Chapter 24: Ghosts

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Our pain ravaged eyes meet and our swords cross…each stroke cutting away a piece of the newly laid mask I wear. Spirit and flesh retrieved from beneath hollow bone, I am brought to my knees before you. We both long to find the person I once was, but are pushed by fate and choices into this new future…

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Renji imagined that no one alive had crossed swords with Kuchiki Byakuya as many times as he had…first in raw challenge, then as enemies, then as comrades striving to grow alongside each other. He knew every move that Byakuya made and the intelligent mind, resolved heart and pure spirit beneath the flesh. And knowing his taichou and the love of his life as he did, he was deeply saddened to find nothing of that person in the man who faced him now.

The sword that clanged against Zabimaru was roughly laid and filled with raw emotion. Gone were the skillful cuts and parries, the graceful turns of his body and the sharp resolve that had cut down so many of his enemies that Renji couldn't even remember them all. The man who stood opposite him was thin and shaky. The hands that swung the blade shook softly and his movements were disjointed. His eyes were angry, but more burdened with pain and regret and instead of undoing Renji with intelligence and power, Byakuya strained against him, the weight of fighting quickly sapping what little strength was left.

He knew that the only right thing to do was to end the fight quickly…

He shattered a wave of incoming petals and took the noble off his feet with a well-placed kido spell. Flash stepping in, he reached for Byakuya's blade, but was forced back by a surge of half controlled blue flame that, although its wielder lacked strength and control, managed to still be somewhat dangerous. Their swords crashed together repeatedly, and each time, Renji sought never to cut the noble, but only to block and throw Byakuya off balance. The noble's eyes flared with impatience and frustration, two things he had nearly never seen cross that lovely visage before.

"Taichou," he said solemnly, locking their blades together and meeting the dark, tormented eyes, "Your heart isn't in this fight. You're still hurting from your injury. You need healing. Stop this and come with me to the healing center. We'll see to your injuries and we'll figure things out…"

But Byakuya was beyond speech. He yanked his weapon free and slashed at the redhead again…and it was then…watching the weakened noble continue to fight to the ends of his strength, that Renji began to understand what this fight was truly about. It had nothing to do with him at all…nothing to do with anything he had done or anything that had passed between him. Byakuya, was not fighting Renji…but his own weakness and helplessness. Forced to endure months of torment at the prince's hands, having watched with nothing he could do as Tohma struck out at everyone around him, his incredible powers and strength made useless and his resolve shattered by forced obedience, Byakuya had crumbled inside.

And now, the man who had spent countless hours…years even, bringing Renji to the peak of his abilities, had been reduced to the half-mad shadow who faced Renji with achingly furious eyes, a failing body and a badly broken heart.

But even having lost everything else, Byakuya still had pride…and that was what he used to batter himself, to force himself to stay on his feet long after he should have fallen, to rage against Renji with everything he had left, pouring it out until he was emptied and too exhausted to stand.

Renji felt his body calm. His weapon remained controlled in a relaxed hand, absorbing each shock as it was placed and allowing the pain ravaged noble full release of everything inside him. He sidestepped and easily evaded the heavy, intermittent bursts of kido and the swollen half-controlled swells of petals, using Zabimaru to protect himself and the distressed noble from serious injury.

Gradually, Byakuya's strength faded. His sword arm lowered and his body heaved with weariness. Renji said nothing and continue to block each move flawlessly. And when he saw a clear opportunity, he disarmed Byakuya, brought him to the ground and pinned him in place. To his surprise, Byakuya did not fight his grip, nor did he utter a sound. He lay quietly, facedown and restrained beneath Renji's body, his face turned aside and pillowed on his now-empty sword hand. The tension slowly drained out of his body and the dark eyes lost their fury. Now, they only looked sad and weary…and they didn't seek Renji at all, but cast themselves out across the dimming meadow, watching as the sun set and the stars began to appear. And as the last of the light faded, Renji felt cold fingers lace themselves together with his. He let himself relax then…releasing his hold on the defeated noble and nuzzling closer as they lay quietly in the meadow together, watching the moon rise.

"Taichou," Renji said finally, "you still need healing. Will you let me take you to the healing center?"

There was silence between them for several long minutes. Then the noble sighed softly in resignation.

"I would prefer not to go to the healing center as of yet," Byakuya said quietly, "I must speak with you privately first."

"Not here?" Renji asked, looking around.

"No," Byakuya answered, "Not here."

"Then…where?"

Byakuya thought for a moment.

"Karakura Town."

"Urahara's shop?"

"Only for the healing…then…I own a beach house. We will go there to talk."

Renji simply nodded, then rose and helped Byakuya to his feet. He opened a senkaimon and the two stepped forward to enter. Byakuya managed a few steps, then his eyes glazed over and he began to fall, Renji's arms simply captured him and pulled him close, then the redhead continued on through the precipice world and into Karakura Town. He carried the sleeping noble to Urahara's shop, waiting silently at Byakuya's side as Orihime was summoned and Byakuya was healed. Weary himself from all that had happened, he simply dropped down beside the deeply sleeping noble and curled his body protectively around him for the night.

He rose again at first light and gathering the still-sleeping noble into his arms again, he followed the shopkeeper's directions to the ocean's edge and brought them to the beach house Byakuya had mentioned. He carried the noble inside and laid him in a comfortable bed, then remained beside him, looking out over the pounding surf until the day ended and he curled up next to Byakuya and slept again.

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Byakuya felt life re-entering his body in stages. At first, he couldn't even open his eyes, but he felt the gentle weight of Renji's body against his back, scented the nearby ocean and heard the steady ebb and flow of the tides. He knew time was passing, but not how quickly. He was aware that days had gone by with Renji coming and going, bringing him food and coaxing him into taking a few bites here and there, before cleaning away the dishes and settling calmly at his side again.

It seemed wrong for Renji to have to carry the weight of things…to have to bear away the remains of the once strong person he had loved…a person who now lay in pieces.

But, he thought, as long as there were pieces, he could still somehow find a way to put himself back together. And as he did, he knew that part of what would strengthen him again, was seeing to the healing of the red-haired man who had remained so steadfastly at his side.

Yes…he wasn't the only one who needed healing. Renji needed him too. And now that he could breathe again, Byakuya wanted very much to go from being a source of Renji's pain to being a source of support and healing. They needed each other…now more than ever. He thought about the tiny infant, whose name was still unknown to him. Their child waited safely in Torio's protective arms and it was their sacred duty and responsibility to make themselves fit to be suitable parents for their child.

So he began with the small things. When Renji entered the room, he met the redhead's eyes warmly and expressed gratitude for what he was given. He ate what he could and fought the instant nausea that even the smell of food brought on. When Renji laid down next to him, he turned toward the redhead and curled into his arms. And when he saw sadness in the gentle red-brown eyes, he smothered Renji in kisses until he smiled again. But even as they supported each other, he knew there was work he had to do on his own. He had nearly ended up on the pathway that had led Tohma to ruin…and he wasn't going to allow that…not now. So, he gathered his courage, and one day when Renji walked into their bedroom, he took the tray of food from the redhead's hands and asked if they could talk for a while.

"Sure," Renji said, looking a little uncertain, as though he sensed that something was in the offing and wasn't sure he wanted to hear.

"I need you to do something for me," Byakuya said quietly, "…something important."

"Sure…what?"

Byakuya looked out over the crashing waves of the ocean, listening to the soothing sound that had helped his mind to settle and his heart to calm. He swallowed hard and forced the words out.

"I want to see our son."

A smile crept onto Renji's face.

"You do?" he asked, as though not quite believing.

"Yes," said the noble, "It is shocking that I do not even know my own son's name…"

"Koichi," said Renji, "I have to confess that I've been sending hell butterflies back and forth with Torio…and I've even slipped away a few times to see Koichi."

Byakuya smiled.

"I imagined you would have done right by him, even while dealing with me. Arigato, Renji."

He took a short breath.

"Do you have a picture of him?"

"Yeah," Renji said, "I have a few."

He reached into his breast pocket and removed a handful of photographs. Byakuya looked at them one by one, his eyes soft and adoring. He took one of the pictures and handed the rest back to Renji.

"May I hold on to this one?" he asked softly.

"Sure…hell, yes! Keep it. I'm…really glad to see you want to."

Byakuya met the redhead's eyes solemnly.

"I've been very selfish," he said, sighing and gazing down at the picture in his hand, "letting myself go in such a way that I haven't been there for him."

"Byakuya…you've been through a lot. Don't…"

"I am still this child's parent. And I will do right by our son. And you, Renji…I will do right by you as well."

Renji looked at him hopefully.

"Does that…mean we'll be going home?"

Byakuya studied the crashing waves and drew his knees up to his chest.

"I would like it if you could bring Torio and Koichi here. I would like for our family to be together. I will say more, once you return with them. Will you bring them here, Renji?"

"Yeah," said the redhead, starting to climb off of the bed.

"Wait," Byakuya said, placing a hand on the redhead's arm.

Renji gazed back at him questioningly.

"Renji…" Byakuya said softly, "Yesterday, while you were out walking, an official notice arrived from the spirit dimension. My marriage to Tohma has been dissolved. I am no longer bound to him."

He paused for a moment, watching the reaction in Renji's eyes. It was, he thought, a look of relief, but Renji still looked worried.

"I am not ready yet to make any long term decisions," he went on, "but…I do hope that despite how difficult things have been…that you still see a future for us."

Renji's lips curved into a charming smile.

"You don't have to worry about that, Byakuya," he answered, "I want for us to be together…even if it takes time to get that way. I told you how I felt that night we were together…before all of this started. I still feel that way…and I am…so glad that you feel that way too."

"Then…let's make a promise, Renji. Let's promise each other that, whatever happens, we will always stay together…in whatever way we are able. I don't know what form that will take…but I look forward to discovering it day by day with you and our son. And there is something else…"

"Huh?"

"Renji, I am going to adopt Torio into the family. He has been far more than a simple attendant. He has been devoted to my well being, and to that of our son. He endured a great deal…and is deserving of a better life."

"I think that's a great idea," Renji said, his smile widening, "And what about me? Will you adopt me into the family too?"

"You are already family," Byakuya assured him, "Official steps can be taken later, when we are ready…but I am already yours…if you still wish it."

"You know I do," Renji said quietly, "I'm never letting anything tear us apart again. Not ever…"

"Then…we are decided," Byakuya said softly, "Now, Renji…I want you to be with me. We haven't been together since…"

"Yeah…"

"I think we've waited long enough."

Renji answered with a gentle storm of kisses. Byakuya let the emotion settle over him like water running up onto the shore. He disappeared into the redhead's touches, and for the first time since they had made love beneath the sakura tree at Kuchiki Manor…since the night they had made their son, he wanted to be touched, to be held, to be kissed until he couldn't breathe. Renji yielded all that he desired and more, carrying him into breathless delight and the peaceful darkness of contented sleep that followed. When morning came again, Byakuya smiled and kissed the redhead, then watched quietly as he entered the senkaimon and left to bring Torio and Koichi.

He waited a moment, his mind replaying the lovely feel of Renji's body joining with his and his eyes straying to the picture of their son, then he summoned a hell butterfly.

Unohana taichou, I must ask a favor of you. I have made a decision about my treatment…and I need you to assist me in making preparations…and in explaining to my family. I thank you for your patience and counsel while I made this decision. I know now that it is the right one…

He breathed in deeply and let the breath out, watching as the hell butterfly disappeared. He left the bedroom then and walked out onto the beach and stood silently, watching the waves spin and dance as they rolled in towards the shore.