Author's Notes: ARGH! I have been up since the ass crack of dawn! *shakes fist at sky in fury* Fucking sunlight interrupting my sleeping time! Anyways I'm back again with this one. Will be working next on Taro Love since I'm bored and my knees hurt like a bitch. Oh well. Anyways, there was something I wanted to address. I read reviews all of which made me tear up in happiness. But I wanted to address something about Jocelyn. She's very different from Julia. For those of you that follow or have followed Decadence and it's sequel. Things are very much for Julia about permission and a sacred trust. Jocelyn while not necessarily bad isn't good either. She's very grey and even as her author I'm still trying to peel back her layers and get to know her more. With each scene of her life with Livia I'm putting together a picture of her but until she's here in the present we're really left with a lot of wondering about who she is? why she does what she does? how is she going to react to Livia and Mitsuru being gone etc? I can't even answer that because I think in order for me to know the characters I'm writing about and playing with in some cases I would get bored and not want to write them anymore. I like peeling back the layers and seeing what's actually there and learning why people tick the way they do. Jocelyn is no exception and she's proving to be quite an interesting grey person to figure out. Anyways, I hope that cleared up a bit about her and why I'm writing her the way I am. She may make some twists and turns that I haven't even foreseen and god knows I don't want to but hey we'll see what happens right? As always I love reviews and like I said they make me tear up with happiness...blame the lack of sleep if you wish. Hell I don't care. Just let me know what you think. It's always appreciated!

Chapter 5

"She spoke to you?" Elliot asked looking hopefully at Alex who was frowning at him. He glanced at his partner. Ashley smiled as happy as Elliot was to know that Olivia had actually opened her mouth. Sure she knew that if Olivia came back to the unit she would likely lose Elliot as a partner but she was confident enough in her abilities that she wouldn't be partner less. Cragen had assured her she had a permanent place in the unit should she want it.

"So what did she say?" She asked studying the blonde's blue eyes and drawn mouth.

"She doesn't remember anything. All she would say is that she wanted to go home. And she didn't speak because she didn't like you all. She said you took her from her home."

"Is there any hope of her regaining her memory?" Elliot demanded though he knew the blonde wouldn't have any answers.

"The doctor said after all this time it's not likely but it's a possibility. Just a slim one. Plus it doesn't help that she's pretty settled in her life with Jocelyn."

"We've got to get this woman. She did this to Olivia." Ashley murmured shaking her head sadly.

"Actually she didn't. According to Olivia, Jocelyn saved her."

"That could be Stockholm talking." Elliot said refusing to believe that Olivia wouldn't want to come home if given the opportunity.

"It could be but we don't stand a chance of getting her to open up without that woman. I kept trying to get her to talk to me but she's shut back up again. She won't speak a word."

"Is she still….affectionate? with you?" Ashley hesitated to ask shooting Elliot a look of apology. Elliot folded his arms across his chest refusing to let Alex see how upset it had actually made him that she seemed okay with the icy blonde than himself.

"A bit. She'll come and sit by my feet if I'm sitting. If I kneel down she'll lay down on the floor next to me."

"She's always lower than you." Elliot said with disgust shaking his head as he tried to move into the room with his partner.

"Elliot she doesn't want to see you." Ashley tried as the large ex-Marine pushed through the door and came to a stop in front of Olivia's bed which wasn't occupied by the brunette. Even though psychiatrists, psychologists, and medical doctors had tried to get her into the bed they'd all failed miserably. She refused to go near any piece of furniture unless Alex or another blonde told her to.

"Olivia? You should get up in the bed. Surely it's more comfortable than the floor." His heart broke when he saw the way his former partner, the woman he considered his sister flinch away at the sound of his voice and curl into herself in the corner watching him wearily from behind a thick curtain of hair that had fallen into her face with her quick movements. He longed to move forward and push it from her face and hear her telling him to stop babying her she could take care of herself.

"Liv?" Alex's soft voice rang out. Olivia glanced up seeing Alex and suddenly she uncurled herself slipping around Elliot in a wide circle until she was settled next to Alex's legs. She nuzzled her knee staring at Elliot with weary brown eyes not willing to let him get anywhere near her. He wouldn't take Alex to would he? The thought sent a chill through her. Yes of course, Alex wasn't Jocelyn. She never would be but she was the closest thing she had to some form of comfort and she needed it.

Things were hard when Jocelyn traveled abroad on business. She would find things to do around the house, help Mitsuru or the others with their chores, anything to make the time pass. It was rough and depressing and she missed her Mistress every minute of every day but when the woman finally returned it was like a breath of fresh air re-entering her body after so long. Jocelyn would come in and pet her and kiss her and tell her how much she missed her. She would shower her with affection no matter how tired she was though certain fun activities would wait until she'd recovered from the jet lag she sometimes had when she got back home.

Alex wasn't her wonderful Mistress but she was quite pretty and she did carry herself like Jocelyn. Though she seemed a bit less confident then Jocelyn, Livia wasn't quite sure why but she could sense it. It did help that some of her suits were the same cut and color of Jocelyn's and they had similar eye color and height. She was a good substitute until Jocelyn returned and cleared this whole mess up.

Elliot frowned rising to his feet and stepping close to Alex. He was shocked when Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex's calf holding tightly to her as she stared warily up at him. Alex opened her mouth to speak but the moment she felt Olivia hold onto her she looked down shocked at the gesture. Olivia had made no move to cling to anyone since this had happened. She seemed so afraid and wary of all human contact that Alex had all but avoided touching her at any point. Now she wondered if that was a mistake.

Alex waited until Ashley who was standing in the doorway talked Elliot out of the room before she looked down at Olivia. Olivia's head was bowed her dark hair hiding her face once again and she slowly reached down sliding her fingers into Olivia's hair. Immediately, she noticed, Olivia relaxed her eyes falling half closed. She listened closely thinking she was hearing things when she realized she wasn't. Olivia was actually purring at the touch. She opened her mouth to speak and then decided against it and slowly shifted. Olivia let go of her and she moved to her usual chair and smiled at Olivia as the woman slowly made her way towards her stopping every few seconds to check the door likely to make sure Elliot and Ashley were indeed gone. When she finally made it to Alex's feet she settled down and began to purr all over again when Alex slid her hand into her hair. She stroked her fingers through her thick hair, using her long nails to tenderly scratch Olivia's scalp which gained her an even louder purr and most of Olivia's body weight leaning happily against her legs as she absorbed all of the wonderful contact she could get.

Despite how bad it hurt to see Olivia like this Alex found herself smiling. She'd always wanted Olivia to want her to touch her, yes of course the circumstances were atrocious and she should feel sick with herself for taking pleasure at being able to touch Olivia like this but she couldn't help it. It was just too good being able to finally show some of the affection she'd kept bottled up for so long believing the brunette wouldn't want anything to do with the resident Ice Princess and then when she'd returned from Witness Protection permanently Olivia was missing. Now she was back but according to her and Alex found herself beginning to believe it as well even though she wanted to fight hard not to Olivia no longer existed. It was someone completely different now. She only hoped that if they couldn't bring Olivia back to her old self that at least they could make the former Detective as independent as possible even though a very small selfish part of herself wanted Olivia to depend on her the way she obviously did Jocelyn.

Livia was sitting in her Mistress lap. Months had passed since the first time they'd been intimate and now Livia who had grown so much more confident and comfortable in her situation and surroundings often accompanied her Mistress to her office if only to settle quietly at her feet and help keep her Mistress calm. Jocelyn always told her that petting her helped settle her nerves and anger quicker than anything else. Livia loved the thought that she was useful to her lovely Mistress. She also loved being able to go places with her. Even though she wasn't terribly fond of her office she still got to spend time with her Mistress with no one else vying for her attention like they would around the manor.

Jocelyn was holding Livia close stroking her soft brown hair as she read papers in the manila folder open in her hand. She set it down smiling softly at Livia who looked half asleep in her arms. She stroked her soft hair and pressed a little kiss to the tip of her nose earning a sleepy giggle which made her smile wider. She slid her other hand up cupping Livia's soft breast through the fabric of her shirt and bra which immediately got her little pet to sit up eagerly knowing what was about to happen.

Livia cried out as her Mistress stroked her fast. She bit her bottom lip trying to keep quiet as her cheeks flushed with color at the wonderful feeling of her impending orgasm.

"Jocelyn I need you to look over the files for the Arbor account….did you have to bring that thing here today?" A man's voice echoed in the room.

"Jesus Thomas do you ever bother to knock?" Jocelyn snapped jerking her hand from in between Livia's thighs and quickly sliding her from her lap so her lack of clothes wouldn't be seen. She pushed her gently under the desk feeling Livia's lips press against her bare knee in silent gratitude along with a soft nuzzle as she glared at the man before her.

Thomas Anderson was everything someone like Jocelyn should've wanted to be with. His father was a Wall Street Broker; his family was rich and had very deep old roots in the Boston community. He was handsome with his broad shoulders, bright blue eyes, and sandy blonde hair. He was classically very good looking and he knew it which made Jocelyn hate him all the more. It didn't help that he'd pursued her relentlessly despite her efforts to quell his desire for her. He also hated that she often flaunted her pets in his face which made a thrill of pleasure shoot through her. She liked getting under his skin as much as he liked trying to goad her into dating him.

"The Arbor account needs your attention assuming of course you can take it off your whore long enough to do so." He shot her a hurt/angry look.

Jocelyn narrowed her eyes shoving herself backwards in the desk chair and rose to her feet. She wasn't a small woman. She was quite tall and full figured but certainly not fat rather she had the solidness of a woman that couldn't be moved easily physically or otherwise. She stomped towards him and grabbed the file. "Fine I'll look over it now get out of my office and don't let me see you trying to sneak back in again." She snapped turning to go back to her seat where she knew she'd likely find her frightened little precious hiding under her ask due to her behavior.

Livia shivered as her thoughts drifted to that day. Of course she'd hated that Thomas man as much as her Mistress. She wasn't a whore. She was a beloved pet; she never slept with anyone but her Mistress. It helped that her Mistress often told her these very same things and commented repeatedly about how much she hated the arrogant man and his desire for her. Alex who had remained silent for a while now just keeping up with her petting saw the shiver and asked softly. "Are you cold Liv? Do you want a blanket?" She asked and then biting her lip made a decision. "You could climb into my lap if you want to." It was a worth a shot she figured. Maybe it would get Olivia talking again. Of course she'd deny it if anyone brought up that perhaps the move was not only for Olivia's sanity but for her own bit of selfish pleasure.

Livia glanced back at her studying her with wide pretty brown eyes before nodding. She wouldn't mind being held. She hadn't been held since Jocelyn had left the manor a month ago she guessed. At least that's how much time it seemed like had passed. It was hard to tell when you were in locked in a room with people coming in and out most times. She knew about two weeks had passed before she was taken. She could remember talking excitedly to Mitsuru the day they'd been kidnapped, at least that's how she perceived it, about how soon their beloved Mistress would be home with them. She didn't stand up to climb into Alex's lap knowing how to slide her body up and then into position without doing so. She settled herself sideways on Alex's lap throwing her legs over the chair's arm figuring that was how Alex wanted her to sit. Immediately the woman's arms went around her and she found herself leaning against her with her head resting near her shoulder inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. It was similar but different from the expensive shampoos Jocelyn had used but she still drew comfort from it and slowly she felt air leave her lips in what could only be a content sigh. She burrowed down a little further trying to get as much contact as possible. Alex merely smiled and indulged her allowing Olivia to go wherever she wanted that was comfortable.

"Will you tell me about her?" She asked when Olivia stopped moving and had been settled for a while. "Your Mistress, Jocelyn. What's she like?" She thought perhaps it would help Olivia to talk about something obviously so dear to her heart and may give them some insight on how to open her up.

Livia remained silent for a long time before she finally spoke. "If I tell you will you tell them to stop calling me Olivia?"

"But that's your name?" Alex asked turning her head but unable to catch Olivia's eyes seeing as she was now mostly burrowed into her neck and shoulder.

"That's her name. That's not mine. Mine is Livia."

"I'll tell them but I can't make any promises that they'll listen to me." Alex promised.

"Will you then? Will you call me Livia? At least someone will call me by my name then."

Alex paused biting her lip before making a decision and nodding. "Okay. Livia it is."

Author's Ending Notes: More smexin! My muse has it on the brain apparently. I know I know it's not A/O shoot me I couldn't justify them having sex yet. It just doesn't fit but they are starting to get closer. Livia is at least speaking to her yeah? I'm slowly growing their relationship.