr...
Yukari: Growling wont help.
Evangeline: Fine. (Leaves then returns wearing a really small bikini)
Yukari: That... just doesn't look right on a ten-year old body.
Evangeline: Just shut your trap.
Yukari: Wait, where are Yue and Negi anyway?
Asuna: Did... Did you leave them in that crate?
Yukari: Oh, I guess I did. Ehehehe... (Opens crate to see Yue and Negi, cuddling together, sleeping) Aww... cute.
Asuna: It might even look innocent if they weren't stripped of their clothes.
Yukari: WAKE UP YOU TWO!
Yue and Negi: (Wake up)
Negi: Was I...? (Runs off shouting something about 'one of my students' and 'english gentleman')
Yue: ...
Yukari: Hahaha. Yue, you can't take a bath or put on clothes until the show's over.
Yue: WHAT?
Yukari: Next... Asuna. Uh... Go to a church and randomly sing Barbie Girl. Sorry, I can't really think of anything.
Asuna: FINE! (Runs into a church and starts singing Barbie Girl... then gets kicked out)
Yukari: She actually did it...? (Reads next dare) So that's what an aphrodisiac is. Okay. (Takes aphrodisiac) Hey, Asu... (tackles Asuna)
Asuna: WTF ARE YOU DOING?
Yukari: You!
(Yukari tries to rape Asuna but is held back by Konoka and Setsuna)
TWO HOURS LATER:
Yukari: Ugh... Why THE HELL do I feel so stoned...
Setsuna: Don't even ASK, Yukari...
Yukari: Well, let's do the next letter, it's from OverlordMao:
Yo liking this fic already, keep it up! Alright then, my set of dares(no truths).
Yukari - Bring out Fate, Mana, Zazie, Makie, Ayaka, and Ako to your show. I would like to see some torment to the additional cast. If you don't well, that's up to you.
Nodoka - Sorry 'bout this Nodo-chan but, read all of the Twilight Saga books without rest. Again, sorry!
Eva - Fight Simon Belmont
Yue - Drink sake
Konoka - Be a yandere for Setsuna
That's all, bye!
-OverlordMao
Yukari: Sorry, but it'd be a big pain to have so many guests... Three AT MOST. So yeah, I'll bring a few out. (Calls Ayaka, Zazie, and Mana on cell phone and somehow convinces them to come)
(Ayaka, Zazie, and Mana come in)
Ayaka: Hello! I heard Negi-sensei would be here! (Glomps Negi)
Mana: Yo.
Zazie: ...
Yukari: Hi guys! Nodo-chan?
Nodoka: I've already read the Twilight series. It wasn't very good.
Yukari: Hm... Who's Simon Belmont? Is it someone I should know? Uhm... Yue?
Yue: I'm underage.
Yukari: So?
Yue: ...Good point. (Starts drinking)
Konoka: Yandere? That sounds fun. (Runs over and beats Setsuna with a shovel)
Setsuna: Ojou-sama! What are you doing?
Konoka: Showing my affection for you, silly.
Setsuna: What's that supposed to mean if you're beating me with a shovel!
Yukari: Aww, how sweet. On to the next letter, then! This one's from shadow sage:
Chisame must model her cosplay outfits for negi and have him pick the ones for her next show
Sayo must (invisibly) pants or skirts anyone she chooses
Negi must reveal who out of ayaka, nodoka, asuna, yue, and chachamaru who he would most like to date by doing this to them in order
Least favorite: shake hand
Second least: hug
Middle: cheek kiss
Second favorite: lips kiss.
Favorite: make out session
Chachamaru must show off a cosplay outfit one choosen by each person on the show (you complained about being ignored)
Haruna must draw a picture of every girl in the room in a swim suit and give it to negi (he can't know until the end of the show)
Truths
Eva why did you force negi to take a bath with you
Negi, did you enjoy seeing any of the girls in the bath
Yukari: Okay, Chiu-chiu?
Chisame: Model my cosplay... for NEGI? No way!
Yukari: Are you sure?
Chisame: Yes!
Yukari: Fine. (Pushes into fanpit)
Chisame: Shi- (Dragged off)
(Suddenly, Asuna's skirt falls down)
Asuna: (Hurriedly pulls skirt back up) Wh-What was that!
Yukari: Negi?
Negi: Erm... Okay. (Shakes Ayaka's hand, much to her dissapointment, then hugs Asuna, then kisses Nodoka on the cheek)
Haruna: Wow, I thought he'd make out with Nodoka for sure!
Negi: (Shyly kisses Yue on the lips, making her blush like crazy, then starts making out with Chachamaru)
Yukari: How unexpected. Anyhow, I think Chacha-chan is too busy to do that dare... (Glances at Chachamaru and Negi) Haruna?
Haruna: Got it! (Starts drawing)
Yukari: Eva-chan forced Negi to take a bath? Was that in the manga, cause I don't recall that happening in the anime. I've never read the manga... Sorry. And Negi's also busy.
Yue: It's cold. Can I please put some clothes on?
Yukari: No. Next, we have a letter from MOeMoE KaGAmI:
Sayo~
Don't worry I'll give you a dare
Slap Asuna in the face then if she asks why tell her it was the voices
Also, Sayo, have you ever used your ghost powers to peep into the bathhouses?
YYUUUEEEE, tell Negi you love him than start slashing him with a katana
Asuna, do you like it when Negi slips into your bed, and be honest
Oh, and for Negi make him read Fullmetal Alchemist and then ask him which character he likes best, Ed or Al
Still LOVING the story!
Sayo: (Slaps Asuna)
Asuna: Eh, Sayo? What'd you do that for?
Sayo: Th-The voices told me to do it!
Asuna: ...Eh?
Yukari: Sayo, have you peeped into the baths before?
Sayo: Uhm... Once... A few times... Every morning...
Yukari: How interesting. Yue?
Yue: N-N-Negi!
Negi: (Stands up, clothing all ruffled) Yes, Yue-san?
Yue: ILOVEYOUNEGI-SENSEI! (Starts slashing with a katana)
Negi: (Running away) Yue-san! What's going on?
Konoka: (Still beating a now seriously bruised Setsuna with a shovel) Why do I get the feeling that someone has stolen my act?
Asuna: Of course I don't like it when he gets in my bed! Okay, maybe just a little.
Yukari: Negi?
Negi: (Being chased by Yue) I'm a bit busy at the moment!
Yukari: Uh huh, Let's do another letter now. This letter is from JeeP MonkeY:
ah hahahahahaha, priceless XD
alright here's my dare
1. Asu to drink a bottle of hot sause(conveniently labeled VOLCANO sause) she must then kiss all other contestants.(evil laugh)
2. Sayo to reveil anything embarassing that she knows about the other contestants(from when she was still un-noticed as a ghost)
3. Yukari to push the closest person to her into the fan-pit, and of course laughing in an evil voice.
Asuna: Uh... (Hesitantly drinks hot sauce) Hothothothothothothot!
Yukari: (Pushes Nodoka into a kiss with Asuna)
Nodoka: Mph! (Pulls back) That's hot... (Passes out)
Haruna: Wow... (Also gets pushed into kissing Asuna but doesn't pull away)
Yukari: She sure can take hotness... Sayo?
Sayo: Well... Asuna is so obsessed with Sailor Moon, she once almost went so far as to do that with the manga store manager just for a volume of the manga she couldn't afford.
Asuna: SAYO!
Sayo: I'm sorry Asuna-chan! Oh, and Nodoka used to have a big crush on Konoka. She talked to Yue about it all the time.
Nodoka: (Passed out)
Sayo: And Haruna really wants to make a threesome with Chisame and Kazumi.
Haruna: Huh?
Sayo: And-And...
Yukari: That's... enough. (Pushes Setsuna into the fanpit, laughing menacingly) HAHAHA! *ahem* It's better than getting beaten with a shovel isn't it?
(Setsuna falls into a group of yandere and gets beat even more)
Yukari: How ironic.
Konoka: Does that mean I can stop beating up Secchan?
Yukari: Whatever. We still have one more letter though. It's from Storm Brisingr:
Haha, gomen. About the Nodoka "less than honest reasons" I meant have you ever used it to peek into another person's mind just for curiosity? *Not* for any world-saving reasons? And Yukari-chan, can you put down who the guests'll be so I can dare/truth them too? Anyways:
Dares:
- Chisame, dress and act like Chiu throughout the entire next episode.
- Setsuna, enact one fantasy you've had about Yue *to* Yue.
- Asuna, confess your love to anyone... and then make out with them.
Truths:
- Sayo have you ever used your "invisibility" to spy on other people?
- Evangeline, who do you like better, Chachamaru or Negi?
Nodoka: That's what you meant? Then yes, I have. Plenty of times. Like on Yue-chan, Yuka-san, and... uh, Zazie-san. (Shivers)
Zazie: ...?
Yukari: Sure I will; no problem Brisingr-chan! Chiu-Chiu... is gone... I'll tell her next episode. Setsu's also elsewhere. Uh, Asu?
Asuna: WHAT? (Eyes watering from hot sauce) FINE! (Makes out with Yukari)
Yukari: WTF? Holy Jesus that hurt!
Asuna: That was to get back at you! (Turns away)
Yukari: Owwie... Y'know, if you say 'Owwie' multiple times it sounds like you're saying 'Yaoi'.
Asuna: Hmph.
Yukari: Save me, Sayo.
Sayo: Um... Yes... I have...
Yukari: How nice. Eva-chan?
Evangeline: Chachamaru, obviously. I hate Negi.
Yukari: Hmmm... (Flips through mail) That was the last letter. Alright viewer-dudes, guests tommorrow are Zazie, Ayaka, and Mana. So, uh, bye.
Yue: I'M COLD AND I HAVE A HANGOVER (Storms out)