FOURTEEN
'Dear God,
When will it be the end of the world? I know it is going to happen, so I want to know when it is so I can get ready. I'd like to have enough time to say goodbye to everyone. Are you going to make another world afterwards or are we just going to all go to heaven forever? Yours, Henry (age 8)' -
'Dear God - Children's letters to God', Carmel Reilly
"Aaahhhh… That's better!"
The Doctor sat down heavily into his seat, munching on a chocolate hob-knob whilst holding on to a hot coffee precariously between his thumb and forefinger. He was wearing his big, brown coat again but he had changed out of his brown pin striped suite and was now wearing a dark blue version. He had even adjusted and gelled his hair into the perfectly messy shape it was in when the two men had first met.
"How's it going, Marty?" The Doctor half grinned in Martin's direction.
"Yeah, I'm cool, Doctor… Though you didn't have to bother for me" Martin said indicating The Doctor's refreshed look.
"Oh, I like to make an effort, you know…" He looked over at Martin's slightly dour appearance… "Unlike some people" He added quietly.
Martin was slightly taken aback "Oh cheers, Doctor…" He said sarcastically, "I have been through quite a bit over the last few hours, you know…" He looked down at his own clothes "And… I have just been to a funeral!" He tugged at the lapel on his own grey coat and gave The Doctor his best 'in case you haven't noticed' type look.
"Yeah, sorry, Marty" The Doctor seemed genuinely scolded and closed his eyes and scrunched his face up as if ashamed at himself. "I get into heavy sarcasm mode sometimes and I just can't shut myself up! Do forgive me… It can make me a right loud mouthed idiot on occasion, especially in this incarnation but…" He opened one eye and looked over at Martin's slightly red face "I wasn't really talking about your clothes" He nodded up at the top of Martin's head at his balding and dishevelled hair.
Martin gasped and put his right hand instinctively towards his head, his face shocked and contorted.
At this sight The Doctor let out a loud laugh, sat forward suddenly and then pushed himself back in his seat kicking his legs out like a child as he convulsed in laughter at his own private joke.
Martin was frowning intently at The Doctor's strange behaviour. "What's wrong with you?" Martin shook his head and let out a little half laugh followed by a couple of sniggers. The Doctor continued to laugh almost uncontrollably, pointing at Martin's confused yet becoming amused face. "What?…" Martin was starting to laugh along. The Doctor continued to squirm and twist and his laughter was the definition of infectious. "What… is… it?" Martin could hardly speak now for his own laughter, which was making The Doctor even worse.
"Your face…" The Doctor managed to get out between gasps for breath. He pointed at Martin who was smiling and nodding happily, his face beseeching The Doctor for the punch line for whatever it was they were laughing at. The Doctor composed himself slightly and nodded cheerfully in Martin's direction "…Your face… You looked so hurt… You looked like one of those little Exalian Slime Monkeys."
Martin's jaw dropped in disbelief, his face returning to the same shocked expression.
"Ha.." The Doctor pointed directly at his face, "There you go again" He literally slapped his own leg as if witnessing comedy genius.
Martin shook his head and returned his features to 'normal'. He was laughing but slightly bewildered.
"I don't even know what an 'Exflavian Slime Monkey' is… or even looks like…" He began.
"Exalian' not 'Exflavian'… And yes, you do…" The Doctor just couldn't shut himself up "It's one of those tiny little ugly things… scrunched up nose… constantly surprised expression on their poor little, squashed faces…"
"Yeah, cheers, Doctor…" Martin stared stony faced and wide eyed "You're really helping 'bathe in the positive and love' now, aren't you?" He added sarcastically. "Talk about 'building me up to knock me down'!"
"Oh, I'm only joking with you, Marty" The Doctor relaxed back into his seat and took a sip of coffee before throwing a whole chocolate hob-knob into his mouth. "Get rid of your ego…" He said between crunches "… There's just no room for egos round here"
Before Martin could comment that The Doctor was perhaps one of the most egotistical people he himself had ever met, the time traveller had picked up 'The Book Of Life' and was stroking it affectionately with his left hand. He winked at Martin and the two men simply smiled at each other.
"Shall we crack on with this then?" The Doctor held his head back slightly as he gazed inquisitively at Martin.
"Yeah… But can I ask you a question first?" Martin lent forward in his chair. "Where did you get that book? And how do I know that what you're telling me is True? I mean… How do I know it's 'Absolute truth'? Am I supposed to believe that that book is 'True' and every other 'holy' book is 'wrong'?"
The Doctor nodded slowly at Martin. "Good question, Marty… Never take anybody's word for it." He looked down at the un-opened book and tapped the cover gently. He leaned forward slightly and half smiled. "You believe what ever you want to believe… If something in this book feels 'right' to you then listen to your feelings because…" He opened the book and pointed at the first page he came to…
Feelings are the language of the soul
He raised his head from the book, sniffed and carried on. "Your soul already knows all of this" he tapped the book cover. "And what we are doing here is getting to the Truth of your soul… The Truth that's already inside you. Your soul speaks to you with feelings. So whatever is said in this or any other book you don't have to believe it's The Truth. All you have to do is look to how you are feeling about it. If something feels 'right' to you at the soul level you will feel it in the very centre of your being. Your own inner voice will tell you the rest…"
He smiled warmly and then dropped his mouth down at both sides. He leaned forward slightly in his chair and then rolled his head back once in a clockwise motion.
"Now if it doesn't feel right to you or you just don't agree with it then that's fine too. There's no YOU MUST OBEY EVERY SINGLE WORD IN HERE clause on this particular 'Holy' book" He looked down the spine of the book as if checking one more time. He shook his head convinced "And that's all the better for it…Because this is about true freedom and total choice. Which, in essence, is what the soul really is…" He looked pleased with himself and then shook his head as if to break himself from his own trance. "But let's not rush on. We can't run before we can walk, can we?" He leaned back in his chair and looked down at the book. "You asked where I got this particular edition" He stroked the cover fondly. "Well…" he sniggered to himself slightly, "That's a story in itself: Giant Kevflapods, a donkey called Dave and a pizza the size of Wembley stadium!"
Martin let out a laugh and nestled further back in his chair. He thought it was best just letting The Doctor rattle on.
"Actually, I think someone did write a story about it at one point" The Time Lord looked genuinely puzzled as if trying to recover a long faded memory. "Terrance… somebody… People were always writing down my adventures. There was a time when I couldn't do a thing without it somebody turning into a six part series or even an audio play! But that was a long time ago, mind you… No one remembers me now, do they?" He looked inquiringly at Martin.
Martin was puzzled at the question but before he could answer The Doctor stood up and walked slowly around his own chair holding 'The Book of Life' close to his chest.
"I got this book from the Ancients… The most highly evolved beings in the Universe… The races that have over come petty squabbles within their own cultures and learnt to live together in peace… Highly evolved beings that have learnt that all the illusions in life are just that… 'Illusions'… And have evolved enough spiritually to understand their true relationship to 'God' and the Universe itself… They've seen 'what works' and would never dream about doing anything that was not beneficial to their collective whole" The Doctor smiled reassuringly at Martin. "They have literally learned… Or, more appropriately 'remembered'… to 'Live as One'"
"They've seen what works? What does that mean?" Martin was frowning whilst sitting back slowly in his chair.
"It means they've seen, for example, that wars don't work… That killing each other in the name of 'God' doesn't work…That suppressing deprived masses whilst corrupt leaders living in luxury doesn't work… That is, of course, if what you are saying you are wanting as a collective species is a peaceful and harmonious world" The Doctor craned his head upwards and looked out into the vast night sky. Stars were starting to appear through the twilight as the universe itself began to make an appearance. "The ancients have observed what works and have, over millennia, created peace loving societies that are based on the principles of One-ness and love. Each soul is giving equal opportunity to express itself and this means a way of sharing all resources with all people that would be incomprehensible to your world right now. Highly evolved beings allow no soul to ever go without. Such is there compassion and love and sure knowledge that they are all one"
He looked back at Martin who was sat staring out into the night sky too. The sky was a deep, dark blue and stars flickered majestically as they had done for billions of years. Martin focused in on a cluster of stars and wondered if the 'Highly evolved beings' were on a planet around one of those suns right now living a life of blissful peace. He tried to imagine how such civilisations could exist and what such a world would look like.
The Doctor was still talking. "You see… and don't take this as a judgement because it's not… but the human race as a species are relatively toddlers on the 'highly evolved' ladder… Both spiritually and physically… In fact, you're barely out of nursery school to be honest." The Doctor bent down and picked up his coffee from beside his chair. "Allowing 50,000 people to die a day from hunger while the rest of the world throw away enough food to feed the every hunger mouth on the planet twice over is not the action of a highly evolved society. Creating weapons that can wipe out all of life one hundred times over and then putting them in the hands of an 'infant' race is not what a highly evolved society would do either." He pointed up at the stars. "There's been many worlds out there that got to this point right now… And when I say right now I mean right now in your time ok… Not 29AD Nazareth … Let's forget where we are for a moment… And these other worlds…they bottled it… Ka boom… Blew each other up… Fighting about 'belief' and who was 'right'…Stupid really… But there you go."
"What are you talking about, Doctor?" Martin had heard enough of The Doctor's ranting. "You're scaring me now."
The Doctor paused and relaxed his expression. "I'm sorry, Marty. But you asked about highly evolved beings and I'm just saying that such a society is possible… It's achievable. It's meant to be helpful… and hopeful. It can be done. That's all I'm saying. It's just a question of intention." He looked suddenly at Martin, his face inquisitive and commanding. "Is that what you want for mankind, Marty? Would you like to live in a world where mankind had evolved so much spiritually that every soul could live in peace and prosperity? A fair world where every single being on the planet had enough food in their belly and love in their hearts? A world where True spirituality was about more peace, healing and love, rather than obedience, suppression and judgement? "
The Doctor stood perfectly still and stared deeply into Martin's eyes. Framed as it was against the setting sun, The Doctor's figure was almost cast in shadow as tiny particles of dust danced around him moving in time with the faint coral hymns been sung in the distance.
Martin stared back at him for a few seconds before turning his gaze away from The Doctor's penetrating look.
"Yeah, of course I would…" Martin shook his head his gaze still aimed at his shoes. "I'm sure a lot of people would love to live in a peaceful world but…" He looked up at The Doctor and met his gaze head on…"It'll never happen" He added quietly.
The Doctor suddenly froze and looked very sad, almost shocked. Without looking he sat down slowly in to his deck chair a look of continued disillusionment on his face. He bowed his head and sat hunched over, resting his elbows on the cover of the book.
He sat in silence for a few seconds picking at a loose golden thread from the book cover.
"Then it won't happen," He whispered gently.
He let out a defeated sigh and looked up dejectedly at Martin. He face was grey and looked genuinely hurt as he looked slowly down at his book, opened it and softly read the first line that he saw.
"Your thought creates your reality"
He looked over at Martin with such a look of disappointment Martin found it hard to meet his gaze "Have you given up so easily? Don't you think that mankind is capable of rising to a higher awareness?"
"Ermmm…" Martin was literally stuck for words. "Well, I'd like to believe it but there are so many problems in the world. Too much pain and brutality that just saying, "Oh don't worry, let's just all love each other" isn't really going to work. But, yeah, I would love to think that we can make a better world through our actions but…"
"No buts," The Doctor interjected, "Not on my show 'cos it's on at 'prime time'." He winked at Martin and carried on. "The human race has a spiritual destiny that can be achieved. This can be done, as it has been done on thousands of worlds out there. You, as a species, are at a crossroads and you must decide collectively which way to go. Do not dis-empower yourself by thinking there is nothing that can be done. You have all the power of the universe inside you and you are creating your life with your every thought, word and deed. I will tell you this…You are evolving spiritually on your planet. Yours is a race awakening from its slumber. They just need some help waking up… You just need waking up! And quickly because time is short and there's much to do." He walked over to Martin and crouched down in front of him. "That's why I'm here now talking to you." He winked knowingly and bit into another chocolate hob knob.
Martin smiled at The Doctor's confident expression. "Why? Apart from apparently telling me the meaning of life, why are you here?"
The Doctor shrugged and stood up. "Well, I'm here to save the world, aren't I? It's what I do on a weekly basis. And the brilliant thing is…" He looked around as if checking no one was listening and then leaned forward into Martin's ear
"… You're here to help me"
'If one desires a change,
One must be that change
Before that change can take place' -
Gita Bellin