Author's note: …I really can't think of anything to write here right now. (Smiley face).

Aiseki0Hikari: Thanks, glad to amuse :) I don't sleep much and I hate school too. Kindred spirits rule!

Edwardphan4ever: LOL, thank you!

Thanks to you all for reviewing!

Warnings: Powerful, dark, female Naruto (Naru).

Prepare yourself, Leaf Village…Chapter 8!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Oh well.

Chapter 8: Chunin exams!

Next day:

Naru looked up when her students approached her. She frowned at Sakura, 'Hn'ed at Sasuke, and smiled at Sai.

Sasuke looked at her, visibly impressed. "You speak emo?"

Naru smiled at him. "Learned it when I was nine. My family thought it might come in handy someday."

She laughed mentally. Tousan made sure I know how to speak emo when he sent me on this assignment. Speaking of which, isn't the Akatsuki mine now? Oh well, Nagato-niisan and Tousan can rule it for a while longer.

Sakura brought her out of her musings. "So what did Sasuke-kun say?"

Flashback:

"If you say "Sasuke-kun" in my presence one more time, I'll kill you."

End flashback.

Naru scowled. "You wanna rephrase that?"

Thankfully, at that moment Sai intervened. "If I call you dickless, will you look in your panties again?"

"No."

"Dammit."

"Anyway, we were supposed to do a teamwork test today, but I don't feel like it, so here goes. Sai, do you think you can work with Sasuke?"

"Yes."

"Sasuke, do you think you can work with Sai?"

"Hn." (Yes.)

"Great. Sakura, do you think you can do something? Anything at all?"

Silence.

"Sakura?"

More silence.

Naru sweatdropped. "Okay. Here are your forms for the Chunin exams. Fill them out and hand them to the Hokage tomorrow."

Naru bit her thumb and summoned a hawk.

"Yes, Lady Ghost?"

"Tell Pein that he can rule the Akatsuki for a while longer."

"Yes, Lady Ghost." And the hawk flew off.

Naru frowned at her students' faces. "Oh, crap. I could have waited until you left, couldn't I?"

Sasuke smirked. "Hn." (We don't care that you're in the Akatsuki.)

"Really?"

"Hn." (Yeah, they don't want the Kyuubi so they're not a threat to Konoha.)

"Good point. Thanks, Sasuke."

"Hn." (Don't mention it.)

"YOU'RE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL AGAIN!"

"YOU DON'T TEACH US ANYMORE! STAY OUT OF THIS!"

An angry grumble could be heard.

"Ok. Go enter the Chunin exams. Have fun, I hear torture is the main theme this time."

"Hn." (That's just great.)

"I know, right?"

Konoha Academy, second floor:

Sasuke looked around. "Hn." (Looks like we're the first ones here.)

"Yep."

"Hn?" (Naru-sensei? What are you doing here?)

"I was bored. Came with you guys."

Sakura burst out. "How can you understand Sasuke like that?"

Naru sighed. "I told you. I speak emo."

"Hn." (Finally, someone I can talk to.)

Team Gai showed up at that moment.

Tenten smirked and made a peace sign at them. "Wassup, bitches?"

Neji pointed at Sasuke and Sai. 'Neji will defeat you! Neji is a good boy!"

"And suddenly I feel like I'm back in Amegakure."

"Hn." (Hn.)

A green blur appeared in front of Sakura. "YOSH! I am Rock Lee, Konoha's handsome devil!"

"Oh…crap."

"Hn." (Somebody get him away from here!)

"Sakura-chan, I shall protect you with my life! Will you go out with me?"

"Sure."

"Really?"

"F*CK NO!"

"Your language is most unyouthful! I shall do 500 laps around Konoha to regain my springtime of youth!"

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" A red fox with nine tails appeared in a puff of smoke.

"Yes, Lady Ghost?"

"…"

The fox started laughing. "Oh, man, that was priceless." She howled. "Lady Ghost. Ha!"

The fox looked at Neji and grinned. "Does Neji know who I am?"

"It is not part of Neji's fate to care."

The fox sighed and vanished, only to reappear behind Lee.

"Pathetic mortal fool. Your behavior and attire is harder to tolerate then the Shinigami."

Lee perked up. "YOSH! I must meet this Shinigami. He sounds like a worthy opponent."

"Believe me, you meeting him would be the best thing ever to happen to the rest of us."

At that moment, Team 8 joined them.

"Oh yeah!" Kiba yelled. "Wassup, fellow teams, let's aim for our dreams! This exam will be a blast, set the sail and raise the mast!"

"W…T…F?"

"Rapping he likes." Shino informed the others. "Loud and annoying it can get."

Naru raised an eyebrow and turned to Hinata. "So…he rehearsed this?"

"Y-y-y-y-es. H-h-h-h-e d-d-d-id." Hinata replied quietly.

Shino nodded sagely. "Shy and timid she is. A kunoichi's strength must she awaken."

Naru looked around. "Ok, we got eyebrow, fate-boy, hn-man, fangirl #useless, stutter bug, normal bug, rapper, root-boy, and twenty. Where are fat-ass, fangirl #pathetic, and my boyfriend?"

"DON'T CALL ME FAT…oh wait, it's you. Yes, I'm fat."

Shikamaru and Ino walked up behind Choji. "Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered, kissing Naru on the cheek.

Sakura looked around. "Maybe we should go to the third floor now? I mean, that's where the exam is."

Naru looked at the Genjutsu-free room behind them. "Where the hell are Izumo and Kotetsu anyway? They were supposed to weed out the idiots before the exam."

By Konoha's gate:

Izumo leaned back in his chair. "Oh man, this is the life, no cares, no worries, no trouble…"

A guy in a black cloak with red clouds walked up to them. "Hi, I'm Itachi Uchiha."

Izumo's chair fell over backwards, knocking both him and Kotetsu out.

"Aw crap." Itachi sighed. "Now I can't get in because those two have to sign me in on the visitors' roster. I'll just come back in six weeks then." And he walked away.

Izumo tilted his head slightly. "Did he buy it?"

"Hn." (No.)

"Crap."

Academy third floor:

A guy in glasses walked up to the rookies and Naru. "You guys shouldn't be so loud. You're attracting attention to yourselves."

Naru looked around the empty room. As she watched, a gust of wind sent a tumbleweed flying across her vision.

"Dude, there's no one else here except us and the Sound and Sand teams. Cole Martin eliminated all the random extras from this story."

Kabuto nodded and pulled out an envelope. "Oh, that reminds me. Some guy asked me to give you this letter if you mentioned Cole."

Naru took the letter and opened it. Inside it read: YOU'RE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL, DAMMIT!

Naru screamed. "I'll get you yet, Asuma-sensei! Mark my words!"

Hokage's office:

"Asuma, you are so screwed."

Academy third floor:

Naru gave an appreciative smile to the Sand team. "Nice job on the scenery though, Temari, Gaara."

"Hey, what about me?" the cat-boy complained.

"Kankuro, shut up or I'll kill you."

"I REALLY feel like I'm back home in Ame."

"Hn." (I should come visit someday.)

Naru looked around the still empty room. "I still wonder what happened to Izumo and Kotetsu."

By Konoha's gate:

"So Yuugao and Hayate started dating?" Itachi inquired, taking a sip of sake. "What about Naru? She dating someone yet?"

"Shikamaru Nara."

Itachi sprayed his sake all over Kotetsu.

Academy third floor:

Ibiki appeared in a puff of smoke and looked around at the distinct lack of Chunin who were supposed to appear with him.

"This is the last time I ever use Chunin for this. Next time I'm making Shadow Clones."

He then looked at the Genin. "Ah, but this small number of morons I can handle myself anyway. All right, sit wherever you want. I'll hand out the written tests in a minute."

Standing off to one side, Naru was thinking. I wonder what Izumo and Kotetsu are doing right now.

By Konoha's gate:

"Well, it was fun catching up with you guys." Itachi commented, waving back at the two guards. They smiled after him.

"Man, what a great guy." Izumo commented.

Kotetsu nodded. "But now that he's gone, we can go back to chilling out. Just sitting back, watching the clouds like a Nara, thinking about getting laid like Sai…"

A guy with blue skin and an overall shark-like look appeared before them. "Hi, have you seen my partner anywhere?"

Kotetsu screamed.

Academy exam room:

Ibiki headed back to the front of the room after handing out the tests. "Alright, the test has nine questions yadda yadda yadda, the tenth will be handed out later yadda yadda yadda, this is a teamwork test yadda yadda yadda, if you get cheating five times you get a zero."

"Hn." (I'm walking on sunshine, woo hoo. I'm walking on sunshine, woo hoo. I'm walking on sunshine, woo hoo, and I like to feel good.)

Ibiki scowled at the Genin. "Begin!"