"Do we have to go straight to Duncan?" Elissa asked, as they were about to leave the Quartermaster. She had tried on her armor and the Quartermaster had sent it off to have it adjusted so it would fit her. Alistair had patiently waited for her outside with Lucky.
"We have some time I suppose but we should really get going," Alistair said.
"I just…I was hoping I could ask you more about the Wardens," Elissa said. She hadn't really been thinking that she just wanted more time in between freedom and a life of duty.
"What would you like to know my lady?" Alistair asked. They walked up a ramp that Elissa hadn't yet explored. She saw a priest giving the Maker's blessing to whomever asked for it. To their left was a man in a cage staring at his guard's food. The poor man was starving. Then there was the infirmary where the groans of men came from. Elissa didn't want to go that way but couldn't stop herself from staring.
"What makes you all so special? I mean besides fighting the darkspawn?" Elissa asked looking at the men lying on cots.
"Well, we…" Alistair paused he couldn't tell her much. She'd learn when…no if she survived her joining. Dear Maker, he looked at her and thought. In a few hours she could be dead. He shouldn't be getting to know her or talking to her. But at the same time it was nice to have someone to talk to.
"We?" Elissa asked raising her eyebrow and wondering if he was struggling to find words.
"We're warriors without equal. Darkspawn threatened to destroy the world four times over. Each time it was the Grey Wardens who led mankind to victory. Nobody knows more about darkspawn, and nobody is better equipped to deal with them," Alistair said no looking at Elissa. "You'll see, trust me."
"Trust you? I just met you." Elissa laughed. Alistair had sounded as if he was reciting out of a book.
"It's just, there's a lot you can't know until after the Joining," Alistair said.
"I see, and I bet you can't tell me about the Joining," Elissa sighed.
"You'd win that bet," Alistair sighed and turned towards her. "Maybe after Duncan talks to all of the recruits about it, you can ask me more. But right now I'm sworn to secrecy."
Elissa nodded, but she knew he wanted to tell her. She wouldn't push him though best not to anger a future comrade.
"I saw a darkspawn in the camp," Elissa said. "He was dead but it was still monstrous. I don't know what Duncan sees in me because I don't think I can face that."
Alistair frowned, "I'm sure you can."
"I scream at the sight of rats Alistair," Elissa looked away ashamed at her weakness. "I never…I've never been in a battle."
"Never?" Alistair wondered why Duncan had recruited her.
"Never," Elissa felt like she was lying now. "I take it back, I had to fight my way out of Highever."
"What happened there?" Alistair asked.
"Arl Rendon Howe attacked the Couslands. Killing all of them," Elissa lied. What she couldn't bring herself to say was she was one of the two remaining Couslands. Her family bloodline went back for ages and it might die with her if Fergus didn't come back safely.
"Why would he do such a thing?" Alistair asked.
"Who knows, greed? Power? He waited until Fergus Cousland had left to go south with the men. Then he attacked," Elissa said. She found it amazing she could talk about it with no emotion. She felt detached when she thought of them as other people she didn't know.
"So you fought your way out with Duncan?" Alistair asked.
"Yes, Howe was killing everyone," Elissa nodded.
"Dear Maker, I'm glad you two survived," Alistair said. "The King knows then?"
Elissa nodded, "We informed him upon arrival."
"Well that's good," Alistair looked away.
Elissa walked over to the prisoner. She wanted a change of subject or a distraction and this would be it.
"You haven't come to sentence me have you?" the soldier asked weakly. He looked at her with amusement.
"No, I haven't," Elissa said.
Alistair came up behind her. "What are you doing?" he whispered.
She ignored him.
"I don't suppose you have a bit of kindness in you? I haven't had food and water in days," the prisoner smiled weakly.
"I'll see if I can get some," Elissa said. She doubted that the servants in the mess tent would allow her to bring him some.
"Ask my guard for his," the prisoner motioned towards the guard who was nodding off to sleep.
"I'll be back," Elissa walked over to the guard. He darted straight up and stood tall when he had heard her.
"Oh good evening," he said nervously. "You Grey Warden's have it easy you know. Riding with the King. I'm stuck here guarding this prisoner all day."
"I had a talk with him actually," Elissa said sweetly.
"Oh, and I don't suppose he said much?" the guard laughed.
"He asked for food and water," Elissa found it hard to not be angry.
"Well how am I supposed to give him that they don't send any for him," the guard crossed his arms.
"I notice you have some dinner left, suppose I buy it from you to give it to him? How does ten silvers sound?"
The guard thought about the offer and nodded, "All right, but if they ask why he's burping I'm pointing the finger at you."
"I'll take full blame for it," Elissa nodded. The guard handed over the food and she took it to the prisoner.
"You are a kind soul you are! May Andraste herself shine blessings upon your soul!" the prisoner beamed and took the food from her.
Elissa smiled and walked away. Alistair caught up to her. "That was kind of you," he said.
"No one should starve even those who will likely be put to death," Elissa sighed. It was a cruel punishment, she thought.
"Not many think the way you do," Alistair said knowing that even the Grey Warden's looked down on deserting, which the man had been imprisoned for. Yet Elissa never asked why the man was there. She didn't pass judgment she found out he needed something and saw he got it.
"Where are all the other Grey Wardens?" Elissa asked.
"In the valley camped with the King's men. Cailan has given us a position at the vanguard," Alistair explained.
Elissa stopped and looked at Alistair. "I'm sorry you're on babysitting duty. I know you'd probably rather be with the others."
"I…I don't mind it so much," Alistair was taken back. "Truth is Duncan has kept me out of the battles so I don't spend much time down there at all."
"He's kept you out of the fighting?" Elissa asked. "Why?"
"Um, not sure really," Alistair looked around and spotted the other recruit, Jory by the priest. "Oh look it's Jory."
Alistair walked straight for him and Elissa watched him go. He was hiding something. But then again so was she. Everyone had secrets. She followed Alistair.
"Elissa this is Ser Jory. Ser Jory this is Elissa," Alistair made the introductions. He was glad Jory had been there for a distraction.
"Hello," Jory smiled. "I wasn't aware that the Wardens permitted women to be Grey Wardens."
Elissa didn't know how to take it. First Alistair made his wanting more women in the Wardens, and then Daveth said he hadn't been expecting a woman. Now Jory tells her he didn't think they allowed women in. She knew she'd have a lot to prove but this wasn't something she wanted to deal with.
"I can handle myself," Elissa said crossing her arms. She felt the stress between her shoulders.
"Elissa comes from Highever," Alistair interrupted before the tension grew. "Did you two ever run into each other?"
"No," Elissa blurted out probably faster than was needed but she didn't want to give Jory the chance to study her and find out he did know who she was.
"My Helena is still up there did you know her?" Jory asked. "She grew up there, I on the other hand come from Redcliffe."
Elissa tried to remember the village women. All of them were a blur to her at the moment. She knew if she remembered half of the ones who were dear to her like Bess, John the Baker's wife she'd be in tears. "I'm sorry I don't recall a Helena."
Even if she did know her, Elissa's guilt lay heavily on her mind. She felt like she failed her people. They were now in the hands of that bastard Howe.
"It was a sprawling city," Jory smiled. "So now that I know Duncan has arrived I will find him for I have some questions for the man. It was nice meeting you Elissa, I hope we are both lucky enough to join the Wardens."
Elissa watched him go then turned towards the priest. "Would you like the Maker's blessing?" The priest asked with a smile.
Elissa nodded the last time she received his blessing felt like a lifetime ago. "Yes, please."
"Then I bless you my lady, in the name of Andraste and the Maker above. May the Chant of Light carry your name to the ears of our Lord," the woman hovered her hand above Elissa's downcast face.
Alistair had bent his head and said a prayer to the Maker asking Elissa be spared the death that could await her when the joining came. They stepped away and started walking towards another ramp when a man in the infirmary lunged for Elissa and grabbed her arm.
Lucky didn't pounce but he growled and Alistair grabbed Elissa. "Hey!" Elissa shouted. She looked down at the man and saw the fear in his eyes.
She stopped struggling when she realized the man was scared and just latched onto her. "You! You need to convince them. We have to run," the scared soldier whispered to Elissa. "The darkspawn are coming!"
"Why do you say that?" Elissa asked wincing as the man squeezed her arm tighter.
Alistair tried to pry him off of her but Elissa looked up at him and shook her head. The man wouldn't harm her he was just frightened.
"I've seen them, they are everywhere. We're going to die!" the man moaned.
"The Grey Warden's are here," Elissa started to say.
"The Grey Warden's will die, the King will die, we'll all die," he shook his head. "We'll all die."
"That's enough," a nurse with brown hair who looked exhausted came up. "I apologize my lady. He's been like this ever since we found him in the Wilds."
"Does he have important information?" Elissa asked.
"The commander who brought him here didn't seem to think so," the nurse shook her head sadly and looked down at the man. "Calm yourself good man. You're safe."
"You…you can feel it can't you?" the scared man continued. "They taint the land, turn it black and sick! You can feel it inside. They'll come out of that forest and spread! Like caterpillars covering a tree, they'll swallow us whole!" He gripped Elissa's arm tighter.
She let out a whimper and wanted to get away from the man. He was scaring her. Alistair sensed it and pulled her away while the nurse was left calming the frightened soldier.
"Are you all right?" Alistair asked leading Elissa to a tree far from the tents.
"Was he right?" Elissa looked up at Alistair studying his face. "Are we going to die?"
Alistair studied her and noticed her fear. She shouldn't be there but he wasn't one to question Duncan. "We're going to stop them Lis," Alistair whispered shortening her name. He smiled what he felt was a reassuring smile.
"How do you know that?" Elissa asked. "I saw the dead…genlock the man called it. Its pointed ears, its dark hollowed eyes. I'll never get that out of my head. Where did it come from, what is it?"
Alistair sighed, "Lis are you sure you want to do this now. The man was frightened."
"Well so am I," Elissa whispered. "Why does everyone make me feel like I shouldn't be scared?"
"Fear is natural Lis, especially where the darkspawn is concerned. The truth is we don't know where the darkspawn come from. They come out of the ground that's about all we know," Alistair sighed taking off his gauntlets and running a hand through his hair. "Can you keep a secret?"
"Yes," Elissa nodded.
"There's a lot I don't know about the Order. You don't learn much right when you join. It's like a secret society you earn the information with the time you spend in the Order. What I know is what I've read in books in the Warden compound in Denerim," Alistair sighed. "When I first fought a darkspawn I was not prepared for how monstrous it was."
Elissa studied Alistair. He shook his head at the memory, "Well that's comforting."
Alistair lips curved in a small smile, "I'll watch your back out there."
"Actually you fight with a shield, I'll be the one watching your back," Elissa smiled.
"Well good I am now relying on you to protect me, how…manly," Alistair laughed.
Elissa joined the laughter and felt a little better. Alistair smiled at the fact he had taken her mind off of her fear. It wouldn't last he knew but at least for now the storm had passed.
"Time to get to Duncan. I think we've put it off long enough," Alistair looked up at the sky it was closing in on evening.
Elissa sighed and lost her smile, "Lead the way."