FIFTEEN
'If we are truly in the present moment,
And not been carried away by our thoughts and fantasies,
Then we are in a position to be free of fate and available to our destiny.
When we are in the present moment, our work on earth begins' -
Reshad Feild
"I'm here to help you save the world?" Martin was more puzzled than ever.
"Yeah… Great isn't it?" The Doctor beamed his Cheshire cat smile and tilted his head on a slight angle.
"How?" Martin's face was a picture of confusion. "How am I? What do I have to do?"
"All you've got to do is listen to me… Listen to your 'self'… See what you 'feel' about it… And then act on all you know" The Doctor scrunched the bottom of his lip up and then shrugged slightly as if that explained everything.
"What does that mean?"
"Oh, you're always full of questions you, aren't you?" The Doctor was teasing him now. He smiled and winked "Good man. Never stop asking questions, Marty. Asking questions is good"
The Doctor turned around, his back to Martin and faced the ancient city below. He took a few paces away from the deck chairs and walked slowly towards the mountain ledge. He thrust his hands in his trusty trouser pockets and tilted his head back and took in a deep lungful of the fresh, cooling air.
Martin got up from his seat and walked gingerly over to where The Doctor was stood. He followed The Doctor's gaze out towards ancient Nazareth.
What an amazing, breath taking sight. The buildings were bathed in darkness yet candle light shone through creating flickering dances of yellow and gold against the stone walls. Smoke rose from the streets and homes and still the sound of chanting and worship could be heard emanating from the tallest buildings.
"Peaceful, isn't it?" The Doctor nodded towards the city.
"Yes, it looks it" Martin scanned the buildings and streets with a quick glance. "Yeah, from up here it does look peaceful"
The Doctor nodded gently his face was now grave and sombre. "Your world is in trouble, Marty" The Doctor kept his gaze on the city and spoke in his best 'matter-of-fact' voice. "Back in your own time, I mean… The early part of the 21st century… Your world needs your help"
"I'm all ears, Doctor" Martin literally put the tip of a finger on his right ear and pushed it forward slightly, "What can I do?"
"The book…" The Doctor smiled softly and nodded back in the area of the deck chairs, where 'The Book of Life' laid face down in The Doctor's seat. "You must learn to read the book… You must learn to live the book… And then all that you have to do will be clear. And then, eventually, the world will be healed"
Martin frowned in the direction of the book. "Are you saying that that book has 'The TRUTH' in it? That it supersedes the Bible? The Koran? And, if you are, doesn't that make that book just another 'Holy Scripture' to be revered and fought over?"
The Doctor let out a little laugh. "Oh Marty, you can be so funny when you get all serious and play Devil's advocate" He smiled and strode swiftly to pick up the book. He lifted it from it from its resting place and flicked it open. "This book is very different. It's a special book that would speak to everyone in a very unique and different way… Because the way it is written… The only way it can be read… Is by the individual" He drummed on the back cover with his fingers twice and then look down into the book.
Marin was still confused. "I still don't understand what you mean, Doctor"
The Doctor read from the book:
'If you do not go within… You'll go without'
"This book is about getting to the truth of You, Marty. And you already know that the Truth is within you just waiting to be discovered… Now all you need to do is allow yourself to find it there." The Doctor closed the book and handed it to Martin with a confident smile on his face. "It's time for you to read the book, Marty."
Martin took the book cautiously and held it in his hands like it was made from fragile glass. He gazed at the cover for a few seconds and then looked up at The Doctor's expectant face.
"The last time I looked in one of your books, Doctor, I saw my worst nightmares. I really don't want that to happen again" Martin looked intently at The Doctor for reassurance.
"Oh, I promise that it wont happen this time, Marty. The only thing you'll find in there is the potential for wonderful dreams and breath taking realities" The Doctor turned around to sit in one of the deck chairs. "It might take you a while to read it, though. It's not as straight forward as it appears"
"Why? Is it written in some form of alien gobble-de-gook or something? Doesn't the TARDIS' neural interface thing do its job on this?" Martin looked down at the unopened book.
The Doctor laughed gently. "No, the TARDIS doesn't need to translate it. Just open it and see"
With one last sideways look at The Doctor, Martin clasped the bottom right hand corner of the book and began to open it slowly. As the cover turned the first thing he saw was…
…Himself.
He saw himself staring back at himself. The pages in the book weren't pages at all. For inside the book was one long seamless mirror. The perfect reflection didn't bend with the book cover, as it was unfolded. The mirror simply was the inside of the book.
Martin stared into his own eyes for a few seconds before looking up to see The Doctor's beaming face.
"Clever, eh?" The Doctor winked at Martin's still stunned expression.
"If you don't go within… You'll go without?" Martin quoted back to The Doctor the last thing he had read.
"There you go!" The Doctor said happily "Blimey, you're picking it up quick!"
"I didn't read it… I just remembered you saying it" Martin wasn't sure what to make of all this.
"Oh yeah, I see…" The Doctor sat back in his chair and munched on another chocolate hob-nob that had seemed to appear out of thin air. "Let's see if you 'remember' anything else, shall we?"
Martin walked over to one of the deck chairs, the one with it's back to Nazareth, and sat down slowly.
"What do I have to do? There's nothing to read" Martin had stopped looking in 'The Book' and was staring at The Doctor.
"You can start by not looking at me for one. Look in the book… Look in your self… Look inside your self" The Doctor was leaning forward now, his hands interlocked around his knees. His voice was gentle and reassuring.
Martin looked down at his reflection. He looked tired, he thought. He needed a shave. His hair was a mess. Was that a spot starting to appear on his forehead?
"Stop looking at your outward self" The Doctor interrupted. "That's just your shell. The 'You' we are after is not your body. Look deep into your eyes… Go as far as you can and then keep going… Keep going… The eyes are the windows to the soul"
Martin stared intently into his own greenish blue eyes and tried to relax his concentration and posture.
The Doctor's voice was smoother than ever and the choral chants from the city melted inside his sound "The soul is the highest part of yourself… It is the source of all knowledge… Tap into the soul and you will experience all the wisdom and love of God…."
Martin was truly relaxed now. He could feel himself falling into his own eyes and the memory of the beautiful glow he'd experienced earlier was returning so vividly he could almost feel it again.
"Doctor…?" Martin panicked slightly and drew himself out of his own gaze.
"Don't be scared, Marty. There's nothing to be scared of… There's only love here… There's only love" The Doctor nodded encouragingly at Martin to continue. "It wont sweep over you like last time, Marty… Not if you don't want it to"
Martin returned his gaze to the mirror. He breathed out slowly and relaxed his breathing, allowing himself gradually to be 'inside' himself once more.
"Now, think of a question you'd love to be answered" The Doctor said softly. "If there's one thing that would make you feel 'better' about life, what would it be? What one answer you make you feel… comforted?"
Martin already knew his answer and the words were forming powerfully in his mind:
'Life is Eternal'
"Say it, Marty, I know you can feel it" The Doctor was leaning as far forward in his chair as he could. "Say it out loud so I can hear it"
Martin looked up from the book, tears were in his eyes and his voice was cracked and brittle. "Life is eternal," He said softly.
The Doctor smiled warmly. "Yeah, and do you know who brought you that little gem of a sentence?" He nodded at the book.
"Yeah, I did… Through the book"
The Doctor nodded again. "Yes, you did… although you had a little help. Take another look"
Martin frowned and looked back into the book. He stared at his eyes for a few seconds before realising… those weren't his eyes. They were female eyes. Beautiful kind, blue eyes he hadn't seen since…
"Nan?" He gasped quietly in disbelief. "Nan? Is that you?"
The eyes smiled lovingly and Alice Briggs' angelic face slowly became a solid reflection inside the mirror.
She looked much younger than Martin remembered her but it was unmistakably her. There was none of the pain on her face that Martin had seen so much over the last few months. Now she was radiant, transformed and angelically beautiful.
"Nan… It is you…" Martin could contain his tears no more and wept as he spoke.
"Don't cry, love" The reflection spoke "There's nothing to cry about. I'm here… I'm always here"
Martin was overcome with emotion. An intense sensation was taking over him again and he felt he might slide into unconsciousness at any second. "But I saw you die… You were in so much pain"
"I'm not in pain anymore" Alice Briggs smiled the smile of Martin's childhood, her voice was just how he remembered it when he was eight years old and he used to visit her every school lunchtime. "I'm at home again… I'm at home with God…Where no pain exists and no shadows fall. And I've come here to you now to give you this one truth… A Truth that will be the first of many but the one you needed to hear now so you could stop thinking sadly about me and start remembering joyously all the times we shared… And all the time we've yet to share"
Martin wiped tears from his eyes and gazed lovingly into his Grand Mother's radiant face. "That life is eternal?" Martin whispered.
Alice smiled proudly. "You always were a smart boy"
Martin laughed and touched the mirror tenderly, stroking his Nan's cheek. "I love you, Nan… And I miss you so much"
"I love you too, and I'm always here when you miss me. As soon as you think of me I'm here beside you and I have been since the moment I left you. So stop worrying about me. There's nothing to worry about. Life is eternal…"
Her image began to fade slowly and Martin could see his own reflection moving into view. "Nan! Don't go! Please don't go again!"
"I'm not going anywhere… Didn't you here what I just said? Even if you can't see me or even hear me, I'm still here." Her voice was disappearing inside the wind. "I'm always with you… Life is Eternal…"
And then she was gone.
'Dear God,
When my Nana comes to Heaven will she be old like now, or will she be young again? I saw some pictures of her when she got married and she was beautiful. It would be nice to meet her like that. Love, Dana (age 8)' -
'Dear God - Children's letters to God', Carmel Reilly