Chapter 3

"Why don't you two go out for a coffee?" my mother suggested after dinner was over. She gave me an encouraging look. "Perhaps go out for donuts?" She was trying to tempt me.

"Donuts? Where?" Grandma Mazur said, bounding into the room as fast as her old legs would allow. "I just got back from the Blackberg funeral. Fudge brownies and an open casket, woo hoo!"

"Adam, this is my mother, Edna," my mother told him, she was blushing from embarrassment. You'd think after being raised by Grandma Mazur, my mother would be a lot like her. Apparently not. My mother was embarrassed by all of us.

"Hiya!" Grandma said. "Are you Stephanie's date?"

"Uh," Adam said awkwardly. "I don't think so." Grandma found that answer acceptable, and went on to talking about the funeral. My mother looked saddened by Adam's response. I used the distraction to slip out the door. I got outside and rushed to my car. I couldn't risk being noticed. I got in my car and turned on the ignition, but I heard a knock on my window. I turned, fearing my mom had caught me. But it was Adam.

"Hey," he said. He wasn't trying to be sexy like Morelli and Ranger would. But he did look desperate, similar to my other date set-ups. "I need a beer, how about you?"

"You want to get a drink with me?" I asked.

"Did we not sit through the same dinner?" he asked. "Yes!"

"Well, I don't know if I want to."

"Well, how about a ride to a bar?"

"Fine," I gave in. "Hop in." He got in the passenger seat and we headed out.

"Interesting car," Adam commented. He flicked the wrench I was using as a window opener.

"Yeah I know, it's a piece of trash," I agreed.

"No, I like it," he said. "Reminds me of my old car."

"You have a better one now?"

"I don't have one at all," he told me.

"Did it explode?" I asked.

"No, just died," he answered. "That would have been cool though."

"…No it wouldn't have," I mumbled.

We found an Irish pub. I at the last second decided I did want to get a drink. I was a bit more used to the dinners at the Plum house than he was, but I still shared the sentiment.

"How old are you?" I asked him when we were inside. The bartender had carded him.

"27," he told me. "But I guess I look younger." 27? Gack! I'm older. "How old are you?" he asked me back. "Your mom didn't say." I wonder why.

"Around your age," I replied.

"Okay, and what's that?"

"…Around." He silently laughed at me and I scowled. "I'm not old enough to have babysat you. How's that?"

"My older sister is 30, and when she was 13 she babysat 10 year old me."

"Can we get off the subject of babies?"

"…We weren't talking about babies…"

"Barkeep!" I called out. I downed my drink in seconds. He gave me another one.

"So," Adam said. "Anyway, how many of these have you been on?"

"What, drinking binges?" I asked.

"No, set ups."

"Not too many," I said. "It's only when I'm single that she does it."

"Yeah, I heard that from your parents' neighbors. What's the guy's name? Mozzerelli?"

"Morelli," I corrected.

"Never met him," Adam said.

"He's a cop, you will."

"You aren't seeing him, Morelli?"

"Not right now."

"But you will?"

"Barkeep!"

"Is this the way you avoid things?" Adam asked.

"Only when I'm in a bar," I told him.

"Well, you're driving," he said. "Maybe you should cool it. And, I'll stop talking about things that make you uncomfortable."

"Sounds good," I said. I waved away the other drink. I didn't need it now. "So, what made you move to Trenton?"

"I thought New Jersey would be fun," he said.

"And what do you think so far?" I asked.

"Well, aside from this bar, the only other event I'm been to is work, and your parents' house."

"Yeah, how on earth did you get mixed up with them?"

"I got a ride in your Dad's cab yesterday."

"I see," I said, not really seeing it. "Did my Dad plan this set up?"

"Your Mom was riding in the front seat. I had to listen to her vent to your father how much it was hurting her seeing you unwed. She eventually dragged me into the conversation."

"The hell?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said laughing. "She asked me, 'Would you like your daughter frittering around with two bad boys? I cop and a thug!'" His imitation of her voice was downright spot on.

"What could you possibly have done or said to make her invite you to dinner?"

"I gave her advice."

"Do tell?"

"Well, first I said she should leave it up to you to find the right guy," Adam said. "She didn't like that answer."

"Of course she didn't, she's my mother."

"I then bullshitted her and said that her set ups probably weren't the right guys for you."

"That's not exactly bullshit," I commented. "It's true."

"Let me finish," he reasoned. "I said that you probably needed a guy who was exciting, like the cop and the 'thug.' He needs to have an interesting job, and not be boring."

"You're getting warm," I said. "But then how'd you get rooked into this?"

"Ouch," he said, but then he continued. "She asked me what job I had. I told her, and she deemed it, 'interesting.' So, that's how I got invited to dinner."

"And you accepted?" I judged.

"Hey," he said. "Free food!" We both laughed, we both understood the awesomeness of free food.

"This is going to sound forward," Adam said after we were tired of the bar. "But do you want to come back to my place?"

"Uh, I don't know," I said. "I don't really know you."

"I don't mean to fuck, just to hang out."

"Hang out? What, are we in middle school?"

"I would ask you if you only go to men's houses to sleep with them, but I know you'd just call the bartender over here."

"No I wouldn't," I told him.

"You would too."

"Would not."

"Would to…"

"Okay! Now we really are in middle school," I joked.

"If you could at least give me a ride home, I'd appreciate it," Adam said.

"Hope you get your own car fast," I said. "I'm not going to do this forever."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Adam said. And then he led me out.

"Where we headed? I asked.

"I don't know the street names very well, I'll have to give you block by block instructions." He said.

"Got it," I replied. Adam directed me down the street, around the corner, and then down the street behind the bar. He had me park in front of a gross looking pizzeria. A pizzeria, that was directly behind the bar.

"My apartment's up there," Adam said. I could see his emotionless face turn into a laugh.

"Hilarious," I said. I got out and headed toward the steps. I waited for him to swagger over. I knew he was feeling victorious. He typed in his security code, and we went up.

I ended up staying the night. And no, it's not what you think. I was tired from the booze, and didn't feel like driving. I slept on his futon.

"Wake up Lady Snores-a-lot!" Adam called out to me. I got up feeling disheveled. "It's 7," he said. "Figured you'd need to get to work."

"7?" I asked irritated. "Who gets up at 7?"

"People who work 9 to 5," he said.

"Who does that?" I scoffed.

"I do, and I want to lock up," Adam said. "And, I'd love a ride to work."

"Unbelievable."

"I could call your Dad for a ride." Adam suggested. "I'm sure he'd like to see you here at 7 in the morning."

"Ugh, I'll give you a ride," I gave in.

"Figured that would work," he said, feeling victorious again. "You might be 30, but you are about as brave as a child who did a no-no."

"Ha ha," I commented.

We left a half an hour later. I insisted that he give me breakfast. When we headed toward my car, I saw a squad car on the corner. Even though most cop cars look the same, that one looked familiar. When I drove past it, I saw Eddie Gazzara sitting inside eating a donut. Our eyes locked on each other. I waved awkwardly, and he laughed with his mouth full of powdered dough. He was going to tell Morelli, I knew he would.