Author's note: …I really can't think of anything to write here right now. Smiley face.
Warnings: Powerful, dark, female Naruto (Naru).
Prepare yourself, Leaf Village…Chapter 1!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Enough said.
Chapter 1: Life with S-class Shinobi.
Naru smiled as she looked up at Pein's tower and the Akatsuki's main base. This place was home to her, it had been for the last five years. Ever since Madara-tousan had brought her here, she felt…happy. She had him to play around with, especially when he pretended to be Tobi. Then he acted all goofy and it made her laugh. She also had Nagato-niisan and Konan-neesan. The two had taken a liking to her immediately, Nagato even going so far as to always leave one of his Peins to watch her. She really liked the tricks and amazing things her neesan could make out of paper, too. Her room was full of paper decorations.
Naru's smile widened as she remembered her dad's recent promise. He had pulled her aside and told her he was going to start training her soon, which made her really excited. She always wanted to be a kunoichi, just like her neesan was. She thought Konan was awesome.
She even liked the town of Amegakure. The people here were nice, friendly, and kind to her. They often let her hang out with their own kids, and nobody held it against her that she was the jinchuriki for the Kyuubi no Kitsune. People here were smarter than anywhere else, Madara told her, since she knew that in Suna the Ichibi's jinchuriki was frequently targeted for assassination. Here, though, she was well liked and respected by the public for what she constantly held at bay. She was a bit saddened by the fact Madara wasn't her real dad, but he was the only dad she ever knew, so she quickly got over it.
Flashback:
Madara crouched in front of a four-year-old Naru. "Naru, I need to tell you something. You weren't born here. I found you four years ago lying abandoned in Konoha."
"Found?" Naru repeated, confused.
Madara nodded. "The village that day was attacked by the nine-tailed demon fox." He explained. "The Yondaime Hokage sealed it in you, his daughter, in order to protect the village."
Naru looked at him. "So, you're not my real daddy?"
Madara blinked. From what he told her, this was what she focused on?
"But then, you play with me and give me a home and ramen." Naru smiled. "You're more of a daddy than that other person was, tousan."
Madara smiled as well. It was just like the girl he saw as a daughter to ignore the biggest issue.
Later that day, he had Pein announce Naru's burden to the public.
End flashback.
Naru thought about the other three members of her tousan's group. Her 'uncle' Kakuzu, despite his greedy money-focused personality and his cold demeanor, was a nice enough person to her. He knew that because she was his Leader-sama's surrogate little sister, he couldn't hurt or kill her, so he did the next best thing. He befriended her.
Kisame was friendly and fun to hang around with. When they first met, she found his pointy teeth a bit creepy and she told him so, and he just laughed. He laughed even harder when she said his blue skin looked cool. They were good friends ever since.
Zetsu she didn't know much. The plant-man was gone most of the time for spying missions, where he was looking for potential new recruits for the Akatsuki. On the few occasions that she did meet him, the white Zetsu was nice to her, but the black Zetsu appeared hostile. She wasn't sure what to think of the man.
Naru was bursting with anticipation. Her dad was away on a mission and he had sent word that he was going to be back tomorrow. She couldn't wait.
Pein looked out through the window from the top floor of his tower, deep in thought. Madara had ordered him to make a statue that the tailed beasts could be sealed into. He also left specific instructions that the statue only accommodates eight beasts, since he had no wish to extract the Kyuubi and kill Naru.
Pein smiled. It seemed the man had grown attached to the little blond girl, and he couldn't blame him. He himself had grown to see the girl as his own little sister. Madara had designated little Naru to be the real leader of Akatsuki once she turned twelve, and Pein felt strangely ok with that. The girl had a good brain in that head of hers, he knew, and Madara had full intention of telling her everything about his plans when she was ready to lead.
Pein sighed and shook his head when he saw Samehada fly off somewhere far into the distance. Really, hadn't Kisame learned by now to avoid Konan when she was on her period?
Pein looked at his watch. Where the hell was that new recruit? What was his name again? Hulan, Hedon…? He snapped his fingers. Hidan. Yes, that was it. Hidan.
Hidan was smirking as he made his way to the tower. Some weird guy in an orange mask had shown up out of nowhere a week ago and convinced him to join some strange group called the Akatsuki.
Flashback:
"Join the Akatsuki." The masked weirdo said. "If you do, you'll find plenty of victims to sacrifice to your god."
Behind his mask Madara sneered. Honestly, what fool believed in Jashin these days?
"Here's the location." Tobi said, handing the man a piece of paper with the information written on it. "Hope to see you there."
"Answer me!" The man yelled. "Who the hell are you?"
Tobi just smiled and vanished.
Hidan sighed and looked at the paper. Amegakure. That was about a week away from where he was. He smiled and began walking.
End flashback.
Hidan stopped smirking as he found the tower. Some brat was in front of the place, staring up at it.
"Hey." He called. "Get away from there. This place is for grown-ups only."
The girl eyed him with an Are you dumb or something? look and started walking in.
Hidan scowled. He was damned by Jashin if he was just going to let some kid ignore him like that. He strode forward, grabbed the girl sharply, and slung her over his shoulder.
"You wanna get in so bad?" He asked. "Well then, let me tell the people in there that you're trying to spy on them."
"Let me go!" the girl yelled, punching the man's back with small fists. "I'll tell my niisan about this, you meanie!"
Hidan just laughed. "Go right ahead."
Hidan smirked at the orange-haired man who introduced himself as the leader as he unceremoniously tossed the blond girl into the middle of the room. "I caught this brat trying to get in here." He announced.
The girl picked herself up, and ran over to Pein, crying.
"Niisan!" she exclaimed, much to Hidan's horror. "That meanie over there hurt me."
Hidan gulped as the four gathered members of the Akatsuki glared at him. (Madara and Zetsu weren't there.)
"So…" he said slowly, trying to survive. "Which one of you is my partner?"
Konan screamed and punched right through the man's chest.
"Oh, that reminds me." Pein said. "Konan, this guy is supposedly immortal, and no wound can kill him."
Konan smiled evilly as she used her knee and put it…somewhere that no man wants to get hit. "That's for hurting my sister."
"I'm sorry!" Hidan wailed. "I didn't know! Please don't hit there again."
Several screams later:
Hidan sighed in relief when Kakuzu finished sewing him back together. "So, you're my partner, huh?"
Kakuzu just sighed. Why did I kill off the last one again? Oh, that's right…he owed me money.
Author's note: Well, there's the first chapter for you. And yes, at times this will look like a crack fic, which is why I categorized it as humor. I kinda see the Akatsuki as a dysfunctional extended family, so they will act like that at times.