DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN MERLIN, IT ALL BELONGS TO THE BBC

Chapter 2. Enjoy.

Merlin stirred slightly, but then flinched at the burning pain scorching his body. He wanted to cry out, but his mouth would not move. He didn't know what had happened, where was he?

"Merlin?" asked a soft voice. He struggled to remember where he recognized the voice from, and exhaled quickly to try and ease the pain.

"Merlin? Can you hear me?"

"Yes," he managed to croak out.

"Esyllt? Can you do anything?" the voice asked. Who was Esyllt?

"No," another, younger, voice said sadly. "He will live, but there's nothing more I can do."

"Here Merlin, can you drink this?" A glass was pressed against his lips. His tongue darted out, desperate for some moisture to help his parched throat. Water slowly flowed into his mouth. Finally, he had had enough, and turned his head away, spilling water down his front in the process.

"Thanks," he said hoarsely, but at least his throat was not as painful.

"Can you open your eyes, Merlin?"

He struggled to control his eyelids, desperate to see and understand what was going on. He eventually succeeded in opening his eyes, and light filtered through.

"Morgana?" he asked in confusion.

"Merlin," she sighed in relief. "I wasn't sure you'd make it."

"What- What happened? Where am I?"

"Uther found out, remember?" she replied, her face twisting in dislike as she spoke her father's name.

"Wha-" oh. The memories were slowly coming back now.

Merlin shut his eyes, barely able to feel the pain shooting up his body.

"Always," he murmured.

"I remember," he said.

"You helped me," the girl's voice said, and this time Merlin could see that it belonged to the druid girl he had tried to rescue.

"So I d-" he tried to say, but ended up coughing half-way through the sentence. His eyes watered, and a burning pain shot through his chest.

"Sleep, Merlin," a voice whispered. His eyes closed, and the pain faded away into nothingness.

"How long will he be like this?" he heard a voice ask.

"I don't know, my lady,"

"It's Morgana," the woman's voice said, "not 'my lady'. I am not a lady"

"Oh, but you are," the second voice murmured quietly.

Merlin succumbed to sleep again.

"I have water for you, Merlin,"

A cool glass of water was pressed to his lips and greedily, he drank it. He coughed, the water having gone down the wrong way, but still drank more. Anything to ease his parched throat.

"Is he getting better?" a child's voice asked.

"I don't know," the woman replied.

Merlin slept.

"Arthur's running patrols all the time now, Merlin," she said softly. "I think he's looking for you."

"The knights are out as well," the girl's voice added. "The nice ones anyway, the ones that tried to protect me."

Leon. Lancelot. Elyan. Gwaine. Percival. The Knights of the Round Table.

"Can you hear us, Merlin? Arthur's looking for you. You need to get better."

I'm trying, he wanted to say. But instead, he fell into blackness again.

"My la- Morgana, how long will he be like this?"

"I don't know, Esyllt, I really don't know."

"Merlin, come on, please. I didn't go to all that trouble of rescuing you just for you to die on me."

"He woke up before, why won't he again?"

"I don't know Esyllt. Isn't there anything you can do?"

"I gave him energy to live, but anymore and I would have to sacrifice my own life."

"Come on then, Merlin. It's up to you now."

"Morgana?" he croaked when he woke up next. His eyes still wouldn't open, but at least the burning heat had gone.

"Merlin!"

"You're awake!"

"Water," he gasped, and immediately, the cool liquid was poured down his throat.

"Open your eyes, Merlin," Morgana asked. He slowly did, and allowed the shining light to tiptoe into his sight.

"How- How long-" he tried to ask.

"You've been here for a week. You woke up two days after we got here, but then have been in and out of consciousness for a few days. The burns- we think they got infected. You had a bad fever."

"Arthur-"

"He seems ok," Morgana said, looking away. She still didn't know what to think when it came to her brother.

"Why . . ."

"Why did I help?" she finished for him. "I- I don't know. I had a vision . . . I couldn't let another sorcerer burn. Not after I lost Morgause."

"She's a lady," the girl – Esyllt? – said.

"Stop that, Esyllt. I'm not a lady," Morgana said firmly.

"Lady Morgana," Merlin murmured.

"I lost that title when I left Camelot," she said, an undercurrent of regret in her voice. "I lost that title when I abandoned my people."

"Morgana-"

"Don't say anything, Merlin. I was an idiot, and cruel, and a murderer, and I shouldn't have done what I did."

"Why the change?" he asked in confusion.

"Morgause's death- It cleared a lot of things for me. Uther is a murderous tyrant," she said, "but Arthur's not. And you don't deserve to die, either."

Merlin snorted. "Thanks," he coughed. "I think."

"I'm- I'm sorry, Merlin."

Esyllt took her hand. "My father always said that the past is the past, and it's the future that makes the difference."

"Your father is a wise man," Merlin muttered.

"Where is your father, Esyllt?" Morgana questioned, realising that she had yet to inquire as to where the girl lived.

"Dead," the druid girl replied shortly, "as is my mother."

"I'm sorry," murmured Morgana, and she squeezed the tiny hand clutching hers. "When . . .?"

"When did they die?" the girl continued for her. "About a month ago. They were killed by a group of men who saw them practising magic and discovered they were druids."

"Esyllt-"

"I survived," she said quietly. "It's the future that makes the difference."

Merlin felt his eyes begin to shut. "Esyllt," he said quietly, "was Uther responsible for their death?"

"No," she said surely, "it was the men's decision to follow Uther's teachings, not his. And besides, the past is the past, it's-"

"The future that makes the difference," finished Morgana softly. She rested her head in her hands and closed her eyes.

Smiling gently, Merlin fell asleep.

"Come on, Merlin," Esyllt said two days later. "You have to move at some point."

"Oh, I don't know, it's quite comfortable down here on the floor," he said, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Merlin," she said, her bottom lip pouting. "Morgana said you can try and get up today."

"You're a horrible little girl," he said, reaching out to tickle her. She squealed and jumped away.

"Come on," she giggled. "Just try."

Merlin sighed, and shifted his weight so that he was lying on his back. Even that small amount of movement caused a searing pain to shoot down his back and he winced. Closing his eyes briefly, he breathed deeply through the pain.

"Merlin?" he heard Esyllt ask. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," he said raggedly. "Just give me a minute."

She was silent.

"Ok," he said, opening his eyes again. "I'm going to try."

"Finally," she muttered under her breath, and smirked at him.

Merlin took a deep breath, and pushed downwards with his hands. He was moving, up and up, and he was there! He was sitting upright and there was almost no pain until a fierce burning fire travelled along his body and he cried out, the memories of the flames searing his body rising to the surface, and he was falling and falling, until-

"Merlin, you idiot," Morgana said from behind him.

He took a shuddery breath and concentrated on breathing once again.

"Esyllt, get him some water, why don't you?" she said, and a moment later the crystal clear liquid was coursing down his throat, smoothing his fear and neutralising the pain.

"Thanks," he said, realising that it must have been Morgana who had caught him, and even now she was supporting him. He was sitting upright!

"You shouldn't have tried so suddenly," she snapped at him. "You're supposed to be resting, not injuring yourself even more."

"But you said he should try and move!" Esyllt cried indignantly.

"Not as much as that!"

"But-"

"It's not her fault, Morgana," Merlin interjected calmly.

"I-" she said, then sighed. "I know. Sorry, Esyllt."

"That's ok," the girl muttered, still smarting from the reprimand.

"What's up with you today anyway, Morgana?" Merlin asked. "First you hand us some bread and tell Esyllt to try and get me to move, then you storm off and don't appear back for ages, when you suddenly come in and start snapping at Esyllt! It's not like you."

"Well, maybe it is, have you thought of that?" she threw back at him. "Maybe this is the real me!"

"Morgana-"

"No!" she cried, "I'm fed up with you two carrying on like I'm some sort of saviour, just because I helped you. I'm not! Do you know how many people I killed? I'm a murderer, not a lady!" She got up, leaving Merlin to fall to the ground, winded, and flew out of the room. Esyllt and Merlin gazed after her, confused.

"What was that?" Esyllt asked.

"I think it finally hit her," Merlin replied slowly. "She had no reason to question her actions for a long time, bound up in her hatred for Uther. But now- Now she's done something that is good, something that the old her would have done, and she has to re-evaluate everything which she had accepted about herself."

"Like the fact that she is no longer a lady," Esyllt murmured.

"Yeah," Merlin agreed, "and the fact that she doesn't care for anyone but herself and maybe Morgause. But now she's let us into her heart again, and everything she knows has been twisted."

"Will she be back?" Esyllt asked, worried. Merlin could see her anxiety rolling off her.

"Yeah," he said, although unsure himself. "I'm sure she'll be back soon."

Morgana crept in later that night to see Esyllt and Merlin curled up next to each other on the floor. She sighed, exhausted, and settled down next to them. She'd done a lot of thinking that day and, although she knew she could never erase the terrible things she'd done, she wanted to try and start again. Her head had never felt so clear.

"I hate you," she whispered harshly into the still night, "but I have something more important than you to live for, now."

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, you know," Merlin's sleepy voice teased her.

"Shut up, Merlin," she said.

He snorted, yawned, and closed his eyes again. "Go to sleep, Morgana. It'll all look better in the morning."

"I don't know," she said softly, "it looks pretty good now."

"Sleep, my lady," he said tiredly.

"I'm not a lady,"

"You keep thinking that," Merlin said, but drifted off to sleep before he heard Morgana's reply.

"How can I be?" she asked herself silently. "After the things I did?"

"Morgana!" she heard Esyllt cry in her ear. "You're back!"

"Of course she is," Merlin's amused voice said to the young girl. "I told you she would be, didn't I?"

Morgana groaned, trying to cling to the last few drops of comforting sleep.

"Come on, Esyllt, let Morgana sleep. Lady's have to have their beauty sleep, you know that,"

"'m not a lady," she mumbled.

Merlin laughed, a clear and serene sound that seemed to fill the little cave they were staying in. "Course not," he answered.

"Bread?" Esyllt asked.

"That would be good, thanks," Merlin replied.

"There isn't any," Morgana said, finally opening her eyes to the bright sunlight outside. She yawned.

"What do you mean?"

"We ate it all," she murmured. "We're going to have to forage or something."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere," Merlin said, a trace of bitterness in his voice. He gestured to his body, and Morgana winced when she saw the twisting burns across his lower body, still harsh and painful.

"We need some more salve for those, as well," she said.

"Where are you going to get that from?" Merlin asked harshly. "Conjure it? Walk up to Gaius and say 'hey, sorry I tried to kill you a while ago, but can I have some salve?' Yeah, that'll go down well."

Morgana flinched. "I-"

"Save it," Merlin snapped. "What's done is done."

Esyllt was silent for once, and slipped her hand in Merlin's.

A few moments of quiet passed, the only sound heard was the warlock's ragged breathing.

"Sorry," he said at last. "That was uncalled for."

"No, you're- You're right," she said to him. "I deserved that. I'm sorry."

"It's ok," he murmured.

"Where are we going to get some salve from, though?" she asked. "You're right, there's nowhere we can go."

"You can't," Esyllt piped up, "but I can."

"What do you mean, Esyllt?" Merlin questioned her.

"I know some druids I could get some from," she said, smiling.

"But-"

It's a good idea," Morgana muttered. "No one will remember her, anyway, whereas we're wanted all over the kingdom."

"I can go today?" the young girl said.

Merlin sighed. "I don't like the idea of you wandering around by yourself, but it doesn't look like we have any choice."

"Try and get some food if you can," Morgana added.

"Ok," Esyllt said happily, and left from the cave. "I'll be back tonight!"

Morgana and Merlin looked at each other. "She'll be fine," Morgana assured him.

"I hope so," he said.

"In the meantime," the sorceress said, "you need to try and move again."

He groaned.

"I'll be here to help this time, though," she comforted him. "And you know you can't stay lying down for too much longer, your muscles are going to waste away."

"Fine," he sighed, but made no move to get up.

"Here," Morgana said, placing her hands on his back and pushing upwards slightly. Merlin followed her movements, putting his hands flat on the floor and pushing upwards. He gasped, the pain searing through him, but carried on. Morgana whispered encouragements in his ear.

"Nearly there, Merlin, keep going,"

"I'm trying," he forced out through gritted teeth.

"Come on, a little bit further,"

And then, finally, he was upright, his back ramrod straight to avoid stretching the burns, and breathing heavily.

"You did it," Morgana said, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"Yeah," he said softly. "I managed to sit up."

"It'll take time," she murmured in his ear, understanding his unspoken words. "You have no idea how badly you were hurt."

"I think I have some idea," he snapped, his face still screwed up from the pain coursing through his body.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"My lady-"

"Morgana," she corrected him immediately. He rolled his eyes.

"Morgana, then," he said, "You don't have to apologise constantly, you know."

She said nothing.

"While I may not have forgotten, I have forgiven you. The rest will simply take time."

"But-" she started, shaking her head, "How? How can you possibly have forgiven me?"

"You're trying to make amends for your mistakes, Morgana," he said gently. "I know you regret it all,"

She looked down, still confused.

"Also," he added, "have you considered the fact that you may have been enchanted?"

"What?" she said, drawing her eyes up to his.

"You said your head felt clearer after Morgause died, and I've personally witnessed your sudden change around," he explained.

She shook her head, "Morgause- She- She was my sister. She- She wouldn't."

Merlin shrugged. "Would you ever have thought you'd kill innocents either?"

She said nothing.

"Just think about it," he said, and turned to stare out of the cave's entrance, a wistful look on his face.

You're a strange boy, Merlin, she thought to herself, but a good man.

It was night the next time the two of them spoke. Morgana had spent the day foraging around near the cave, attempting to find some edible food, whereas Merlin slept most of the day. The light of the moon was seeping slowly into the cave when Merlin stirred and pushed himself up onto his elbows, glad that he at least could move in a small way.

"Morgana?" he called out, unable to see her.

She appeared at the entrance of the cave. "I'm here," she said quietly.

"Is Esyllt back yet?"

"No," she shook her head slowly. "I haven't seen her."

Merlin bit his lip in worry, but simply sighed, "ok,"

Morgana came and sat next to him on the floor, her shining ebony hair hanging forward over her face as she looked at the ground. Merlin said nothing, sensing she was gathering the courage to speak.

"The hatred was all mine," she murmured at last. "Uther- He is a monster, and I don't regret trying to kill him."

"I know," Merlin said gently, taking her hand.

"The rest-" she shook her head. "I think you may be right. I- I can't imagine doing anything like that in my right mind. And my brain is a lot clearer now. I can- I don't know – think. I can think now."

"I'm glad," Merlin said.

And that was how they slept, next to each other, Merlin holding her hand, as the night darkened and solidified. And the two of them together, holding each other, kept away all the burning dreams. For that night, at least.

"She's still not back," Merlin vaguely heard Morgana say anxiously. "Merlin!" she cried in frustration, "I know you're awake! I'm telling you, Esyllt is not back yet!"

Merlin slowly opened his eyes, blinking heavily to rid himself of all the sleepiness. "Still?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"She said she'd be back yesterday, and she's not!"

"Ok," he said calmly, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know," she said in anguish. "I- I can't lose her."

Merlin looked at her, alarmed by the extent of her grief. "What-?"

"She- She saved me," Morgana whispered brokenly. "I didn't know how to feel after Morgause and Uther and everything, and she saved me."

"Ok," he said again.

"I don't know what to do!"

"Well, I'm not going anywhere," he said steadily, "so, it's up to you-"

"I can't leave you like this," she cried. "You're still injured. You can't even stand up."

"And thank you for reminding me," Merlin muttered sarcastically. "Have you tried scrying?"

"Yeah," she said, "But I can't see anything."

"Well," Merlin reasoned, "If she's still with the druids, they probably would have protections against it."

"You're not helping,"

"Sorry!"

"Merlin, what are we going to do?" she asked seriously.

"There's not much we can do," he said softly. "We just have to wait."

She sat down heavily next to him, and placed her hand on his leg. He flinched, but decided he could deal with the pain if it gave Morgana a little bit of comfort.

"I didn't go through all the difficulty of rescuing her just so she could die now," she whispered.

"She'll be fine," he murmured.

"You don't know that," she replied.

"I do," he answered quietly. "She's strong."

I hope you liked this and, as promised, this update was regular - only a day after the previous. It was for me, anyway, I don't know about people outside of the UK.

Please review! I welcome all opinions.

ForeverChasingDreams