Chapter 12

I don't want to be negative, I generally try to be the opposite and give things a chance. But, Adam is one of the worst lays I've ever had. At first I thought I was just biased. After experiencing both Ranger and Morelli, it's not surprising that I could be ruined for all other men. But, Adam seemed really terrible.

Not that I was entirely shocked. He had only slept with one other person. Likely she'd been just as inexperienced, so he probably never thought he had to improve. Or maybe he wasn't bad in bed. Maybe my standards were way too high. Wouldn't surprise me. Oh who am I kidding? He sucked.

The problem with Adam is that he seemed to be the type whose goal in sex was to just get it done. He reminded me of my mother's description of sex she'd given me when I was a kid, about how it wasn't meant for fun but for procreation. He was just focused on ejaculating. He didn't seem to be focusing much on the pleasure of his partner. I tried to aid him in any way I could, but he just didn't get it. And to make me even more embarrassed for him, he blew his load really fast. Well, okay maybe not really fast. But faster than some of my other partners. I knew he just wasn't as practiced. But still, it was a buzz kill.

Afterward, not too long after we'd started in my opinion, we lay there cuddling. Unless he was a really good at hiding it, he was acting like everything had gone well. I personally was kind of hoping I could have my bed back to myself. God I'm a bitch.

"It's getting late," I finally said.

"Not too late," Adam said. I could hear his confidence in his tone. The 'Good job, Adam,' pride parade was still going on in his head. Poor guy.

"Don't you have to work tomorrow?" I asked.

"Only a half day," he said. "On weekends I work mostly from home."

"I'm going in early tomorrow," I lied.

"Really?" he asked. "I thought you were out of bad guys to find?"

"Uh, 'bad guys' don't stay away for long," I said.

"Oh, I guess that's true," he said. I hoped that he'd get the hint to get dressed and go home, but poor little Adam was just too thick. "Ready to go to sleep then?" He got himself out of our cuddling position and started plumping his pillow.

"Are you staying?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah, I figured I would," he told me. "Why?"

"Um…just asking?" I covered. "I figured you'd want to go home."

"Naw," he said. "Your place doesn't smell like hot cheese. I definitely want to stay here."

"Okay, then." I myself started to situate myself for sleeping. Hopefully I'd conk out fast. Wow, I am really terrible. Seriously. I've never wanted to get away from someone so desperately in my life. Maybe I was just still cranky from my orgasm mission being aborted. "Night," I said.

"Night, honey," he responded. Gack.

The next morning when I woke up, he was gone. Had I dreamed that entire night? I kind of hoped I had. Until, I saw a note taped to his pillow.

A friend of mine came into town this morning, I got a text from him while you were asleep. Don't worry, this wasn't a one night stand.

-Adam

I showered until the water ran cold. I had changed my mind about Adam's performance last night. Not about how well he'd been, but about how much I hated it. I bet he wasn't feeling nearly as proud of himself as he'd been acting. He was probably aware that I hadn't liked it. And although he might have told the truth about why he left before I woke up, I'm sure he wanted to get out.

As I drove to work, I thought more about Adam. I didn't want to cop out of a relationship based on sex. It was the first time he'd had sex in a long time. Maybe he had been rusty. Maybe he would improve. Also, dumping someone for being lousy in the sack sounds like something Morelli would do. And I was not Morelli.

But then I reminded myself that for most of my relationship with Adam, I had been unsure if I wanted to be in it. And most of that indecision existed before I'd slept with him. But basically the indecision had come from worrying about sleeping with him. This was annoying. Should I stay with him or not? One thing was for certain; I didn't want to dump him before I gave him one more chance. That chance probably wouldn't include sex though. I hoped he would be okay with that.

"Good morning," I said as I went into the bonds office.

"Hey," Connie said, not looking up from her magazine. "No new bonds yet."

"That's okay," I said. Connie finally looked up from her magazine and politely smiled at me. She then looked back down.

"Donuts over on the table over there," she said. I went to get one, and realized something as I bit into the jelly filled snack. Connie hadn't commented or reacted to the recently laid me. That wasn't like her.

"I got the coffee!" I heard Lula call out as she came in the door. Lula. She'd say something. I knew she would.

"Hey," I greeted her.

"Hey," she responded. Nothing. She hadn't noticed yet.

"How are you?" I asked her.

"Fine," she said.

"Cool," I responded. There was silence in the room. Connie ended up looking up from her magazine. She looked at me, and seemed to be contemplating something. She was sensing something about me, I was sure.

"How are you, Stephanie?" she asked.

"Good," I replied. "Really good."

"Well, that's nice," Lula said. I looked over at Connie, she had gone back to her magazine. Whatever she'd picked up about me had stopped bothering her. This made no sense. How could they not tell I'd had sex last night? In the past they'd always known. Not that it mattered, but still, it wasn't like them.

"I slept with Adam last night!" I blurted out. Finally Lula and Connie reacted.

"You did?" Connie replied shocked.

"Whoa!" Lula responded.

"Yeah…I did," I said, holding my chin up. I knew it was coming. The teasing, the comments about my mood or how I was looking, the judgment. It was coming. Generally I hated when they acted like that. But I was used to it, and expected it.

"So much for 5 dates," Lula said. There was the judgment. "But thank god you jumped him, I was worried about you."

"Yeah, it wasn't planned," I told them. "It just happened."

"It's the best way," Connie commented. And then, they went back to ignoring me. The fuck?

"That's it?" I blurted out again. What was wrong with me today? Why was I obsessing over their reaction? Was I looking for approval?

"Huh?" Connie asked, looking back up from her magazine.

"Uh, nothing," I said. I knew it was best to shut up now.

"No, what?" Connie asked.

"Yeah, I'm curious too," Lula said, folding her arms and staring at me.

"It's nothing," I tried to convince them.

"Doesn't seem like it," Lula argued.

"Well, it is," I looked away from them.

"Steph, what's wrong?" Connie asked.

"Nothing," I repeated.

"Come on, Steph. Fess up," Lula said. "It's obviously not nothing."

"It's…" I stammered. I was about to say 'nothing' again. "I'm just…used to you two reacting differently. That's all."

"How were we supposed to react?" Connie asked. "You bagged someone, woo hoo!"

"Let's just forget it," I said, trying to shake the conversation out of my head.

"Hold up now, you've got me curious," Lula said, putting her hand up. "What do you feel is wrong here?"

"Ugh," I groaned. "It honestly is nothing. I'm just used to you two teasing me and commenting on it more and stuff."

"Oh, okay?" Connie said, still confused.

"I think I see what she's saying," Lula told Connie. "It's generally really obvious to tell if Stephanie had recently gotten some."

"Oh yeah," Connie said, getting it. "She's usually uncommonly relaxed."

"Satisfied," Lula added another way to describe it.

"Yeah, and generally we have to pick on her a lot before she will admit it," Connie said. "But this time she just blurted it out. That's new."

"Yeah, that's what I meant," I said. "I'm used to you guys just instantly knowing."

"Yeah, how come we didn't this time?" Lula asked Connie.

"I don't know," she replied. "Now that you mention it, it is strange."

"Are we losing our touch?" Lula asked.

"No way," Connie disagreed. "It's not possible."

"Unless," Lula hypothesized. "There's something seriously wrong that happened that clouded our abilities."

"You, 'sex detecting,' abilities?" I joked.

"Steph," Lula asked very seriously. "Is Adam, not…good at it?"

"What?" I asked. Shit. Now I got it. "He's…fine. Gr-reat!" I stuttered.

"Uh oh," Lula said. "The boy toy…SUCKS!" And then Lula and Connie got turned into a tornado of condolences on my behalf.

"No! No! No!" I yelled. I hadn't wanted them to guess that part.

"Dump him," Lula said.

"What?" I was shocked.

"He's a sex retard!" Connie squealed in disapproval.

"I can't dump him for that!" I told them.

"Dump him!" I could hear Vinny yell from his office.

"How long has he been in there!" I squeaked.

"The whole time!" he answered for Connie.

"God damnit!" Adam was going to kill me. If a sex fiend like Vinny knew, everyone would know. He'd tell his buddies, it would somehow reach the Burg, and then Adam would dump me. Morelli and Ranger would find out for sure. No! No! No!