A/N: And so we start to turn a corner... Enjoy the weekend all!
You Have to Learn to Crawl Before You Can Walk
U.S.S. Enterprise, 2270.16, 1812 hours. Depression was a tricky beast, one that Nyota'd never been acquainted with before…
…until her beautiful baby boy with the milky white eyes came into her life.
And he was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. Every inch of him was precious, especially when she thought of just how close they came to losing him. But as Selas stabilized and realization of the situation dawned Nyota just could not seem to work herself out of her funk. She grieved for the hardships he'd face in the future and the world he'd never get to see for himself.
"AIEE!"
She glanced dispassionately at the babies lying happily on the blanket on the floor in front of her. Nyota could hear the concern in Chris' voice even as she called in the favor but she was desperate and needed the extra pair of hands. Ever since Jocelyn and Doug's hover accident she and Len had logged more comm time then even some of Nyota's junior officers, always busy contacting lawyers in Georgia or the JAG in San Francisco, and trying to arrange transport for Joanna while settling Jocelyn's estate. All the red tape and stress was wreaking havoc on them and they just needed a few hours without Tabby and Becca underfoot to try and relax and get their house in order.
And after everything they'd done for her and Spock and Selas she couldn't begrudge them that.
Still, it didn't help having the side-by-side comparison thrust under her nose. Chris even went into labor on Selas' due date, November 11th, and while her son was fighting for his life in the NICU her friend went ahead and delivered a healthy little girl.
"OoohAAAA!"
Selas, with his dark hair and brown sugar skin, stood in stark contrast to the strawberry-blond, porcelain-skinned girl, but they got along well. They were of roughly equal size though if Spock were there she was sure he'd say that Selas was the smaller of the two by x percent.
It was very likely he'd always be smaller then his peers.
For the last half hour the babies entertained themselves rolling over from stomach to back and grabbing whatever toys were in reach. She felt the tears start up when she watched Becca lay on her stomach, her emerald eyes darting between two different blocks while Selas lay beside her, content with waving the plushie around in his fist. It was the first and nearest thing he could grab.
While she was thinking this Becca took the block she'd shoved in her mouth and threw it away, watching as it tumbled out of reach. Soon she began to sniffle. Nyota waited and when she realized the little girl wasn't going to settle down she got up to retrieve the toy and head off a tantrum; but as she rose to her feet the most miraculous thing happened.
Her son stiffened as his playmate began to whimper, then dropped his plushie and groped about for her. Reaching Becca's hand he laid his over hers and she too, stilled, her eyes moving toward the longed-for toy. Selas let go and with great determination pushed himself up on all fours, rocking back and forth. He'd done that a few times before but never took it any further. Tonight, however, Nyota watched speechless as he slowly began to crawl.
"SPOCK!" Seconds later he burst through the front door, bags full of dinner dropped haphazardly in the corridor. The older kids came running from down the hall to see what all the commotion was about.
Despite the attention Selas never stopped moving, even when he bumped up against the block; instead he began batting it over in Becca's direction until he heard her laugh again, then settled back down in his spot beside her to play.
Just like that something within Nyota snapped. The…the…the illogicality of her low mood hit her square in the face. People had been telling her that for months but it never seemed more true then in this moment. Selas was here; he was alive and well and—G-d willing—he'd stay that way. It wasn't her fault he was born too soon, it wasn't her fault he was blind. He was going to be fine.
And while not all her fears were laid to rest a great many of them were. She knew her son would likely be teased by the ignorant and picked on by the insecure as he grew older, but he was a S'chn T'gai and the son of an Uhura; he'd be able to stand up for himself and people like that would only make Selas stronger in the end.
She sank back down onto the sofa and held her head in her hands while she cried. Peering out between her fingers she saw Selas holding his plushie and giggling again. Soon she couldn't help but laugh with him as the tears ran down her cheeks.
A small, warm hand pressed against her shoulder blade. Pulling her hands down Nyota saw her older son staring at her in concern. She smiled back at him and pulled him close, enthusiastically pressing a kiss in the middle of his forehead. Her joy was infectious it seemed, as Se'tak smiled with her.
"Hi Mama."
It was some months more before Nyota felt like she'd really beat her depression but the day Selas learned to crawl saw her also start to dig herself out of the dark hole.