Guilty Pleasure

Waking late the next morning, Ciel sighed as he turned to find the bed empty, the comforting warmth gone. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he sat up with a wince and pulled the sheets over his waist and shifted his stiff legs. Leaning back against the pillows as he idly stared about his room, Ciel smiled to himself.

There was a knock on the door and he quietly granted Sebastian entrance. The man wheeled in a cart like any other morning, the aroma of tea and scones making Ciel's stomach rumble. Like always, Sebastian handed him the newspaper, but this time, Ciel put it aside.

Sebastian shot him a knowing smile as he poured the tea. "I trust the master slept well last night?"

Taking the offered cup, Ciel took a sip, the tea's heat spreading through him. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so…so damn happy. As proof, he didn't think twice about saying, "You didn't have to leave, you know."

"It would go against my butler aesthetics, my lord," Sebastian said, and Ciel rolled his eyes.

"I hardly doubt that."

Smirking, Sebastian took a seat next to Ciel and leaned over to capture his lips in a kiss. Ciel felt himself flush for a moment as he realized just who was kissing him, but the strangeness of it all vanished as quickly as it had come. He kissed back.

His dark eyes mischievous and speaking volumes of what could happen in the next few minutes, Sebastian commented as a hand ran under the sheets, "Yes, you seemed to have slept very well last night, my lord."

Ciel placed his teacup on the nightstand so it wouldn't spill.

Adjusting his necktie in the mirror, Ciel marveled for a moment at his two blue eyes. The mark wasn't there and after a minute, he berated himself silly for having such a wild imagination. As if he could have a contract with a daemon. It really was an absurd thought.

Reaching for his comb, he untangled his slightly damp hair into the usual fashion. After that was done, he moved over to the wardrobe to fetch his gloves and doing so he looked down at his hands. He blinked as he regarded his wedding and engagement bands.

"Shit," he breathed quietly as he slumped into one of the nearby chairs. He stared at the rings and for a moment, everything seemed to unravel into a messy situation.

Running a hand through his hair, Ciel was suddenly consumed by guilt. He had cheated on Elizabeth, hadn't he? And with Sebastian – his butler – no less. Everything quickly seemed excessively complicated.

Then again, Elizabeth didn't have to know, did she? Ciel could only imagine her reaction if he told her. There would undoubtedly be waterworks and word would definitely get around. You couldn't hide this type of thing, you couldn't confide in one person. His reputation would be tarnished, and his family's name would be damaged. Ciel could only envision what his parents and family would think, and he was sure that his company would decline considerably. Not to mention that it was quite illegal to be with a man as well.

Twisting the bands around his finger a little anxiously, Ciel knew deep down that he couldn't cut Sebastian loose. There was a bond that he had never thought possible between them now. He wasn't willing to give Sebastian up to keep his status.

Perhaps this could be kept behind closed doors? Ciel never liked the idea of an affair before, and now he was facing that very option. It was appealing, yes, but he knew it was wrong. Would it be right to give into temptation? Or would it come back to bite him in the arse?

Ciel knew that it wouldn't be fair to Elizabeth. He never liked lying to her but as he stacked her up against Sebastian…

Standing up and grabbing his gloves, Ciel pulled them on, as if hiding the rings would solve this problem. Sadly, this method didn't work. He grabbed his coat and top hat and made his way downstairs, where Sebastian was waiting for him, dressed in his usual uniform.

He didn't have any more doubts about Sebastian. There was nothing to fear, nothing he had to watch for. Sebastian had yet again earned his trust, and this time, Ciel held the real power that Sebastian was all too eager to bend under.

His butler led them out to the waiting carriage, the late spring sunlight already warming Ciel through his coat. He got in, Sebastian right behind. The footman whipped the reins, the horses pulling them to their destination.

"What business do we have today?" Sebastian asked as they traveled deeper into the city.

"I'm buying a dress," Ciel replied, and before he could even attempt to clarify, Sebastian made a sarcastic remark. Blushing, he protested, "For Elizabeth, you moron!"

Sebastian leaned back in his seat, his hands folded neatly in his lap. "Whatever you say, master." Then he smirked, "Though, I'd say you'd look best in something frilly and pink."

Resisting the childish urge to kick his butler, Ciel merely crossed his arms, fighting down his reddened face. Ignoring the last comment, he explained, "I was hoping that we could keep this underground."

The atmosphere turned serious, but Sebastian's smile still remained. "I understand, my lord. However, don't you think she'd figure it out eventually?"

"If you think I'm just going to buy her things in hopes of keeping her occupied, you're mistaken," Ciel said, watching at the passing shops and people. "Elizabeth is smart, and she will figure it out if we're not careful. If anything, the servants will be more troublesome to keep an eye on."

"Do you think it's worth it?"

Ciel looked Sebastian in the eye, his hands tightening uncomfortably. "Not with how far you've already dragged me into your shenanigans."

Sebastian raised a brow. "Did I drag you, my lord?"

"You know what I mean."

The carriage rattled as they settled into less than comfortable silence. Ciel had a good idea that Sebastian liked this relationship as much as he did, but that guilt still nibbled at the back of his mind. He'd have to keep it secret and work around any complications; at least he was already good at that.

"Oh, Ciel! It's beautiful!" Elizabeth exclaimed, holding up the spring green dress with evident affection. "It's even got the mutton sleeves; oh, I'll definitely be the envy of my friends for sure!"

Ciel watched with wary interest as Elizabeth spun around like she was fourteen again. He really didn't know what "mutton sleeves" were, but apparently he had bought the right dress. His wife set the garment neatly down on the bed and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.

"I'm glad you like it," Ciel said, a little unnerved by the intimate contact. He hugged back, though, not wanting to ruin Elizabeth's good, unsuspecting mood.

Letting her husband go, Elizabeth clapped her hands. "While you were gone, I made some arrangements for summer parties. I wasn't too sure about your schedule, so you'll have to fill me in before I send out invitations, alright?"

At the sound of "parties" Ciel inwardly sulked. "Of course." He took her hand and led her out of the room, intending to go to the sitting room where Sebastian was preparing an afternoon snack.

"So how was your trip, dear?" Elizabeth asked, entwining their fingers.

"It went well," Ciel answered, keeping his eyes focused ahead. He wasn't about to mention the headaches and asthma attack. "Father introduced me to a friend of his and I'd say he steered me in the right direction for expanding overseas. I'll probably spend a couple days making phone calls."

"How wonderful," the blonde girl gushed, moving closer to Ciel so that their arms touched. Ciel managed to return a smile as she looked up at him, and even succeeded to peck her on the lips. Elizabeth sighed blissfully.

Somehow keeping Elizabeth content suddenly seemed effortless.

The summer months passed easily enough. England bloomed with life and color, its citizens taking advantage of the social season eagerly. Parties and various other communal events were held, and day trips were made.

Elizabeth worked around her husband's schedule once he gave it to her, and they hosted two large parties. There was dancing and food under the sun's heat and the moon's glow. Everyone including the servants enjoyed themselves. The Phantomhive estate never had a boring day.

Between his work, Ciel managed to spend enough time with Elizabeth. Whether it was a trip to the Mundesley beach in Norfolk or travelling to Oxford to watch a sports team, or having a simple picnic in the gardens, they spent an appropriate amount of time together. Sometimes Ciel would spend a day hunting with business associates after a hard day's work, or even once with his wife's brother Edward. Elizabeth's friends came often, and they spent the day planning events or gossiping.

His affair with Sebastian had gone unnoticed. Sebastian proved to be just as sly and careful as Ciel knew him to be, and they made their daily trysts with ease. Whether it be in Ciel's office or deep in the gardens or in the carriage when he visited business partners, they always found time. Ciel never doubted the other to turn on him, and he had grown to crave his butler's touch, and Sebastian was always willing and ready to serve his master.

In the middle of July, Ciel had received a call from his father and not a day later he had left. He had helped his father with a case from the Queen, and quite frankly it was easy enough to solve, if not boring. But he never let his disinterest show, and he feigned ignorance from time to time, all the while enjoying the time with his father, watching the man work. The case didn't take long, and he was back in Elizabeth's loving embrace within three days.

This reminded him…nights with Elizabeth were the worst.

It was awkward and embarrassing some nights. They were both older, and Ciel knew what married couples were allowed to do in the privacy of their bedroom. He didn't want Elizabeth to suspect anything, but Ciel also didn't want to do some of the things she surprisingly suggested.

"I can't remember the last time we…" Elizabeth trailed off one night, lazily tracing her fingers down his buttoned nightshirt, her chin resting on his shoulder, close to his ear.

Ciel resisted the urge to squirm under her wandering fingers as they started to unbutton his shirt. This already had happened a couple times, and he knew that she wanted something out of him that wasn't an excuse that he had a headache or a long day.

"Elizabeth, can we no –"

Unexpectedly, she pulled him back and leaned over him, kissing him hard with a passion that he could never return. She drew back after a moment, confusion swirling in her green eyes. "Ciel?" Elegant fingers trailed down his torso and he accidentally jerked away. "Is something the matter?"

Pulling himself up, Ciel didn't meet her questioning eyes. "I just…" Crap crap crap. His thoughts turned to Sebastian for a moment, and how much passion he had for the butler and he felt guilty again. But he couldn't tell Elizabeth. He couldn't.

"Don't you want children, Ciel?" Elizabeth suddenly asked, an almost desperate, sad tone to her voice. "Don't you want to start a family?"

Ciel could tell that that was what she wanted, and the question shocked him. He was eighteen, and it was normal to start families at that age. Yet Ciel couldn't imagine such a thing. It was almost an absurd thought. Him, a father? He resisted the urge to laugh and forced himself to look Elizabeth in the eye, suddenly knowing what he had to do.

Shoving that annoying voice in the back of his mind to the farthest corner, Ciel took Elizabeth's hands and answered coolly, "Of course I do, just not right now." His gut tightened as he lied, but he ignored it. "I'd rather it just be us for a while, don't you agree? Maybe in a year or two we'll be ready."

This quick compromise appeared to not work for a second, for Ciel thought Elizabeth would protest about her friends already starting families or something equally ridiculous. "Are you sure?" she asked, as if it really mattered to Ciel and not her.

Nodding, Ciel swallowed the lump in his throat as he leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss before gently settling her back against the mattress, hoping for the best.

It was late August now, and Ciel wiped the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief, not really in the mood to fill out the paperwork before him. It was hot and humid for the past week and a half, and he wished to just soak in a cold bath. Elizabeth was visiting with friends outside Cambridge for the week, and although he had offered to come as an escort, she had declined, saying that women were becoming more and more independent nowadays. Ciel didn't have much to say to that, and he waved goodbye as the carriage wheeled away, Sebastian dutifully by his side.

"This is ridiculous!" he exclaimed as he pushed away from his desk, sprawled out in his chair as if that would alleviate the heat. He removed the jacket he wore, but that didn't really help, and neither did loosening his necktie.

It was yet another slow day, and he desperately wished for the afternoon heat to pass, eager for the evening's coolness. Yet the sun shone brightly and insects hummed, somehow adding to the heat. Ciel groaned.

There was a knock at the door and Sebastian came in with the afternoon snack, appearing to be unaffected by the heat. Ciel glared at him for it.

"Oh my," Sebastian said with amusement as he took in his master's prone form and lack of jacket. "I suppose I should fetch some lemonade instead?"

Unwisely, Ciel threw his head back and retorted, "Anything that'll cool me down." He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He expected to hear the door open and close, but the sounds never came and he reopened his eyes.

He nearly jumped when he saw how close Sebastian had come, but the man muffled any sounds as lips attached to his own. The humidity and heat seemed to increase tenfold and Ciel felt too sluggish to push the butler back. Sebastian turned him in his chair and stooped between his knees.

"What are you doing?" Ciel gasped, his body temperature almost too unbearable with the close proximity.

"Cooling down my master," Sebastian replied back, and Ciel was about to question his methods when the butler pulled out a covered bowl that he had hidden behind his back. He plucked the top off and grabbed one of the items inside and pressed it to Ciel's lips.

Water dribbled down his chin as he couldn't resist the ice cube, his tongue darting out to lick the rapidly melting treat. Sebastian pressed a cube into his mouth and claimed another kiss. Ciel relished the contrast of hot and cold as the butler went to work with unbuttoning his shirt.

Hot hands roamed over his chest and Ciel clumsily pulled the annoying gloves off, not liking the friction they created. He groaned as Sebastian licked his neck, swirling an ice cube around his nipples and down around his abdomen. The ice melted quickly against his heated flesh, and Ciel fidgeted between the hot and trickling cold, kicking his shoes and socks off in the process.

As Sebastian kissed him again, Ciel bit at his butler's bottom lip, moaning as the other's clothes rubbed against him, heating him up further. "Se-Sebastian…too hot…" he breathed heavily, his hands tugging at the black jacket and tangling in equally black hair.

Sebastian pulled back grinning, his eyes appreciating his wet looking master, as well as the sizable bulge in his trousers. "Shall I draw you a cold bath, my lord?" he asked cheekily.

Ciel glared at him. "You did this on purpose," he accused.

Sebastian laid a hand over his heart. "You shouldn't think so ill of me, my lord." He eyed Ciel's discarded shoes and slightly drenched shirt and smirked. "I was only doing what would be in your best interest."

Ciel scoffed and pushed himself out of his chair. He plucked another ice cube from the bowl and popped into his mouth, enjoying the coldness of it. Buttoning his shirt back up and pulling his shoes back on so as to not look ridiculous to any of the servants, he ordered, "Have it ready as soon as possible."

"Yes, my lord."

Ciel had always taken care to make sure that he didn't spend too much time with Sebastian in front of the servants or Elizabeth. He had learned that the servants gossiped within themselves, and Ciel didn't want them talking since Sebastian was one of the more important servants of the household.

But tonight he didn't really care, as it was the last night before Elizabeth was due to return. He was sure that Sebastian would make some kind of excuse to stay away from the servants' quarters for so long, so he didn't worry. The heat wave had finally passed and he rested contentedly on his bed, waiting for his butler.

Sebastian came a little while later and they had their fun, Ciel having no shame that this it was done on the bed he shared with Elizabeth. It would be an easy enough task to change the sheets before she arrived. They were never really able to get very far from just kissing and touching during the day for fear of being discovered, and they made the most of this night.

Spent and satisfied as he lay panting lightly against the pillows, Ciel wondered why he hadn't found Sebastian attractive in his dream. He soon found that it didn't matter the more he thought about it, and soon he discarded the train of thought altogether. Sebastian's arm wrapped more firmly around his waist, and Ciel sighed.

"You seem to be exhausted lately, my lord," Sebastian commented quietly, a finger lightly tracing his abdomen.

Ciel closed his eyes at the light touch and sighed again, resting his head against his butler's shoulder. He had been much more tired lately, hadn't he? "It's probably just the heat…and paperwork."

Sebastian chuckled. "Of course," he said, and rolled over so that he was on top of Ciel. He leaned down and deeply kissed his master. He smirked as he pulled back. "You're quite lethargic, actually."

Ciel made a slightly annoyed face, but it was interrupted by a yawn. "You've made your point," he managed. "I'm just thinking."

Kissing up the side of Ciel's jaw, Sebastian pressed their bodies together, letting one of his hands run down his master's spent body, hoping to cause a spark so that they could continue their previous activities. "About?"

Surprising Sebastian with his renewed strength, Ciel flipped their positions, but did nothing to continue his actions as he lay flush against the other man. He listened to Sebastian's heartbeat, his eyes drooping as he found another hand and laced their fingers together. "Stuff," he breathed.

The man beneath him chuckled, obviously understanding that he didn't want to elaborate. "Sex appears to affect your vocabulary, my lord." Nonetheless, he wrapped his freehand around Ciel and held him close. They remained silent for a while, and just when Sebastian thought that his master had fallen asleep, Ciel spoke up.

"Do you think this will last?" was the question and Sebastian shifted so that they lay facing one another.

Ciel sleepily gazed into those regarding eyes. Ever the dutiful butler, Sebastian answered, "It will last as long as you want it to."

His toes curled underneath the blanket. It wasn't quite the answer he was looking for, but Ciel really didn't want to argue.

"Do you wish for it to last, my lord?"

"Don't call me that. Not here." He wasn't sure if it was because he was drowsy from sex or if he was just going soft, but somehow that title right now was annoying. Ciel breathed through his nose as Sebastian caught his lips in another kiss.

"Do you wish for it to last, Ciel?"

Ciel remained silent for a time, glad that there wasn't a pressure from Sebastian waiting for a reply. He moved closer to the butler, thinking briefly of when Elizabeth asked him if he wanted a family of his own. The answer was an obvious "no", and he concluded that he was just thinking too much. Sighing into the comforting chest before him, Ciel said nothing, hoping that Sebastian's warmth would calm his frenzied mind from such thoughts of the future, and that everything would work out for the better.

A/N: So I leave this chapter all snuggly and warm ^.^ But will it last? O.o Stay tuned for the next chapter and please review!