Chapter 13: Whispers

Byakuya felt Renji freeze as his lips claimed the redhead's and his hands took hold of Renji's face, holding him in place as he kissed him harder and more passionately. Inside his mind, Tohma's voice sounded…soft and quiet…directing him as though there with them.

This will not be difficult for you, I think. Abarai is vulnerable to you, especially while the pain is fresh in his mind. Use it. Show him your emotions as you attempt to put the past behind you and let him comfort you. And when he comes close, bind his heart to yours and weaken his resistance. It's all right for him to touch you…to hold you…to make love with you. Only you and I will know what this is really about…

"T-tai…chou…" Renji whispered, between the heavy, penetrating kisses, "Taichou…Byakuya…st-stop…stop it…"

Byakuya stopped kissing him and instead rested his head against the redhead's shoulder. He brought his lips to Renji's ear.

"I am sorry watashi no koi. I know we should not do this…that it is wrong and Tohma could find out. But Renji, the weight of everything feels so heavy to me right now. I feel such pain inside that only your touch reaches. My heart feels like it breaks over and over again. I am surrounded in darkness and you are the light that helps me find my way. I thought that I could live without you, Renji…that I could bind my heart to noble duties and see them through, no matter the cost to my heart. But the weight of doing that is unbearable now. You are an endless source of hunger I cannot sate and I feel like I am starving for you."

"Taichou…"

"Please don't abandon me, Renji. Don't leave me in this darkness alone. Tohma is a horrible man, and all I know in our marriage is pain. I know it is wrong, but I only ask you to take a little of the weight from my shoulders, to take a measure of the pain from my heart. If all you can do is lie down with me and hold me in your arms now and then, I would die to just be held by you, Renji."

Renji's fingertips touched his face gently and slid lightly down the skin of his throat. He gazed longingly into the dark, longing eyes and hesitated.

"I know the pain is awful for you, Taichou, but you are not alone. Rukia is back now and will be home. I am here to listen, but it's not right for me to touch you like this. Deep down, despite everything, you know that…"

"So…you are refusing me?"

Renji looked back at him sadly.

"I know you are hurting, but you have to believe me when I tell you…you have friends who are working right now to help you get away from him. But this way you are suggesting…Byakuya…I have known you a long time now. I know you well enough to know that you would not cross this line while married to anyone. And this being a royal marriage, if we are caught together, it would be the death of both of us."

Byakuya stared at him, mentally weighing the strength of the resolve in his words. Tears filled his eyes and he allowed one to slide down his face.

"Of course you are right, Renji. Please forgive me for being weak."

He slipped out of the bed, ignoring Renji's instant protest.

"Taichou, please, lie down. You are overly tired and under too much stress…"

"I am fine. I will be fine. I think I returned here too soon. I should go…"

"I'm sorry, Byakuya. I know I hurt you," Renji said.

"It's not you fault, Renji. The fault is mine. I knew that what I asked you for was wrong. And yet I asked anyway. I should not have done that."

He looked back over his shoulder for a moment.

"Ginrei once told me that the hardest thing to do when one is noble is to accept that nobility and loneliness go hand in hand. You can depend on no one. You must always be able to stand on your own, and you must never give in to the weak need to share your pain. My apologies. I will not ask you for anything more."

He left the room and returned to his desk. He took a moment to dry away the tear that had fallen, then began to pore over the papers that waited there. As he worked, he was aware of Renji returning to his desk and after watching him quietly for a few minutes, the redhead returned to working as well. Byakuya kept his expression even and his face and body tense and composed. All the while, Tohma's words continued to sound softly in his mind.

He was your lover. He will know posturing when he sees it. Sit quietly and look normal, but leave that tension for him to see. It will wear on him to know you are in pain and hiding it. Let him think about it…

He could feel Renji's eyes straying to him every now and then, and he could feel the light, questing touches on his reiatsu. And Renji was not one to be able to hide his feelings. His reiatsu fluttered and vacillated all afternoon. Several times, he seemed on the verge of saying something, but he managed to stop himself. The redhead seemed both relieved and guilty when the end of the day came and they said their goodbyes. Renji stopped him at the door and met his eyes warmly.

"Taichou…don't let yourself feel as though you are alone in this. We are still with you. We are all carrying a measure of this burden."

He set a hand on Byakuya's shoulder and blinked in surprise when Byakuya flinched and caught his breath.

At a vulnerable moment…let him see this…

The redhead frowned and reached for Byakuya's shihakushou to look beneath it. As his hand touched it, Byakuya captured the hand and moved it to his lips for a moment.

"Do not concern yourself," he said softly, "Look only at the surface, because you do not wish to see what is beneath."

Let him see it…

As he turned and opened the door, the breeze caught his shihakushou and lifted it lightly. Renji inhaled sharply at the sight of heavy bruising on the shoulder he had touched.

"T-taichou…"

He met Renji's eyes for a moment, then flash stepped away. Renji stood at the door for a long time, looking in the direction he had gone with troubled eyes and a hand over his tormented heart.

"Shit…" he whispered, "Great going, Abarai…"

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya sat quietly at the dinner table beside Tohma, listening as Rukia recounted her latest mission. The prince was smiling and chatting lightly with her, and asking Ichigo about the mission that had brought him to the Seireitei. His heart ached at the worry beneath Rukia's smile…at the furtive glances from Ichigo, but he kept his expression calm and his reiatsu quiet all through the meal and politely excused himself for a walk when he was finished. He had left the garden and was nearly to the waterfall, when he heard Tohma's flash step and the prince appeared beside him. Tohma smiled and slipped an arm around his shoulders. When they reached the top of the waterfall, Tohma spent several long minutes burying himself in Byakuya's warm mouth, making comments about how lovely the moon looked. Byakuya smiled at him and answered every question he was asked…but beneath the posturing and forced responses, he ached with loneliness. He still felt Renji's warmth radiating around him, still remembered being held in his arms…the way it felt when Renji kissed him…the taste of the redhead's lips…

"What is it?" Tohma asked him softly.

The prince slipped a palm beneath his chin and lifted his eyes.

"It's working, isn't it? You are starving for him. No…don't apologize. You are serving me well, Byakuya. But…you were not successful."

Byakuya met the prince's eyes warily for a moment. Tohma gave him an odd smile.

"Summon your zanpakutou."

Byakuya gazed at him questioningly, then made senbonzakura appear in his hand. Tohma's hand settled over his on the hilt of the weapon and he rested his head on Byakuya's shoulder, smiling as Byakuya winced. He slipped his fingers beneath the noble's shihakushou and stroked the bruised area.

"You see what happens when you stimulate a pain response, ne?" he said quietly, "You learn to block it out. Your pain makes you stronger. Now…I gave you a mission and I am sure that you tried hard to complete it. But as you did not, I think you need to strengthen your body and your resolve. Summon your ban kai."

Tohma watched and nodded in approval as the pink blades rose around them. He stepped forward and bared Byakuya to the waist, then did the same to himself. He held the noble against him with Byakuya's head rested on his shoulder.

"Enclose us in the blades."

The blades fluttered into a huge, beautiful pink sphere around them, cutting them off from the outside world.

"Your zanpakutou is a part of your own soul. And you have mastered that part of yourself beautifully. And the way that you mastered its abilities is through competition and struggle to dominate the spirit within it…to make it obey your commands. Now you will apply your expert control to force your blades spirit into making a single attack…controlling the exact pattern of cuts on our skin…controlling precisely the length and depth, and the places the blades will make contact."

"No," Byakuya objected, pulling away and staring at him, "It is not in this blade's nature to injure me, nor is it in mine to ask to be injured. I cannot do this."

Tohma's eyes glinted dangerously.

"Really, Byakuya? What of the zanpakutou rebellion, did he not attack you readily enough then?"

"He was under the influence of…"

"And in all of your battles, have you not found it once necessary to inflict damage on yourself, using your own blade?"

Byakuya froze, remembering.

"It is only a small shift in the state of your mind. Your zanpakutou attacked you because you lost control of it to another…and you cut your own body because it defied your control too, ne?"

Byakuya stared at him breathlessly.

"Now, you will show your dominance over zanpakutou and body. Go on…"

"Tohma…I…"

"Do you think, Byakuya, that you are in a position to disregard what I say?"

The prince held their bodies tightly against each other.

"Of course not. You are royal by blood, and I noble and sworn to serve you, but…"

"And I decide the way you will offer that service. I gave you a mission, which, try or not, you failed…and I have ordered you to take this action to make yourself stronger and more resolved. Do this now or you will receive a harsher punishment."

Byakuya looked back at him, unafraid.

"Then punish me however you will. I will not do this," he said quietly.

The prince's eyes grew stormy and his lips tightened.

"You refuse to obey me?" he asked in a dead calm voice.

Byakuya stared at him wordlessly.

"Then…if you will not exert power over your weapon and body, I will do it for you this time…only…remember that if I invoke my royal power to gain control of your zanpakutou, I will not have the precise control you do. Think carefully, Byakuya…"

Byakuya pulled away and willed the sphere of petals to fall, then froze as laughter sounded behind him and the petals around the two spun faster.

"You have refused to obey me and have forced me to steal your weapon's destructive power. Now, you will pay the price for this disobedience."

Byakuya caught his breath as the reiatsu rose around them to a staggering level. As vast as his own power was, the birthright power of the spirit king's son was overwhelming. He broke out in a sweat and struggled for breath. It took every bit of his strength just to stay on his feet.

I won't…fall…

The petals swirled wildly around them now, the prince's reiatsu making them shiver and become erratic. Tohma closed in on the trapped noble, wrapping his arms around and turning his face into a protective shoulder. His own head bowed and his face burrowed into the noble's throat. Byakuya closed his eyes and clung tightly to the prince as the power around them raged and began to move inward.

"Sen…" Byakuya whispered.

I am sorry, Master…

He tried as a last resort to use a kido spell to deflect the incoming blades, but held in such close proximity to his royal superior, his own powers failed. As the blades reached the two, he let his breath out in a terrified hiss, hanging on to nothing more than a resolve not to scream as the pain exploded through his body. The scents of blood, sakura and fire swirled in the air around the two. Byakuya felt the sting of a multitude of cuts…and the sensation of blood cooling on his skin. A light-headed feeling passed over him and his legs threatened to collapse. He took a cautious breath and opened his eyes.

The sphere of petals still spun dizzyingly around them and refused to dissipate at his command. He lifted his head from Tohma's shoulder and met the prince's eyes warily.

"You wonder why we are still enclosed, don't you?" Tohma asked, surprising him with a firm kiss, "Those two back at the manor…your sister and her friend, are attempting to use stealth to watch us closely. They are in the trees, watching now, because they have sensed the use of our power. It is necessary for us to mislead them."

He ran his tongue lightly over one of the many cuts on the noble's shoulder, employing healing energy to make the wound disappear.

"This is none of their business. It is between you and me. We will heal each other before opening the sphere…and then…"

XXXXXXXXXX

Rukia and Ichigo watched silently from within the trees as the petal sphere spun and danced ahead of them.

"They've been in there for a long time," Rukia whispered finally, "and the level of power has been staggering."

"This is bad, Rukia," Ichigo replied softly, "It probably means that he is already aware we are watching them. This is going to be harder than we thought."

They fell silent again as the petals slowly dissipated and revealed two entangled bodies lying in the place where the petal sphere had been. The body on top dragged the other onto his knees and the two exchanged a torrent of steamy kisses.

Rukia smacked Ichigo on the head.

"Ow!" the substitute shinigami hissed.

"Or they could have just wanted to make love under the light of the moon and wanted their privacy, idiot! Just because the man is hurting my brother, doesn't mean he does it every time they're alone together…"

"Well," said Ichigo, "One thing's for sure. We don't want them to know we were watching. Come on…"

Rukia looked back one more time, an icy feeling entering her blood as she watched the two men setting their clothes back in place. Her brother's movements looked unusually shaky and lacked their normal grace. And before he covered himself, she could see that he looked unnaturally thin.

"Nii-sama…" she whispered worriedly.

"Rukia," Ichigo said, more urgently, "Come on. Let's get out of here!"