Chapter 15.

The first thing James noticed about the barracks was the colour inside. No longer yellow.

"Blue," he said, turning to look at Juliet, frowning, "what happened to yellow?"

He didn't like it. He didn't like change. He liked his comfort zone and this, this whole night, being back in the present was way out there. What did he now cling to? Of course there was Juliet and Mary but what else? He needed something else, a sense of purpose and what and where would he find his sense of purpose once back in the real world? He wouldn't even be able to get a damn job.

"I like it," Juliet returned.

Of course she would.

He wearily sat down on the edge of bed and kicked his boots off. Mary was fast asleep in the other room. It was already past midnight. He felt exhausted but the headache had lessened.

"Head will be fine in a day or two," Hugo had told him, "this island heals injuries four times quicker than on the mainland."

The up side to being here and a good reason to stay he told himself. But where Juliet went he went and she deserved, more than anyone, to go home, her heart's desire. He didn't want to rain on her parade and pout and sulk, tried hard to be upbeat about it all. But she knew him far too well and was now giving him that quizzical look as if assessing him, trying to get into his head.

"Funny how everything can change in just one day," she spoke, raising an eyebrow.

God she looked sexy in his t-shirt and boxer shorts, even at six months pregnant.

"Yep changes, love that," he muttered gruffer than he'd intended, trust his damn head to start appreciating her appearance.

Smiling she placed her hands on either side of his face. She bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Poor head," she murmured, her hair tickling his nose.

Taking the opportunity to get closer to her he pulled her down on to his lap, pushed her hair back from her face with his hand, his eyes resting on her lips. He'd never grow tired of this woman. She was his everything after all.

"I could break your legs," she quipped lightly, though he saw the vulnerability in the depths of her eyes.

"I doubt it Blondie," he murmured, nuzzling her neck, "besides I'm tough."

She laughed lightly.

"You don't have to put on that act with me," she spoke, tweaking nose, "I know you, remember."

He grinned.

"All too well girl," he replied, the tenderness swamping him, "the only person who ever has."

She lowered her lips to his.

"Well love is powerful thing, when used right," she murmured.

He wrapped his arms around her. They fell back on to the bed, arms and legs entangled. He gazed into her beautiful eyes.

"We might as well christen the new bed, the new blue colour and the new future."

"You don't have a headache?"

"Screw the headache," he growled.

Afterwards she lay in his arms and he didn't want to let go, not ever. Not her. She meant far too much to him now. Time and trust healed a multitude of hurts.

She turned her gaze to his. "When we get back James you should find Clementine," she whispered, in that half sleepy voice that he loved, "should fix things up, never too late."

"Sure Blondie," he murmured back, kissing her hair line.

But he didn't agree. No need to go there yet, right? He didn't want to think about it and buried his face in the pillow. Him and his damn lousy past life that was better left forgotten.

James continued to push Mary on the swing. Much better playground in the future, Hugo must have upgraded that, though he couldn't figure out why. No other kids around that he could see off. He spied Hugo walking along the path. Hugo waved, he waved back.

"Sleep well?" Hugo called out.

"Like a log," he returned, surprisingly till he woke up at six and couldn't get back to sleep, a hundred million questions rambling through his brain.

What was he going to do when they went back? He's supposed to be dead, better it remain so. What would he do for a job? How would Rachel react to him? Wouldn't there be a lot of questions as to why Juliet had disappeared for ten years?

How did they explain it all?

What if they had solved Frank Duckett's murder? What if they had linked it back to him?

What about Clementine? Damn she must be nearly grown up now, a teenager? His eyes rested on Mary and he felt something overpowering flood through him, that protective instinct, so strong, would he feel it when he saw Clementine? He'd never even seen her, but one photo Cassidy had showed him in prison. Felt ashamed now about the way he'd carried on she ain't mine.

Did he track Cassidy down and ask to see the girl but wouldn't that then lead to more complications?

"Seems just the other day I watched you push your daughter on a swing, not 30 years ago, hard to believe."

James spun around and came face to face with Linus. His eyes narrowed. What did Linus want?

"Damn weird thing time travelling," James muttered in reply. "Did the purge still happen?"

Again that sick feeling in his stomach. He felt bad for Horace, the guy didn't deserve to have that happen to him.

"Yes," Linus murmured.

Did he look sad about that or was James just imagining things now?

"And you did it."

Ben Linus nodded, met James' accusing eyes.

"We all have things were not proud of James, you would know that."

Uncanny bastard had a way with words.

"Of course," he said under his breath, with sarcasm, though that was about where the similarities ended. He was nothing like Linus and hoped he would leave.

"You know I used to envy you with Juliet," Ben continued.

Didn't look like he'd be leaving anytime soon James inwardly muttered.

"Oh really," he sighed. The guy was obviously here to get inside his head or something, stir him up, yeah that was the way Linus operated.

"I could never get what she saw in you."

Just as he thought, James mused dryly.

"What do you want Linus?" he retorted, he wasn't in the mood for head games.

"Just making small talk," Linus shrugged.

Small talk with him, really and why?

"Juliet must be desperate to get home?" Linus continued.

James eyes narrowed. "Of course she would, who could blame her, you brought her here, kept her like a damn prisoner ..."

"And just think if I hadn't you never would have met her, never found yourself, never had your little girl," Linus pointed out, eyes falling on Mary.

Bastard had a point, not that he liked hearing it.

"And what about you James, what do you want to do?"

James shook his head and snorted, "don't matter what I want."

Silence fell and James hoped Ben would get the hint and leave.

"Push dada," Mary cried.

James gave her a push and she squealed with delight and why the hell was Linus still there?

"You don't want to go home?" Linus spoke at length.

James kept his gaze fixed on Mary.

"Not like a have a lot to go back to," he muttered.

"Except maybe a prison sentence," Ben added.

James turned slowly to look at him.

"You know something about that?"

Ben gave a small smile. "It's a closed case now."

James frowned, his heart skipped a beat. "What'd you mean?"

"They did link the murder to you James, but you're supposed to be dead," Linus stated, "so it's a closed case of course."

James froze, trying his best to look casual and unconcerned but his heart, however, was pounding a mile a minute.

"So ya saying I can't go back?"

"Not as you."

James stood there speechless. Mary started whining about being pushed.

Ben rolled his eyes. "For the head of security James LaFleur you really can be slow on the up take."

James scowled at him.

"Well how about you just be direct for a damn change!"

He ran stiff fingers through his hair.

Linus nodded, "A different identity James."

Why hadn't he thought of that yet? Well because his head was filled with too many other damn things.

"You're looking at the master expert at it, that's why I'm here, Hugo sent me."

James blinked.

"So I just take on a whole new identity and you can do that for me?"

Ben sighed. "Take Mary back to Juliet and come by my house to discuss it."

And with that Ben walked away. James watched him go, dumbfounded. Of course, it was that simple wasn't it? And it was as he feared. They had linked Frank Duckett's murder to him. He could never go back as James Ford and it would mean he'd spend the rest of his life lying. Least Mary would never learn the truth about him.

Picking her up from the swing, amidst protests and whining, he hurried back to the house. Juliet wasn't there. He found her in the mess hall chatting with Rose.

"Morning ladies," he greeted, Mary wriggling in his arms to get free.

He put her down. Juliet took one look at his face and asked "what's up?"

Was he that damn readable?

"Can I talk to ya for a sec?"

"Sure."

She got up from the chair and they went outside, he took her by the arm and looked into face.

"I've been talking to Ben Linus," he began.

Amusement flashed in her eyes. "That must have been a scintillating conversation for you."

"He told me that they did link Frank Duckett's murder to me."

Shock registered on her face and then annoyance. "That would be Ben's trick, a way to keep us here, to keep me ..."

"He suggested I take on a new identity," he interrupted.

She shut her mouth, eyes met his. "Well that shouldn't be hard seeing as you've been parading as James LaFleur for the last six years."

"True." He agreed. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay with it, means we'll have to lie."

Juliet laughed. "And what's new about that."

A slow smiled crossed his face and he shook his head, his eyes fixed on hers.

"Any name preferences then?"

"Well just as long as you keep the name James, the surname is up to you."

He studied her face for a moment, tried to get an inkling of what she was really thinking. She just gazed back at him in that calm way of hers. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Alright Blondie, I'll see ya in a little while, gotta go see Linus now."

A giggle escaped from Juliet's mouth. He turned to look at her, a frown denting his forehead.

"What?"

"I don't know, it just seems weird, you meeting Ben," she began, "weird but in a good way, I think."

"Yeah and I'm really looking forward to it," he muttered dryly.

He went to leave.

"James," she began quickly, grabbing him by the hand.

He turned to look at her.

A slight frown furrowed her forehead. "You're not going to like change your appearance or anything, you know dye your hair red or something ridiculous like that?"

"You think red hair would suit me?" he asked innocently, a slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I guess I could consider a nose job while I'm at it, should do it on the island, seeing everything heals so much faster."

She punched him hard in the shoulder. "Don't you dare!"

He hid a grin, rubbed his arm. "God you're a violent woman," he muttered.

She stood there, arms folded, looking somewhat cross and she should know he's teasing her now. He laughed and pulled her into her arms, kissed the top of her head.

"Course I'm not changing anything," he murmured in her hair.

Her arms slid around his waist. "But people may recognise you," she said, sounding anxious.

He gazed down into her face.

"Well I'm getting older, hair will be grey soon enough, already starting," he grumbled, pointing to his temples, "ya see that."

"And you could wear glasses all the time like Harry Potter does."

"Harry who?" he frowned.

"Hugo has the whole collection on DVD. He was playing the first one for me in the rec room this morning, I remember watching it just before I came to the island," she explained.

"Oh that Harry," he recalled, "never watched the films, but I don't need to wear glasses all the time."

"They don't have to be prescription," she stated, rolling her eyes, "you know some people just wear them as a fashion statement or to look sophisticated or intelligent."

"Intelligent huh," James mused, pondering the thought, "you think I can look intelligent Blondie?"

She bit down on her lip and he could see she was trying to suppress a smile.

"Forget it," he muttered, "I'm out of here, off for my meeting with Linus, that should be fun," he continued, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Can't wait to see what head games bug eyes got in store for me."

"You'll be fine," Juliet smiled.

"Alright for you," he murmured and started walking away. "Harry Potter glasses," he scoffed, giving her a quick glance over his shoulder as he walked, shaking his head, "yeah right."

Ben Linus had more ID cards than you could poke a stick at.

"Why you have all of these?" James asked shuffling through them.

"They are from previous days, other days," Linus replied, peering at him over the rim of his glasses, "you remember those days James."

"Sure do," he returned, "never forgot those cage days, hauling rocks, having your thug Pickett beat me up, pretend pace makers put in my heart to blow it up, fun times," he continued with sarcasm.

"It was our way to break you down," Ben admitted.

James frowned, still didn't know what to make of the man. Hard to bring himself to trust him but Hugo obviously did.

"Sit down James before you wear a hole in the floor," Linus continued.

"It's concrete, can't see that happening," he remarked and sat down on an adjacent chair, his eyes taking in the sealed dingy basement.

"Yeah you guys sure liked all that cloak and dagger stuff and screwing with people's minds," he muttered.

Ben looked up from the file he was examining, expression unreadable, as usual.

"You still want to keep the name James?"

"Easy to remember and it's a common name."

"What about the surname?"

"Not sure yet?"

"Why don't you keep the name LaFleur."

"Won't that be a problem?"

"I don't see how."

James pondered the thought for a moment, he'd grown attached to that name, had lived that identity for the last six years, might as well keep it, would make it easier.

"Sure."

"And what about an occupation?"

James was stumped for a moment. Occupation, what did he do? He had no qualifications, no real ones, sure he was head of security for a few years and had learnt a fair bit in that time but what in the hell would he do in the real world?

"You must have given some thought as a boy to what sort of job you might like to do?" Linus urged.

Well, he did, once, long ago. He met Linus' questioning gaze.

"I did think about being a cop," he admitted, waited for Linus to laugh at him, but Linus wasn't the laughing type. He did, however, notice a smile hover at the corners of his mouth.

"Yeah well laugh it up."

"Actually it doesn't really surprise me," Linus returned, "so why didn't you become a cop?"

James frowned. "I thought I was here to get an identity not talk about my damn past, I don't know why the hell I didn't, it just never happened, guess the police academy ain't gonna be letting some delinquent kid sign up."

"You need to finish high school too," Ben added.

James clenched his jaw. Trust fucking Linus to find some way to stitch him up. So he was some high school dropout, a bum, a trouble-maker, but that was his past and his future was still wide open to him. He wasn't that same person anymore.

"You want to be a police officer?" Linus asked, raising an eyebrow, "I can set that up."

James didn't know how to respond. Is that what he really wanted to do when he returned? Least it was respectable, something he could do, would be okay at.

"I don't know how Juliet would feel about it?" Linus spoke, "maybe you should run it by her first?"

He didn't damn well need advice from Linus on what he did and didn't discuss with Juliet!

"She'll be fine with it," he returned.

"You what!" Juliet asked, disbelief crossing her face.

They were all sitting in the rec room, where he had found her with Mary, Miles, Jin, Rose, Bernard and Hugo, watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Except for him and her that was.

"You want to be a cop!"

She didn't have to look so put out about it.

"Hell it's a job," he returned.

Miles was laughing on the couch and James frowned at him.

"What else am I gonna do?"

"It's dangerous."

"What and being head of security wasn't?"

She stood hands on hips, looking slightly pissed off. "No, it's not the same, nothing much ever happened there but in the real world James, well that's different, hostiles in the guise of drug pushers, and murderers and god knows what else roaming the streets at free will."

"You don't think I'm capable?"

She blinked, looked at Miles. "Would you stop laughing!" she snapped.

Miles went still immediately. How could she shut him up so effectively? It would never work for him.

She returned her eyes to his. "Of course I know you're capable but ..." pausing she pushed her hair behind her ears, suddenly aware of every eye in that room watching them. James looking not happy and she took a deep breath. Why a cop? How had he come up with that? It had to be Ben Linus' doing, naturally.

"We are going to need a regular income," he pointed out.

She straightened up, gave a direct pouty look almost. "I'll earn three times more."

He snorted, "since when is this a damn competition?"

"Besides you won't be able to work for a while," he continued, "in case ya haven't noticed Blondie but you are knocked up," he drawled.

She could hit him, didn't even know why she was so annoyed about him wanting to be a cop, really, it shouldn't surprise her but surely he could have picked something better than that, something less dangerous, something that would keep him safe, with her and the children?

"And it's the modern age now James," she spoke, smiled sweetly at him, "lot's of fathers are choosing to be stay at home dads."

She knew he wouldn't like that, he was old fashioned in a lot of ways, the man should earn the wage, or so she assumed, truth is they had never lived, together in that real world to ever know?

He looked pissed off now, the line across the bridge of his nose prominent as it was when he was angry.

"Fine then Juliet," he growled, raking a hand through his hair, "have it your way."

He turned around, "I'm getting a damn beer," he muttered over his shoulder and stomped out of the rec room.

Juliet watched him go, biting down on her lip. That, that didn't go well at all and shouldn't he have discussed this with her first, in the privacy of their house?

"Someone's pissed," Miles remarked.

Juliet glared at him. He put his hands up in self defence. "Hey not my doing."

Great now she had created a scene for everyone to witness, bloody pregnancy hormones.

"Never mind Juliet, he'll come around," Rose spoke in sympathy, "Bernard," she continued looking at him, "get Juliet a cup of tea please."

"Sure," Bernard agreed, and left the rec room.

Juliet suddenly wished for something stronger. Alright for James, he could go have a beer, he wasn't six months pregnant. He could eat and drink what he liked! He didn't have to worry about Listeria, or getting gestational diabetes or some such shit, a list a mile long of all the things she should or shouldn't do, should or shouldn't eat and drink.

She plonked herself down on the couch next to Rose, Rose put a comforting arm around her and Juliet welcomed it. Harry Potter was momentarily paused. Hugo shuffled uncomfortably.

"Let me talk to him," he offered.

"Best to let him stew it over for a while first," she suggested, knowing him all to well.

James was sitting on the front porch, drinking his third beer when Miles rocked up. Luckily his dark mood had lightened somewhat.

"First day in the new barracks in the new 'other town' and you guys have had an argument already," he remarked.

"Yeah well I didn't think she'd have a hissy fit about me being a cop," he returned.

"Why would you want to be a cop?" Miles asked disappearing into the house and returning with a beer. "She has a point about it being dangerous."

He sat down next him, flipped the tab on the can and took a long swig.

"I don't know," James shrugged, "just thought it would be something I could do."

Miles went quiet a thoughtful look on his face.

"I could work for the police department," he spoke at length, "you know they use physics to solve cases and I can talk to dead bodies."

"Don't you need some sort of qualification for that?"

"I'm sure Hugo could come up with something, if you can get a new identity why not get me a certificate as a psychic detective."

James just snorted at that. Miles crossed one leg over the other.

"I kind of like that thought."

James frowned at him, took a swig of his beer.

"We could be partners," Miles continued with a grin, "just like old times."

"Yeah well don't get to carried away looks like Juliet is dead set against me being a cop ..."

"She'll get over it," Miles butted in, "you know her, she stews over things then starts to feel all bad and then she'll be all sorry and wanting to make it up to you."

James glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. "You seem to have her figured out."

"Plenty of practice observing you too, never a dull moment," he smirked.

They sat there in silence for a moment, contemplating possible future lives back in the real world.

"Juliet alright?" James asked at length.

"Rose and Bernard are looking after her, she'll soon be smothered by too much kindness and will come looking for you," Miles replied.

Miles really did have them figured out too damn well. And as if on cue he spied her walking slowly along the path, Mary asleep in her arms. She shouldn't be carrying her at this stage of her pregnancy. He jumped up from the chair, putting his beer on the floor and trotted up to her.

"I'll take her," he offered.

He glanced quickly at her face, trying to gauge where she was at emotionally. Was she still cross with him?

She didn't look angry, if anything a bit sad. That then made him feel bad about getting in an argument with her earlier. Hell it was just a stupid job.

"Sorry if I upset ya."

She shook her head. "It's okay."

His hands brushed against her arms as he took the sleeping Mary from her.

"I'll put her to bed."

They walked slowly on to the front porch, Juliet opened the door for him, a tentative smile crossing her face. "Look if you really want to be a cop," she began.

James glanced at Miles knowing face. Yeah he really did have them figured out.

"I'm just going to catch the rest of Harry Potter?" he said out loud, getting to his feet.

"It's finished," Juliet supplied.

"It's a DVD, can watch it anytime."

"I think there playing darts now," Juliet said.

"Even better, see you guys later."

And with a wink he waltzed off.

James and Juliet exchanged a smile. "That was easy," she quipped, "he's not normally that easy to get rid of."

Juliet watched James gently put Mary in her bed, pulling the covers over her, lightly stroking her hair. She was leaning against the door.

"You know you make a good dad," she spoke.

He straightened up, smiled. "Last thing I thought I'd be any good at," he admitted.

Feeling tender towards him in that moment she took the few steps towards him, wove her arms around his waist, least he had one, had forgotten what that felt like lately.

"You're not still mad with me?"

She nestled her head into his neck, her fingers entwining themselves in his hair.

"If you really want to be a cop," she murmured.

"I don't know what I want," he sighed, pulling her closer.

But she pulled back to look at him, see his eyes, see what he was thinking. He had a tendency to hide his face in her mane of hair when avoiding her gaze, knowing she was good at seeing his thoughts all too clearly. He sighed, gave her a patient look.

"When Linus asked what occupation I wanted to be," he began, "that was what came to mind."

"But it just seems kind of odd when you were," nibbled on her bottom lip, "you know a law breaker."

"I know," he murmured, a bleak look crossing his face. "Guess I just wanted to do something that people respected, that way our kids could respect me."

She saw the brief vulnerability in his eyes, held him tighter.

"Of course they'll respect you and adore you," she whispered fiercely.

He pushed a hand through her hair to the nape of her neck, his breath warm against her cheek.

"I love you girl, I don't have to be any damn cop."

She pulled back, gazed up into his face.

"I think you should do what makes you happy, and it's sort of fitting in a way, seeing as you've been head of security at dharma all those years."

His eyes softened, he brushed a finger across her cheek.

"Funny but when I was a boy I often thought it would be cool to be a cop, always found those badges kind of fun, I'd have pretend ones and they used to make me feel important, like I was a somebody, used to watch all those cops and robber TV shows too."

Juliet smiled, having visions of him as a boy, glued to the television screen, watching police shows. It wasn't often he talked about his childhood. But she liked it when he did, it meant that maybe he was coming to terms with it? He caught hold of her wrist, let his thumb rub against the sensitive skin below the palm of her hand and she gazed into those beautiful warm eyes of his. If things had turned out differently for him she could well imagine that is what he would have been, a police officer. It would have suited him.

She touched his chest with her fingers. "You would have been a really great cop," she murmured.

Clasping her hand in his, he drew it to his mouth and brushed a kiss to her wrist.

"Thanks for believing in me."

Miles found Jin and Hugo in the rec room playing darts as Juliet said. Ben Linus was sitting in a chair reading. Rose and Bernard were playing a game of chess.

Everyone looked at him when he walked in.

"Hey dude everything alright with those two?"

"Those two always sort it out," he replied, "they are pathetically and disgustingly in love, enough to make you puke sometimes."

Rose smiled. "I can see that and who would have thought that our Sawyer would find love."

Bernard squeezed her hand. "Keep that thought Rose and try not to annihilate me at chess."

"Sorry Bernard but that doesn't apply to board games."

He groaned. "I don't know why I bother playing this game with you."

"You wanna join us dude?" Hugo offered.

"Sure just got to chat with Ben Linus first."

Miles approached him. Ben peered up at him.

"I need a favour," Miles said straight up.

Ben raised an eyebrow.

"I don't suppose you can get me a job as a psychic detective?"

A flicker of surprise crossed Ben's face, he lowered his book, removed his glasses.

"I could but it is going to cost you 3.2 million dollars."

Miles jaw dropped.

Ben Linus smirked. "Had you there."

Oh so the jerk had a sense of humour too, Miles mused dryly.

"Ha, ha," he returned.

"Why would you want to be a psychic detective?" Linus enquired.

Miles looked down at his feet.

"Maybe use my ability for good for a change."

"That would be a change," Linus remarked.

"So can you do it?"

"I'll see what I can do."

It was something. Miles grinned. Maybe he could pick up more chicks with that credibility behind him. And he needed all the help he could get but the thought of that real world made him feel oddly lonely. He'd been living in such a tight knit community for the last six years and who would he have when he went back? Maybe he'd just have to hang around Jim and Juliet, they were like family, the only family he had. Yep he was going to stick with them like glue. It'd be alright.

A/N: Hope it reads okay? I would have liked longer to edit but a houseful of kids day in, day out and the many interruptions involved doesn't always make it so easy. Plus the writing flow wasn't happening as much as I would have liked, sort of been that way lately.

I would really appreciate feedback on what to do with James? Should he or should he not be a cop? I sort of thought it fitting but I am open to suggestions of other occupations.

Let me know what you think? It is up there for open tender! Would love some feedback on it.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for the patience with this story. Sorry about the long wait between chapters.