Into the Dark…

Gibbs woke to find the RN caring for him today at his bedside. He moved to sit up further in the bed and ran his hands over his face. The conversation with Tony had been very frustrating. He hadn't been able to remember anything.

"Yes?" He looked up and she smiled beaming at him. "Medicine time!" she said.

Audrey was more than a little infatuated with him, as were some others. His azure eyes melted her and a few other nurses every time he looked at them. He was in such great shape physically. She reassessed him again. Checking his pupils, listening to lungs and checking vital signs. That, was professional. The rest of the assessment was visual and pure pleasure. Broad shoulders with well developed muscles, deep chest with its thick gray and silver hair and strong arms. His legs! Large artistic hands, long fingers. The silky silver/black hair, the way the bangs fell over his forehead. She wanted to run her hands through it. Beautiful mouth, full lower lip, strong neck. What was not to love? She had been on duty when his wife had helped him shower. The site of him getting into his clothes afterward had kept her distracted all day and very restless that night. The last 4 days had been a procession of young women finding a reason to be in his room.

What had surprised her was that he seemed completely oblivious of every

approach she and the other nurses used. He wasn't rude to any of them. But he didn't converse, didn't offer any information, didn't initiate any contact or ask for help. If they brought his medicine he took it. He didn't ask for it. He did ask about the low dose seizure medication he was on. His voice! The sometimes growly baritone was incredibly sexy on it's own.

He listened to the explanation and asked pertinent questions about side effects and how long he would be on it. He then just nodded and turned back to the crossword puzzles he worked on. Lainy had enlarged them on the computer so he could see them easily.

"You're just waiting for your wife and you can go home, right?" She tried one last time.

"Yes. Thank you for your help." He gave a quick half smile and turned away to reach for his glasses and the clip board. Audrey made one last attempt.

"If anything comes up, any questions or concerns, anything I can do for you even after you go home you know where to find me here, Ok?" She held her hand out to him.

Gibbs looked at her hand and up into her face. The blue eyes looked cobalt at that moment. He tipped his head to the side slightly and gave a nod. He reached up and took her hand and squeezed it briefly.

"Audrey," His lips turned up in a slight gentle smile as he looked at her. "I know you're going to have a long and successful career. You've all been good to me. I thank you. And I know what you've been thinking about me. But I am completely and utterly in love with my wife. Have been for a long time now. I will not be calling you, or any of the other nurses who gave me their numbers. Tell the others I am flattered though OK? Just reach out and live your life OK? It could be all to short. Take it from me."

He nodded to her and put his glasses back on and returned to his crossword.

Audrey gazed at him and smiling softly she turned and left the room.

"Agent Gibbs?" Jethro looked up and saw Ivy standing there. He smiled at her.

"How are you doing?"

"Come on in if you like." He said with a smile. He gestured to the chair next to the bed. She moved into the room and adjusting her sweater she sat down. She answered his smile.

"I'm going home today after my wife gets out of work. I'm doing better. Get a little tired and the headache starts. But it's a lot better. You?" He looked at her with a smile but noticed she was a little pale and nervous.

"I feel a lot better too. It's just a little hard you know? I've been remembering more and more. It's not pleasant. I have regrets. Do you ever have them Special Agent Gibbs?" She suddenly looked up at him. Her light blue eyes were very wide.

Gibbs was frowning. How in the world did he answer that! Why would she ask a question like that?

"I think everybody has them Ivy. My wife's the one who gradually convinced me to simply accept them and move on. You can't live in the past without sacrificing the now. I gotta tell you, it's taken me a lot of years to do that. "

"What if there is no now?"

She was looking down at her hands which were twisting in her lap. There was a light around them, then he blinked. It went away. Her whole body was very still. Gibbs was confused now.

"I'm not sure what you want me to do, I mean say." He blinked, his vision put a blue-white light all around her for just a moment. It made him a little dizzy again.

"I think maybe it's time. I need your help."

She reached out and grasped Gibbs hand. A cool tingling swept up his arm and to his head. The light expanded in front of his eyes until it was all radiance and both wonderful and blinding. Then the darkness moved up and he fell into it.

1800 hours

"Jethro? Honey? Time to go…" Gibbs woke slowly. He'd been dreaming, the wisps moved away from him. He stretched carefully, not moving his neck and head until he was fully awake. An assessment of his aches told him his left side remained tender. Opening his eyes one by one kept them from doubling. He smiled up at his wife. She reached out and gently brushed his bangs back from his forehead.

"How is your head?" Her emerald eyes were clear and showed her concern.

"Hey Babe. It seems better. Just an ache right now. How're you?" He reached his hand up to her face. She leaned in and he slid it behind her neck, pulling her down to his face so he could kiss her. She sat down on the edge of his bed.

"I'm feeling a whole lot better knowing we can sleep in our own bed tonight!" She grinned at him.

"Yeah, I feel good about that too." He smiled. They kissed again, more slowly this time . A cough interrupted them. Looking up they saw Dr. Miller at the foot of the bed.

"I see you're feeling a whole lot better Agent Gibbs. Or should I say Gunny Sgt. Gibbs?" A slight smile touched her lips.

"Either will do Dr. Miller." He gave a slight shrug. "Thanks for helping me out."

"You're welcome. Thanks for saving my life!" The smile was deeper now.

"Let's get you home. It's supposed to storm tonight. I'm sure you don't feel like spending more time here."

Jethro gave her a nod. "Yup, good bet doc."

Dr. Miller instructed them for follow up at Bethesda. "Being you're a Marine it's likely you can follow up with a neurologist there. I have a name…"

Jethro heard a rumble of thunder and looking up saw a flash of lightning. The blue white light made his vision fracture suddenly and a flash of images moved in front of him. Sounds, ceiling lights, blood, smoke and the smell of gunpowder. Then it was gone. He opened his eyes and was relieved to hear Lainy still talking with the doctor. No loss of time this time. Confusion touched him again. He hated this. He sat up slowly and moved to the side of the bed and stood. He went into the bathroom and washed his face with cold water. By the time he came out Lainy was signing release papers. He reached for the duffel. Lainy swatted his hand away smiling. She put the strap on her shoulder.

"Let's go Gunny! Time to roll!" As he turned toward the door she smacked him on his butt.

"Yes Ma'am Staff Sgt!" Jethro forced a grin and they headed out.

They moved into the breezeway and Lainy unlocked the door. She moved in and turned to see Jethro looking at the lightning in the sky toward Quantico.

"Hey, get in here Marine! You have medicine to take and then we're going to watch TV in bed and lights out by 2200 hrs. I've had enough late nights this week!"

She moved across the house to the bath/laundry area by the deck. She left the duffel in there by the machine and when she looked the living room was empty.

She went down the hallway and entering their bathroom she heard the shower running. The door was partially open, the fan on. She stripped quickly and went in.

"Room for me?" She said drawing back the curtain a little.

"Always." Was his answer. "You can help me with my hair? Check the stitches."

"You've had little nurse chickie's checking them for you every hour, even when you were mostly unconscious. I bet they've been prayed over!" She smiled into his face as he slid his arms around her waist and shook his head slowly. He kissed her, their tongues stroking and sliding. They stood for a few minutes then he released her turning his left side to her. She gently checked the stitches and then his side.

"Looks sore but intact. So's the rest of you, but I will do a personal inspection in a few days when your feeling better." She kissed him lightly. "Now you can do my back, I'll make coffee then we go to bed!"

"Yes Ma'am, Ma'am." He said with a crooked tired smile.

They got their coffee and returned to the bedroom. Lainy set her cup down on the bedside cabinet and began fluffing the pillows and setting them up so they could lean against them. Jethro settled in and reached out for her with his right arm. Lainy picked up her coffee and settled into his body, her curves fit into him perfectly he thought as he breathed in the scent of her and kissed her temple. She turned the TV on and went straight to the news.

"This should bore us both to sleep pretty quickly." She said.

"We'd do better with some political bull crap." He said and yawned largely.

"Next thing you know you'll be telling me to put the golf channel on." Lainy looked into his fine azure eyes. She loved the light she saw in there as he smiled back at her.

"Never. Go for AMC or the military channel." Jethro put his coffee down and moved lower into the bed yawning again.

"You go to sleep Marine. I have plans for you that don't involve pain or hospitalization." Lainy moved over him and kissed him deeply.

As she drew back slowly she saw his eyes were half closed and there was a sleepy smile on his beautiful lips. He was asleep before she could even touch her lips to him again. She smiled and turned the TV off, settling herself into the curve of his body and covering his chest with her arm she closed her eyes to sleep on his shoulder.

Jethro moved down the street heading toward his favorite coffee shop. It was windy but not unbearable. He had sent his team home and planned on going himself after he got a cup of coffee to take with him.

He needed his wife. Needed to feel her next to him, to smell her scent, touch her skin, taste her lips. The case had been a hard one and they were stuck right now. They needed a break.

He reached the bistro and opened the door. The scents of different beans flowed out to him as he stepped inside. He moved toward the counter. There was a couple in scrubs seated to the right of him. They were talking intensely. The woman was waving one hand in aggravation. A young woman was seated at the first table near the side door. She had a bag of chips on the table and was sipping on a cup of something. He stepped up to the counter where Fred was wearing a big grinning smile. Not something the usually morose man did.

"Hello Agent Gibbs. The usual?" The man had a fine sheen of sweat on his face.

"My wife said I should try the Jamaican Mix. I'll try that." He reached for his money clip.

Jethro suddenly woke up sitting bolt upright in bed and covered in a heavy cold sweat. He was gasping, the smell of gunpowder in his nostrils. Lainy was holding onto his shoulders.

"Jethro! Jesu Jethro! Come back, come back! Babe?" Lainy looked frantic.

"I…I…I'm awake. I'm awake." He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He tried to stand and fell back down onto the mattress. Lainy scrambled to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Babe! Are you OK? Oh God…Jethro!" She drew him over against her and held him firmly with her right arm and ran her fingers of her left hand up into his wet hair. She kissed his equally wet forehead and held him until his breathing became normal. They remained motionless for a long moment.

"Nightmare?" She said softly and kissed his forehead again.

"I was back in the coffee shop. I was seeing all the things I saw again, but was aware of each of them consciously this time. I saw Ivy and Dr Miller and Max at their tables. I got to where Fred was in front of me and it all dissolved into light and noise. I was falling…" Jethro felt drained.

"Get in the shower. I'll change the sheets. Unless you want some help in there?" She looked anxiously at him.

He shook his head. "I'll be OK." His legs felt wobbly but he made it into the bathroom. He turned the water on.

Why was he having these flashbacks? The fractured skull? He didn't have an appointment with the neurologist until next Tuesday. Exhaustion washed through him as he stood beneath the jet of warm water. He picked up the soap

And quickly washed himself. When he came out Lainy had changed all the sheets.

"Sorry Babe." He shook his head and climbed in and settled down. Lainy moved swiftly to take him into her arms.

"Don't be sorry Sweetheart. If there was ever a reason for PTSD this qualifies. It'll get better." She gently stroked his hair.