Disclaimer: I solemnly swear I am not JKR.

Author's Note: Thank you to all my reviewers! It really means a lot me. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. FYI, the story is NOT femmeslash. Minerva and Hermione have more of a mother-daughter relationship. Thanks for reading and leaving a review! Helena

Also, 3/4 view is much better as I tend to cut up the dialogues etc.

Crimes That I Have Done

"Why am I to be pitied, you say? Yes! There's nothing to pity me for! I ought to be crucified, crucified on a cross, not pitied! Crucify me, oh judge, crucify me but pity me?"
- Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment, Ch. 2

Minerva sat on a stool and next to her, on the floor, was seated Hermione with her hand in the hands of her favourite Professor. They stayed completely silent for a few minutes as Minerva tried to find suitable words to describe her past. But she soon realized that describing one's past can be hell of a task. How could one properly choose words to describe happenings and actions that had already taken place? It is indeed an impossible task, the listener would inevitably get a distorted picture. Nevertheless, she sighed and begun…

"I have never been one for love. I have always preferred more practical things. But as it happened, love entered my life unexpectedly and turned it completely upside down." Yes, Hermione had had certain experience with this as well. Truth to say, it was not a very pleasant experience at all at the end."After all, love has a tendency to come most of the times uninvited. And when it comes, you desperately grasp on the sole existence of your loved one, your solid fundamentals seem to evaporate, and your thinking becomes clouded. "

"And that is my greatest sin, Hermione. I dared to love." Hermione looked up at Minerva and saw sadness painted on the face of the older woman. She had that distant gaze that told Hermione she was once again decades back in the history."I dared love the wrong man. Man who tortured, raped, and murdered thousands of innocent humans. I dared love a man who mistaked himself for a God, who overlooked the simple rules of humanism, and who laughed Death in the face."Hermione could not stand her Professor to be lynching herself so. "But it was not you who turned him into such a monster. It was not you who tortured or murdered. You cannot blame yourself for what happened to all those people, because it was not you who voiced the curses."

"Oh Hermione, how wrong you are. I have done all of those things. To the dot."

"And I managed to do all these things with a saintly smile on my lips." Hermione frowned; she could not fathom the words that were coming from her favourite Professor. This was Minerva McGonagall, not some mass murderer! Minerva seemed not to notice the shocked silence that resumed. On the contrary, she seemed not to be present in the cell; she seemed to be miles and decades far away."Tom was unusually talented in the magic. In our 6th year, he became extremely interested in the Dark Arts thanks to our DADA Professor Guillaime Headsbrook. Mr Headsbrook not only told Tom about the Dark Arts, he gave him private lessons. I was against it, but if Tom wanted something, he got it."

"He became obsessed with it and now I know that even in our time at Hogwarts he had started to plan it all. I never questioned his whereabouts, his cuts and bruises; I did not even question his shifts in mood. I was way too head over heels with him. And I saw him for what he really was as a blind person would."

"After graduation we both went on to become Aurors...of course, now I can say that Tom was only pretending to be interested in this career path. We rented a small flat in London. His moodiness became intolerable and we quarrelled almost everyday. I finally started to see his true colours, but it was too late."

"Tom told me one evening about his plans for the New world order, about the Muggleborns, Deatheaters, about the genocide, and also about the Horcruxes. When telling me about these horrible things, he had a completely mad expression in his eyes. He was unstoppable."

"Then he asked me to become his Queen."

"I was sickened and wanted to leave. But Tom would have none of that. By declining, I immediately became a threat to him and his followers- I could never leave his side once again. The next thing I saw was the tip of Tom's wand in my face and a bright blue light coming my way."

"The next six months all hell broke loose. During that half a year I did unimaginable things, Hermione. Things that nobody dared to name out of fear that they might be re-used."

"I was held prisoner first and Tom tried to persuade me to become his Queen. As headstrong as I was, I declined even though I knew it would mean my death. Eventually, he became bored with words and used violence. He and his inferiors tortured me day and night. It was unsustainable."

"With subsequent days I became weaker and weaker, until I was unable to stand without falling to the ground. Tom finally realized that I would never join him and…" Minerva took a deep breath "…. did an unforgivable thing, Hermione."

"It is one thing to persuade a person with words or even cruelty, however it is wholly different thing to persuade a person against his own will. To hold that person captive in his own body."

"Professor, what are you talking about?"

"He casted an ancient spell. So ancient that it can be found only in the oldest volumes known to wizard kind. This spell works as Imperius spell. You however can cast it only once and the person is completely bound to do your bidding. The person is locked in his own body. He sees, hears, and even feels the things that he is committing. But unlike the Imperius curse, he cannot break it with his will power."

"The person who casted the spell is mentally bound to the one it was casted upon and can fully command him."

"Did he do this to you?" Hermione whispered.

"Yes."

"How long did you stay under the Curse?"

"Six months."

"Do you remember what you did during those six months?"

"Yes." Now it was Minerva's turn to whisper. "The horrors, Hermione. Nobody can imagine what he made me do. I screamed and fought against every single order, but it was no use. I wanted to harm myself, but I had no command of my own body. It is the worst prison imaginable, your body. It is surprising, that I did not lose my mind."

Hermione was very reluctant to ask a question that had been burning on her lips since the beginning. She did not want to hurt her Professor, but she needed to know. If she wanted to help Minerva get out of the prison alive, she needed to have all the evidence. And so she gathered her Gryffindor courage and softly spoke the words: "What did he make you do?"

Minerva finally lost that foggy look and gazed at her student. Tears were threatening to fall from the older witch's emerald eyes. The six months that she spent in the complete power of the Dark Lord were the worst moments in her life. How she longed to forget the things that she had done. How she longed to forget the faces of all the people she had tortured. And murdered.

"There is only one way for you to understand, Hermione. You must see it."

"But how?"

"I can show you. Even without my wand I still can perform magic to certain extent. I will show you one memory that very much sums up all six months. It is my worst memory."

Minerva reached out and took Hermione's head in her hands. Hermione shifted her body so that she was kneeling and facing Minerva. Hermione looked straight into Minerva's eyes and her vision became fogged…

So...whatya think? Hit the button, I know you want to! xoxo Helena