Hello all! About this chapter- it is really fackin' long. Like 10,000 words long. Which, I know some of you like. But, unfortunately, only about a tenth of it is present day. I know, I know. Many of you want more of the now. Stick with me, it's coming. And as a reward for your kindness and your patience, I will post chapter 16 later tonight.
Thanks for reading!
December 23, 2010
BPOV
I tap my fingers against my wine glass as I glare at Edward talking animatedly with his stunning companion across the kitchen. Occasionally, he returns my gaze. I don't even bother pretending to pay attention to this Collin person's attempts to flirt with me. It's a little pathetic, how men tend to throw themselves at me. It's the whole unattainable, tough girl mysterious vibe I've got going on.
Edward saw through that whole act real quick. But that was a long time ago, and now he's fucking ignoring me to talk to the hottie.
I must know exactly who this bitch is.
The more I seem to lose interest in the man talking my ear off, the harder he tries to hold my attention. He runs a thumb over my cheek, and I've finally had enough. I see Alice talking to Kate in the dining room and make a beeline for them without even explaining to dear Collin.
"Who the fuck is that?" I demand without preamble. Both Alice and Kate are forced to stop mid conversation to deal with my freak out. Alice looks worried, and Kate sighs heavily. But I don't give a fuck if I'm being rude.
"I see you're back, Bella," Kate says. "Oh, how I've missed you."
I give her a sarcastic smile before focusing on Alice again. "Well? Who the fuck is she?"
"Who is who?" Alice asks, faking innocence.
"You know who the fuck," I whisper-yell, clenching one hand at my side and gesturing wildly with my wine in the direction of Edward and his date.
Kate glances in the direction I'm pointing. "Oh, you mean Tia?" Kate smiles at fucking Tia and waves. Waves! Kate knows this Tia. Ergo, Tia is around a lot. Are they dating? Hell no. Edward would have never slept with me if he was seeing someone else. Does he want to date her? Have they fucked? I can tell by the way she looks at him that she wants to. Or that she has. She is totally into him. I want to punch her. Real bad.
"Isabella Swan," Alice says in a low voice, grabbing my elbow rougher than necessary. "You are not allowed, under any circumstances, to punch Tia. I do not care how drunk you get or how often Tia touches Edward's arm. There will be no punching of Tia. Am I making myself clear?"
I yank my arm out of Alice's grip. "What makes you think I would do something so morally reprehensible at your classy adult party?" Alice rolls her eyes at my sarcasm, and Kate chuckles before taking a sip of her fruity-lookin' drink.
"Wow, you really haven't changed at all," Kate comments.
"Bite me, vanilla," I say, literally snapping my teeth at her.
Kate laughs again. "Is it weird that I think I kinda actually missed you?"
"If I wasn't in crisis mode, I would be oddly touched," I reply.
"Bella, this freaking out, hyper jealous thing is really not attractive," says Alice.
"I'm not jealous," I declare defensively. It's a habit, this show no=weakness thing, and I'm trying to be better. Alice and Kate both stare at me with skepticism. "Okay, fine. I am green with jealousy. Now can someone please fill me in?"
Kate and Alice exchange an amused look.
"That's Tia," says Alice.
"You know, Tia," explains Kate.
And now I want to punch them.
"Can you cocksuckers please stop torturing me? Who is she? How do they know each other? Why did they come together?" I ask in a rush.
"Okay, okay," Alice says, chuckling at me again. "Tia is Edward's friend from school. They're lab partners or study buddies or whatever."
"Is that all? They look awfully fucking chummy for fucking lab partners," I grumble.
"Well…honestly? I think Tia wants more," Alice confesses.
"You think?" Again with the sarcasm.
"Okay, I know. She hasn't told me that she's into him, per se, but she has asked me a lot of questions about big twin that pretty much reveals her undying love," says Alice.
"Like what?"
"Just about Edward's romantic past, and if he said anything about her. You know, what girls in love ask."
I want to get wasted, but my stomach hurts too much to even think about putting anything else in it.
"Well, what about Edward? Is he into her?"
"No," Alice says with a snort. "He's ridiculously hung up on his ex."
"So you say," I mumble, realizing that I haven't even thought about the possibility of Edward being with anyone else. As bitchy and self-absorbed as it sounds, I just sort of assumed that he's waited for me. I can't picture him with anyone else. I didn't think he would get with anyone else. But that was probably all wishful thinking.
Edward is a motherfucking catch. Gorgeous, smart, funny. There is absolutely no reason for him not to enjoy his youth. For all I know, he could have become the champion of one-night stands. He could have slept with a thousand bimbos while I was gone.
I seriously might pass out.
"Alice?" I ask with trepidation. "Has Edward seen anyone in the last couple years?"
"Not really," she replies with a sigh. "I really think you should talk to the twin about this, but no. He hasn't dated anyone since you left. That I know of."
"Good," I say, sighing with relief. That doesn't mean that he hasn't slept with anyone.
"So am I right in assuming that you want to get back together with Edward?" Kate asks. She has gotten braver in the last two years. Really grown into herself. She looks good, but I would never tell her that.
"Of course," I say. "He's Edward."
"So why did you leave?" she asks.
I just shrug my shoulders and glare at her.
"Where were you?" she continues.
"Yeah, I've been wondering the same," Alice agrees, looking thoughtful. "For the whole first year you were gone, you sent me all those postcards from all those places you were. I liked the world's largest groundhog."
I chuckle, remembering that particularly ridiculous pit stop on The Bella Trip of Self Discovery.
"That's because I stopped going places," I explained. "Settled down."
"Where?" asks Alice.
"Well, I got sick of the whole nomad thing, so I actually went to uh… Forks," I explain, feeling awkward for no apparent reason.
"You've been in Forks for the last year?" Alice shrieks. "How could I possibly not know this?"
"It took about two hours of pleading with your mom before she agreed to not tell you guys. Plus, I had to promise to get my ass back to Boulder as quickly as possible. But you know how much they travel. Esme didn't know I was there until October," I explain, my words flowing from my mouth rapidly.
"You saw my parents in October? But they were here for Thanksgiving. How can this be?"
I just shrug again, not knowing what to say.
"You want to talk to Edward first," Alice continues when I remain silent.
"Yeah," I reply with a sigh. "But he is being all butt-headed about it. He won't listen. How do I get him to listen?"
"I dunno," she says with a shrug. "Persistence? I've never really seen him like this before. You really hurt him, Bella."
"I know," I say miserably, trying not to cry. I hate this night. I hate all these people. I just want to be with Edward.
"Wow," Kate muses again.
"What?" I snap defensively.
"You're actually different," she explains.
"Thanks," I say with a sigh, losing my mad. "That was kinda the point of the whole leaving thing."
"Well done," Kate says, nodding her head to me and raising her glass.
I can't tell if she is fucking with me or not, but I decide to let it go when I see Jake walk in with his new girlfriend in tow. I make my way to them, hoping his new lady love will distract me from all the ways I've managed to fuck up my life.
March 3, 2006
On off duty days, I stay at Edward's. I sleep better here with him than I do in my narrow, springy dorm bed. It's nice to be away from incessant freshmen problems. As much as I like my job, I need to get away.
I've stopped attempting to define what we are to each other, and I don't think about it much anymore. For now, I'm content to just be. Edward is too. He never badgers me to go on dates with him anymore. He hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend in months.
Edward is simply my friend who gives me mind-boggling orgasms on a regular basis.
My addiction to that boy's cock has certainly not abated.
"BELLA!" Alice screeches from the bathroom down the hall. She shares the other upstairs room with Jasper. Emmett and Rosalie sleep downstairs in the biggest room off the kitchen with its own bathroom. Everyone is grateful that they live on a different floor. I have no idea what kind of antics go on behind those doors, but it's fucking loud.
"What?" I snap back, my eyes not leaving the pages of my book. I'm re-reading Sense and Sensibility for my Georgian England Lit class, and no one gets between me and my Austen. Plus, I'm sitting on Edward's neatly made golden bed, propped up in the corner on some really excellent pillows. It's definitely one of my favorite places on the planet.
She yells something at me from the bathroom, but I can't hear her over whatever emo crap she has blasting, so I stay silent. A moment later, she stomps into the bedroom, glaring at me from the doorway with her tiny fists on her hips.
"Jesus, Alice," I reply when I glance up at her, giving in after she taps her foot obnoxiously for a moment. She is clothed only in a lacy purple bra and matching panties. "Put some pants on, you spritely fool."
"You're such a prude." She sounds ridiculously serious. We started at each other for a moment before busting into giggles. Alice doubles over, and I snort into my book. Eventually we compose ourselves, and Alice speaks. "I'm actually here to clothe myself."
"Ah. I see. Using me for my wardrobe, as usual." This is said in sarcasm, of course. Alice usually calls me a hooker, a hippy, or homeless when she sees me. Apparently, I have a couple of really great separates - whatever that means - that Alice steals regularly.
"At least you understand our friendship," she replies sweetly, marching into her brother's closet. "Do you have that slinky black mini dress here?" she asks from the depths of the walk-in.
"Fuck, Alice," I call back. "I have no idea." The fact that I have so many clothes at Edward's should freak me out, but I'm way too practical to dwell on the implications.
"Bella, this shoe is falling apart. If you'd let me take you shopping… OH! Found it. Score." Alice and I are pretty close to the same size. I'm taller and she's bustier, but we can pretty much share everything. Rose gets particularly cranky about it until someone reminds her how hot she is.
"Why are you getting all spiffed out anyway?" I ask, turning back to my book.
"Just going to get drinks with Jazz," she says, pulling my dress on over her head and body. "His best friend from home is in town. Apparently, Jasper has ranted about my striking beauty, so I have to live up to all the hype."
"It's not hype," I snort. "You're hot and you know it."
Alice rolls her eyes at me as she adjusts the fabric of the dress in the mirror she herself hung on the back of Edward's closet door.
"Hey!" she says, turning suddenly. "Want to come? Edward should be getting home soon, right?"
Just a year ago, I would have jumped at the chance to do anything that might distract me from myself, a way to get out of my own fucking head. Now, I actually prefer staying in.
Plus, Edward hates Thursdays. He has class solidly from eight a.m. to three, and then he volunteers at the hospital from four to nine. The boy is a machine, and I don't know how he does it. The plus side is that he has no classes on Fridays, and I usually reward him with breakfast.
"Naw, bre," I say, shaking my head and turning back to Jane. "You have fun, though."
"Tell me Peter will like me."
Alice is oddly nervous. It's slightly unsettling and totally out of character.
"Peter will love you," I say, meaning it.
"Tell me I look pretty."
"You look smokin'. Though that might just be the dress."
"Thanks," she says with a smile, making her exit. "Peter is just like Jasper's brother. I feel like I need to get approval."
"Alice. It's going to be great. You will be your typical charming self. Just keep the fashion diatribes to yourself and try not to predict the future, okay?"
She runs over to the bed, plants a smacking kiss on my cheek, and saunters out of the room. I really do love that semi-psychotic pixie.
Twenty minutes later, an exhausted Edward appears in the doorway. He kicks off his canvas slip on Vans towards the general direction of the closet, sighing heavily.
"God, how long have you been lying there? Reading one of your favorite books?" he demands with a loud exhale.
"Oh, about three hours," I reply, flipping a page as I continue to read. I watch him out of the corner of my eye.
"I'm so. Unbelievably. Jealous. Of you." Shucking the dark cardigan he wears over his white polo with the blue hospital logo on the breast, he crawls into bed. I lift my free arm, allowing him to rest his head on my shoulder and his arm to come around my rib cage. I run my fingers through the soft hair above his ear.
"Long day?" I ask.
"Yeah. I hate Thursdays."
"You did this to yourself, buddy," I remind him, turning another page.
"All the classes I needed to take are on Tuesdays and Thursdays this semester. Not my fault." His big, cold-from-the-outdoors hand comes to rest under my nightshirt, and I smile because Edward is cute when he's whiney. I have to reread the same paragraph three times before I finally figure out what the fuck Austen is talking about.
"And the volunteering?"
"Yeah, that was just stupid."
"I made dinner. Saved some for you from your brother. It's in the fridge," I tell him absently. He smiles, and the movement of his lips against my skin prompts me to shuffle closer to him.
"Thank you. Maybe I'll have some later, but I'm too tired to move at the moment. How was your day?"
"Fine. I talked to Charlie," I tell him casually, continuing the ruse of reading. I don't feel casual about it, though. Feeling bold, I took Edward's advice after last Thanksgiving to try with my dad. We talk on the phone now, usually once a week. The police chief is actually kind of cool. Equally cool is that I sort of really have a dad now, even if I don't see him very often.
"Oh? And how is Chief Swan?" he asks, flinging his leg between mine, rubbing my lady bits with his knee. It's weird because I'm trying to tell him about my dad and getting really turned on at the same time.
"Good. Really good. He has a new girlfriend. It took me ten minutes to weasel that information out of him. I think my blunt language makes him uncomfortable."
"I would imagine." His hand tightens on my hip, and his breath is hot on my neck. He rubs his hard-on into my thigh, and I stifle a moan.
"I'm trying to tell you about my father, and you're all up on me," I admonish, still trying to read. "Such a creeper."
He chuckles, kisses my neck, and then relaxes against me. I pout because the movement of his legs and hands feels so good. All of him always feels so good.
"Sorry, love. What else did you talk about?"
I go back to running my fingers through the hair just behind his ear in a futile attempt to calm us both down. I actually do have things I want to discuss with him.
"He says he wants to see me more often," I say softly, wishing that I wasn't so nervous. Why can't I be casual? This isn't a big deal. "He suggested that I come live with him this summer…"
"Really?" Edward's bronze head pops up enthusiastically, whacking into the book still in my hand. He sends it flying, and it clatters on the wooden floor an instant later. I try to scowl at him as he rubs his head. "Ow."
"You are such a nerd," I giggle.
"Bella." Ignoring my irritation-turned-amusement, he props himself up on one elbow and pulls on my arm until I roll slightly to look up at him. "Are you going to?"
"To what?" I ask, being deliberately obtuse.
"To live with Charlie this summer," he says with a scowl through clenched teeth. He is just so damn sexy when he's annoyed. His jaw tightens, making it even more defined. His brow furrows, giving me an excuse to touch him when I smooth it out. I giggle again as I press my lips against said jaw. Pulling him on top of me, I continue to kiss his jaw, neck, and ear.
"Isabella," he groans out as his hands begin to move over me. "Stop trying to distract me, and answer the question."
"I don't know, Edward," I reply to placate him. I've been waiting all night in his bed for him to finally come home, and I don't want to fucking talk. Of course, I probably should have fucking figured this out before I told him about talking to Charlie. "What do you think?"
He pauses for a moment, supporting his weight with his hands on either side of my head, and cocks his head to the side as he looks down at me. Edward studies me like I'm one of his fucking science projects. I wonder what's going on in that genius brain of his, and I squirm, uncomfortable under his intense gaze.
"Well, I'm going to be in Forks this summer," he says slowly, his head bending to kiss my neck. I close my eyes and breathe him in.
"Yes," I sigh out as Edward's hand finds its way back under my shirt. "I thought of that."
"Alice is staying here, so is Emmett," he continues as his teeth latch onto my ear lobe, and his thumb flicks over my nipple. I bite my lip and try to focus on what he is saying. "I'll be all alone in Forks. Just working with my dad…with so much free time on my hands."
"Humm mumph…" That's all that I can manage at the moment as Edward continues his seduction. When did he get so good at this? I want him to kiss me, and a moment later he pulls my t-shirt over my head. I've prepared for this situation accordingly, so his action leaves me only in a pair of zebra print panties.
I whimper somewhat pathetically as his mouth works its way down my neck to settle on my chest.
"God," he moans with his nose pressed against my sternum and his hands squeezing me. "I love your breasts."
"Tits," I correct, reaching up to place a hand over each of his, encouraging him to squeeze me again. He complies, and I arch off the bed into his large, lovely hands. "These are tits. Much sexier then breasts."
"They're perfect, whatever you call them," he replies, his hot mouth replacing his right hand. My breathing becomes labored, and my eyes flicker closed. Can I go all summer without this? Without Edward? I'm hopelessly addicted to him.
His teeth graze my nipple before he switches to my other tit. I'm writhing beneath him, moaning quietly as his thumb presses into the flesh by my hipbone. I thrust against him involuntarily, seeking the pleasure I know is to come.
Ha. Come. Puns are fucking funny.
My hands travel over his broad shoulders and lovely back. I love his back.
"About Forks," he says against my moist skin. His words aren't making sense to me. I don't get why he is using his mouth to fucking talk anyway. There are much better things he should be doing.
"Huh?" His hand moves lower, knuckles brushing against the now drenched fabric at my crotch. My fingers thread through his hair as I groan again.
"This summer, Isabella," he says, sounding remarkably normal. It's not fair. "Are you going to live with your dad?"
"I… dunnnn…" I'm having a difficult time forming words. Again, I lift my hips off the bed and attempt to pull him closer with my legs around his waist, but he holds me down with a large hand pressed against my lower abdomen.
In my need, I whimper pathetically again.
"I could touch you all summer," he murmurs in my ear. I want him to kiss me again. I want his tongue in my mouth.
"Humm…" is my intelligent reply.
"Would you like that, Isabella? Would you like me to touch you all summer? " His thumb finds my clit, and I cry out. He has me on the verge of begging, and I don't particularly like the power he has over me, but it feels too divine to do anything about it. I try to seek out his hard cock, which I feel between my thighs, but he continues to hold me down. I let out some embarrassing sounds in my frustration.
"Are you going to answer the question?" His thumb traces my clit softly over my panties, increasing my desire and frustration simultaneously.
"Yeaaaaa…" I finally manage as he nibbles my lip.
"Are you going to live in Forks this summer?" He slips a finger in me so fucking slowly as his thumb makes firm circles on my clit, and he lets my hips move as I rub shamelessly on him.
"Yes…touch…all summer," I cry out.
"I'm gonna hold you to that."
Edward's lips find mine, and his tongue slips into my mouth. He kisses me languidly, and his fingers work me into oblivion. At some point, I realize just how many clothes he is wearing, and I tug on his polo until he removes his hands from my body long enough to help me fling it to the floor.
With my hands in his hair, I pull his face back to mine. I love the way he kisses. The way he tastes. The way he touches me.
He adds another finger, and tremors roll through my tummy. My hands fly from his hair to the belt on his khaki pants.
"Get. These. Off."
He shucks the pants awkwardly before carefully lying down on my body. He ever so slowly pushes into me with one long stroke. I cry out in joy, hugging his body close to mine. I like the way his naked chest feels against my naked chest. Our hearts hammer away at the same pace.
"Oh… baaaby…" I moan when he grabs my tit.
"God, Bella," he groans in reply. "You feel so good."
His strokes are slow and deep. I feel him in every part of my body, and it's too much.
He has to move fast. His slow pace and the way he looks down at me as his face contorts with pleasure feel far too…tender. I feel far too much.
"More," I demand with a hiss.
I thrust up to meet him more aggressively, pulling him towards me with my hands digging into his ass. For a moment, he looks down at me like he isn't going to give in to my urging to move faster, but then his hips start pumping away.
It's easier to keep my shit on lock when I feel like I'm just fucking him.
No one has ever made me come like Edward, and I scream out his name when he far exceeds my expectations. He is always far exceeding my expectations.
He pulls me into his arms, and I lay my head on his chest. Our breathing settles, and he plays with my hair.
"So, what's the verdict?" he asks after several minutes of silence when I thought he was asleep.
"Verdict?"
"Forks? Summer?"
I smile, glad he wants me around.
"I'll strongly consider it, see if I can get a job and how serious Charlie is," I reply, snuggling closer to him.
"Good. I don't want to be without you," he says as he drifts off to sleep. I try not to dwell on his words, telling myself for the zillionth time that it's just sex.
Alone, I never sleep past seven o'clock in the morning, but with Edward, I sleep better. This morning, I make it until eight-thirty, knowing that Edward will probably stay asleep for another hour.
I move away from him anyway; it will take awhile to prepare the feast I'm planning on feeding him.
Maybe even in bed. Although that always runs the danger of letting breakfast go cold. I don't have class until this afternoon, and I'm looking forward to just being with my boy.
I kiss Edward's eyelids before I pull away, rolling out of bed. I locate a pair of fresh panties, a large t-shirt of Edward's, and a pair of thigh high purple socks. Everyone else has class early this morning, so I could go downstairs naked if I so chose.
Putting on some acoustic reggae, I pull out the ingredients to make French toast as I slide around the kitchen on my socks. As I shake my booty and whip the eggs, a foreign male voice behind me freaks me out so much, I nearly drop the whole bowl.
"Nice. Rosalie, I presume? Jazz didn't tell you were so hot."
With hands on my hips, I turn to scowl at the lanky boy standing in my kitchen in a pair of Wrangler jeans and a wrinkled plaid shirt. He scratches his mussed, dark hair. I didn't realize someone could leer and look so sleepy at the same time.
"Who the fuck are you, cocksucker?" I demand, hating how uncomfortable this stranger makes me. My language just makes him grin wider, and he comes closer, leaning against the counter near the fridge.
"Peter. Jasper's friend." Right. Obviously. I relax slightly. "You have a dirty mouth. I like it."
"Ah. I wasn't aware you were staying here." Although I should have been. Where the fuck else was he going to stay?
"I'm terribly sorry to impose on your home, little lady," he drawls, raising an eyebrow. What a dick. He's flirting with me, and he thinks I'm Rosalie, therefore he knows I have a boyfriend. Jerk.
"You're not," I reply, turning back to breakfast. "I don't live here."
"So if you ain't Rosalie, who're you?"
"You know," Edward's voice drifts from the hall, "as much as I love it when you cook me breakfast, one of these days it would be nice to actually wake up with you."
He enters the kitchen to see Peter ogling me dressed only in a t-shirt and socks. I'm momentarily distracted, because Edward isn't wearing a shirt.
"Oh," Edward says, his face falling and his voice growing cold. "Hello."
"Oh, it's you. I forgot about you," Peter says condescendingly. "You still around, then?"
"Yes." Edward's tone is clipped. He moves to me, pointedly avoiding Peter as he wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles my neck. I giggle as I soak a piece of toast in egg. "Good morning, love."
This nickname freaks me out, but I don't say anything. Part of me is still trying to make up for how much I hurt him at the hospital.
"Good morning," I reply with a sigh. I lean back into him and close my eyes for a moment, just enjoying the sensation of being close to him.
"Sleep well?" he whispers.
I nod, biting my lip as I smile coyly up at him.
"Good. Me too." He kisses my neck before moving away and pouring himself a cup of coffee. Still smiling, I glance at Peter who is staring at me in shock.
"What?" I ask, putting the toast in a pan.
"You're with him?" Peter demands incredulously. I don't like his tone, and I go immediately on the defensive. Those who don't know Edward tend to think of him as an unbearable, socially awkward geek. Their judgment turns me into a mama bear. I don't like people looking down on Edward.
"You don't even fucking know him," I hiss under my breath.
"Oh, I know him, darlin'," Peter drawls with a sneer. "We met last year. Edward is Jasper's geeky-ass roommate. I really don't get what my best friend sees in you," Peter continues, turning his gaze onto Edward.
Edward looks down, shuffling his feet.
"I was going to offer you some breakfast, but you're just going to have to go hungry, cocksucker."
"Aw, come on. Don't be like that, baby," he croons, taking a step towards me. What the fuck is this guy's problem?
"Don't call her baby!" Edward says, angry now.
"Shit. Pussy boy has a backbone. I'm shocked and impressed."
"Listen, dick hole," I say, poking Peter in the chest. "You're a guest in his home, so stop being such a douche. You're condescending, revolting, and rude. Though, I suppose pussy boy actually is an apt name because he certainly knows his way around one. I'm willing to bet my own goddamn foot that he gave me more orgasms last night than you've given anyone in your whole goddamn life. You may be Jasper's childhood chum, but you're not a very nice person, so get the fuck out of this kitchen before I whack you over the head with this frying pan."
Still smiling, Peter raises his hands in surrender before slinking out of the room.
I take a deep breath before turning back to Edward. "Breakfast?" I ask. He smiles slightly and nods.
May 7, 2006
I'm irrationally nervous when I land at Sea-Tac with Edward. His mother is picking us up because both our fathers are at work. I'm still convinced the woman hates my guts, something Edward adamantly denies. She correctly thinks I'm corrupting her youngest. Esme would have a motherfucking coronary if she knew what we were doing up against the closet door this morning. And then again in the shower.
Lord, the memories are making me hot.
So is the way Edward's forearms ripple under the rolled-up sleeves of his sweater as he reaches up to retrieve our suitcases from the overhead. And I want to lick the little strip of skin just above his boxers exposed during the reach. And goddamn, his thighs look good encased in all that dark denim.
I go a little cross-eyed with desire as Edward snaps his fingers in my face.
"Bella?" he asks with a chuckle. Apparently he has been fucking talking to me for quite some time. And I was too busy checkin' him out to fucking notice. How embarrassing.
Wow, look at his hands. All long-fingered and masculine and capable of doing wonderful things to me. I glance up and get lost in his eyes again. They are just so goddamn green.
His brow furrows, and he looks at me quizzically. "What?" he says, fucking around with the strap to his backpack in apparent discomfort.
"Nothin'," I say, my face flushing crimson as I stare determinedly at my lap.
"Do I have something in my teeth?" he says, laughing uncomfortably again.
I shake my head and refuse to look at him. He has total power over me with his general goddamn sexiness, and I am terrified of him finding out. If I look at him, he will see everything with his science-trained eyes like he always does.
"Come on, weirdo." He's laughing at me for real this time as he tugs on my hand. "Let's get off this plane."
He kisses my temple as I pass, and I close my eyes, leaning into his touch for a moment. I have no fucking idea what I'm doing with him. How long can I just be with him? I feel suffocated when I think about it, so I avoid any thoughts of my relationship with Edward.
Seattle is grey, and already I miss Colorado.
What the fuck was I fucking thinking? I can't do this. I'm on the goddamn precipice of a complete panic attack, but then Edward slings an arm around my shoulders, instantly calming me.
I don't let myself think about how troubling his calming effect is, or I would really lose it.
"Are you okay?" he whispers in my ear as we wait by the baggage claim for our pair of huge-ass suitcases that contain all the stuff we could possibly need for the summer.
I nod into his chest and pull him closer. When he cradles me to him like this, I feel okay. Mostly.
We only wait on the curb for a moment before Esme pulls up in a fancy SUV. With an Alice-like squeal, she runs around the car and launches herself at my boy. He grins as he steps away from me, returning her hug. He lifts her off the ground as she laughs, and the whole interaction inexplicably makes me miss Renee. I hate missing Renee.
Even though she's around, I haven't let her in.
"Edward! I'm so happy that you're home for the summer. We're going to feed you up right. You're so skinny. And we really need to do something about this mop of hair." Esme sticks her fingers in Edward's silky strands, and I glare at her. Not only is she touching my boy's hair, she is talking about whacking it the fuck off.
I'm irrationally jealous of his mother. His mother. Lord, what the fuck is wrong with me?
"Mom," Edward says, gracefully detangling himself from his mother's clutches and ignoring her questions. "You remember Bella."
"Hello again, Mrs. Cullen." I'm trying to be polite, but the words feel forced on my lips.
"Hello, Bella," Esme says, giving me a quick, awkward hug with an accompanied quick, awkward smile. "And I've told you before, call me Esme. It's lovely to hear that you will be in Forks for the summer. Edward is just thrilled."
Don't want to hear that. I never want to hear that Edward has grown attached in the months we've been sleeping together. It's not unexpected, but I don't let myself think about all the damage I'll do to him when it's over. Because I'm positive, eventually it'll be over.
"Mom, let's get going, okay?" Edward says, changing the subject as he obviously sees my face.
"Bella, take the front," Edward says after placing our bags in the back.
I shake my head vigorously and attempt to move to the back. Esme scares the fuck out of me, and I don't want to be responsible for holding up conversation with the woman.
"Bella," Edward says with barely contained irritation. He snags my elbow to keep me outside the vehicle. "Take the front."
Again, I do the headshake thing and think about punching him.
"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffs. "You get car sick."
I put my punching desires into motion, and he sighs. Even though he doesn't agree, he helps me up after I slip on nothing. He strokes my cheek before closing the door.
I spend most of the car ride in contemplative silence, watching Edward interact with his mom. The love between the two is palatable, and again I miss my mom. Although she's been around the last couple of years, I haven't really spent much time with her. I'm wary because I feel like she's gonna take off again. But she's my mom, despite her sins, and I really do miss her.
So I spend my first four hours in a car missing a woman I hate, wanting to fuck the boy in the front seat, and trying to keep from vomiting all over Esme's expensive leather seats.
Yeah, that doesn't bode well for my summer in Forks.
My newfound relationship with my dad is all Edward's doing. Over Thanksgiving break freshmen year, he somehow gave me the strength to just talk to Charlie. So I did. About simple things, everyday things. I cooked for him and told him about my life in Colorado while he told me about Forks. When I left, we kept talking at least once a week via phone. And now I'm living with the man for the summer.
He's awake when I get home from my morning jog. The running is another thing I started doing with Edward, and though I'm slow as shit because of all the smoking, I find I enjoy it anyway.
"Holy hell, Bells," Charlie says, glancing up from his morning paper when I appear in the utility room off the kitchen. "You're soaked!"
"Yeah, random ass rain showers are not really something I'm used to worrying about. I think it's rained a total of four times this year in Boulder," I reply, grabbing a towel and attempting to dry my hair.
Charlie chuckles at me and turns back to his paper.
I run upstairs to the room Charlie kept mine even after all these years. I'm weirdly touched by the gesture. After showering and changing, I bound back downstairs and fling open the refrigerator door.
"Do you want breakfast, Charlie?" I ask as I rummage. There are slim pickin's, but I'm pleased to find some eggs and bread.
"No thanks, Bells," he says from behind his paper. "I really need to be getting down to the station in a few minutes. What do you have planned for today?"
"Well, Edward's going to take me into town to talk to Mrs. Newton about that job you told me about. Hopefully it works out."
"Good, good," Charlie says, setting down his paper and standing from the small kitchen table. "I've been meaning to ask. What exactly is going on with you two?"
I loathe this question. It makes me have to think about the answer, which I don't want to do.
"Nothin'," I say with a shrug. There is no way I'm about to tell Charlie that Edward is my fuck buddy. No way.
Charlie grunts in return before moving towards the garage door. He pauses at the threshold before briskly walking back to me, kissing my forehead, and then abruptly departs again.
I stand there blinking at him in shock for a full five minutes before my phone rings in my pocket.
"Hmm?" I manage when I answer.
"Good morning, love," Edward says cheerily into my ear.
"The weirdest thing just happened," I reply.
"And what's that?"
"Charlie just kissed me. On the forehead."
There is silence for a moment before Edward replies. "Is that it?"
"Yeah. I can't even remember him ever even hugging me. The man isn't good with emotions."
"Like father, like daughter. I always wondered where you got that," Edward says with a chuckle. "Bella, he's your dad. That's what parents do."
"Right. Because he's my parent." I sound a little dazed.
"Did I mention that I just pulled into your driveway? And am now walking up your front steps? I really think you should open your front door."
"You're such a creeper," I tell him with a laugh before hanging up on him.
I practically sprint to the door, I'm so thrilled to see him. Last night was the first in a long time that we didn't share a bed, and I could barely manage to fucking fall asleep.
"Hi," he says, grinning that crooked goddamn grin that will get him anything he wants.
"Sup, dude," I greet. My words are casual, but I'm afraid that my face betrays how happy I am to see him.
He hugs me and kisses my temple.
"Do you want breakfast?" I ask as I breeze past him into the kitchen.
"No. I don't think I'll ever eat again. My mom force fed me pancakes and French toast and eggs and bacon," Edward grumbles behind me as I stick my head in the fridge again. I'm thankful the fridge hides my face from him, because I am sure the jealousy I feel is clearly displayed. Again, irrationally I want to be the only one cooking for him.
"I'll just have a quick piece of toast, then," I say, placing the bread in the toaster and plopping myself on the counter to wait.
Edward slowly approaches me with a familiar gleam in his eye. I bite my lip and use my legs to pull him closer. He smirks at me as he settles himself between my thighs.
"Hi," I say breathily as his lips hover millimeters from mine.
"Hi," he replies with a smirk. His hands rest on my hips, and I shuffle closer to him on the countertop. He kisses me quickly, and I pout when he pulls away. "Did you miss me last night?"
I shrug and try to look bored in response.
He runs his nose along my jaw and kisses that spot just below my ear that makes me melt. I whimper against my will as he pulls away. On their own accord, my hands find their way into his hair. I love his hair. I missed his hair last night.
"I missed you," he whispers against the base of my throat. "I only got about two hours of sleep with you absent from my bed."
Never taking his eyes off mine, Edward deliberately and languidly kisses me. My lips fall open as he traces his tongue across my bottom lip. I tilt my head in an attempt to get more of him, but he is not budging.
"Did you miss me, Isabella?" He is basically purring as he tortures me on purpose.
"Not particularly," I reply petulantly as my breakfast explodes out of the toaster.
Edward sighs and shakes his head. He reaches around me, plucking the bread from the toaster and forcefully sticking it in my mouth. "Eat your toast," he mutters.
I chew with a frown as he pulls away to sit at the kitchen table. He totally has the upper hand this morning, and I don't like that he's not touching me. He's purposely making me suffer, so I'm going to make him suffer.
"So what's the agenda for the day, slugger?" I ask nonchalantly.
"Don't you want to go see about the job at Newton's Sporting Goods?" he asks, his brow furrowing. I want to smooth it out with my thumb.
"Fucking right, that's what I fucking want. I desire nothing more than to go see the Newtons. I've missed one in particular," I say wistfully.
"Hardy har har," he scoffs, his frown deepening. I do a mental fist pump in victory.
"I'm not fucking kidding, bucko," I say, licking the crumbs from my now gone breakfast from my fingertips in what I hope is a seductive manger.
He huffs and stands, slowly approaching me in that predatory way he has.
"You are so not funny."
"Fuck you. I am fucking hilarious. But I'm not joking. I can't wait to see that Mikey N."
Edward stalks across the kitchen and tilts my chin roughly so I'm looking him in the eye. He looks hot when he's pissed, and I bite my lip in anticipation. I try to appear wide-eyed and serious as he studies me, but I think I really come off as lusty.
Because I am.
All the time when he's around.
"You are not funny, Isabella," he repeats in a low, husky voice.
"Humm? What was that? I didn't hear you because I was busy fantasizing about Mike's big brown eyes." I look off into the distance and sigh dramatically.
With more force than necessary, he yanks my face back to his. Oh, he is getting rough. I love rough, in control Edward. He chuckles darkly as I glance up at him from underneath my eyelashes. He leans forward slowly, and I hope he's moving to kiss me, but at the last moment he changes course and I feel his hot breath against my ear.
"His eyes are blue, love." Goddamn it. How could I not remember even that detail?
"See? It's been so long I can't remember the color of my one true love's eyes. We should really get going." I attempt to slip off the counter, but Edward's hands clench around my thighs. He prevents me from moving, just as I wanted him to.
I try to touch his face, but he jerks away.
"You're really pushing your luck," he says through clenched teeth.
I move my knee against his bulging crotch, pleased that I'm getting to him. He is always getting to me. The heat is almost unbearable, and I need him right the fuck now.
His hands tighten on my legs again, and his thumbs move inward to just where I fucking need him.
"If you keep it up," I taunt, "you just might make me forget all about dear Michael."
I try to touch him again, but he captures my hands in the vice grip of his own. I gasp in delight as he takes control, and my panties get soaked all the way through.
"Damn right," he declares before yanking my denim skirt completely off my body in one shocking movement.
I yelp when a long finger plunges into me, and his thumb finds my clit. Again he manacles my wrists as I wiggle closer to him. His touch is not firm enough, and he is once again deliberately torturing me.
I want his tongue in my mouth, and he knows it, and he once again keeps our kiss far too chaste. I groan in frustration. He has the audacity to chuckle at my plight.
"What's his name, Bella?" His velvet voice is low and sexy and makes me want to come right then and there. "The name of this guy you are so desperate to see?"
I'm vaguely aware that Edward is asking me a question, but his words aren't registering. Nothing makes sense as his fingers slowly withdraw from my pussy. I struggle against his restraining hold, desperate to touch him. To bring him closer. I thrash about a bit and whimper in frustration.
"Bella," he moans in my ear. His free and soaked-with-Bella-juice hand unzips his jeans, which easily fall to the floor. "Do you want me to touch you?"
Oh, fuck yes. I nod like an idiot.
"Then answer the question." Somehow, he magics his boxers down his beautiful thighs, and the wonder cock is in full view.
I try to open my eyes to look at him in puzzlement, because I can't remember there being a question, but my body is no longer responding to my brain.
"Whaaa…?" I attempt.
"What's. His. Name." Each word is punctuated with a ruthless bit of finger fucking, and I almost lose it.
"Bella. His name. Now."
Crap. What the crap is his name? The only other being I have room in my head for is Edward. Edward touching me. Edward kissing me. Edward fucking me. And I'm not going to get any of that unless I answer the question.
"Murphy?" I venture.
"Good answer," he hisses as he pulls me forward on the counter, lining my entrance up with my favorite organ ever. Once again, I struggle to get closer, and this time he lets me get my hands on him. Thank fuck.
His tip teases my clit, and I almost cry, the torture is so fucking divine.
"He doesn't touch you, got that?" Edward's words are harsh, and he bites down on my collarbone, causing me to cry out. "Only I touch you. You're mine."
My legs attempt to draw him closer, and my feet dig into his damn Greek God ass in desperation.
"Yours," I echo, forgetting that this demonstration of possession should freak me out.
All thought leaves my head as he rams into me the moment the word leaves my lips. He sets a furious pace, and I am beside myself with pleasure.
"Edward!" I cry out in a moment of extreme and shocking enunciation. I know how he likes me to say his name, and his already driving pace becomes fiercer.
"Fuck, you feel good," he moans as I try to keep up.
I love it when Edward fucks me. He loves it too, and after a few minutes he's sweaty and grunting. My hands latch onto his broad back. I hold on for the ride, and let him fuck me into oblivion.
I scream his name as I come, and he follows me with an answering exultation a moment later. We don't move as our rapid breathing settles for a drawn out moment.
"My legs are going to give out," he mumbles into my neck as he lifts me off the counter top and stumbles across the room with me wrapped around him to a nearby chair. I pout as the movement causes him to slip out of me before settling into his lap in our new seated position. My legs dangle listlessly on either side of the chair, and he holds me close.
"Did you miss me?" he whispers into my hair after our breathing returns to a normal rate. "Last night? Did you miss me?"
"Of course I did," I begrudgingly admit. "My bed was so cold without you in it."
I hug him close, but the moment is quickly becoming too intimate, so I pull back to see his face.
"That's one way to prepare for a job interview," I say as I try (and thankfully fail) to flatten Edward's wild bronze hair.
Edward chuckles at my statement, and I chuckle back when I glance down at us. We look ridiculous.
"How did we manage to keep our top halves clothed?" I ask.
"This is a terrible oversight," Edward says with mock horror. "Allow me to rectify the situation." He begins to fiddle with the buttons on my red shirt, but I smack his hands away.
"We don't have time for that now," I scold. "Also, never say rectify when your naked cock is so close to my equally naked lady bit."
"Never say cock and naked lady bit unless you are planning to do something with all that," Edward groans, once again attempting to get me out of my remaining clothes.
"No time! I mean it, Edward," I say. My toes search for purchase with the ground as I attempt to stand.
"Something to look forward to then," Edward decides. He closes his eyes, allowing me to kiss each of his eyelids before I move away to sort out the clothes situation.
"But seriously," he says from behind me as I clean myself up and search for my panties. "Do you even remember what Mike Newton looks like?"
"But seriously," I repeat as I pull my skirt over my hips. It's the most professional thing I own and uncomfortably long, and I hope to make a good impression on the Newtons. "Are we really still talking about Mike?"
"He wanted to kiss you," Edward mumbles morosely.
"Among other things," I mutter under my breath.
"What?"
"Nothin'. Shit. Put your pants on." I throw the jeans, and they whack him directly in the face.
"Bellaaaa," he groans in apparent misery.
"Chill out, Spazward. Mike probably doesn't even remember me."
"You're unforgettable, Isabella."
I pull him out the front door to hide the extent of my answering blush.
We walk into the locally-owned sporting goods store, where I will hopefully work this summer, and see Mike Newton sitting at the cash register. His eyes rake over my body when he glances away from the computer at which he was avidly staring.
Wow, his eyes are, like, really fucking blue. How the shit did I miss that?
"Hi," I say politely, stepping away from a tense and frowning Edward. "I'm here to talk to Mrs. Newton about a job this summer."
"Right," Mike says, springing up from his seat and sprinting around the counter to stand in front of me. Has he even seen Edward yet? I can't tell. "I don't know if you remember, but we met before. I'm Mike."
"I remember," I tell him as I let him shake my hand. "Mostly. I'm Bella. And of course you know Edward."
Mike looks surprised to see my boy, probably glaring away behind me.
"Hey," Mike says awkwardly.
"Hello," Edward replies coolly.
"Anyway," Mike continues, turning back to me. "I'm really glad you're working here this summer. It'll be nice to have some fresh blood."
The fool fucking winks at me, and I barely contain my eye roll. Edward steps closer to me, draping an arm around my shoulders.
"Do you see all the countertops in here?" Edward whispers lewdly in my ear. "Imagine all the use we could put them to."
I blush like crazy and immediately punch him in the pectoral for causing said blush. Asshole. Though I can't help but notice that he's right. There is a lot of counter space.
Mike looks bemused, and we stand there in awkward silence until Mrs. Newton comes up front from the back room.
"Good morning," she chirps. Mrs. Newton is the Mrs. Claus version of her son. How does someone so wide move so fast? "You must be Isabella. I've heard so much about you from the chief. We're happy to have the help this summer."
"Ah… thanks," I reply, a little shocked that Charlie has talked about me so much. But on the plus side, it sounds like I already have the job. "And it's just Bella."
"What?" she asks, blinking in confusion.
"She goes by Bella," Edward clarifies with a charming smile. "And hello, Mrs. Newton. It's good to see you."
"Edward!" She shrieks and fucking hugs him. Hugging is not okay. I remind myself that killing my employer would probably reflect negatively on my job performance. "Look at you! College has done you wonders. What are you doing here?"
"Just dropping off Bella," he says, giving her another smile. I can see her melting in front of me, and I want to punch him again.
"Oh!" she says, clutching her massive bosom in surprise. "And just how do you two know each other?"
"We go to school together in Colorado," Edward explains, putting an arm around my waist. I subtly try to get away from him, but he holds firm. He knows I hate this possessive crap outside the bedroom, and I plan all the places I'm going to punch him when we are next alone. "Small world, isn't it?"
"Yes, yes," she titters, eyes zoning in on his hand on my hip. "So are you two…"
"Yup," he says casually as my face catches fire. "Sure are."
I only let him get away with it because Mike is there. If this is what it takes for him to be less insane about me working at the Newtons', then so be it.
"Well, you just make a lovely couple. I'm so happy for you, Edward!"
They catch up for a few minutes until it's time for Edward to leave. He kisses my temple and promises to pick me up at six that night. He leaves, and already I don't feel right with him gone.
I spend the day re-shelving overpriced shit and learning way too much about wool socks. I only fall off two step stools, so in a way my new job is a success. The suffocation sensation is back, and I wonder if I'll last the summer.
Two weeks into the summer, and I think I can do this. It's routine. It's simple. Sometimes, when Edward isn't around to distract me, or things are slow with the store, or Charlie acts a little too much like my dad, or I don't see the sun for three days, I get claustrophobic. I feel too much, and all I want to do is hightail it back to Boulder.
But I honestly don't think I could survive without Edward. And that alone is why I should leave. When did my life get so complicated?
This particular evening, the sun is shining and Edward is helping me grill. Or at least he claims to be helping. In reality, he's all over me. Hands running over my stomach and grabbing my hips. Lips tormenting my neck and kissing the side of my face.
"That's horribly distracting," I say with a giggle as he presses his thumbs into the little indents next to my hipbones.
"You like my distractions," he says with his lips against my jaw.
I hum my agreement, close the lid of the grill, and turn to wrap my arms around his neck.
"You look particularly beautiful this evening, love," he says, giving me the mother of all panty-dropping grins.
"Don't call me love," I say without much heat.
He kisses each corner of my mouth, and I'm about to get demanding and yank his lips to mine, but someone clears their throat, loudly, behind us. I squeak in surprise and jump away from Edward when I see Charlie at the sliding glass door.
"Hey there, Charlie," I say far too loudly. Is this what this feels like? Getting caught by your dad? Growing up, Renee encouraged such behavior, so this embarrassment is a foreign feeling. "I was thinking that we should eat outside because it's so nice. I'm doing a little surf and turf. I know how you like your meat."
I wish I didn't say that.
"Hello, chief," Edward says, cutting off my ridiculous babbling. "It's good to see you again."
I've spent most of my time in the last two weeks at the Cullens' to avoid this fucking awkward situation. We are already lying to his parents about the status of our relationship, so it makes things easier. I just didn't want to fucking deal with Charlie. But Edward insisted on joining the chief and me for dinner. He promised to behave himself, but my dad just had to fucking come home early.
Lovely.
"Edward," Charlie says brusquely. He retreats abruptly back to the house, and I punch Edward in the arm.
"OW!" he yells, the drama queen. "What was that about?"
"Don't be a baby." I open the grill and stir the veggies. "Now he's going to have questions."
"So we'll answer them. It's not like we were doing something wrong. We're twenty years old." Edward is basically laughing at me, and I don't like it.
Half an hour later, we all sit down on the small back porch flanked by a terrifying amount of green. It is too lush here, and I crave the familiar browns of home. Although, lotion is not a necessity here like it is in Colorado, so that is a big plus.
Conversation is limited, and Charlie eats single-mindedly. All the fish is gone before he communicates in anything other than grunts.
"So, I thought you two were friends," he says, leaning back in his chair and scowling at Edward.
"We are," I say quickly, really not fucking liking where this is going.
"He had his hands all over you." Charlie growls out lowly. Whoa. The protective dad routine is a little weird, and I quell the urge to tell the man that I am more than capable of handling my own shit.
"Yeah…" There is really nothing else to say. Edward looks amused as I turn red.
"So you're dating?" he asks bluntly.
"Yup, sure are." It's Edward's standard answer, and I hope he doesn't believe his own lies.
"Better than that other naked Cullen, I suppose," Charlie mutters.
Edward laughs, and Charlie grins. Things get much better from there, and Charlie even returns from the kitchen with three bottles of beer.
"Figure you kids are pretty damn close to twenty-one," he explains, looking embarrassed. "Just don't tell my deputies."
We laugh and talk and drink. Edward tells Charlie hilarious stories, most of which involve me falling down. Charlie recounts similar tales from my childhood that I don't even remember. I stop at two beers, but Charlie and Edward continue. They are both giggly as it gets dark. I yawn widely.
"Tired, Bella?" Charlie asks.
"Yeah," I admit. "I haven't been sleeping well." I can't glance at Edward because he knows why I can't sleep, and the look on his face will probably make me blush.
"I'm sorry your bed is so old and uncomfortable," Charlie says quietly.
"I've had worse," I joke.
"I'm sure your bed is much more comfortable than months on the Blacks' couch," Edward says with a chuckle.
I nod in agreement before I realize the gravity of what Edward just said.
"What do you mean?" Charlie asks me in confusion.
Oh. Fuck. What the fuck is wrong with him? Charlie doesn't know anything about Renee abandoning me. And at the time, I didn't even think to call him. But we are close now. I know him. He will not take this well at all.
I'm going to murder Edward Cullen.
"I crashed with the Blacks for awhile," I say, trying to sound casual.
"Why?" Charlie's eyes narrow, and he leans forward as he switches into cop mode.
I shrug, not knowing what else to say.
"Bella, where was Renee?" Charlie demands.
"I don't know," I admit quietly.
I kick Edward in the shin and turn my body to glare at him. He has the decency to look horrified.
"Edward," Charlie says sternly. "I think it's time to call it a night. I really need to talk to my daughter. Alone."
Edward looks at me, and I nod, reassuring him that I'll be okay. After standing, he leans down to kiss my lips. I jerk away and he gets my cheek.
"I'll call you tomorrow," he says quietly.
"You fucking better," I mutter, letting him that he is so totally in the goddamn doghouse.
Edward leaves, and I sit in silence with my dad for a while. Charlie's head is buried in his palms.
I absently wonder how Edward got home. He rode here with me. I hope he called his dad and didn't walk. I'm going to be pissed if he gets eaten by a wolf or something.
"Tell me everything," Charlie says finally, fixing me with his interrogation face.
This is not going to be fun.