Jed woke with a start. He looked around the room and sat up. His room was small compared to the ones the Al'sieta Sedai had taken, with a red carpet, small bed and a dresser. There was no window; Alaria had seen to that. His pack and weapons were in the corner behind the door but his sword was beside the head of the bed, ready in case he needed it. Tucked under his pillow was a bronze figurine of a man standing at attention grasping his sword in both hands, hilt at chest-height and blade pointing straight up. It was completely useless to him as long as he was shielded, but he liked to keep it close whenever he could. With a sigh, Jed stood and pulled the figurine out from under his pillow.
"Maybe not the best place to put it," he muttered quietly to himself as he rubbed the back of his neck. Jed dug into his pack and rapped the figurine in his spare small-clothes at the bottom. He reached out to the source and came up against the shield and he found to no surprise that it was still intact and strong; two soft points and six hard.
Jed dressed quickly and opened the door, stepping out into the hall. He was met by Katerine and Elena, who were maintaining his shield. They looked tired, with circles under their eyes. It must have been near the end of their shift when he woke, he thought. Elena looked up at him fearfully from her seat while Katerine sneered sleepily and stood. She didn't say anything but walked across the hall and knocked lightly. Alaria answered, looking pristine. Katerine and Alaria held a hushed conversation until Alaria nodded. She walked over to Jed while Katerine continued down the hall, knocking on the next door. Tarnia answered and looked over at Jed before nodding. She came to stand before Jed also. Katerine and Elena walked away in different directions, Elena staggering slightly. Jed turned to the two reds.
"So," he said, "hungry?" Alaria sniffed, but Tarnia smiled slightly.
"Come," she said. "I'm sure the cook can prepare something."
They walked down the corridor and descended the stairs. The smell of eggs and toasting bread drifted from the kitchen door as Jed and Alaria took their seats at one of the tables by the windows. Jed's stomach rumbled loudly. Alaria smiled, before turning to Tarnia. They began to discuss their plans for recruiting guards for the remainder of the trip. Jed turned and looked out of the window, ignoring them. The sun was already halfway to its zenith and the main road was bustling with people going about their daily chores. Merchants, traders, guardsmen, they were all moving around as if they had not a care in the world. They had no idea that there had been a trolloc raid only a week northwest of their town, or maybe they did know but did not care. The innkeeper moved over to their table.
"What'll it be then?" he asked cheerfully. He was slightly on the large side, as innkeepers should be, with a round, smiling face and a bald spot on top of his head.
"Eggs, cheese and some fruit, if you have any," Jed said. He looked over at Alaria, and she looked at him with an eyebrow raised. Jed sighed inwardly.
"My lady?" he asked.
Alaria's lips twitched briefly before facing the innkeeper. "Eggs," she said.
The innkeeper jotted their orders down and turned to Tarnia. "Just fruit for me, unless you have any bacon?" she asked. The innkeeper smiled widely at her.
"That we do lady, the best from here to Maradon," he stated proudly. As the innkeeper bustled off to the kitchen with their orders Alaria spoke.
"We must speak of your restrictions while we are in this town, Jedwyn," she said, looking at him directly.
"Yes, I thought this might come up," he replied. They were going to confine him, most likely.
"You will not go beyond the borders of the town and you will have one of us with you at all times." Alaria looked at him and Jed tried to keep his thoughts off his face. "You will not leave this inn without at least two of us as an escort and you must ask my permission first."
"Is that all?" Jed asked sarcastically.
"No," Alaria replied frostily. "While we are here you are to act as our guardsman, and you will address us with the respect befitting our station." Jed gritted his teeth.
"Very well," he said, "but to the Pit of Doom with treating you as a superior in private." Alaria's eyes widened and she moved as if to stand before settling back in her chair. Tarnia didn't appear remotely interested in their discussion and was impatiently tapping her fingers against the table surface and looking at the kitchen door.
"As long as nobody hears you addressing us that way you can speak to us as you like, but if you reveal us then you will spend the rest of the trip regretting your decision." Jed looked her in the eyes and saw that she was serious about her threat.
"So you will give me to Katerine, then," he said, looking back out of the window, "if I...misbehave?" Jed smiled.
"Oh, I didn't say anything about handing you over to Katerine," Alaria replied.
"What?" Jed asked in surprise.
"Katerine no longer has claim on you, Guardsman Jedwyn," Alaria finished as the innkeeper came to their table carrying her and Tarnia's orders. Jed narrowed his eyes as he examined Alaria's face for any clues as to what lay in store for him. What could be worse than being given to Katerine, he thought.
"Yours is almost ready, master Jedwyn," the innkeeper said, twisting his hands around the hem of his apron nervously. He kept looking at Jed curiously.
"Is there anything else we can do for you master innkeeper?" Tarnia asked, noticing his interest. The innkeeper jumped slightly, and looked at her apologetically.
"I apologise for my directness, but word has it in the town that you were attacked by a trolloc raid a couple of weeks back," he said. "The innkeeper examined his apron to avoid looking them in the eyes.
"Word has it that you lost almost all your guards, save master Jedwyn here," he said, gesturing to Jed. Jed winced.
"Yes," Alaria said carefully, "we were attacked by a trolloc raid. Guardsman Jedwyn survived." Jed noted her careful avoidance of a lie without revealing too much, and decided that he should take it from there. The fact that Tarnia had just kicked him under the table had nothing to do with it at all.
"You should not need to worry, master...?" The innkeeper gave a start, smiling nervously at him.
"Karl," he said. "Not many ask after my name, most just call me innkeeper," he chuckled to himself.
"Well Karl, you should not need to worry; the attack was leagues from here and we managed to kill most of the filthy creatures before they could overrun us. Jarrod, he fell first. Most of the others died protecting the wagons and the women but Madrin and I managed to finish off the wolfheads. After that the others retreated." Jed remembered Madrin. He had died thirteen years before in an attack by the Enlightened, a radical group of supposed prophets who claimed that anyone who did not swear allegiance to the Light through them was a Darkfriend. They had been wiped out by a band of mercenaries on the pay of the King of Kharendor a year later when they attempted to carve their own kingdom from the lands just south of the Fallen Mountains.
"The wolfheads?" a voice suddenly asked form another table. Jed turned and saw a town guard sitting at the table closest to them. His sword was in its sheath on the table's surface and he was halfway through his morning meal.
"Yes," Jed said, "Why?"
The man dropped his knife and stood, buckling his sword and walking over to their table. He stopped and stood there, examining Jed. The women, he ignored. The innkeeper cleared his throat.
"Lady Alaria, Mistress Tarnia, Master Jedwyn, this is Tarim Azada, captain of the Town Guard." The captain nodded in greeting to each of them, but kept his eyes on Jed.
"A pleasure to meet you," he said. He had upturned almond-shaped blue eyes, black hair and a hooked nose. There were lines around his eyes and mouth, and his hair was beginning to go grey at the temples. He seemed familiar somehow.
"And you," Alaria replied. Tarnia nodded her greeting.
"You mentioned wolfheads, Mater Jedwyn. Might I take then to believe that you have spent time at the Blightborder towers? I have only ever heard soldiers of the Blightborder speak of picking off the wolfheads before." Jed winced inwardly. He should have been more careful, but he had not figured anyone in this town would know or care about why he supposedly went for the wolfheads first.
"Wolfheads? What is the captain talking about, guardsman?" Alaria asked impatiently. Jed turned to face her.
"Trollocs come in different shapes and sizes, my lady," he began. Alaria interrupted him.
"Of course, I know that, but what makes one trolloc any different from another?" she asked.
"It makes every difference, Lady Alaria," Captain Azada said. Jed nodded.
"Trollocs with the features of wolves are usually more intelligent than others of their kind, better able to speak and coordinate their attacks when there is not a myrddraal around to herd them," Jed explained. "Therefore, it is prudent to kill them first as they are the most likely to be the ones giving the orders."
Captain Azada nodded in agreement. "If you spend enough time fighting Shadowspawn you learn to tell the differences between them. Know your enemy," he said, looking down at Jed.
"And you will defeat him," Jed finished the motto of a lost company of Jaramide. Azada smiled slightly.
"I knew it as 'and you can kill him' but I suppose there is little difference in this respect." Azada pulled a chair over and sat at their table. The innkeeper had been pulled away by one of the other tenants, but was back in a few minutes with Jed's meal. "How much time did you spend in the north then?" he asked.
"Enough to know that it will take more than a few dozen Aes Sedai spread across the entire region to hold the Shadow at bay," Jed stated, looking at Alaria and Tarnia from the corner of his eye. Karl nodded in agreement while scanning the room for anyone who needed him.
"Yes, I agree. Them Aes Sedai should be here in the borderlands, helping to keep back the Blight, but they're too busy with their manipulations in the south. I hear things, from the travellers that come through here. People say that there are less Aes Sedai than there used to be, and that they don't care about anything but keeping that shiny Tower of theirs at the centre of the world." Tarnia sniffed quietly, but Alaria's face was frozen in an effort to remain serene.
"I don't know," the captain said, looking into his meal, "I have seen what Aes Sedai can do; walls of fire and explosions of earth. I've seen Aes Sedai save hundreds of men just by being on the battlefield."
"Ah, but were they there by choice Tarim?" Karl asked. "The traders who come through here, many say that the Aes Sedai only come north now to look for their Warders, their Brothers to Battle. People say that if it did not benefit them in some way, they would not come at all."
"I do not believe that is true, Master Karl," Tarnia said suddenly. The innkeeper turned to her with a questioning look in his eyes.
"There has never been any reason not to believe it, Mistress Tarnia," he replied. "Last Aes Sedai who came through here a few months back was on her way to Maradon. She was tight-lipped and curt, treating us all like second-class citizens, and cold-eyed to boot."
"Cold-eyed?" Jed asked. "She was most likely of the white Ajah.
"The White Tower protects and governs the world. If not for the Aes Sedai there would be no borderlands at all," Alaria said. Captain Azada looked at her strangely, before turning to Jed.
"Where were you born, Master Jedwyn?"
Jed started, surprised at the change of subject. "The Land between Two Rivers, in Farashelle." The captain nodded to himself, and turned back to the Al'sieta Sedai.
"Lady Alaria, Mistress Tarnia, I believe that it was your guardsman's ancestors who protected the world, and they never tried to govern or control it, only protect it. Manetheren's armies were at almost every major engagement during the Trolloc Wars." Azada looked around the group. Tarnia looked proud but ashamed. The innkeeper was looking at Jed with a new respect and Alaria had nothing to say, her head down. Finally, Azada turned his gaze back to Jed.
"So you have fought along the Blightborder," he said, bringing the discussion back to Jed. "I'm curious, why would a southlander come to the borderlands to fight Shadowspawn?"
"I came north because I was a foolish child and thought only of adventure. I had a sword, a little money and the stories of my ancestors fresh in my ears. I thought I could become a hero, be known across the lands and eventually return home to raise a family of my own among my friends and admirers." Jed chuckled wryly. "Sadly, it was not to be. Things changed," he said, looking at the Al'sieta Sedai, "I changed."
"Aye," Karl said, "that is what happens to those who go to the Blight looking for adventure. I've seen plenty of young men come through here with bright eyes and a thirst for it." He shook his head sadly. "I remember every face I've ever seen and of the hundreds who pass through Jaroncen on their way north, the few who come back are changed; gaunt cheeks and haunted eyes, but survivors to the core." A tenant across the room called for service and the innkeeper muttered under his breath. "Back to work, I suppose. It was good talking to you; don't get much time for that these days, not since my maids took ill with a cough. It'll be a miracle if they're well before the end of the week," he muttered before moving away.
"Well," said the Captain, sitting back, "I must be off about my duties but if there's anything I can do for you, my lady, be sure to ask." The captain turned to Jed.
"I remember faces almost as well as old Karl there and I always remember the faces of those who have saved my life at one point or another." Jed looked at him, confused. "I was at the battle of the fifth tower many years back, before I was released from service. A Draghkar started singing to me before I could cover my ears. Half the unit was dead already, and we had had to abandon the tower." Azada looked at Jed very carefully, and then nodded. "Thank you for saving us, blademaster." Azada stood and left the building before Jed could say a word. He sat there, shocked. The battle of the fifth tower; that had been a long time ago. He remembered now; he had retreated along with the others, abandoning the tower, and had seen a group of men apparently just standing by their horses some way from the trees while everyone else fled in the direction of the pass to Maradon. The face of a young lieutenant swam into view before him, terrified but grateful as Jed led the remains of his unit to safety. Azada had been his name, called after Jed as he rode east along the Blight. Jed looked up to see Alaria and Tarnia both staring at him from the corners of their eyes while they finished their meals.
"Alaria said, "This may be of advantage to us, your connection to the captain."
"Yes," said Tarnia, looking after the captain, "he may be able to find some trustworthy guardsmen for us. We may yet be able to leave Jaroncen before the week's end." Tarnia turned her head to Jed, a curious light in her eyes. "Tell me, master Jedwyn, how many years has it been since the attack on the fifth tower?" Jed paused, the apple in his hand forgotten. He looked at Tarnia carefully.
"I am sure you already know the answer to that, Mistress Tarnia. It is not well known outside of the borderlands but the Tower has eyes and ears everywhere."
Jed turned to Alaria. "With your permission, I would like to take a walk through the town, Lady Alaria."
"For what reason?" she asked suspiciously.
"I want to visit the market to buy some new bowstrings and goose feathers for fletching. Plus," he added, "It would be good to walk among people again. It has been a while since I was able to walk freely in crowds."
"Very well, Jedwyn, but first we will wait for the others to wake. I do not wish to walk the markets myself, you understand," Alaria said.
"Of course, my Lady," Jed said as a patron walked by their table. The sun had moved more than half a hand-span across the sky before Rhemala descended the stairs looking refreshed and clean in a grey dress with a red sash and a high neckline. Tower Servants, Jed thought to himself with a small smile. They could not stop showing their Ajahs even when trying to keep a low profile. At least Rhemala only wore the sash red, but Jed had a feeling Katerine's clothing would be much more extravagant than that. Rhemala looked around the common room, and on spotting them, weaved her way between the tables to their. Jed noted that one of the chairs blocking her path tucked itself under the table as she passed. He didn't feel anything, but his arms were already covered with goosebumps anyway so it made little difference. Jed wondered about that for a moment. Would he eventually stop being able to sense a woman's channelling this way if they were always channelling around him?
"Alaria," Rhemala greeted her, "Tarnia, Jedwyn."
"Ah, Rhemala, perfect timing; I would appreciate it very much if you could take over for me and a join master Jedwyn and Tarnia for their stroll in the market." Rhemala caught on at once of course. Alaria wanted her to take over part of the shield and follow Jed around all day so that she didn't have to. Precedence. Alaria stood highest in the group so she could do, or not do, almost anything she wanted.
"Of course, Alaria," she said. Her mouth was a thin line. Clearly she didn't like being told what to do this way. Jed watched carefully as Alaria relinquished control of her half of the shield to Rhemala, but aside from a slightly tense moment between the two women and a judder in the shield, Jed didn't notice anything that could help him escape. Perhaps if he tried to force his way through the barrier while they were transferring control he could break it, but he would only be able to try it once. Tarnia stood.
"Well then, shall we?" she asked. Jed nodded to her and stood also, making his way out of the inn and heading to the markets. He would have expected to find stalls along the main road and commented on the absence. Tarnia replied that the town mayor had become fed up with hearing complaints from travellers and other residents about the crowded street and had ordered the markets set up in the Third Circle, which was still under construction. Apparently, a large amount of land had been acquired by the local merchant council at the east gates of the Second Circle, and they had begun selling small areas to local traders, setting aside others for travelling traders and merchant caravans. A portion of all profits gained went to the merchant council, who in turn gave a share of their profits to the Town Council. Eventually, Jed grew bored listening to Tarnia and Rhemala speak of the council and the fact that, surprisingly, the majority were men and therefore further surprised that men could come up with ways to make money so well and put it to good use rather than hoarding it for themselves. Jed tried to tune it out as they walked. Perhaps they should have taken the horses. It would have been over quicker that way and he would not have to listen to them gossip all the way there. Women did like to gossip, though Jed had heard women express their displeasure with that sentiment and claim that it was in fact men who gossiped. Jed noted several wagons passing by on their way west. They were most likely carrying wares to Maradon. It felt good to have rejoined civilisation, however short their stay was. No matter where he went or how long he stayed in the wild lands, there really was nothing like a town full of people, laughing, arguing, and living. Jed looked over the road to see two people arguing heatedly over a bracelet. On his side of the street, the Town Hall and Mayor's Residence stood proudly. Looking closely Jed could see where the original building had been placed. The stone, faded with time, looked bluer than the rest of the stones that made up the two buildings. All of the buildings in the Inner Circle had blue stones here and there, taken from the ruins of Nashebar after the Trolloc Wars. Jed wondered which of the great towers or palaces these stones had come from, what their history had been.
As they approached the markets they began to hear the sounds of men and women crying their wares, the smell of roasting meats, fruits, even flowers. They entered the markets and Jed staggered at the noise. There were so many people, it was terrifying. He had forgotten what it was like to walk through cities and towns; it had been so many years since he had last visited one. Jed looked back at Tarnia and Rhemala. They were sticking close to him, their eyes glued to his face with determination. Obviously they did not intend him to be lost in the melee. What a shame. Jed smiled at them, and gestured to the other side of the markets. That would be where the weapons and equipment stalls would be. The closer to the town, the more domestic, such as foods, pots and pans, the closer to the edge of town, the more weapons and spare equipment one might need while travelling through the wild. Rhemala nodded to him, shouting something to Tarnia, lost in the noise. She tugged on Tarnia's cloak, and Tarnia turned to her. Rhemala gestured to Jed, then mimed following. Tarnia nodded, and they began moving steadily through the crowds.
Several hours later Jed and the two women escaped the markets and began making their way back to the inn. Tarnia's hair looked frazzled and both the women's dresses were rumpled and smudged around the hem. Jed himself was rather bruised from fighting his way through the throng but, unlike his Al'sieta Sedai escorts, had thoroughly enjoyed his time in the markets. Rhemala caught him smiling.
"I don't see what you're looking so happy about," she said, glaring at him, "all you bought were some new bootlaces, fletching and an oilstone." Jed laughed.
"I missed the crowds, mistress Rhemala," he said. "It has been a long time since I have walked among so many people." Jed groaned slightly at a pain in his shoulder, rolling his left arm, "Though," he said, "I must admit, I had forgotten how impatient and rough people can be." Rhemala looked at him incredulously for a moment, before finally letting out a small laugh.
"If you were not what you are and I were of the Green I might have taken you for myself," she said, smiling slightly. Jed flinched.
"To be unwillingly bound to another, never to make my own choices again?" he asked. Rhemala and Tarnia looked at him pityingly. "That is not living," Jed whispered. He had known Warders in his time and some, few though they were, had not been bonded by choice.
Jed and the women kept to the side of the road as they made their way back to the Gnashing Barman. The sun had reached its zenith and the day was growing hotter, without a cloud in the sky. Jed loosened his collar, glad that he knew how to ignore the heat. Other people on the road were beginning to sweat and there were none too few with red faces and wet stains under their arms as they puffed along the streets. They kept to the shade as much as possible, though as this was a Borderland town, there was little shade to be had. The inn came into sight along the street, its sign hanging for all to see, a blue city in the sunset. Jed, Rhemala and Tarnia entered the shade under the balcony of the first floor with a sigh, glad to be out of the noonday heat at last. Barmaids were laying tables out in the shade in front of the building and the doors and windows were open to let the heat of the kitchens out. Tenants were filling most of the chairs but Jed saw that Alaria and the others had appropriated three tables to themselves, and all but Elena, Katerine and Salarme were enjoying the sights, watching the hawkers and peddlers pass the inn. Jed supposed that Elena and Katerine were sleeping off their exhaustion after holding his shield for most of the night. As to where the healer had gone, Jed could not say. Rashelle saw them standing there and stood, gesturing them over. Rhemala led the way, Jed walking behind her and Tarnia taking up the rear, probably keeping out of arms-reach in case he made a break for it. Namelle was sitting alone a little away from the others and they were ignoring her, their heads turned slightly away though Jed could see that they were very aware of her presence. Jed had burned out a man before and did not understand why they attempted to avoid her so carefully. The man he had burned out had been a stranger to him, but had already succumbed to the taint. Jed had tried to kill him quickly but he had fought back. Jed had just been lucky the man had not severed him instead. He had not felt anything afterwards that might be the hole the women could apparently see in Namelle. But then, the two halves were different, despite their many similarities. Jed felt a hand on his arm as he was gazing at the street. He started, jerking away from the sudden touch. He looked around, realising that he must have sat while he was thinking. Rashelle was looking at him curiously.
"What were you thinking about?" she asked, examining him. Jed looked at the others. They were talking among themselves, Rhemala and Tarnia speaking quietly and occasionally shooting glances at him. Namelle was reading from a book; Jed thought it was a tome on the Ten Nations. Alaria and Tomeine were sitting two tables away from him, looking at some maps and speaking in hushed tones. Jed looked back at Rashelle.
"I was actually wondering why your sisters avoid looking at Namelle so often. It is like they are hoping that she will go away if they ignore her long enough." Jed nodded at Namelle sitting alone by the windows; she had pulled her chair away from the middle table and was turned away from them now. Rashelle's eyes darkened. She looked upset.
"I do not like it either, but even I cannot help trying to avoid her whenever I can," Rashelle started. She licked her lips, then continued, "As I understand it, men cannot sense when another man can channel just by looking at him. The Red Ajah have studied this in an effort to find better ways of locating male channellers who are born with the spark before they come into their abilities. For women, it is different. We can sense another woman who can channel as soon as we see her, though bringing the ability to the surface is a lot harder. It is the same when the ability to channel has been burned out or when an Aes Sedai has been Stilled, or severed I suppose." Rashelle looked at Namelle and shivered. "I can feel the absence of saidar in her, like a hole in her mind. It terrifies me; it terrifies us all." Jed thought he understood, though her description did nothing to comfort him. She was speaking in hushed tones to him of what she felt in another. She looked nauseated. If it was this bad for her, and she was only feeling it second-hand from Namelle, what would it be like for the woman herself? Jed looked at Namelle sadly. If he didn't escape he would find out. Perhaps it was all he deserved for severing her. Rashelle turned back to Jed. She was looking at him in that possessive way again. It made his skin crawl.
"What will you do when we have Gentled you?" she asked bluntly. Jed blinked at her, too shocked for words. He felt anger beginning to stir within him and he unconsciously strained to reach the source through the shield. He bent it inward slightly and Tarnia and Rhemala whipped around to face him. Jed ignored them though, glaring at Rashelle angrily. He managed to stop himself from trying harder. He did not want to give them reason to be more cautious, not until the time was right.
"What makes you believe I intend to let you gentle me?" he asked through gritted teeth. Rashelle smiled slightly, though her eyes watched his carefully.
"You will not escape," she said, examining her fingernails, "so you might as well begin planning for your life afterwards." Jed sat there quietly, not letting anything show on his face.
"I will not be allowed to leave the Tower, will I?" he asked. Rashelle shook her head.
"No, you won't. You will be kept in the Tower for your own safety. You must understand that most of the men who leave after their trial attempt to do themselves harm, throwing themselves from the walls of the city, the bridges or simply disappearing." Rashelle shook her head, looking out at the street as she spoke. "We try to discover ways of keeping them alive, setting them tasks to keep their minds occupied, pushing them to find ways to live. Sometimes sisters find women to sleep with them, to marry them. A family would give a man a reason to live if nothing else will." Jed snorted. Rashelle glanced at him.
"You're forgetting revenge," he said matter-of-factly. "If anything, a man might want to repay you for what you have taken from him." Rashelle frowned.
"Yes," she said. "Some...more than a few have attempted to harm us, but none ever succeed." She frowned at him sternly. "I hope you do not intend to exact vengeance on us. You seem more learned than others that the Red Ajah have brought to the Tower to be tried. Almost as if you have had decades of experience." Jed looked at her sharply, but she turned her head away so he could not see her face. He though she was smiling by the sound of her voice.
"But of course that would be impossible," she said, still not facing him.
"If you succeed and I am Gentled," Jed said stiffly, "I will find a way to escape the Tower."
"And what will you do then?" Rashelle asked, turning her head to face him again. She looked angry again. Did all women swing from mood to mood like this or just this one?
"Come back to the Blight," he said. "If I no longer care about living, at the least I will be angry. Killing Shadowspawn seems to be as good a way to die as any." Jed smiled, looking at some children playing in the street. "Who knows," he added, "maybe I will end up in the stories alongside the heroes of legend." Rashelle grimaced and shook her head disappointedly.
"A waste of life and talent," Rashelle replied. "Wouldn't you rather make a difference in the world, a difference that didn't involve going mad and killing indiscriminately?" Jed frowned, confused.
"Wait a moment," he said, "I thought we were talking about my life after I have been gentled."
"We are," Rashelle stated angrily. "Men! You never think! Losing ones will to live; not caring for your life or the lives of those around you is madness. And not just that," she jabbed a finger into his stomach painfully, "it's selfish!" Jed swelled angrily.
"You are one to talk about selfishness; here you are saying that losing my will to live is selfish when you are the ones who will be taking it from me! Did you even think about that while you were busy insulting the choices I'd make after having a part of myself ripped away?" Jed paused angrily to draw breath. Calming himself he asked a question which had burned in his mind for as long as he had channelled.
"Why do you sever every man you find?" he asked. Rashelle looked at him incredulously for a moment but he stopped her before she could answer.
"What I mean is," he said carefully, "you have me shielded. You can obviously tie off your shields the way I have with others I have found. If you can do this, why do you not shield men instead of severing us and keeping us to die slowly in your Tower?"
"We cannot keep every man we capture shielded. It would be an impossible task. They...you would have to be watched every hour of every day for the rest of your lives, the shields checked and rewoven to make sure you cannot escape." Rashelle paused. "I don't know how it works for men but we cannot maintain a shield indefinitely, and no sister would risk tying off a shield and leaving a man capable of breaking it. There are no Aes Sedai left who even have the strength to do what you are suggesting, let alone those who know how." Rashelle watched him thoughtfully for a moment, before Tarnia pulled her attention away and they began a discussion, too low for Jed to understand anything but the occasional word.
Jed thought about what she'd said. It made sense in its own way, if the one who understood it had never successfully spun a shield that could not be broken, as he had. He looked back on the last time he had created a permanent shield. Even he did not remember how many times he had spun those webs of Spirit, in and out, in increasingly intricate patterns. That last shield he had made had been a masterwork, a tapestry of Spirit. As he understood it, the Al'sieta Sedai no longer experimented with new webs as they once had, merely maintaining and passing down the knowledge of what they had to their successors. He had not been sure until his capture, but a few snatches of information gleaned from the Reds here and there was slowly confirming his suspicions. The Reds often forgot that he was there, or maybe they simply believed him too ignorant of their ways to understand.
The rest of the day passed without incident. Salarme returned in the late afternoon with a large man coming into his middle years with brown hair and tanned skin. His name was Rammon Delvin and he had been recommended by Captain Azada. Delvin led a small band of twenty men, merchant guards who had left their previous employer because the man had wagered his profits on a game of Stones and had been unable to pay Delvin and his men when he lost. Delvin said that the idiot had been lucky not to lose his wagons and supplies. The man would pick up eventually but in the mean time Delvin was out of gold. Delvin had been very interested to meet the Jed and had been impressed that Jed had apparently fought off an entire Fist of trollocs. Jed angrily replied that a lot of good men had lost their lives in that raid and had stormed off in a fury, or at least that was what Delvin believed. Jed wouldn't have put on such a show but for the fact that the Al'sieta Sedai kept insisting that something worse than Katerine would happen to him if he gave them away. The possibilities swam through Jed's mind as he turned in that night, but other than that it might have something to do with the incident in Namelle's room the night before he could not think what would be worse than Katerine beating him every night until they reached the Tower.
Something Rhemala had said earlier in the day nagged at his memory as he was falling asleep, something about bonding him if she were not Red. A Red would never bond a man, he thought. As he drifted off another part of him thought, but a Green would.
In her room Namelle practiced the forms Jed had demonstrated to her before they reached Jaroncen, slowly moving from one form to another, smooth motions. She had never before noticed how much more like a dance the sword forms were than a method for killing. Slowly, she swung her right sword, the Aran'mandarb as Jed said it was called in the Nobles Tongue, in an arc from her left to her right, keeping her eyes forward and her legs poised, flowing with the movement of the sword. As the blade moved horizontally away from her body her torso was exposed, and she carefully brought up her Osan'mandarb up to come to a stop in the defensive position Jed called Serpent's Lair. She lost herself in the forms, thinking about how Jed had corrected her mistakes and adjusted the forms to better suit her. With her hips and breasts, he had said, she could not fully master the forms as a man could, even with years of training. Women, he had said, stood differently to men, moved differently, reacted differently, and a woman who had always had the Power to defend herself before would come to rely on that advantage more and more in combat, forgetting how to defend herself as one who could not channel would. He had told her that he must adjust the forms as he taught her so that she could learn to defend herself in a new way. As she was the first woman he knew of to ever be trained in the use of blades she would hold the first and, perhaps, only female version of the sword forms. But before that, he had said, she needed to learn to quicken her reaction time and learn to be more aware of the world around her down to the smallest movements. He had then proceeded to blindfold her and begin throwing small stones at her from different directions, telling her to listen for the sound of his feet as he moved and learn to discern one sound from another.
She stopped practicing with the dual swords and sat down in the middle of the room, closing her eyes and listening to the sounds of the inn. After a while she began to hear the sounds of people in other rooms, a faint creaking as someone moved along the corridor below her, the rustle of sheets in the room next to hers as the person sleeping inside turned over in his sleep. Somewhere above she heard small gasps and the creaking of bed springs and immediately she opened her eyes, cheeks suffused with heat. She returned to the forms, working furiously and breathing loudly enough to block out any other sound but the swish of her swords slicing through the air and her breath until she was too tired to continue. She put up her swords next to the bed frame, where she could reach them easily if there was trouble. Jed had told her to always be alert, with her weapons close at hand. She splashed water on her face from the washstand and looked over at the pouch she had filled with herbs bought in the markets early that morning. She had asked the peddler what they did before buying and he had explained each one to her, warning her of which were not best combined. She had been having trouble sleeping since her Stilling and had bought a sleeping herb from the peddler. He had told her how much to take and when. Namelle walked over to the pouch and opened it, taking out a small packet tied with string and opened it enough to take a pinch of the herb within and drop it into a glass of water on the bedside table. The dried sleeping herb slowly disintegrated in the water as she stirred it. She got into bed and drank the water before laying back and waiting for sleep to come. She thought about Rashelle, and how she could stop the woman from bonding Jed after his gentling. She shivered; he would face what she had within a month, though he would be tried for the crime of channelling tainted saidin first. As her eyes began to droop she chuckled at the absurdity of a trial. She had never cared before but now she thought about how stupid it was. They could not help being what they were, or wanting to continue despite the taint, so why were they all tried as criminals, even the ones who came to them looking for an end to what they could do? Namelle giggled again as the herb did its work, and she fell asleep.
The next morning Jed woke to find Rashelle standing at the end of his bed, watching him. He jumped back in alarm and she let out a soft laugh.
"What are you doing in here?" he demanded crossly, ashamed at having been off guard.
Rashelle stopped laughing and fixed him with a stern look.
"I'm holding your shield today," she said.
"That does not explain why you are in my room. Were you watching me sleep?" Rashelle flushed red for an instant before that Al'sieta Sedai calm settled over her.
"I came to wake you," she said "We are leaving as soon as the guards are ready. I suggest you dress yourself, quickly." Jed was startled. They were leaving already? Jed made to get out of the bed, but when Rashelle made no move to leave he coughed significantly. She laughed at him and left the room. Bloody Green Ajah, he thought as he pulled his trousers on and buckled his sword onto his hip. Five minutes later, Jed emerged from his room to find Rashelle and Tomeine waiting for him. Of course, he thought, she couldn't hold his shield on her own. Tomeine looked at him as if he was plotting something and gestured him down the corridor in front of her. As he headed for the stairs and began his descent Rashelle came up beside him.
"You mentioned the other day that you have fought alongside the Borderlanders in the Blight. I'm curious, have you ever fought with a Warder?" she asked.
"Yes, with and against. This is not the first time the Al'sieta Sedai have pursued me, though they did not catch me last time." Jed saw no need to lie about being found and chased before though he did not want to mention that he had been caught once, but had escaped easily since the woman had been alone. That would put this group even more on edge than they were with him. He could tell by looking at them that they knew he was different to others they had chased. They were starting to see him more as a person than a thing to be caught and dealt with.
Rashelle grimaced at his title for her and any woman wearing the Serpent Ring but was obviously willing to let it go to get the answers she wanted.
"So you know their capabilities as warriors," she said.
Jed nodded as they left the inn and made their way to the stables. "They are stronger and faster, able to endure more than other men. 'Gifts'," he said sarcastically, "given in return for their loyalty to a...well, one of you." Rashelle looked at him carefully.
"You don't like the Warder bond?" she asked.
"I admit that the abilities that come with it would be an advantage in battle, but the cost is too great."
Rashelle frowned. "What cost are you talking about?" Her eyes suddenly dawned with realisation. "You mean that the Warder can feel his Aes Sedai and she can feel him? But that is an advantage in its own right; the Warder will know when she is in danger and what she is feeling and she will know his. In combat they need to be able to know each other. It's why so many young men come to the Tower to become Warders."
Jed laughed as they entered the stables and the smell of hay filled his nostrils. "No, I mean that the Al'sieta Sedai can control her Warder through the bond. What about all those men who have no choice, forced to serve as a Warder for their skills?" Rashelle had nothing to say on that.
Jed readied his horse and introduced himself to Delvin's men. They were a rough group, some with scars on their faces and arms but all with clean uniforms in brown and grey colours. The image of a snarling bear head stood out on their breastplates. Their armour was painted grey and was worn their shirts and breeches, though they were donning overcoats. One of the men, Jarim he'd said his name was, noticed Jed's interest.
"We smear paint our armour, anything that reflects light but our swords, to prevent the light reflecting from us and revealing our position to others," he said. Jed nodded in understanding as he mounted his horse.
The women were already sitting on their horses, waiting impatiently for the guards. Now that they had guards with them they could either reveal Jed and themselves for what they really were and most likely cause a whole lot of big problems, or Jed could take his place as one of their guards. They would be keeping two of their number with him at all times though, maintaining his shield. They had already decided on the excuse that they had been fond of their previous guards and now that Jed was the only one left they wanted to keep him safe. Jed didn't like it; it made him sound like a child but he had no choice. Jed mounted Freedom, and the guards followed suit, mounting their own horses as the women turned their horses from the stable yard and led them around the side of the inn. The morning sun shone over the horizon as they left the town, riding two by two with the cart full of supplies in the middle. The women rode before and behind it, the men taking up the rear, all save for Jed who rode next to Rashelle in front of the wagon, which had replaced the cart they had used before. Once they cleared the town's borders, Delvin sent two men forward of the group by five hundred paces with seven men in front of the women, seven behind and the remaining four spilt on either side of the wagon. Delvin himself remained at the head of the group with his men, dropping back occasionally to speak with Jed. They rode for most of the day, stopping at midday to eat and rest the horses before pushing onward. By the time the sun began to set, their shadows stretched out before them on the road and they were several leagues from Jaroncen. Delvin called his men back from the head of the group and suggested that they make camp for the night in a hollow just off the Border Road. Alaria resisted at first but Delvin pointed out that there was not another good place to camp for miles and they would have to ride well into the night to reach the next one. Alaria agreed reluctantly, wanting to get as far as possible before having to stop but listening to the guardsman's advice. That in itself was surprising, but looking around Jed noted how tired the other Al'sieta Sedai looked and he felt wearied to the bone after riding all day. His time in captivity had not served him well or he would not be so tired.
Delvin led them to the hollow, his men moving in to investigate. There were freshly cut logs in a pile under an overhang of rock that might once have been a building and signs of a fire in the middle, a day old now. It was custom along the Border Road for those making camp for the night in one of these hollows to leave wood for the next weary travellers. Not all did so but enough that the piles hardly ever went dry. As they set up camp Delvin posted guards around the chest-high stone wall that surrounded the campsite. It had rained the night before and though the sun had been hotter than usual for this region, even in summer, the logs and tinder was damp enough that lighting a fire proved difficult. Jed sat a few paces from the pile of branches in the middle of the hollow while one of Delvin's men, Agirar, valiantly attempted to start a fire with his flint, producing sparks that would not light the damp wood. Jed looked sideways at Tomeine who was glaring crossly from Agirar to Alaria. Jed chuckled softly but his mirth faded as he realised that he was going to be as cold as the rest of them if they couldn't light a fire soon. He looked at Rashelle, who was sitting on his right on a blanket laid out on the grass. She was looking at the pile of wood as well, an irritated expression plastered on her face. Jed watched as she turned her head, looking for Alaria before gazing back at the fire. Suddenly the tinder beneath Agirar's flint burst into flame and the man jumped back in surprise. Alaria and the other Al'sieta Sedai all turned as one, looking from Rashelle to the fire, which had begun burning cheerfully. The guardsmen all laughed uproariously at Agirar's shocked expression and one of them called out to him to be more careful with how much tinder he used next time. Agirar grumbled that he'd used the same as he always did as he packed away his flint and walked off to fetch more firewood.
Namelle and Elena had begun preparing the evening meal, much to their disgust, putting the kettle over the fire to stew; they were soon joined by Enkazim, one of the guardsmen, who all of the guardsmen said could make boots taste like a king's feast. Jarim and several of the others came to Jed while the meal was cooking, asking him to train with them. Jed, playing his role as a guardsman, turned to Rashelle and asked permission to join the guardsmen. Rashelle gave her permission with a small smile that unnerved Jed more than a past flame appearing before him could and watched as Jed trained with the guardsmen, giving them advice on fighting on foot and from horseback. The guardsmen were good but had been trained to fight as a unit, tending to move together and work as a group. This was an effective means of fighting off almost any attacker, but on their own they were much less skilled. Jed taught them some of the most simple and useful forms in defence, so that they could defend themselves if separated from the larger force. By the time the meal was ready the guardsmen had fine sheens of sweat on their arms and faces. Namelle and Enkazim wouldn't let them anywhere near the fire until they had washed their faces and hands.
Elena had given up somewhere along the way and was sitting stony-faced by the fire, glaring occasionally at Enkazim. When Jed asked, Tarnia said that Enkazim had told her to stop adding spices and that maybe she had best stick to what she knew rather than attempt to cook a meal that would most likely burn them from the inside out. Rashelle was listening and laughed as she described Elena's reaction, throwing her spoon at Enkazim's head before stalking away. Namelle passed around the bowls herself, coming over to Jed and giving his one to him personally. Before she left Jed asked her if she wanted to train anytime soon but Namelle refused, flushing when Jarim looked up from his meal at them curiously.
Rashelle caught Jed's attention and began asking him questions about his life before travelling to the Borderlands, what it had been like living in the Land between Two Rivers and if he had left anybody behind. Jed answered carefully, about how he'd come to love a girl in his village and later learned that she felt the same for him. How he'd come to realise that he had certain skills nobody else had and decided to leave. Jed brought out a gold broach in the shape of a dove in flight and showed it to Rashelle, Tarnia and several of the guardsmen who were also listening to his story. She had given it to him after his decision to leave, to remember her in his travels and to bring him home one day, to her.
The guardsmen began to drift off in other directions but Rashelle and Tarnia leaned in, listening. Rashelle looked sad and sympathetic, as did Tarnia. Jed didn't mind.
After further prodding from Rashelle he explained how when he'd come back he'd found that years had passed and everybody he'd known had changed and grown. He thought Rashelle's eyes widened in realisation by that point but he no longer cared. The girl he'd loved had slowly given up hope that he would ever return, and married another man, one of Jed's early childhood friends. They had had children, five of them, two of whom had had children of their own by the time Jed returned. Rashelle whispered an oath under her breath and Tarnia stared at Jed, frozen with shock. Jed didn't see any of it, immersed in his memories. He kept talking, explaining how he'd not known so much time had passed because he had moved from region to region, never staying long enough to remember or be remembered by anyone. He had not seen the years going by until he returned home. Jed laughed bitterly as he spoke of how he'd returned one day to find a room in the Spring Inn, which had new owners. Jed had walked through the village, confused that he did not know any of the people around him. When an old man had called out his name from one of the houses, a house which had belonged to a friend of his when he'd left the district, he'd not known who the man had been. It had shocked him when he learned that this was his friend. After that, Jed said, he'd begun recognising other faces as they gathered round. All exclaiming over how Jed looked just like a man they had once known, who had left the village over six decades before for no reason that they could understand, leaving behind his family and the woman he had been betrothed to. Rashelle's eyes were wet as she looked at him and Tarnia nodded slowly to herself, her eyes haunted as if she knew what he had gone through.
"What happened to her?" Rashelle asked as she handed back the broach. Jed took it and didn't answer right away, looking at its design.
"She had died," Jed said, "eleven years before I went back." Rashelle sucked in a breath, looking at him silently, a tear running down her cheek.
Jed examined the broach, remembering. He had run to her house as fast as he could, the cries of his friends fading behind him as he ran through the streets. He had pounded on the door of her house until a man opened it, a man with her hair but other than that a perfect image of his childhood friend. Jed had shown the broach to the man and he had let Jed in, taking him to Jed's friend who had been sitting in the front room playing with his grandchildren. He had taken one look at Jed and started muttering about ghosts and spirits until his son managed to calm him down. The old man had asked if Jed was any relation to a man he'd once known; a man named Jedwyn al'Caan.
Rashelle gave a start at Jed's full name; he had not told anyone that name in a long time but no longer saw any reason to hide it.
The old man had recognised the broach and knew the man who stood before him for who he was. Jed explained that his friend had begged for forgiveness for marrying his love. He had done as Jed asked, looking after her, keeping her from trouble, arguing with her, hating her for years. It was not until years later that he realised he was in love with her. She had begun to lose hope that Jed would ever return, heartbroken, becoming thinner and more isolated. He had stayed with her, helping her as best he could. They had married and had children when she finally accepted that Jed was not coming back and realised that his friend had been there for her all those years, though Jed's friend believed that she had never truly given up hope that Jed would one day return. Sometimes, he had said, she had gone out to the bridge over the Spring Waters and stood there for hours just staring into the stream as it flowed beneath her.
Jed saw the questioning looks on Tarnia and Rashelle's faces, and on Elena and Namelle who had also come to listen, and explained that the bridge had been where they had first kissed, when they were sixteen winters old. Jed smiled slightly as he explained how they'd both been switched soundly by the Wise Woman and their parents and been watched carefully by every girl and woman in the village after that, lest they do more than kiss. Jed's smile faded as he looked down at the broach. She had given it to him in exchange for the promise that he would come back once he had found what he was looking for. Jed looked up and told them that she hadn't known he could channel but he thought she might have suspected. He had saved her from drowning in the Waterwood, the first time he had used the Power, a few weeks before and had fallen ill twelve days later with a fever which lasted mere hours. Jed explained that his friend had told him that no matter what, she had believed that somewhere he was still out there, refusing to consider that he might have died years before. Jed had left Aemon's Field for the last time a day later, after the older men and women had begun to realise that he was Jedwyn al'Caan and not a grandson and begun demanding to know how he hadn't changed and what kind of creature was he? Tarnia hesitantly laid a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her, startled by her gesture.
"I think that I can understand what you have gone through more than most, though not how it is even possible that you have lasted this long," she said.
"What do you mean?" Jed asked. Tarnia took a strand of her greying hair and swept it back over her ear.
"I once had a family, but unlike most Sisters I did not forget them after becoming Aes Sedai." Tarnia drew a deep breath and said, "I trained as a Novice and Accepted for fifteen years before I was raised to the Shawl and it was another ten before I thought to visit my home in Farashelle. Everyone I knew had changed. My parents had died and my brothers and sisters looked so old compared to me, yet I was the oldest." Tarnia stopped, smiling sadly at Jed. For a moment her ageless face seemed to lift and Jed saw someone who had seen decades pass, more than decades. Then it was gone and the ageless face was back. The guards were all falling asleep around the fire and Rashelle had already moved under her blankets, as had the other Al'sieta Sedai, all save for Elena and Rhemala who watched Jed, though their eyes drooped sleepily. Tarnia had moved off and was getting into her blankets. Jed turned his head, surprised at the camp's sudden weariness. Even the guards on duty were slumped against the wall! Namelle stood up and walked over to him from her blankets, looking around at the sleeping men and women smugly. Jed heard a thump behind him and turned quickly. He found nothing, but then saw Tarnia laying half in and half out of her blankets, completely unconscious. Jed turned back to Namelle, now standing in front of him, smiling triumphantly.
"What has happened?" he asked, alarmed.
"I put a sleeping herb in the stew," Namelle replied calmly. Jed's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"You did what?" he yelled. Namelle held up her hands hurriedly, her eyes wide.
"Not yours!" she said quickly. "I separated yours before I put the herb in the stew. They'll sleep for the rest of the night," she finished. Jed just stared at her, mouth open. She did what?
He finally managed to compose himself though he was still shocked. Namelle looked up at him fearfully, her hands twisting around a piece of cloth. Jed looked around the camp. Elena and Rhemala were unconscious as well, sprawled against one another where they were sitting facing Jed. He turned back to Namelle.
"Why did you do this?" he asked her warily. She looked down and muttered that they should get going if they want to be ahead of the others before morning but Jed grabbed her arm as she tried to turn away and pulled her around to face him.
"Why?" he demanded, staring into her eyes. She sighed.
"They were going to give you to Rashelle once you had been gentled," she said after a moment, looking up at him from beneath her hair, biting her lip worriedly. He looked at her questioningly for a moment before his mind fit the pieces together. Rashelle's behaviour towards him over the last week, the argument in Namelle's room, the constant questioning and probing; asking him about...
"She was going to bond you as her Warder as soon as you've been gentled," Namelle said quickly. Jed froze.
"And what if I refused?" he asked dangerously, anger beginning to stir within him.
Namelle looked uncomfortably away from him. "She was going to bond you anyway. I couldn't let her go through with it," she said in a rush, "they said that I would not be allowed to learn from you after you were bonded and since you were obviously going to attempt to escape before we reached the Tower I would never be allowed near you!" She clamped her mouth shut and blushed crimson.
Jed's face darkened with every word. "They were going to let her bond me if I tried to escape before we reach the Tower?"
"Yes," Namelle said. With difficulty Jed regained control of his anger but glared around the camp at the Al'sieta Sedai. Those manipulating, scheming... he thought angrily. "I've packed food and supplies onto Katerine's mare and readied our horses," she said pleadingly.
Jed's head whipped around to face her. "You want to come with me?" he asked incredulously. She nodded.
"I need you to teach me. I don't want to die, I need this. Please," she begged quietly.
Jed stared at her for a moment, and then nodded: "Very well."
Quickly, they prepared their horses and Katerine's mare. Jed grinned as he thought of Katerine's face when she woke in the morning and found he had stolen her horse. He laughed loudly and Namelle grinned at him weakly. As they mounted their horses Jed suddenly realised that he was free. He was free! He reached out to the Source and grasped the Power, no shield blocking his path. Sweet saidin rushed into him, mountains of ice and fire scorching his soul and filling him with life. The land around him grew brighter, colours deeper but no less beautiful in the night. He laughed as he held onto the Power. As they rode away from the hollow Jed looked back and, as an act of defiance and for the pure joy of angering them, Jed spun flows of Fire into the earth at the entrance to the hollow. Jed and Namelle rode away into the night, leaving the campsite and the Red Ajah behind. In the earth at the entrance to the hollow the grass and earth had been scorched into the shape of a black teardrop, known to the world as the Dragon's Fang.