Sorry for late chapter. Been working on an original fiction piece.
Three days they had been on the road after leaving Lothering. Another two days and they would be arriving at Redcliffe. Elissa had kept to herself during the trip. She heard the bantering of Morrigan and Alistair, and Leliana and Morrigan. The only person Morrigan didn't seem to banter or provoke was Sten. Alistair and Leliana got along well enough except Alistair was more of a doesn't take things seriously and Leliana was more a religious sort. Elissa could have laughed at how different they were but had the Chantry in common.
Elissa mainly didn't talk to anyone. Except she was growing more and more agitated as the days went on. She could sense something in Alistair. Something dark and it scared her. Each hour she could feel it grow stronger and not only that she could feel the intent of him. When he was in a good mood it vibrated in the darkness. When it felt like someone could be devoured by the darkness Alistair's light shined through. Was this the corruption she found herself wondering?
The night before they were to reach Redcliffe Alistair took first watch. Elissa shrugged and slept outside so she wouldn't wake Leliana when she took second watch. She drifted off to sleep like she did the other nights.
She dreamt about her family. Her family was gathered in the great hall. Oren looked up from his toy and Elissa felt herself draw back. His throat was split open. Elissa looked at her brother and he had a spear through his middle. Each family member she looked at was the walking dead. Then little Oren opened his mouth and blackness came out of it. It surrounded Elissa and overtook her. She felt a scream forming in her throat as the darkness filled up her senses. Then the darkness changed. Elissa felt the corruption. It was angry and terrifying and a hundred times more amplified than what she felt with Alistair.
Out of the dark came a huge dragon. Elissa fell backwards letting out a scream. The dragon looked directly at her and raised its head as if judging her. She felt that it was calling to her. Beckoning her to come to him to join him in the dark. Elissa reached out a hand the offer was tempting. Darkness sounded tempting. Then the dragon roared and breathed out fire above her and Elissa reached for her bow and found it wasn't there. She turned and ran through the dark away from the dragon and his promises.
"Elissa," Alistair shook her shoulder. He watched her struggle in sleep with the nightmare. He knew those nightmares well and had kept a close watch on her the past couple of days because he knew they would come to her soon.
Elissa's eyes snapped open and she reached for her dagger. Alistair moved faster than Elissa. He pinned her arms to the ground and lay on top of her as she bucked against him trying to get free. "Elissa stop it's me!"
Elissa heard the voice but felt the corruption. Her fear increased and she fought against the hold. Then she heard the voice whisper again to her. "It's me, you're safe."
Elissa's eyes focused and she looked up into Alistair's worried face. She saw the fear in his eyes. "Alistair?"
"It's me," he nodded. "You had a nightmare. One of the perks of being a Grey Warden."
"I felt him," Elissa's eyes looked away from Alistair staring up into the dark sky. "I felt him beckon me. He was calling me to him."
"A dragon?" Alistair asked.
"Yes," Elissa nodded licking her lips. Alistair eased up off of her and sat beside her pulling his knees up and resting his forearms against them.
"That would be the archdemon," Alistair stared into the fire.
Elissa sat up beside him and studied his profile. "Do these dreams happen a lot?"
"You get used to them," Alistair nodded. "After a while some can block them out. Others aren't so lucky."
"Are they bad for you?" Elissa asked. She reached for his hand not knowing why just knowing she needed the warmth of another person.
Alistair looked down at their joined hands. He felt her shivering and wished he could offer more than just his useless words.
"They aren't pleasant but they are supposed to be worse for people who join during a Blight," he looked at Elissa. Dark shadows were formed in her blue eyes the echoes of her nightmare still haunting her.
"This is horrible," Elissa whispered. "I can't see that every night I'll go mad."
"I'll be here Elissa," Alistair nudged her.
She took a shaky breath. "I can feel the corruption in you now Alistair. It scares me."
"It scares me too," Alistair admitted.
Elissa sat staring into the fire drawing from Alistair's warmth. "Is there anything else I should know?"
"Besides the nightmares and sensing corruption you mean?" Alistair asked.
"Yes," Elissa looked at him studying him again.
"Well you don't ever have to worry about dying from old age," Alistair breathed out. Not sure what the gentlest way to break that news to her was and he was probably going to mess it up.
"What do you mean?" Elissa frowned.
"The corruption," Alistair looked at her staring into her eyes. "It's a death sentence. We get maybe thirty years before we go insane."
"What makes us go insane?" Elissa asked.
"Those dreams and the way we hear darkspawn it increases as the corruption ages in us. It gets harder for us to resist. So we have the Calling," Alistair said looking back at the fire.
"The Calling?" Elissa shook her head not really understanding any of what was said.
"It's when we go to the Deep Roads and die in battle rather than the alternative with the taint and how it effects our bodies," Alistair explained. "It's tradition really."
"So I'm going to die from this?" Elissa asked.
Alistair looked back at Elissa. "We're all going to die. When Duncan told me I was angry. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'It's not how you die that's important. It's how you live.'"
Elissa sat there numb from the knowledge. This is why she avoided talking to Alistair about the taint. She dreaded more bad news and now she had it.
Alistair sensed the trepidation that filled Elissa through their bond. He could have laughed at calling it that. But better or worse they were tied to each other through the taint. "And you wondered why we keep the Joining a secret from new recruits," he shrugged.
Elissa's grip tightened on Alistair and she felt the tears forming. She thought she was done crying. She knew her old life was over. But now she wondered what kind of life she would have to lead. Was she to be some emotionless woman who killed and killed and forgot who she was? She looked at Alistair he was the brightest light she had seen since getting dragged into the mess. If the taint, the darkness wasn't ruining him she couldn't let it ruin her.
"Don't let me turn into someone I hate," she whispered.
"What?" Alistair frowned.
"Don't let all of this weigh me down. Don't let it turn me into someone bitter and hateful," she shook her head. "You make me laugh Alistair make sure I don't ever lose that ability."
He pulled her into his arms and cradled her against him. He knew this life would be hard for her but hearing her ask him this. He could only do one thing, "I promise as long as we're together in this I won't let you forget how to laugh. Now get some sleep."
"It's my watch you get to sleep," Elissa pulled back. "I can't sleep after that…nightmare."
So Alistair left her reluctantly and climbed into his bedroll going to sleep with the thought of the tears in her eyes and the promise he made to her echoing in his head.
They reached outskirts of Redcliffe before noon. Alistair had been casting looks back at Elissa all morning and she noticed it looked like he had something to tell her. On the hill that overlooked the town of Redcliffe he pulled her away from the group telling them they'd catch up.
"I wanted to talk to you before we reached Redcliffe. There's something I need to tell you I just didn't know how to before now," Alistair sighed and looked everywhere but at Elissa.
"I'm not going to like this am I?" Elissa asked warily.
"I don't know I doubt it. I've ever liked it that's for sure. Did I ever mention how I know Arl Eamon?" Alistair finally looked at Elissa.
She didn't like the serious look in his eyes. "He's not your father is he?"
"No! No…but he raised me because King Maric is my father," Alistair said. "That would make Cailan well my half-brother."
Elissa stared at him in shock. Alistair was royalty. Oh Maker! His secret blew hers out of the water.
"I'm a bastard," Alistair added. "My mother was a serving girl at Redcliffe Castle she died when I was born. Arl Eamon took me in and raised me before I was sent to the chantry."
"Whoa," Elissa said. It wasn't so eloquent of her but it was all that she could force past her lips. Bastards weren't uncommon but a royal bastard when everyone thought Cailan was the last of the Theirins was huge.
"Can you say something else besides whoa?" he asked. "You're making me nervous here looking like that."
"So you're not only a bastard…you're a royal bastard?" Elissa managed to squeak out.
"Yes indeed I am, ha I am going to have to steal that line," Alistair managed a nervous laugh.
"Doesn't that make you the heir to the throne?" Elissa asked.
"Maker's breath I hope not! I don't think so. You don't think so do you? I'm a bastard and nobody even knows about me," Alistair shook his head wanting to deny it as long as possible.
Elissa closed her eyes sadly she did think so. She looked up at him. "I…"
"I would have told you, but it never really meant anything to me. I was inconvenient a possible threat to Cailan's rule and so they kept me secret. I've never talked about it to anyone. Everyone who knew either resented me or coddled me. Even Duncan kept me out of the fighting because of it. I didn't want you to know as long as possible." Alistair studied Elissa. "I'm sorry."
Elissa couldn't really be mad at Alistair since she too was keeping a secret about whom she was. In fact she should tell him. She even went to open her mouth to tell him but all that came out was, "I think I understand."
'Oh good! It's not like I got special treatment for it anyhow. Anyway when Arl Eamon got married the new arlessa resented the rumors that pegged me as the arl's bastard. She made sure that the castle wasn't a home to me at that point. She despised me. So off I went to the nearest monastery at age ten," Alistair explained.
"What an awful thing to do to a child," Elissa whispered. She couldn't imagine doing that even if she married someone who had a bastard.
"Maybe, she felt threatened by my presence I can see that now," Alistair nodded. "I wasn't looking for her to be my new mother. When I was told I was being sent away I shattered the only thing that I had that belonged to my mother. It was an amulet with Andraste's holy symbol on it. I tore it off and threw it at the wall and it shattered. It was a stupid stupid thing to do. Arl Eamon came to check on me a few times but he stopped coming after a while I was stubborn and hated it there. Eventually he stopped making an effort."
"You were young Alistair," Elissa put her hand on his arm. "We all do stupid things when we're young."
"And raised by dogs! Or I might as well have been with how I acted," Alistair laughed. "Anyway I have no hopes of being the next king. If there's an heir of the throne to be had it is Arl Eamon. He's well loved by the people even if he is not of royal blood."
Elissa shook her head. The people would not accept that when a descendant of Calenhad still lived. She saw the hope and fear in Alistair's eyes and decided now was not the time to tell him.
"Anyway can we just go along now and I'll just pretend that you think I'm some nobody who was too lucky to die with the rest of the Grey Wardens?" Alistair asked searching for Elissa's eyes for an answer.
Elissa tilted her head and smirked. "Well then what does that make me?"
"The reason I said I was lucky?" Alistair shrugged and turned and walked away. Elissa stared after him feeling the tug of her heart again. She couldn't shake the growing feelings she was having towards Alistair, her friend Alistair who happened to be a Theirin. She felt like screaming or laughing. She was a Cousland in any other circumstance if he had been raised at court she could have met him. She could have…no she was not going to go down that route. She sighed and walked after him towards a town that seemed too quiet.
They met back up with Morrigan, Leliana, Sten and Lucky all of them looking at the two with curiosity. But only Morrigan voiced her questions to which Alistair gave them the short version of him being a king's bastard. They continued walking down the path towards Redcliffe.
They met a villager on the bridge heading down into the village or across to the castle. "I thought I saw traveler's on the road but I could scarcely believe it! Have you come to help us then?"
"What do you mean help? Is there a problem?" Elissa asked grabbing her bow.
"You mean you haven't heard?" the man asked. "Does no one know what's happening?"
"All we heard was Arl Eamon was sick," Elissa said.
"He could be dead for all we know! No one has heard from the castle in days! We're under attack. Monsters have been coming out of the castle every night and attack us until dawn. Everyone has been fighting and dying!" the man shouted. Elissa heard the terror in his words.
"Apparently everyone agrees the Blight is the perfect time for everyone to start killing each other," Morrigan sighed.
"With no army to defend us, no arl, and no king to send us help so many are dead. Those left are terrified they are next," the man said.
"Hold on what is this evil that's attacking you?" Alistair asked.
"I...I don't rightly know. I'm sorry nobody does. I should take you to Bann Teagan. He's all that's holding us together," the man said.
"Bann Teagan? Arl Eamon's brother he's here?" Alistair asked.
Elissa felt the blood drain from her face. Teagan knew her. She wouldn't be able to hide who she was for much longer and suddenly she wished she had told Alistair. He told her his secret and she was keeping one from him.
"Yes, its not far if you'll come with me," the man said turning leading the way.
Elissa waited until she was the last one standing on the bridge with Lucky. He looked up at her and whined. She took a deep breath. Seeing Teagan was going to be hard. She patted Lucky on the head and forced herself to walk after the others. It seemed she had to face her past and save a village and castle at the same time.