Ed's eyes adjusted to the blinding light. As his pupils came to focus, he saw that he was somehow in his room. His upper body shot up, sweat covering him.
Eyes darting around the room, he saw that everything was normal. No Nazi Zombies, no Dog Soldiers, no Cloverfield 2, nothing was what happened before.
Ed slowly got out of his bed, expecting rotten hands to come from under his bed and drag him to his doom. Slowly, he reached for his gun, but then realized he had no gun. Looking in his old bathroom mirror, he saw that he had his regular clothes on: a green jacket, red-and-white striped undershirt, sneakers, and blue jeans.
'It was all a dream', he thought with a grin, 'an amazing adventure of a dream.'
And for what seemed like the first time ever, he sprang up the stairs with a spring in his step, and practically ran out the door to hug his friends.
He dreamed of what scams Eddy would have them do, what bibblebabble Double D would say, and how he would screw it up with the tripping of his feet.
It was only when he exited the house did his plans take a major U-turn.
Peach Creek was gone.
The houses were crumbling, burned-out car crashes were scattered here and there, corpses littered the streets. Ed instantly frowned, his thoughts going back to the evil dream he had.
"Raugh...", went a voice, the primal growl in it's voice almost speaking as if alive. Ed slowly turned around, and was face-to-face with a gray, rotten, hideous, maggot-ridden, soul-less thing.
The dirty old uniform it wore was putrid and shit-brown, with the Nazi swastika on the shoulders of the thing. Before Ed could react, the thing lashed out an arm, slashing Ed right across the chest. Blood squirted out from the shreds, and Ed brought his gun to bear.
Wait...gun?
Somehow, Ed had his dream clothes on. The Demolitions Officer uniform, complete with weaponry, items, explosives, everything!
Ed just went along with it and blew the thing's head off in a splash of blood and gore. Gray brain matter splattered on Ed's gas mask, blood squirted on his trench coat, and the demonic thing collapsed at his boots. The Nazi swastika gleaming off it's shoulders in the faint sunlight that shot through the scattered holes in the dark, black sky that turned ugly because of the smoke.
Ed shook his head, not coming of terms with what he just witnessed and did. The Nazi zombies were real! It wasn't a dream!
"AHHH!", Ed screamed, running down Peach Creek Main Street, passing more scenes of death and destruction. The Candy Store, to Ed's ultimate horror, was still burning, any candy in it gone in the hot burning fire that engulfed the building. The school was gone, just gone. Smoking rubble was all that remained, debris and bodies scattered like confetti around the site.
Continuing on, Ed saw that the old Clubhouse was destroyed again (They rebuilt it after Big Picture Show), blackened and burned wood spread out over a 50-yard area around the tree the Clubhouse was situated in. Running past even more horrible images, Ed suddenly stopped, eyes round as saucers...
The body of Johnny 2x4 lay in front of him, skin melted in a puddle of brown, red, and rotten goo, skull gleaming white, the singed remains of Plank in his hands.
Ed had no time to mourn, as he heard growling coming from the alley near him. Running away from Johnny and Plank's corpses, Ed jumped over cars and debris in his way, even barreling through a semi-trailer.
Running, running, running...SCREECH!
Ed suddenly screeched to a halt, and backed up, unaware or not caring about the zombies slowly closing in on him. He was looking at a Chevy car dealership, and right smack in the middle of destroyed vehicles, shining bright in random sunlight and utterly unscathed, was a pure black 2011 Camaro.
Ed went wide-eyed and began to tear up, he rushed the car and jumped in, seeing that the keys were still in it. Smiling devilishly at the zombie horde in front of him, Ed cranked the car up, shivering to the purr of the engine, and floored the peddle.
The car jerked forward and stopped, out of gas...
"DAMMIT!", yelled Ed, jumping out of the car. The zombie horde was still crawling ever so slowly towards Ed. Ed found some gas cans, filled the car up, checked and changed the oil, replaced the rims, pumped up the tires, and cranked it up, shivering at the purr of the engine, smiling devilishly at the zombie horde ten-feet from him.
VROOM!
Ed crushed and crashed through the horde, blood splattering the car, which washed off when he drove through a bridge submerged in five feet of water.
200 miles and 23 hordes later...
Ed's new Camaro, now black and red, pulled up a gas station in the middle of Knotts Exxon in Lilesville, North Carolina.
Ed entered the gas station, stepping over the piles of zombies, paid for gas and snacks (because the Knotts were still alive), and drove off. Entering the actual town, a heap of old buildings and a park with overgrown everything and a rusting playground, Ed stopped at Whitt's, another gas station, to air his tires.
Since there was nobody in the store, he took as many things as he could and stuffed it all in the car.
Moan...
Ed's head jerked up, searching for the source of the noise.
Thump...thump...thump...
The bathroom...
Thump...thump...thump...
Ed raised his gun and quickly but quitly sprinted inside the store again, heading for the bathroom.
Thump...thump...thump...
Ed's breath quickened, his finger on the trigger, sweat on his head...
Thump...thump...thump...
Ed slowly reached for the knob to the bathroom, turned it and slowly opened the door. What he saw made him slackjawed and most likely scarred him for life...
Thump...thump...thump..."Oh, God...Double D...harder"...thump...thump...thump...
Eddward "Double D" and Marie Kanker going at it Missionary Style in an abandoned public bathroom during the Apacolypse.
Ed turned beet red and back away slowly.
Thirty minutes later...
"Okay...we never talk of that again.", Double D said from the passenger seat. Marie and Ed both nodded, all three of them red as Rolf's candied beets.
POW!
Ed slammed into something, a massive shape in the road. The Camaro spun and flipped, recieving little damage but throwing the teens out. Ed slammed into the dirt, rolling around until coming to a stop at a broken telephone pole that Double D hit headfirst soon afterward, followed by Marie who had a soft landing on the two Eds.
"Owww..."
"Aughh...my head..."
"I think I hit a pipe..."
The three slowly got up, shaking their heads until their vision was clear. Looking up near the Camaro, the three noticed several large figures around it, hungrily looking at them.
Feast beasts.
"RUN AWAY!", Ed yelled, picking up the other two in his arms and running from the beasts, who were quickly catching up to them. Running into an open wasteland that used to be a small farming community, Ed noticed the Feast beasts were long behind. But he didn't care...
He just kept running. Double D and Marie eventually got off of his arms, only to have to run after him when the Feast beasts caught back up. Unfortunatley, the two were no match for the beast's speed, and they were soon caught.
Ed, however, kept running. He ran until his feet bled, and then ran some more. His shoes ran rugged, and his legs collapsed. The beasts had long since givin' up the chase, and Ed went to sleep on the dry ground.
The siren awoke Ed, and as he got up he couldn't help but notice a pang in his back.
Walking along the gray hallways of the Survivor Fortress, Ed fell in line for breakfast. The food here was always good, so nobody went hungry. Walking over to a table with his new friends, Ed stared into his plate.
His cereal had taken the shape of Eddy and Double D, his dead friends.
Ed softly began to drip tears down his cheeks, but only one per eye. Being in the Fortress, he began to train as a Soldier/Guard. For five hours each day for the next year, Ed will take pot shots at Nazi Zombies over the walls, learn the types of weapons able to kill an undead menace, learn what to do to survive Feast beasts, Super 8s, and Dog Soldiers, and how to rescue a civilian.
But Ed still missed the days when he was an idiot. Sure his family hated him to the depths of Hell, school was boring, and he was bullied, but it was worth it to see Eddy and Double D every day.
After training, Ed could do anything. The Survivor Fortress was a zombie survivalist's dream. Electricity, entertainment, good food, friends, ect. But Ed had already beaten Modern Warfare 3 twice, completed his Sniper Training, ate Lunch, hung out with his friends, and hadn't taken his shower for two days in a row, making him the cleanest he'd ever been.
Ed layed down in his bunk and drifted off to sleep, this time dreaming of when they'd gone to Eddy's brother's. Ed missed his friends, and it was all my fault.
But Ed dreamed of the task I had layed out for everyone who survived the initial assault. Defeat 1,000 of my Nazi Zombies, and I will allow you one wish. Ed knew what to wish for...
His friends back...and I will grant it for him...