I'd recommend istening to Radical Dreamers ~unstolen thoughts~ from the Chrono Cross soundtrack whilst you read the angsty bits. It's so perfect, it hurts.

Kotetsu hated hospitals.

It was just...Tomoe had died in one, and before that, she'd been confined there for what was probably the most painful two and a half months of Kotetsu's life. No matter how kind the Doctors, no matter the decor, or how happy the patients were, they always held an aura of...dispair and death for him. It honestly was probably just a personal thing, some kind of self-hatred or something that he projected on the crsip, clean buildings, but if it got that pessimism away from himself, then he would blame pretty much anything. He'd much rather be given the tools to fix himself up and sent home, but with a major injury, that was kind of impossible.

He didn't really know what had happened after Bunny's fight with Jake and his subsequent massive fuck up, other than what Nathan and the others had told him. He'd apprently passed out just after everyone else had showed up, not that that explained how he'd managed to get from the other side of town back to the hospital. Other than the massive wound to his side, he'd apparently also had a minor skull fracture, probably from all of those kicks to the head, and several ribs had been broken, so he was pretty much just confined to the bed for now. Kotetsu was now in an isolated ward, apparently to prevent him from being encouraged to do more reckless things. All it really managed to to was make Kotetsu feel lonely.

It was during the second week that Kotetsu was confined to the bed. Lloyds had been in to ask when he was able to come back to work, but the Doctor's hadn't been able to give him a straight answer. "It all depends," they said, "on how much he can heal himself within the next week, or so. He's sustained a lot of injuries that he hasn't come to us about over the past month or so, so there's no guarrantees about anything."

He hadn't spent this long in a hospital since a ceiling beam had crashed into the back of his head four years ago and he'd gotten a seriously bad concussion and was bleeding like a stuck pig for about two hours. Hell, he hadn't seen this many bandages on his person for longer than that. He hadn't actually thought that the damages were that bad, but he couldn't really tell beyond personal experience. And, if he was being honest with himself, he often was pretty reckless and underestimated the effects of a lot of things.

He sat in bed, twiddling his thumbs and watching TV sometimes. At least the nursese made good tea, even though he'd forgotten how bland food was, and they wouldn't let him have mayo. There was nothing to do, other than complain, watch boring sitcoms, and think, and Kotetsu was beginning to regret waking up from his head injury induced coma in the first place. He'd also forgotten just how boring hospitals could get, sometimes, when you were left alone to think.

It was the begining of his third week in what was basically solitary confinement, and he was going a little crazy. That was the only explaination for why he came up with this...this delusion.

He'd figured out why the enigma that was Barnaby Brooks Jr bothered him so much. Why the blonde was so important to him, why he desprately wanted some kind of phone call, or a visit, or somethingfrom his partner, even if it was to tell him that he hated him and never wanted to speak to him again, which was extremely likely. Why he was so worried about him all the time, why he'd put up with his standoffishness and lied about sleeping with him that one night to protect what they had going.

Yeah, he was definitely going a little crazy if he thought that he even might be vaguely in love with him. He needed to get out of this room.

Bunny hadn't been to visit once. Not that he could blame him, really. Kotetsu pressed the back of his hand to his eyes and grit his teeth. He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up so bad. Shit, was he actually going to cry about this? That was selfish...He should have just told them in the first place, when there wasn't something as huge as Jake and Bunny involved. A couple frustrated tears leaked out beneath his arm, and his shoulders shook. Damn it.

There was a hesitant tap on his door, and he hastily wiped his face. He shouldn't cry, that would only put a damper on things, especially since this was his frist visitor in three days. The Heroes were busy, he knew. The quiet click of the door broke through the perfect, sterile silence.

"...Old man."

He cursed, and wiped harder before looking at the door, and he managed a somewhat watery, shaky smile. "...Hey Bunny." Christ, why was he still shaking? "There's a chair, if you want to sit." it wasn't his room, really, but he felt awkward if he didn't say anything to invite him in, and even more awkward with the blonde just kind of standing there, not looking at him. His partner still didn't say anything, but took a seat anyway. Each movement that he made closer to Kotetsu was tearing into him again and again, and he had to look away, lest his smile crumble further. His lips were already trembling, and he didn't need to let Bunny see this, see him so weak, Bunny couldn't-

"Kotetsu." Amber eyes widened, and he looked at his partner for the first time in just under a month. Barnaby looked like hell, dark circles under his eyes, which were red and puffy, and no doubt mimicked his own "It's your first name, isn't it?" he said nothing, but he didn't need to, the blonde already knew the answer. "You're always talking about relying on other people, about telling other people your problems and not bottling them up." he folded his hands in his lap calmly. "Isn't that a bit hypocritical?"

He bit his lip. "Bunny, I-"

"I know nothing about you, Kotetsu." Green eyes locked with his, and he couldn't look away, not from someone that determined and upset. It would be like kicking a puppy. "It was like pulling teeth to get you to tell me about Tomoe, and even then, I had to go to Rock Bison to find out her name. You expect me to trust you blindly when I know absolutely nothing!" Bunny was shaking too, he realized. A minute tremble running through his frame when his hands balled into fists and his eyes squeezed shut. It took him a minute, but the blonde calmed down enough to open his eyes and pin him down with a stare. "I only find out through slip-ups in your perfect character about you, or your family, or your past, or-or anything. I didn't even know your nameuntil that psycho yelled at you, for Christ's sake. Don't you see a problem with that? I..." an unsteady breath, and he ran his hands through his hair, messing it up.

"Show me." Kotetsu blinked at the command, "Your hip. Show me."

Breath hissed in through his teeth, and he pressed his hand to his face again. He tried again, "Bunny, I-"

Pale hands tore his hand away, forcing him to look his partner in the eye. "You're a coward." The blonde hissed, standing, gripping his wrist so hard it hurt. "Stop running away!"

"I-I can't." he could feel the rage coming off of Barnaby in waves, and he braced himself to be hit. "I don't...want you to hate me, Barnaby." it trailed off into a mumble, and he could feel the grip soften on his arm. "I know, it's stupid and selfish, but..." he laughed bitterly. "You wouldn't...look at me anymore." His hand went up, and landed on top of the blonde's head, ruffling the blonde's hair slightly. "Don't look at me with that face, Bunny. You'll hurt an old man's feelings." Kotetsu could taste salt, even though he was smiling. "Am I not allowed to?" 'to be selfish, to want you to look at me, to want to be your friend-' Bunny jerked away from the touch, looking like a scared rabbit, and it was almost cute, except for the part where it stung like a slap to the face.

"...Kotetsu-"

"Don't." Kotetsu breathed, and it was like choking. "...Just go. Please."

"Kotetsu-!"

He grabbed the hand that was still on the bedsheets, and squeezed it gently. "I'll tell you. I promise." it felt like the truth, but it could have been a lie, and Christ, he was a coward, wasn't he-"Just...not right now. Okay?" he tried another reassuring smile, but it came out all wrong, and he almost choked again. "Didn't I tell you to stop looking at me with that face? It's like you don't trust me."

Barnaby stood, and Kotetsu watched him go. It was the second most painful thing he had ever done in his entire life.

It was the end of the third week that he finally got to go home, but he was denied being able to go back to Heroing for at least another week, though he'd been contacted several times though his work "phone". Bunny hadn't contacted him since, though this time he knew that it was because of work. Someone had to pick up the slack when he wasn't around, after all, and since they had the same powers, it only made sense that Apollon Media would be working him twice as hard. There was no doubt in his mind that thanks to that, Bunny was now overworked all to hell. Honestly, that kid couldn't take care of himself, sometimes.

...At least, that was what he hoped was the cause. Not that he wished that his partner get all stressed out and wierd because of him, but it was the best scenario, considering the other possibilities. Kotetsu gently poked the now sututred wound on his side, mostly healed but still pretty tender. There was going to be a wicked scar there, that was for sure.

He didn't regret it. It was for Bunny, after all.

His shirt was off, sitting in his bedroom somewhere on the floor. It was getting late, not that he really needed to keep track of time. His shoulder had healed already, mostly thanks to his stunt with the Hundred Power. Even with the hospitals efforts, though, it still looked like someone had tried to make fabric with his skin a bit, though it was certainly better than it would have been. It wasn't pretty to look at, but then again, neither were scars in general, though Kotetsu was proud of most of them. They were proof that he'd risked himself for other people.

For some of them, that wasn't really the case. Some were proof that he'd spent time hurting other people, like the bullet wound in his shoulder that he'd gotten running away from a police officer when he was seventeen, or the stab in his lower back that he'd rather not think about. Small mercies, really, that there weren't too many of those types of scars. He could spend ages dwelling and beating himself up for the ones that he had, he didn't know what he would do with more.

He ran his fingers along the sutures gently, before pressing around the wound to check for any tenderness. Really, it was a miracle that he'd survived the thing, or so said the doctors. It wasn't everyday that someone came in with a good chunk of their side missing, he supposed, especially not a NEXT. They said that they had to hook him up to a blood transfusion for almost two hours to help regain the blood that he'd lost, and then an extra fifteen minutes because he just kept bleeding. Most of the bruises were gone, now, save for a select few. One on his wrist, shaped like a handprint and slightly yellowing around the edges (he'd prefer not to think about that one), and, of course, the extremely deep purple-black thing that was his left side where Jake had broken four of his ribs by kicking him into a wall. His back was probably torn to shreds from the impact on said wall, but he couldn't really see that, and it didn't matter. Little things like that would heal quickly, anyway. Kotetsu was sure that they were mostly gone by now.

Kotetsu sighed. He wanted to have a shower, but he knew that the hospital had forbidden him to do so. The sutures would dissolve, and he'd be left with a gaping wound again-Oh, his phone was ringing. He quickly put a new piece of gauze on the injury, secured it with some medical tape and pretty much sprinted for the bracelet he'd left on his bed. "Hello?"

"Oh honey~!" ah, it was Nathan. That was pretty unusual. "You know, you're really leading me on, answering the phone looking like that. It's very cruel~." the projection of his friend was moving around a lot as he put the bracelet on for simplcitiy's sake, but he could tell that there was a smile on the other man's face.

"I can answer the phone however I'd like." he laughed once he figured out what he was talking about. "Really, if half-nakedness bothers you so much, it's a wonder you survive the communal showers. I can put a shirt on, if you'd like."

Nathan batted his eyelashes, and if it were anyone else, it would be really wierd to see. "Oh, please. I wouldn't want to...impose on you like that." he said with a wink and a flirty smile. "And I can survive the communal showers perfectly well. I'm happy you care, honey."

Laughing again, Kotetsu was already slipping a black shirt over his head. "Yeah, but An-"

"Shh, hon. I'm at work." a perfectly manicured hand was brought to pink lips, and Kotetsu rolled his eyes.

"-Rock bison can't. Tell me these things beforehand, would you?" At least he was already wearing pants. Sponge baths were never as fun or relaxing as showers, and they took twice as long. He hadn't gotten around to his legs yet, and he was glad that he hadn't. "Anyway, what are you calling for, if you're at work? Shouldn't you be...I dunno, doing paperwork, or saving people or something more productive than talking to me?"

A pout formed on Nathan's face, and he was this close to rolling his eyes again. "Talking to you is always productive, love, especially when it considers you and Handsome~."

Kotetsu flopped down on his bed and sighed, causing the person he was on the phone with to blink. "Urgh. What is it now, with that kid?"

"Oh nothing, actually." Kotetsu raised an eyebrow at him. "He's overworked, and tired, and it's pretty obvious that you two must have had a fight or something. I was kind of hoping that you'd confide in me, to tell the truth, because he obviously isn't going to spill the beans." he cooed, and gestured flippantly. "And, for the record, I am doing paperwork, darling."

"I see." Kotestu smiled, and leaned forwards onto his hand. "And you figured that since Bunny wont tell you what's going on, I would?" he drummed his fingers on his beard. "Not happening, man. It's between me and him."

The pout was back in full force. "You are too mean to me, honey.

Why do I like the idea of Kotetsu and Nathan being bros so much? ^^If there are typos that I missed, sorry. I'm still sick orz