So this is where the BAU hears of Strauss' wicked plan. Yay. I hope you're enjoying it so far:)
I do not own Criminal Minds.
Chapter Two
''Why does Strauss want a meeting with all of us?'' JJ asked. All seven agents of the BAU were gathered in the conference room. Strauss had called them there. She was about to reveal her evil plan to them. But first, she was making them stew. Hopefully there would be accusations and blaming. Oh such fun it was.
But they'd never guess what she had planned. Never in a million years. Their profling skills wouldn't help them in this case. Her plan was so evil, shocking, they would remember it for years after. Anytime they heard the name Erin Strauss they would tremble in fear because they knew what she was capable of. She was going to send them on Harry Bennett's talk show.
Harry Bennett was a local celebrity, famous for having a talk show similiar to that of Jerry Springer. Everyday he had people coming in arguing over children's paternity and who slept with who and yada yada. Surprisingly, Strauss found it quite entertaining. And now the BAU was going to appear on it. She had to congratulate herself on this plan. It was brilliant. She had no idea how clever she actually was.
It was all arranged. They were to appear on tomorrow's show. All Strauss had to do was phone up the show's producer and introduce herself as ''SSA Erin Strauss'' and she had been booked in immediately. Being in the FBI had its perks. Strauss was bubbling with excitement. The BAU would be horrified, airing their dirty laundry on public television. It was genius. Why hadn't she thought of this earlier?
''I don't know JJ, who knows what Strauss is thinking,'' Hotch said in answer to JJ's question.
''I know,'' Rossi spoke up.
The other six agents turned their heads around to the Italian agent who was sitting back in his chair with an amused expression on his face. Rossi couldn't believe they didn't know why. They were profilers for God's sake, children could figure it out.
''You do?'' Garcia asked.
''Well don't keep us in suspense Dave,'' Hotch muttered.
Rossi leane back further in his chair. This was quite entertaining, having this power. He let a small smirk appear on his face as he said ''Nah, I'll let you all figure it out for yourself.''
The other six agents groaned. Damn Rossi for being so stubborn.
''Come on Rossi, this is Strauss we're dealing with. She isn't something to be taken lightly. Don't you think we'd manage better if we were prepared for her?'' Morgan asked.
''Maybe, it wouldn't matter. I know Erin Strauss, she has something diabolical planned. No matter how prepared we are, it won't matter.''
''Do you know what she's planning?'' Emily inquired. She was getting very suspicious of Rossi at the moment.
The smirk Rossi wore from knowing something they didn't disappeared, as he genuinely had no idea what Strauss was planning, and that bothered him. ''No,'' he admitted. ''I have no clue. But it will be bad. Strauss doesn't do anything in halves.'''
''Great, we're going to incur Strauss' wrath and we have no idea why,'' JJ sighed.
''I bet it's Morgan's fault,'' Emily remarked.
''Hey why are you blaming me?'' Morgan asked, clearly offended. His voice rose and he turned and stared at Emily with a glare Hotch would approve of.
''I don't know, you seem to mess everything up,'' Emily answered.
''I did nothing here! And us breaking up wasn't my fault either!'' Morgan shouted.
''It wasn't?'' Emily asked sarcastically.
''It wasn't! You had a part in it too! You got all angry and pissed off at everything, you were unbearable to be with! We started having fights over nothing!''
''Derek, the rent is not nothing! You were staying at my place all the time, you used my shower, you used my stove, you used my toilet, you used my electricity, the least you could do is chip in a bit!''
''I wasn't living with you!'' Morgan raged. The vein in his forehead that was visible whenever he got mad was showing, and his nostrils were flaring.
''Your name wasn't on the rent agreement but you were staying at my place EVERY night! You were as good as living with me!''
''I don't see why I ever did that now! You turned into some crazy bitch! You got mad over EVERYTHING! The other day is a perfect example, I just put my pen on your desk by accident and you totally flip!''
''It was just another example of you using me Derek. You used my apartment to house your clothes, all your stuff, I even did your laundry for you! That pen was just showing that you take me for granted. You think I'll look after you and mind everything for you. Reality check Derek, I'M NOT YOUR MOM!''
''Prentiss, calm down,'' Hotch ordered. The severity of his glare silenced her.
''Hey Hotch she's got a point. Morgan was using her, she's got every right to be angry,'' added JJ.
''Thank you JJ,'' Emily said.
''JJ how many times have we been over this? Morgan and Prentiss' issues are not our business.''
''I'm just on her side, I'm defending her and you're contradicting me? Why are you on Morgan's side anyway?'' JJ asked, her voice gradually getting louder as she got angrier.
''I see what he's talking about. Prentiss got mad over nothing.''
''It was not nothing! He was using her Aaron, USING HER. He took her for granted, thought she would clean everything up for him. She's perfectly entitled to be mad!''
''She's a woman, women are meant to clean.''
''OH YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE!'' Emily and JJ shouted simultaneously. They both shot daggers at Hotch, who didn't think he said anything wrong. He was just stating a fact.
''Guys stop!'' Garcia cried as she burst into tears. ''I hate all this fighting!''
''Hey it's ok Penelope,'' Reid said gently, placing a hand on her knee. Garcia flung herself into Reid's arms and he carefully placed his arms around her as he tried to soothe her.
''Hey get your hands off her! You're the reason she's crying all the time!'' Morgan shouted at Reid.
''Oh and you have no hand in it of course. You shooting your mouth off and acting like a pig to Emily isn't affecting her at all,'' Reid bit back, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he rubbed circles on Garcia's back.
''What's going on between Emily and I is none of your business Reid! You have your own dilemma, why don't you focus on that?''
''I would, if you didn't go ape at me every time I touch Penelope!''
''You know what you did to her! You turned her into an emotional wreck!''
''Why don't you focus on your own relationship instead of meddling in other people's affairs Morgan?''
''Reid, I swear to God, one more word out of your-''
''STOP!'' Rossi shouted. Morgan shut up, Garcia stopped crying and they all turned to face Rossi. ''This, this is why Strauss wants to talk to us. You think she hasn't noticed you fighting? Of course she has. This is wonderful for her, do you have any idea how much she's enjoying you all tear this team apart? That's all she wanted, and she didn't even have anything to do with it. She watched you all fall apart while she sat back and watched. Strauss could separate us because all of you are being so stupid!''
The rest of the team sat in complete silence. It was true, they had all been stupid. And now they had to fear whatever Strauss had coming to them. And knowing Strauss, it wouldn't be good.
''Bravo David, you figured out why I called you in here,'' Strauss remarked as she walked into the conference room. She walked around the round table and took a seat at the top of it. ''Sadly I only heard the last bit of your touching speech, so I still don't know why you're fighting. But I will know.''
''What are you talking about?'' Hotch asked.
''Patience Aaron, patience. All leaders need patience, another reason why you shouldn't go up higher in the chain of command.'' Strauss sit back with a smirk on her face. She was enjoying it.
''What do you have planned Erin?'' Rossi asked.
Strauss' smirk grew wider as she looked at each member of the BAU individually. She saw fear on Agent Reid's face, pain on TA Garcia's face, confusion on Agent Jareau's face, annoyance on Agent Prentiss' face, anger on Agent Morgan's face, defiance on Agent Rossi's face, and an unreadable stare on Agent Hotchner's face. She held her dramatic pause for a few seconds more before speaking. ''I've decided to teach you all a lesson. Your fighting caused you to arrest the wrong suspect on your last case. That won't stand. I thought about what would be the best way to punish you for a while, before coming up with this genius plan.''
She paused dramatically again, as everyone's expressions turned on to one of confusion. ''I've booked all of you to appear on the Harry Bennett show tomorrow.''
''WHAT?'' was mostly what she heard, but in all the protests and shouting she could have sworn she heard Agent Reid ask TA Garcia who Harry Bennett was. Clueless boy. Everyone knew who Harry Bennett was.
''SILENCE!'' Strauss shouted, holding up her hand. The room fell silent.
''Don't you think this is a bit...extreme?'' Hotch asked.
''No, I think it's a fitting punishment. You're all scheduled to appear on the show tomorrow, be at the studio at eleven. You will not leave any detail out. You are going to sort out your differences. On live televison.''
Strauss stood up and left the room, leaving all seven agents staring at the space she occupied just a few seconds earlier.
''That bitch!'' Morgan swore once Strauss was out of earshot.
''Can someone please tell me who Harry Bennett is?'' Reid asked.
''Reid do you watch television? Wait, stupid question, of course you don't. Harry Bennett has a TV show like Jerry Springer, except it's based in DC. Do you know who Jerry Springer is?'' JJ explained for him.
''Yes, I'm not that stupid.''
''Well Harry Bennett is exactly like him. Except his shows are famous for being more...vulgar than Jerry Springer's show.''
''What do you mean?''
''Well there's been fights, nudity, language-''
''Wait, did you say nudity?''
''Yeah, there's been occasional nudity.''
''Why do you think I watch it?'' Morgan laughed. Emily shot a death glare at him and he shut up.
''Jerry Springer's show is bad, but this is worse. He'll allow almost anything,'' JJ said.
''Oh. And we have to go on that?''
''Yep.''
''Credit the evil mind of Erin Strauss,'' Rossi remarked. The members of the BAU shared a worried glance with each other before Hotch sent them home. The more prepared they were for this, the better.
You're still probably confused as to why they're fighting, but you shall find out in the next chapter!