Title: The Last Night To Be Brave
Author: an-alternate-world
Rating: M
Characters/Pairings: Kurt/Blaine relationship, Blaine/Santana friendship, Santana/Dave friendship
Word count: 2,553
Summary: He thinks she needs a friend. She thinks he needs to mind his own business. What she doesn't know then is she's going to need him this year more than she ever could have imagined.
Warnings/Spoilers: Angst. There is talk of suicidal ideation and an attempt some chapters. It's not particularly graphic, but it is there. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE don't read it!
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Glee, FOX, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the Glee universe.
"Kurtie, why is your dolphin not here?" Brittany exclaimed as she pushed Artie into the choir room.
"He's sick," Kurt replied quietly, picking at his fingernails so he could avoid her gaze.
"Oh," she took a seat next to Kurt and waited for Mr. Schue and the rest of the Glee club to wander in. "I didn't know dolphins got sick."
Kurt nodded and dug his fingers into the palm of his hand. He knew Santana was awake and Blaine was with her but it didn't make things easier. Attending his own classes, participating, pretending everything was okay while picking up work for the two was hardly a cheerful assignment.
Everything was fine for about twenty minutes, as Rachel discussed her desire to sing Christmas songs at a special assembly. Mercedes was insisting it was a bad given the riot that had occurred last time when they had performed 'Toxic' but Quinn was arguing that it was Christmas songs and what sort of riot could possibly occur from that?
"Where's Santana?" Brittany suddenly piped up, her lilting voice breaking through the chaos of Glee club. The others glanced around and suddenly became aware of her absence. Kurt gritted his teeth.
"That's not important right now, Brittany," Rachel waved it off. "What is important is that I-"
"Where's Santana?" Brittany shrieked, shocking Rachel into silence. Artie placed his hand on hers in an attempt to quieten her.
"I'm sure she's just sick or something," Finn shrugged.
"Blaine's sick too," Brittany said, glancing at Kurt who was pointedly staring at the floor. "Are they sick together, Kurt?"
He could feel their eyes, burning into head. Every single one of them was looking at him. "Yes, Britt."
"Why are they sick together? I thought he was your dolphin," Brittany said, confused.
"He is mine," Kurt said softly. "But sometimes people get sick because they're friends. Blaine and Santana hung out last week and must have gotten sick with something then."
He saw her forehead crease with confusion before it cleared and she nodded. "I hope I don't get sick if Artie does. I like taking care of people!"
That seemed to end the focus on Kurt and Brittany. Rachel, Mercedes and Quinn launched back into why they should (or should not) do a Christmas medley. Mr. Schue sat to the side, marking some freshman Spanish quizzes. Eventually though, even he grew tired of the arguing and called an end to the lesson, at which point Rachel picked up her things and merely continued her rant to Mercedes about all the solos she would get and why it was such a good idea, Quinn trailing and rolling her eyes.
Kurt was quiet, hauling his bag over a shoulder and cringing at how heavy it was from the work of three people. He left the room and nearly ran into Puck skulking outside the door.
"So what's really going on?" the mohawked boy asked, falling into step with Kurt.
"I have no idea what you're asking, Noah," Kurt said dismissively, hoping to get away, hoping he could avoid this.
"With Santana and Blaine. Don't bullshit me," his hand touched Kurt's arm. "Brittany might be an airhead who accepts simple explanations but Santana's my girl."
"Oh really?" Kurt whirled on him, hands bunched and eyes blazing as he shrugged off Puck's stupid arm. "If she's your girl, how come she spends all her time with Blaine, or me, or Karofsky? If she's your girl, how come you haven't asked her how she is in months? If she's your girl, how come she feels so fucking alone?"
Puck stared, because Kurt never swore and he was kind of so right that it hurt. "But she knows I'm h-"
"Here for her?" Kurt laughed, cynical and anguished and angry. "Like fuck you are, Noah. Now get out of my way."
It didn't matter if Kurt had grown several inches in the past few years. He was still smaller than Puck who played on the football team.
"Kurt," he said, grabbing the smaller boy's shoulders, turning him around and holding him in place. "What's happened?"
And something in Kurt snapped, his face creasing as his emotions crashed over him. Puck stared for a moment before awkwardly pulling him closer and patting his in a way he hoped was soothing. Kurt was mumbling under his breath and Puck tried to hear it but it seemed like nonsense and gibberish so he just stood, arms around the smaller boy and waiting for the tears to pass.
As bizarrely as it had started, Kurt was moving away and wiping his eyes, breathing deeply to calm himself down. "Sorry."
"Well, I uh…if I wasn't freaked out before, I am now?" Puck attempted.
Kurt's smile was watery. "They aren't sick," he admitted.
"No shit," Puck replied, starting to walk towards the parking lot while Kurt followed.
"She um…she's been living with Blaine the last few months."
"She what?" Puck exclaimed, turning so fast his neck hurt.
"It's her story to tell but um, yeah. She's been with him. And…last night…she…well," Kurt breathed in shakily, eyes trained on the floor. "She's in the hospital right now."
"Jesus, Hummel," Puck breathed, running his hand across his mohawk. "You've been holding this all day?"
Kurt nodded, pushing open the front doors of the school and squinting as the sunlight hit his swollen eyes.
"Can I get a ride with you there?" Puck asked.
"I'm not sure sh-"
"It wasn't really a question. I don't care if she wants me there or not. I'm going, and you can either drive me or…well, you're driving me," Puck said, standing at the passenger side of Kurt's Navigator. Kurt sighed and unlocked the car, throwing his bag onto the backseat.
The ride to the hospital wasn't that long but it was made in an awkward silence while Puck stared out the window and clenched his jaw. He had missed out on so much with Santana in the past few months and he wasn't sure how on earth he could make it up to the girl. When Kurt had parked, Puck hopped out and strode towards the entrance before realising he didn't know where Santana was. Kurt led the way up to the adolescent ward and entered while Puck lagged behind, suddenly overwhelmed by anxiety. Maybe he wasn't meant to be here…
Santana and Blaine were curled up on the bed, talking quietly and Blaine snuggling the girl in his arms. They both glanced up when Kurt entered and Blaine extricated himself, hugging Kurt tightly and kissing him softly.
"Ugh," Santana muttered under her breath.
"Good to see you too," Kurt said. "At least, you know, not covered in blood."
Santana rolled her eyes at him. "I swear to God, I will rip you apart."
"You wouldn't dare," Kurt shrugged, settling down in the chair next to the bed as Blaine sat on the edge, taking Santana and Kurt's hands in each of his.
"Try me," Santana replied, lip curling.
Kurt sighed at her. "Oh please. You can be as much of a bitch as you want but I'm not falling for that right now."
Blaine sat quietly and stroked his thumb across Kurt's hand soothingly.
"What did you say at school?" Santana finally said.
"I said Blaine was sick, and if anyone asked, that you were too. No one really questioned how or why you were both sick except Brittany but I said it was just because you hung out last week and must have picked something up," Kurt explained and Santana relaxed, but Blaine could see a bit of tension lingering because Kurt was fidgeting with his scarf.
"What is it?" he asked his boyfriend.
"Um…Puck didn't believe me," he said, eyes darting to Santana and away again.
"What did you say?" Santana said sharply.
"Nothing!" Kurt said, throwing up his free hand defensively. "Well, not the truth. Not really. He's…outside. Insisted I drive him here."
"Shit," Santana muttered. "Fine. PUCK!"
The boy in question poked his head around the doorway and attempted a smile. "Hey San."
Santana looked at Blaine and Kurt. "Out. Now."
"Are you sure?" Blaine asked warily.
"Get out, hobbit," she snapped and Blaine tugged Kurt from the room, sharing a look with Puck before he left. Puck swallowed and inched towards the bed.
"The fuck, San?" Puck said.
Santana glared at him. "Don't pretend you give a shit now. You've all been absent from my life for fucking months."
"And now I'm here and trying to make up for it!" he shouted. "What the fuck happened?"
"I'm gay," she said tightly. "I realised it last year. I love Brittany. And I told her. And she's still with Artie."
He stared at her. Blinked. And blinked again. "Okay," he nodded slowly. "Okay, so you're a lesbian. That's fine. Whatever. How did you end up here?"
Tiredly, Santana peeled the sleeves back of the hospital gown she had been forced into and displayed her bandaged wrists. It was enough. Puck got it. He paled and stepped away.
"You…fuck Santana. What the…fuck. Jesus," he clenched his hands into such tight fists his knuckles were white. She could see his jaw working because the little point at his temple was pulsing. "You tried to fucking kill yourself?"
Santana cringed and looked away. "Yes. Yes, okay? I tried to bleed out all over Blaine's bathroom floor and stop it all from hurting."
"Stop what?"
Santana narrowed her eyes and pushed the sleeves back down. "You don't get to care now."
"I never stopped!" he yelled, and he knew someone would come in soon to take him away. "I care about you, Santana! I have for as long as we've known each other which is, what, like, eight years? What the fuck made you think giving up was a good idea?"
Santana's face crumpled and she wrapped her arms around her stomach. Puck heard the door open and he felt a hand on his shoulder which he shrugged off but then Blaine was in front of him and his face hurt and his stunned mind slowly processed that hobbit boy had slapped him. Which was kind of a girly thing to do but damn did it then the red tint to his gaze cleared and he could think again as Kurt dragged him out of the room. He caught Blaine wrapping Santana in his arms before the door slammed shut and Puck was left wondering when the hell they had gotten so close and how he hadn't seen it.
"What the hell, Noah?" Kurt shrieked as soon as the door was closed. He could see a nurse at the end of the corridor look up and he shifted from one foot to the other.
"I was mad, okay?" He was fuming, really. "I was hurt and I was scared and she's so damned stubborn!" He turned away so he could pace around the tiny corridor. He could feel the guilt. He could feel the thoughts niggling in his mind that he should have tried harder, he should have talked to her, he should have noticed something had been off the whole year. But he'd been trying to deal with Quinn and Lauren and Santana and he had kind of just…stopped happening at some point. And now he regretted not forcing the issue with her more.
"And you thought it would be a good idea to shout at her?" Kurt said, eyebrow raised.
"I don't know! I'm a male with out-of-control emotions when I find out a friend of mine tried to commit suicide!"
Kurt fell silent and looked at the ground, breathing through his nostrils deeply as he tried to quell the emotions bubbling in his stomach.
"Listen to me, Puckerman," Kurt said in a low voice, and Puck could see the anger still flashing through Kurt's eyes. "You tell no one about this, do you hear me? No one. Unless Santana feels it's pertinent, you keep this whole issue to yourself like I wished I could have done until you had to stick your stupid Jewish nose into it." Puck scowled. "No one, got it?"
"Fine," Puck growled. "I'm leaving. Tell her I said goodbye. Or something."
Kurt watched as he turned on his heel and walked away, sighing deeply before re-entering Santana's room where she was still crying in Blaine's arms. Blaine looked up at him and mouthed 'Sedative' and Kurt nodded, hurrying off to find a nurse who found some drugs and administered them into Santana's IV as Kurt wrung his hands anxiously.
She soon calmed and tried to glare through sleepy eyes at Blaine. "I know what you…did," she slurred, jabbing at Blaine's chest as he laid her down.
"You'll thank me later," he whispered, stroking her hair off her face as she fell into a drug-induced sleep.
It hadn't occurred to either Kurt or Blaine that Blaine's apartment was going to be a mess when they returned. The nurses had insisted Blaine go home and get some sleep so Kurt had driven him back and unlocked the door, supporting his weary boyfriend. Blaine said something about needing a shower and it wasn't until he was at the bathroom door that it actually hit.
Wordlessly, Kurt retrieved the bucket and mop from the laundry and filled it up while Blaine entered his bedroom and fell on his bed. He needed a shower but he couldn't handle it right now. And although the sight of so much blood turned Kurt's stomach, perhaps even more so because it was Santana's and she was a friend and he cared so much for her, he scrubbed at it and cursed when some of the grouting remained a dark copper. He kept pouring bleach and cleaning fluids over the spots a few were stuck fast. Kurt hoped no one would notice.
He tipped out the dirty, reddened water and entered his boyfriend's room. Blaine was curled around a pillow, eyes open but sightless, staring at the wall. It broke Kurt's heart and he crawled into the bed beside Blaine, spooning him from behind as he held Blaine tightly to his chest. He could feel Blaine's silent sobs as his shoulders quaked he hummed quietly. Blaine linked his fingers with Kurt's hand and pressed a soft kiss to Kurt's palm in thanks, slowly being soothed to sleep.
When Kurt was satisfied he could pull away from Blaine just enough, he sent off a text to his father that Blaine wasn't well and he needed to stay the night. His father's response was a short "Talk when home tomorrow" but he knew his father would rela when Kurt had properly explained. He snuggled against Blaine and the exhaustion finally took hold as he slept.
A/N: Apologies to any readers of Who You Gonna Call? for the lack of update. I've had a busy week and a scattered mind and just haven't been able to write anything for it.
Thanks to all who read this and review it! xx