A/N: Chapter 6 so soon after posting chapter 5! Apparently being away from home gets my creative juices flowing, but I'm going back tomorrow, so don't be surprised if my updates aren't quite as frequent, although I do have a lot of idea for this.
Also, I've changed the summary, if you hadn't noticed. I didn't like the last one much.
Read, review if you want, and I hope you enjoy! xx
Tori's POV.
"I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chap stick"
"Ug, Trina! Can you turn that off, please!" I called over the sound of the radio and my sister's obnoxious singing. "Trina!" When she didn't react, I reached forward myself to shut off the car stereo and stop the song that was usually one of my favourites, but right now it felt like it was mocking me.
"Aw!" Trina whined once she'd shut up long enough to realise there was nothing to sing along to anymore. "But I thought you loved Katy Perry!"
"I do. I- I just have a headache." I sighed.
It was true, I did have a headache after a restless night trying not to think about the only thing I could think about. That kiss haunted my mind every time I closed my eyes and the worst part was: I liked it. I kissed a girl and I liked it… and that girl was Jade West. I knew all along that my feelings for Jade were different to that of the others in our little group, I was always so determined to be accepted by her and liked by her no matter what she said or what she did to me. I thought it was just because I didn't want anyone to hate me and that she was friends with all of my friends, so why couldn't we get along? I never quite knew why I needed her friendship so bad, but now I realise that it wasn't friendship I wanted. That kiss, it was like the final piece of a 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle falling into place and the reason why I needed Jade's approval made sense: I had a crush on Jade West.
I came to that conclusion at 4 in the morning, hours and hours after the kiss had taken place. I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling littered with tons of glow in the dark stars, kind of like my locker at school, replaying the kiss in my mind and after filtering through so many other implausible reasons as to why my stomach felt like it would explode with butterflies when her lips met mine, that was the only one that made any logical sense.
"Tori!" Trina's voice yelled, snapping me back to reality. I turned to see my sister had parked the car and was already out of the door, looking back at me with an annoyed expression. "We're here. So are you going to come to school or hang around in the car all day? Because I'd happily lock you in here, if you want, but I'm taking the keys."
"I'm coming." I said, slipping out of the passenger side door and slamming the thing too. Now Trina seemed satisfied and she almost skipped off towards the school while chattering on about how she'd managed to convince Beck to stage kiss her twice last night 'In practice for the play.' Poor guy. Part of me wanted to ask if we could swap partners, so I worked with him and Trina with Jade, just so I could forget these feelings I'd gained since last night, but I knew Sikowitz wouldn't let us. Not to mention, a huge, newly discovered, part of me wanted to continue with the project just as an excuse to kiss Jade again. It was a terrible thought, using school work as an excuse for my own selfish pleasure, but I couldn't help it.
"Ah! So you are alive!" a voice said, breaking into my train of thought that had once again led back to the kiss. I jumped in surprise and turned to find Beck leaning against a locker, smirking slightly at my reaction. I didn't even remember walking to my locker, but, alas, I was currently trying to jam my history book into the small, metal compartment, with no luck.
"Huh?"
"Well, Jade obviously didn't kill you last night." He smiled, running a hand though his hair as always. "But, you do look like the living dead. Everything okay?"
"Thanks." I replied sarcastically, finally succeeding in getting the book back into its place. "And I'm fine, just didn't sleep too well last night."
"Oh yeah, how come?"
Before I could reply, the reason behind my sleepless night came sauntering up to where Beck and I stood. She flashed me a smirk then cupped her boyfriend's cheek, pulling him down into a kiss that caught him off guard, but didn't stop his enthusiastic response. I cringed, suddenly hating the sight of seeing the couple kiss, even though I had seen it many times before. There was a small, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that I could only equate to jealousy, and I wished I didn't feel it. I turned back to my locker, making sure everything was where it should be, and then slammed it closed a little harder than I normally would have.
"Well, good morning to you too." Beck grinned down at his girlfriend after they broke apart at the sound of the mental clanging shut.
"Morning, babe." Jade smiled at him before looking back to me. "You look like shit, Vega."
"Thanks." I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to deal with this right now. As much as I'd been able to figure out last night, there was still so much I was confused about. Like, what was I going to do about it? It was obvious that Jade didn't like me that way, or at all, really, so there was no chance of that ever happening. I could only hope that once this play thing was over, these thoughts and feelings would be over with too. 'Till then, I'd just have to cope with whatever this was I was feeling, even if it made me want to vomit at the sight of them together.
"We better get to class." I muttered as the bell rang. I turned on my heel and almost ran in the direction of where my next class would be, trying to get as far away from the happy couple as I could.
Xxx
I'm not sure if it was just me, but I couldn't help but notice today that Jade was all over Beck. I mean all over: legs draped across his, arms around his neck, kissing him every chance she got… the whole scene was making it very difficult for me to keep my pizza down as I sat slowly chewing it during lunch. Cat sat beside Jade, giggling a story to Eli, her partner for this stage kissing thing, and the lovesick look he was giving her- that Cat was totally oblivious to- wasn't helping my situation. So I turn my attention to a grumpy looking Andre, who was still yet to figure out what to do about his lack of partner, and Robbie.
"How's your project going then, Robbie?" I asked.
He groaned loudly and Rex gave a shout of laughter that caught the attention of everyone at the table.
"I don't want to talk about it." Robbie muttered.
"I don't want to think about it." Rex shuddered. "Seeing girl pants here try to locking lips that geek, Sinjin, makes me want to throw up the burrito I just ate."
"Shut up!" Robbie whined, covering Rex's mouth with his hand while the rest of us laughed at his misfortune. I almost offered to swap partners with him, but thought better of it: I'd much rather suffer through whatever this was I was having to deal with that have to kiss Sinjin Van Cleef in front of a crowd of people. Besides, Jade would probably kill me if she got stuck with Robbie. Maybe I could convince Sinjin to swap; I knew how much he wanted to get a kiss from Jade.
"I still don't know what to do about my partner." Andre said, popping a tatter tot into his mouth before continuing. "Sikowitz says I have to get in touch with her, but she isn't even in this state anymore! And apparently I can't use a mannequin because it's not a human being."
He squashed his last remaining tatter tot with his hand in annoyance.
"Maybe you can get someone else in the school to do it" I suggested, almost choking as I tried to keep my eyes off Jade, who had taken the opportunity to pull Beck into another kiss. "I bet Sikowitz wouldn't even notice."
"I 'spose." Andre said. "But who?"
"How about Vega there?" Jade managed to take her mouth away from her boyfriends long enough to spit this out, staring and pointing at me as she spoke. "I bet she's more than willing to go around 'stage' kissing every one in this school."
"Oh yeah, sure, I'd just love that." I said acidly, throwing my half eaten pizza slice back into the little plastic tray. The tension at the table increased tenfold as Jade fixed me with a glare, although it felt more like she was staring straight through me, rather than at me. The already present ball of butterflies in my stomach turned into a tornado at the look and I was too afraid to say anymore in case they spilled out of my open mouth.
Jade slipped her legs from where they'd been resting against Beck's, grabbing his hand as she got to her feet. "Come on babe, I don't want to be around these people anymore." then stormed off without so much of a glance back at the table.
"What crawled up her ass and died!" Andre said, once Jade was out of ear shot.
Beck, who had managed to hang behind for a second, chuckled, then gave an apologetic look as he directed his next words to me. "Sorry about her. She's just cranky because she says she didn't get much sleep last night either."
I nodded and mumbled an "It's alright" while my tired mind clicked into action. Was Jade up half the night thinking about the same thing I'd been thinking about? Did she feel it too, the spark between us when we kissed? No, this was Jade. It was nothing but a stage kiss to her. Yet, for me, it was a sickening realisation to something I'd rather not know. I pushed my pizza away and lay my head on the table, muttering an excuse about being tired when Robbie asked what was wrong.
"Isn't Jade going to yours tonight to work on this play, Tori?" Cat suddenly piped up, looking at me curiously.
I groaned in response. Honestly, I'd kind of been looking forward to working more on the play tonight as we'd been doing so well so far, but if Jade was going to be like this the entire time, then I'd rather throw myself under a bus than have to deal with her and whatever issues I had to work out involving her.
"I'm sure it'll be okay." Cat grinned, sliding into the seat beside me, leaving a lost looking Eli to listen to Robbie instead. She patted my back and gave me a smile, leaning in close to whisper in my ear. "It may even go better than you think."
My head shot up at her words, and I looked at her wide eyed with confusion. Did Cat know? She couldn't have figured it out that fast, could she? I'd only just figured it out myself!
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, turning one of Cat's infamous phrases back on her.
She just giggled and tapped my nose affectionately just as the bell went, signalling us to go to our next class.
Xxx
The rest of the day went by in a blur of sleep deprivation and nausea. Whenever I saw Jade she was clinging to Beck like a monkey would to a branch, and I absolutely hated the feeling I got at the sight. Cat kept giving me odd looks through out the day, smiling hugely at me when she caught my attention, occasionally glancing in the direction of a certain tattooed girl if she were near at the time. It was getting annoying, and by the time our final lesson, Sikowitz's, came around, I was refusing to look at either Jade or Cat, which worked out well when the lesson consisted of nothing but random drive by acting challenges that the acting teacher would call out.
But now I sat on the sofa in my living room, anxiously awaiting the arrival of Beck and Jade while Trina sat beside me, smothering her lips in a thick coat of 'blueberry blast' lip gloss.
"What!" She asked defensively when I raised an eyebrow at her. "I want Beck to have a nice taste in his mouth after having his lips wrapped around Jade all day!"
"Gross, Trine." I cringed, but didn't feel as sorry for Beck as I would've done before. It was a petty jealously, but there all the same, eating away at me along with those darn butterflies.
The doorbell rang and Trina waved at hand dismissively in it's direction, too busy staring at her reflection in her hand held mirror, leaving me to let the couple who had just arrived in.
"So, same as we did last night?" Beck asked, easing himself into a chair, letting Jade throw herself into his lap. "Me and Trina down here while you two work upstairs? Or would you rather be dragged off to Jade's place again?"
He chuckled at me and I gulped a little. "I'm- I'm fine with working here, if that's okay with you, Jade?"
"Whatever." The dark haired girl shrugged, giving her boyfriend a long kiss before shifting from his lap. "I'll see you in a bit, babe."
Beck saluted then moved around to sit next to Trina, who already had her lips puckered as if expecting him to kiss her right this second. I rolled my eyes at my sisters' idiocy, following Jade, who was already two steps ahead of me, up to my room, closing the door quietly behind me once we got there.
"So." I said awkwardly.
Jade dropped herself into my desk chair like before, pulling out our script ideas notebook from her bag. I swayed back and forth on the balls of my feet, waiting for Jade to say or do something before I stupidly blurted out that we should practice the kissing scene again, because that was all my head was telling me to do right now.
Now that it was just Jade and I alone, my room felt a lot smaller than usual, and no matter how far back I tried to stay from her, it was always too close. I didn't want her to find out about these silly little feelings I had, so if I stayed away, maybe they'd stay away too. It was easier said that done, and I almost jumped out of my skin when Jade suddenly span around to face me, her eyes focused on a spot just over my shoulder. I would've turned to look at whatever she had seen, but my feet felt rooted to the floor and I could barely move a muscle.
"There's not much to do." She said in a bored tone, examining her fingernails. "We've sorted out the script, Sikowitz hinted that we could get extra credit for little props and costumes and stuff, but there's not much we can sort out while we're trapped here." She drummed her fingers on my desk, frowning a little. "The only thing we can do really is practice some more."
All I could do was nod as my heart jumped to my throat, leaving me to almost choke on it. Jade raised a thin brow at my reaction, but seemed to brush it off, probably thinking it was the same nerves I'd suffered the previous night. I wasn't sure what I felt. Nerves, yes. Maybe a little excitement. I stepped forward into the middle of the room, thinking about all the possible outcomes when we got to the kiss. Would I let my nerves get the better of me and chicken out again, or would I get carried away? God, I hope I didn't get carried away, Jade would kill me if she found out my feelings. Why did I have to feel this way? Why!
"Vega!"
Jade's snappy tone brought me back to the present. She was stood right in front of me, arms folded over her chest, a foot tapping impatiently on the floor.
"I said, are you ready to start?"
"Uh." I scrabbled to grab the piece of paper she'd trust at me, containing our lines. "Sure, ready when you are!"
She groaned, rolling her eyes, before stepping easily into character.
We practiced the scene through perfectly, I was almost jealous of Jades flawless performance. The closer we got to the ending, the more excited and nervous butterflies invaded my stomach and I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it or not, but if I chickened out again, Jade would probably find a very inventive way to hurt me. I couldn't take my eyes off her soft, pale lips as she spoke her final lines and found myself taking a step forward before she had, wanting to hold her hands and do this now, but she held up a hand to stop me, giving me an almost angry look of confusion.
"Vega, what are you doing?" She growled.
"I uh… I-" What was I supposed to say? 'Jade, I just really want to kiss you'? I don't think that would go down to well.
"My character is meant to step forward and initiate this, not yours." She glared at me and I looked away, not wanting her to see the blush covering my cheeks. Way to make yourself totally obvious, Tori.
"Yeah, sorry. I- I just wanted to get this over with." I said in a quiet voice, rubbing my arm awkwardly.
"Yeah, well you've ruined it now." She rolled her eyes again and grabbed her bag that she'd dumped on my floor as she checked her phone. "Don't screw up next time."
"Wait, where are you going?" I almost rushed forward to stop her leaving my room, cutting in front of Jade as she reached out to grab my door handle. Was that too desperate? That was too desperate, wasn't it? I need to work of my subtlety.
"Home." She said simply, pushing past me to get out. "Dad said I've got to be back early, so I'm off."
She stormed down the stairs, said her goodbyes to Trina and a confused looking Beck and left without another word. Beck turned to me with a questioning look.
"What was that about?" He asked.
I shrugged. "She just said she had to go home."
We heard Jade's car roar to life then speed away from my house, leaving us all to stare at the door in silence before turning back to each other, Beck's eyebrows creased in confusion.
"Well, there goes my ride home."
Xxx
Trina ended up taking Beck back to his place not long after Jade upped and left. I spent another restless night, tossing and turning in my bed, trying to figure out what happened to make her disappear so fast. Did I scare her off? Was I being too obvious about these silly little feelings I'd gained for her? I didn't even know what I truly felt; maybe I was just over reacting to the kiss, reading too much into something that was only for a play, all pretend, nothing more. But I felt something there, and I'm sure Jade did too; by the way she reacted afterwards.
I didn't know what to think anymore, this was all happening too fast. Who knew that a little stage kiss from the girl who hated me who make me feel this way? It was nothing like when I had kissed Beck to annoy Jade that day at Hollywood Arts, it wasn't even anything like when I had kissed any of my boyfriends, just thinking back to it made my legs turn to jelly, my insides squirm and my heart pound with emotions I just couldn't explain. I hated it and loved it, needed it and wanted to push it away at the same time. The only thing I knew for sure was whatever these feelings resulted in, it wouldn't be good.