TEN
"Then I heard a loud voice speaking from the temple to the seven angels: "Go and pour out the seven bowls of God's anger on the earth!"
"The First Angel blew his trumpet. Hail and fire, mixed with blood, came pouring down on the earth…"
"And all were judged according to what they had done. Whoever did not have his name written in the book of the living was thrown into the lake of fire"
"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. I heard a loud voice speaking from the throne: "Now God's home is with mankind! He will live with them, and they shall be his people"
"… The Angel carried me to the top of a very high mountain. He showed me Jerusalem, The Holy city, coming down out of Heaven from God and shining with the Glory of God. The city shone like a precious stone, like a jasper, clear as crystal"
–Extracts from The Book of Revelation, The Bible
"What?" Martin was shaking his head in bewilderment. "We're in Nazareth and we've come to see Jesus?"
"Yep, that's where we are and that's what we're here for, isn't it?" The Doctor said, pushing the bottom of his lip out as he spoke.
"Well, yes…. I suppose… I just never thought…" Martin began.
"Well, let's get on with it then." The Doctor began walking back towards where the TARDIS was parked. "We're going to need a change of clothes. We can't go down there dressed like this. We'd stand out like a hippo at an 'All Ants' party!"
"But, Doctor" Martin shouted as the Doctor stepped through the TARDIS door, "I cant speak… what is it… Ancient Hebrew? How am I even going to be able to understand what Jesus is saying?" He looked back around at the primitive city below, shaking his head at the crazy sentence he'd just muttered.
The Doctor pocked his head back outside the door. "Don't worry about it. Marty. Neither can I!" He tapped the side of the time machine affectionately. "The TARDIS does all the translating for us. It's gets inside of your head and decodes the neural interfaces. Think of it like a 'Universal Translator'… you know, like in Star Trek!" His head vanished inside again. "I'm not even speaking English now" He shouted, "Or even anything remotely 'human', come to mention it! I'm an alien, remember? I'm actually speaking ancient Galifreyan…" His voice slowly disappeared inside the ship.
Martin let out a laugh. What a crazy situation to be in. Only hours before he had buried his Nan and now he was time travelling with an alien and going to meet Jesus. He knew that Jesus was the only man his Nan spoke of with more clarity and love than any other individual. If only she could be here. She deserved to be here.
Martin gazed over at The Doctor's photo album, which had been left face down in his chair. He picked it up and opened it randomly. Let's face it, he thought, any picture was bound to be one of great importance.
He saw a picture of The Doctor stood with his arm around a man that looked a lot like a guy Martin knew who worked at the local supermarket. He wore grey, simple clothes, his skin was a light brown and his eyes a piercing blue. His dark hair was cut quite short and his beard was neatly trimmed.
Martin tapped the image. The Doctor's grin sprang into life, "Go on… Tell them what you've just told me," he said happily, hugging the man tighter around the shoulder.
"God is love" The man smiled with a beautiful smile and the image froze again.
Martin turned the next few pages seeing images of men on horses, beautiful scenery, people shaking hands and even a picture of a man with a bright, multi-coloured coat pulling a sword from a large stone.
Even more pictures showed knights in armour, men with incredibly strange wigs wearing bright make up and soldiers in uniform. Sometimes one of the 'Other Doctors' were stood in the pictures, usually grinning and looking all self satisfied.
Martin realised he must be nearing the end of the book as he started to see faces he recognised. A huge close up of Hitler looking incredibly angry made Martin recoil as he turned the page. He was going to touch the picture but then thought better of it.
Images of hundreds of soldiers fighting in the trenches followed, along with pictures of John F Kennedy, Martin Luther King and Gandhi. One picture showed The Doctor playing guitar behind Elvis Presley, a huge grin across the time traveller's face as he looked, 'hero-worship' like, towards the King. On turning the page Martin saw the 'Old gentleman' Doctor stood disapprovingly next to George Bush. President Bush was looking furious at his obviously unwelcome visitor. The next page brought the unwelcome image of the Twin towers in New York with two gaping holes in their sides.
The next page after that showed two men dressed in shabby clothes clutching Bibles close to their chests. Martin's eyes moved to the next page where he saw huge groups of people burning various flags and books. Next was an aerial shot of a giant military fleet spread out on a huge ocean followed by an image of thousands of soldiers preparing for an obviously massive battle.
On turning the next page Martin's heart froze.
The image was of a deep, red mushroom cloud filling the screen with anger and destruction. Next were pictures of devasted cities, he recognised parts of New York and London among the rubble, and horrible images of charred bodies and death on an unimaginable scale.
Martin's eyes were full of tears and his heart raced as he realised he was literally seeing the end of the world.
He could see that there was just one more page to look at and he turned it nervously wiping his eyes as he did so.
He almost dropped the book as he saw the image of Yahweh's Mother ship floating above the burning world. It was no longer hidden in clouds like before but shone majestically with blues and reds, which sprang out of the dark metal.
With his hands shaking uncontrollably Martin tapped the image.
The sound of the deep trumpet blast of the Angels rang out from the picture as the huge bulk of a ship rotated slowly, shining it's piercing light over the devastation and into the lens of the camera. Giant metallic Angels flew in the darkened, red sky around the craft. They were looking down at thousands upon thousands of human beings who were walking, arms outstretched towards the Mother ship. Most of the humans were dressed in rags, some were horribly disfigured and all were crying desperately.
As the camera swept round Martin could see some of the Angels swooping downward, screaming their deep, juddering cry as they did so. They picked up four or five people at a time, wrapping them in their giant wings before throwing the terrified, wailing humans into a giant lake of bright, burning fire.
Suddenly a man's face appeared on the screen, with the light from the Mother ship behind him making a halo effect around his dark, bloodied features.
"Praise him!" The man shouted manically "God has returned to judge us! Praise God for bringing his wrath upon us! God is great! God is great!"
The image froze on the man's crazed expression.
Martin threw the book on the soil below his feet and cried out with a deep, primitive howl. It was as if the sharp, numbing pain came from his very soul itself.
"What are you doing?" The Doctor's voice suddenly rang out from behind him. "You haven't been looking at my book, have you? You've not been taking a sneaky look at the future…?"
"Yes… Yes, of course I have, Doctor! What did you expect me to do?" Martin turned angrily around at The Doctor who was bounding up to him at quite a pace. "You can't leave a book like that lying around and expect me not to take a look! I thought you wanted me to know anyway?" Martin voice was raised and full of hurt and raw emotion.
"Well, you know… I could have maybe broke it to you more gently" The Doctor said cautiously, bending down to pick up the book.
"What?… More gently than 'Look, Marty, your world is going to end very soon in unimaginable terror and bloodshed and there's fuck all you can do about it'!" Martin looked up at The Doctor, his face contorted with anguish. "Oh and 'Yahweh really is God and he's going to punish you're very soul eternally like nobody's business for been such a useless sinner'!"
The Doctor shrugged "Well, you know, technically 'Hell' doesn't really exist and is just something the Church has played on over the years to scare believers into believing. The 'second death', as it's called, is just 'nothing-ness'… A return to the state you were in before you were born. Even the Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in Hell!" His eyebrows narrowed and he frowned intently as he looked down at the image in the opened book. "And I suppose that means that the JW's were 'right', after all" His eyebrows raised and his mouth dropped, "And that's a bit of a 'living hell' in itself, isn't it?"
"This is Hell, Doctor!" Martin shouted stabbing his finger against the image making it flicker and then pause. "All those billions of people… Dead!"
The Doctor's eyebrows narrowed "Oh, come on, Marty… I thought you were a good Catholic boy? Have you never read 'The Revelation of St John'? You've never heard of The End of Days… The Second Coming… Armageddon? The Two Witnesses that give mankind their 'Last Chance to worship God before The End'? Most of your religious theologies are based around this idea of 'The Final Judgement'. I didn't think that this would be so much of a surprise for you, to be honest"
He looked down on Martin as if almost disappointed in him.
"I don't think religious people are expecting God to be bloody ET, Doctor!" Martin almost spat the words out.
The Doctor shook his head "Well, it's only a small sideways step from what they do believe, if we're been honest, Marty. True, they don't see him as an 'alien', as such, but most believers believe that 'God' is the King of 'Heaven' and he has his Angels do his bidding. And they believe he's perfectly in his rights to wipe out mankind in the most bloodthirsty way possible if he sees fit. After all… they believe he's done it before. Remember 'The Great flood'?"
"But you said…" Martin began.
"Yeah, well, Yahweh didn't cause the Great Flood, but he certainly made the most out of his worshippers thinking that he did!" The Doctor rolled his head to one side. "And also, you see, believers in the 'End Times' very much believe that God will make a physical intervention in the world and literally wipe everything clean and start again. So what if 6 billion people have to die in the process? They believe that God is a god who doesn't like to be questioned and whose judgement is harsh and just. And they believe that 'Heaven' isn't a spiritual afterlife for every body but a physical resurrection for the faithful few to live forever on a paradise Earth. Yahweh…or Jehovah or Allah or whatever he wants to call himself once he is here… He resurrects 144,000 to govern over Mankind with him in the 'Heavens' and the Earth starts again under the iron rule of a great and terrible God!" He raised both hands up to the sky in mock praise "Then mankind can spend all day, every day worshiping The One True God who has finally come back to reek his terrible vengeance over all the world!" He then turned round to Martin and shrugged.
"Well cheers, Doctor, you've really made my day!" Martin shouted sarcastically. "Brilliant! Just brilliant! The world is going to end and God is nothing more than an egotistical alien with a jealous need to be 'praised' every second of every day! And all the love, creativity and accomplishments of mankind are just pointless, puny and totally unnecessary! Excellent! If I could feel any smaller I'd be a… Termite!"
"Oh, I like termites!" The Doctor grinned.
Martin looked up at him slowly. If looks could kill The Doctor would have been lying on the ground, cut into a thousand pieces.
The Doctor paused for just a second and then turned his frown on Martin. "You know when you're out for a walk in the countryside, Marty, and your taking in all that lovely scenery…." The Doctor sat down on the deck chair next to Martin, "Do you think about where you're standing and what you might be standing on?"
Martin shook his head in his best 'what has this got to do with anything' way.
"What?"
"Do you think that maybe every other step you take you may be killing ants, grubs… maybe even the odd termite?" The Doctor's eyebrows were raised.
"I… I don't really know…. I haven't really thought about it" Martin responded carefully.
"Mmmm… interesting" The Doctor said softly.
Martin looked around at him once more. "So what? Now you are saying that humans are nothing more than Ants and Termites to Yahweh and his 'ancients'?"
"Well, you said that not me. I'm just pointing out perspectives" The Doctor let out a slight smile. "Anyway" he said, standing up rubbing his hands together, "All this is irrelevant. Shall we go and see Jesus, or what?"
Martin shook his head slowly as if he just couldn't believe that The Doctor could still ask. "What would be the point? Yahweh's his Dad! He's obviously going to say 'Get in line… Fear God… Yahweh will smite his enemies… Prepare for the end of the world… In the last days I'm going to return on clouds of great glory and God will judge all mankind'." He turned to look at The Doctor "I've heard the story, Doctor… I've seen the story… and it's the most depressing thing I've ever heard in my life!" He lurched forward, rested his elbows on his knees and lowered his head. His whole body shook as he started to sob uncontrollably.
"Is that it then, Marty? Are you just going to give up like that? How disappointing" The Doctor walked around Martin, his hands rooted firmly in his pockets.
"What do you want me to do, Doctor? You've shown me the 'Truth', haven't you? Just like you promised. Well, the 'Truth' you've shown me stinks! Please just take me home so I can die along with the rest of the world… Along with the rest of my family!"
Martin suddenly thought back to his partner at home… Their daughter… His own Mum… His brother and sister…His favourite Aunty… His friends…"Oh my god, my family! They'll all be…" He stopped himself from thinking what his family would be. "It's all because of him, isn't it? This was his plan all along. Create a world… or, at least, influence a mind-set of nations where people will fight over him and about who is right about him! Thus creating a self fulfilling prophecy where mankind brings about its own Armageddon whilst all the time believing they're doing the will of their own particular 'all loving God'" Martin fidgeted, picking skin from the tips of his dried fingers at the same time as wiping his eyes dry. "It'd be brilliant if it wasn't so horrific!" He shook his head and closed his eyes "And with all I've seen… all I've done… all my 'sins'…They'll be no room for me in Yahweh's kingdom… I know that for a fact!"
"Oh, I don't know, Marty" The Doctor said, almost casually, "You could get down on your knees… Beg to be forgiven for all your sins… Praise God to the max and promise to love Him for all time and maybe, just maybe… if He's in a good mood on that particular day… you'd be resurrected to live forever on a paradise Earth"
"I wouldn't want to be, Doctor" Martin said quietly but forcefully. "How can anyone truly love someone they fear?"
He bowed his head between his legs once more. "God is Love? God is Fear!" He started to sob again, "God is fear," he gasped softly between tears.
The Doctor remained silent. He walked a few paces towards the edge of the hill, put his book in one hand, picked up a small stone with the other and gazed intently at it's jagged, grey surface.
After a few more moments he turned around and stared at Martin's lowered head.
"Well… 'Truth' is fluid, you know" The Doctor said calmly, throwing the stone gently in the air and catching it repeatedly.
"What?" Martin didn't even bother to look up; he'd dug out an old hanky from his coat and was blowing his nose loudly.
"Truth… is… fluid… How can all that you've just seen be 'True', eh? It can't, can it? A 'god of Fear'? And an alien one at that? I ask you… you didn't believe all that did you? As you said, 'Where's the love?' Where's the spirituality?" The Doctor smiled down at Martin. "I told you I was here to give you hope… And I am."
He threw the little stone at Martin's feet and Martin could see it now glistened like a perfect ruby. He narrowed his eyes to look at it more intently but couldn't bring himself to pick it up.
The Doctor clutched his photo album to his chest and was stood, once more, blocking the suns rays from hitting the broken man's pale complexion.
"What you've seen so far is 'The Fear of God'. I had to show you that… I had to let you think about that… To remember it… before we moved on to 'higher' Truth… There's more going on here than you know, Marty. There are higher dimensions at work… A grander scheme is in place"
He bent down and picked up the ruby stone from the dirt near Martin's left shoe. He held it up to the sun and peered inside its almost transparent mass.
"Everything we've done so far is to look outwards… We've looked out at the vast universe, we've learnt about ancient Gods from the deep and distant past and we've gazed into a dark, fearful future that has terrified you more than any other thing you have ever seen"
"You're not lying there, Doctor" Martin muttered, his head still bowed.
The Doctor slowly brought the ruby close up to his right eye and tried to look through it at Martin. "Now it's time to go within and learn about the vast universe inside of you. Now it's time to concentrate on this moment right now and not let the past or the future paralyse you with fear"
Martin finally gazed up at The Doctor's face. "What… What are you saying, Doctor?"
"Shall we try again? Shall we change the 'Truth'? Shall we have another thought about it? Shall we see what God would be like if God really is love?" He smiled broadly down at Martin as the man's posture relaxed slightly and hope began appearing on his tear stained face.
"And how do we do that?" Martin asked softly.
"By doing this"
The Doctor closed his eyes gently and clutched the book tighter to his chest. He breathed in slowly and, as he did, his whole body seemed to glow from within. Tiny cracks of light erupted from the book and made gentle, fizzing sounds as it emerged, yet the Doctor's calm smile remained constant and reassuring. His skin glowed as if transparent as bright yellows and soothing whites seemed to dance within his very body.
After a few seconds the radiant glow faded away and The Doctor slowly opened his eyes to see Martin's astonished face.
"It's ok, Marty" The Doctor said smiling calmly at him, "It's all good from here"
He turned the book around so Martin could see the cover. The book looked completely different. It was now a beautiful red colour where as before it was a dark brown. On the front of the book were big, bold letters that said simply 'The Book of Life'.
"So…" The Doctor said softly, "Shall we have another go?"
"Dwell not in the past… Use it to illustrate a point… Then leave it behind.
Nothing really matters… Except what you do now… In this instant of time"
- Eileen Caddy, 'God Spoke To Me'