She turned the letter over in her hands several times, it was definitely William's writing but why had he written, especially by hand, it wasn't like him. For some reason it made her feel tense and, if she admitted it, a little excited. She couldn't help scanning the morgue to confirm she was alone even though she knew it to be so. Quickly she flipped over the envelope, opened it hurriedly and pulled out the letter, there was a card of sorts too but she left that in the envelope for now which she discarded on the desk, eyes scanning the first line. 'Dear Subconscious', She felt a kick of adrenaline accompanied by a sick feeling erupting in her stomach. Dear God, surely he couldn't know, how could he possibly know? She read on and the sick feeling intensified, he did know, he referred to the 'letter' she'd written to herself as if she hadn't sat and watched it burn.

She felt on the verge of panic but if he'd read it and replied she had to know what he'd written. What would he think of her, she felt her cheeks burn at the memory of her words, the confession of her desires?

She looked around again, definitely alone, and read on. Her eyes began to well up and a lump blocked her throat, by the time she'd read the words 'I love you' for the third time she was blinking back tears. Fumbling with the envelope, her hands shaking, she pulled out the proposal the letter had promised. Scanning it the tears began to flow freely down her cheeks; her breathing came in shuddering sobs. How could this be? It didn't make sense? Her mind was reeling, she felt almost hysterical. She blotted at her eyes with her handkerchief and took several deep breaths, this would never do she thought, he always did stretch her control to breaking.

She read the letter again, so now she owned the truth, she repeated it to herself, so this was real, he loved her and wanted to marry her. Such an emotional confession was so unlike him but then her letter had no doubt shocked him. This brought her mind back to her letter, just how had he come to read it, she'd definitely burned it… Then all at once it struck her; she jumped up and pulled open the cabinet flicking through until she found the report from their last case. Tilting it to the light she saw it, an imprint of that secret letter. No wonder he'd been acting strangely when she'd come to his office. Ruby would no doubt find the whole scenario hilarious, Julia cringed slightly to herself. The only thing she wanted now though was to see him but how to go about it; she didn't really think it was a conversation for the station house. She couldn't help remember the time Constable Higgins had interrupted their kissing, she honestly thought if she flushed any more today her head might burst from all the blood rush.

Just then two constables baring a stretcher came crashing through the doors of the morgue. A new case, she felt a little guilty for the happiness she felt but now he'd come to her for sure.

She was right of course, barely two hours later she heard a tentative call, "Doctor?" William's voice preceded him into the room. She quickly moved to the sink to wash her hands of the blood and gore from the autopsy she'd begun. "Ah I see you've made a start Julia" his words came to her back, she could hear a slight discomfort in his voice, no doubt he was anxious to find out her reaction to his letter. She was thinking of what to say as she turned to meet him but as their eyes met no words came to her mouth. She'd forgotten how much she loved his dark chocolate eyes. Their eyes remained locked as he hurried to close the distance between them. Their hands reaching out subconsciously for each other, it was the first time they'd touched in months and it was almost too much to bear. "William, I just don't understand, why didn't you tell me any of this before?"

He cleared his throat, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her "Well I planned too, I came to the station, but I'd missed you."

"There are other trains to Buffalo William, why didn't you follow me?"

"I thought perhaps it was for the best, that it was your decision, that you wanted to leave and that maybe you'd be happier" His voice trailed off.

"For the best?" the confusion and vexation were cast clearly in her features, "William Murdoch, for a smart man you are an idiot sometimes. I wanted you to stop me, to tell me to stay, to tell me you wanted me to stay. I waited for you, waited for you to say something, but you never came and you never asked me to come back."

Realisation seemed to dawn on him finally, "I am the greatest fool" he pulled her closer into a tight embrace "but Julia now you have my proposal, please tell me it's not too late?"

At this proximity she was finding it impossible to look away from his mouth, she licked her lips nervously, "William..." she began at a whisper but he was already leaning in to kiss her when constable Crabtree came clattering through the morgue doors and caused them to spring apart.

Realising he'd entered at an awkward moment George spun on his heal and began examining the wall as if he expected to find something fascinating there. Julia moved back to the table to continue her autopsy keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the dead man. "You have news Crabtree?" Murdoch tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

"Eh, yes Sir. We've caught that young ragamuffin; Higgins has him down at the station as we speak." Crabtree still refused to meet Murdoch's eye.

"Thank you Constable." William made his way to join George so they could interrogate the witness.

"I should have a report for you by this evening Detective" Julia called.

He turned back offering her a small smile "Thank you Doctor." He tipped his hat and then left.

Julia took a deep breath, their brief encounter had been tantalizing but she could feel a tear in her heart. As much as she wanted this, and all that a proper relationship with William promised, she had to think of Darcy too. Nothing that happened next would be easy she knew. Sighing, she put the whole thing out of her mind and set to work on completing her examination and writing her report.

It was nearly six o'clock by the time she'd finished and there was nothing left to put off the inevitable. She pulled her coat on, leaving the report on her desk and headed out of the morgue. She had to speak to Darcy before she saw William again because when she was with him she seemed to lose her sense of control and propriety and she couldn't bear the thought of going behind Darcy's back.

Arriving at Darcy's house she paused before knocking, trying to gather her strength she prayed she was doing the right thing. Things hadn't always been perfect between her and William but there was something truly inexplicable about him, she couldn't escape the feeling that they belonged together as logically as north and south or night and day. She was admitted to the house and directed through to the library where she found Darcy sat reading. "Good book?" She offered feebly.

Looking up a bright smile spread across his face at the sight of her. "Hello" discarding the book he crossed the room to embrace her "How was your day darling?" He placed a small kiss on her forehead.

She moved away uneasily, "it was ok. To be honest Darcy I've come here to talk." The serious tone of her voice caused his smile to disappear.

"Is everything alright Julia?" his face was full of concern and it was breaking her heart.

"There isn't an easy way to say this Darcy" He was reaching for her hands but she pulled them back and his face was changing from concern to confusion. "I have to break our engagement."

"What?" He was so shocked he couldn't even formulate a proper question.

"I'm sorry Darcy, you're a wonderful man and this isn't your fault." She was fighting to keep her voice strong.

He was reaching for her out of desperation "then why Julia? I love you."

"Because I just don't love you enough, you deserve much better." She didn't want to bring William into this; it would just make everything harder.

"I don't care what you think I deserve, I want you." She couldn't help thinking this was how she'd wanted William to react when she'd said she was leaving for Buffalo, if he had they wouldn't be in all this mess.

"Darcy you'll find someone else to love, someone who truly loves you in return, someone who deserves your dedication."

"But…" He struggled to find words to change what was happening.

"Goodbye Darcy" she embraced him and then turned to go leaving him dumb struck.

He stood staring at the empty space his fiancée had occupied moments before. 'No' he thought to himself 'that can't be it' and he hurried from the house to follow her.

Julia was beside herself as she hurried from the house into the cool evening air. She tried to reassure herself this was all for the best. All she wanted now was to see William; she knew she'd feel better in his arms. She made her way back across town to the station house but it turned out Murdoch had just left for the morgue to collect the report. She hoped she could catch him there because she didn't cherish the thought of explaining to Mrs Kitchen that she wanted to speak with him.

William was standing at Julia's desk the report in his hands. She'd obviously left for the night so he should just take the report and go but he couldn't help hesitating in disappointment. Even when she wasn't here the ghost of her was all about him and it was hard to leave. Just then he heard the door open and Julia swept in. His heart skipped and he stepped forward so she could see him. "I just came to get that report you mentioned." He said but the words were meaningless as their eyes met again and they ran to each other.

"Is that all?" she asked raising an eyebrow as he pulled her close.

"Well not really, it was just a ruse for this" he said claiming her mouth at last. She sighed against his lips and squeezed him tightly. It had been so long since their last kiss and yet it felt as familiar as if it'd been yesterday. Neither of them moved to break the kiss, both lost in a timeless place where nothing mattered but each other.

The sound of the door opening broke them apart again but this time it wasn't Crabtree, it was Darcy and he had no intention of looking away. "Oh," said Darcy his voice cold as stone "so this is the truth."

TBC…