Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Thoughts

"Speech"

Chapter 14

Atem paced around his room while he waited for Yugi. How could I leave him there? Why did I take him there in the first place? Because you're obviously a genius, Atem! Great. I'm being sarcastic with myself. You're going crazy Atem! CRAAZY! Shut up! Stop thinking like that! Yugi's not here! Think about that! He should be here; he usually follows you… Maybe that's a problem. He doesn't want to follow anymore. He's a person too, so treat him like one instead of your slave and toy and don't argue; we both know that's exactly what you are doing. But still, what could he be doing?

Atem gripped his hair. That's it. I'm going to find him.

The door to Atem's room opened and Yugi stepped in. He looked at Atem surprised.

"You're not sleeping yet," he asked with a raised eyebrow. Atem shook his and let out a shaky breath. Yugi walked up to him with a small smile and took him hand. He kissed the palm while watching Atem. "What's wrong," he asked.

Atem shrugged. "I was worried about you when you weren't here. Where'd you go?"

Yugi waved a hand. "Your father wanted a chat. But that's not all," Yugi stated looking deep into crimson.

"Sorry," Atem said. At Yugi's questioning expression Atem continued. "I'm sorry I took you there. I'm sorry they had to discuss that subject now. I'm sorry that-"

Yugi placed a finger on Atem's lips. "Sorry that we have to end so quickly," he asked as if he asked if Atem found spiders disgusting.

Atem's eyes widened and he shook his head, stepping back. "No never. I never want to have to give you up. I nearly lost you so many times, to let you go when I know we could be…something wonderful, it breaks my heart to think my father wants me to consider a bride now. I can't, I won't give you up," Atem finished as he gathered Yugi in for a hug. Yugi hugged him back and tried not to cry. This was not the way it was meant to be.

Atem kissed him and held him for a few more minutes. Yugi smiled into his "twin's" chest. Then he looked up. "So what does milord wish for his birthday?"

Atem was taken aback. He almost forgot again that today was his birthday, but hearing those words come out of Yugi's mouth made his face split into a grin.

"I think I can think of something," Atem replied. Yugi rolled his eyes and met Atem's lips once again.

The morning seeped through the window and woke up the two individuals in the bed. Yugi looked down at Atem. "Wake up, milord," he whispered in Atem's ear.

"Mh. Can I sleep a little longer," Atem asked in a muffled voice and pulled Yugi closer. Yugi giggled and left the bed, ignoring Atem's sound of protest. The prince glared at Yugi. "It's colder now. Please come back." Yugi rolled his eyes and threw a robe to Atem.

"I can't. I have work to do and you have duties to attend to. So get up before Mana or your father walks in and drags you out of bed." Atem growled.

"Fine, but I want to see you later, understood?" Yugi giggled but nodded and Atem left. Once he was gone, the smile on Yugi's face disappeared. Was any of it real?

"Father, I'm here," Atem called as he stuck his head into the throne room. Aknamkanon motioned him inside and Atem took his place on his father's right. Mana sat beside him.

"Do you remember the conversation we had yesterday afternoon, my son," Aknamkanon. Atem nodded. "Well, last night's discussion was a continuation of that. The sooner we get through this, the sooner you can breathe. Now, I am told the delegates have chosen who would be the better candidates, and Mana has always been a chosen one." Atem and Mana gasped and looked at each other. Then they started laughing.

Atem took a breath and then his father's words registered in his mind. He looked at his father, frowning. "What do you mean they chose their candidates? I don't think I gave them enough information for them to decide already."

Aknamkanon smiled. "No you didn't, but someone else did," he replied. Atem looked at him curiously.

"My Pharaoh," a small familiar voice called from the end of the room. "You wished to see me today?" Atem turned around as Mana gasped. Yugi stood in the entry of the throne room.

"Yes, Yugi. Come here," Aknamkanon told the boy. Yugi bowed and walked forward. When the king motioned him to take a seat beside him, Yugi hesitated in his steps and looked at Atem who was still bewildered that Yugi was here.

Before he could stop himself Atem blurted out, "What are you doing here Yugi?" He regretted his words immediately, not for the fact everyone was staring at him, but because the amethyst gaze he was fixed upon held hurt in it. He asked himself the same question that was written in those eyes. Why did I ask that like I didn't want him to be here? I want Yugi to be with me always… Don't I?

"Sorry, my Prince," a cold voice answered Atem. "Your father asked me to come here." Yugi sat and didn't look at Atem again, but he threw a smile at Mana before turning to the Pharaoh. "Why am I here, milord," he asked.

Aknamkanon smiled. "The advice you gave us last night was indeed helpful, Yugi. They had hundreds that could be a potential queen, we all know Atem didn't help with preferences. But, because of you, they were able to lower that number down considerably."

Atem threw a glance at Yugi before frowning. "How much is considerable," he asked his father. Aknamkanon looked at the delegates who rechecked their notes and nodded.

"Less than fifty for each kingdom, and several noble households had to make their leave." Aknamkanon looked at Yugi once more. "Was there anything to add," he asked. Yugi looked at Mana, who thought for a while before shrugging, a sign that told him "You know him better than I do."

Yugi sighed. "Well, he likes to play Senet, but is a poor player. He is considerate of people and will treat a commoner like family if they need the help. Atem also-"

Atem watched in wonder as Yugi spoke. He didn't know these things about him himself, and yet here was Yugi, talking about him like he was reading a book. Well, duh, Atem's inner voice told him. He's been your best friend for how many years and you're only thinking about this now? Hellooo! Yugi can read any of you like a book. Why do you think he always knows what to say and when and why, hmm? Now pay attention, he's almost done! Atem snapped put of his thoughts when the last words came out of Yugi's mouth.

"-Neath him," Yugi finished. A few minutes went past since he started talking and the delegates were still writing. How long did finding a candidate take?

Aknamkanon looked at the boys beside him and smiled. "You may leave," he said. Yugi looked at Atem at the same time the Prince looked at him. They looked at Mana and she smiled. Atem grabbed her hand they ran outside. Yugi sat in his chair and smiled. He looked at the Pharaoh when he cleared his throat. "You can go too Yugi," he whispered.

Yugi smiled. "I know," he replied quietly. "But I need a moment to collect my thoughts so I'm not mumbling and stuttering when Atem asks why I said anything." Yugi sighed. "I love him, but this will show that maybe I don't, that maybe, perhaps, I don't want to pursue a relationship with him," he looked at Aknamkanon, who was surprised to see tears in the depths of his eyes but smiled at him anyway, and returned the smile. "I don't know if I should be telling you this. You are his father who is trying to find him a wife."

Aknamkanon laughed. "Yes, but he will be married when I am ready to step down. Right before or sometime after he becomes king, Yugi, is when he will wed. Not anytime too soon though, so you need not worry. Now, go talk to my son. You were never one to put things off." Yugi nodded and rose from his seat and left the room.

"Atem, are you okay," Mana asked once they reached the courtyard. Atem didn't hear her. He was still shocked that is Yugi, of all people, Yugi to talk about him. Did he lie when he said 'I love you Atem"? The prince sighed and plopped down on the grass. Mana sat next to him and stared at him, worried about what was going through his head.

"How could he do it?" Mana looked shocked at the question.

"W-what," she stammered. Atem turned his crimson gaze to hers and repeated himself.

"How could he do it? Talk about me like that? I thought he felt the same," Atem added, mumbling.

"I do," a soft voice whispered. Both Atem and Mana whirled around, surprised again that Yugi appeared. Atem's gaze narrowed and he glared at his lookalike.

"What do you want," he growled. Yugi just stood there with that small yet all-knowing smile he usually wore on his face. It made Atem's heart melt but he couldn't, he wouldn't yield. "Don't you have work you should be doing?" Mana gasped at his harshness but Yugi still didn't move, or react, at all. It irritated Atem a little but he felt a little guilty about it, acting this way and adding yet another worry and problem, another burden to Yugi's shoulders.

"I finished the last chore when I was summoned," Yugi replied, smile still in place, and his voice not giving anything away. Atem looked at him and truly noticed what their mothers probably saw. What Isis saw after Yugi fell sick. And he didn't like it.

Yugi was thin and small, and paler than he used to be when he was a happy, carefree child. He had slight rings around his eyes, and his amethyst gaze seemed to have lost some of its shine, and swimming in those depths were many emotions, but they were too deep to see clearly. His skin that was visible was coursed with scraps, cuts, and bruises. His hands and feet were calloused and his left ankle was slightly swollen and red. His hair was slightly matted, and it, too, lost some of its shine. His movements were not as fast and were carefully calculated. His mother's scarab necklace hung loosely from his neck, and a scar was visible on his right shoulder, leading down to the scars on his back that Atem knew were there. Isis said there would be scarring, and that it may never go away. Atem turned his gaze before he could see more.

"We need to talk," Yugi whispered. Atem looked at him. "I'm sorry if anything I did last night or today made you believe my feelings have changed. They haven't." What was Yugi saying? If his feelings didn't change, then why would he do this to me? Why is he helping my father find a wife for me?

"What do you mean," Atem spat out, wanting to know, or perhaps, catch Yugi in his lie. But Yugi just smiled.

"I mean," he replied as he took a seat on the ground beside his lover, "I still love you, if not more. Nothing has changed that. I told your father more preferences because your summary of what you wanted sucked." Atem scrunched up his face and stuck out his tongue. Yugi grabbed it and Mana giggled at the display. Atem pulled Yugi's hand away and freed his tongue. "I told him because someday you will be king, but there will also be a day when you are done. Who's going to take your place when that happens? If you stick with me you won't have a biological heir, and what if something happens to me? What would you do? The kingdom needs to be taken care of all the time, and I'm just a servant Atem. What good can I do when the people need a queen?" Yugi glanced at Mana who looked mad at his comment. Atem was angry as well.

"I don't need a queen because I love you. The people would accept that. What do you think they'd rather have: a king with a queen, an heir, and an unhappy marriage which could cause him to make bad decisions, or a king who is in a happy marriage with the person he loves, someone lined up to be successor, and no doubts or worries to hinder his actions and cause his mind to make bad choices? I don't know about you, but I know which one I'd choose." Atem glared at Yugi and the latter held his gaze, unwavering. A few moments went by before anyone spoke.

"The way you make it sound is unfair, and you're not seeing it clearly," Yugi whispered. "Having a queen will make the people feel secure, and it will gain new allies with the kingdom she's from." Yugi sighed and stood. "I'm sorry if I made you doubt my feelings, but I was thinking of the future, the good of the kingdom, and…you," he added softly as he walked away. Atem watched his retreated back, and then ran a hand through his hair.

"Don't be so harsh on him." Atem started. He completely forgot Mana was there. She glowered at him and he gave her an apologetic smile. Mana rolled her eyes. "I see where Yugi is coming from, so don't be mean. He's been your best friend since birth so give him a break. He knows you better than you do. Actually he knows everyone better than they do, now that I think about it," Mana added, looking up at heavens, finger on her lips. "Hmm… Anyway, we have studies to attend. To Master Shimon… and then Mahad … Hehehe," Mana laughed nervously. Atem raised his eyebrows.

"Have you been avoiding your lessons again," he asked.

"YES," a detached voice answered. Mana jumped and looked around frightenedly.

"YUGI! WAIT FOR MEEE," she called as she ran after him. Atem rolled his eyes.

"Atem! Hurry up!" Atem snapped to attention and raced after his friend..s.

Seto walked down the corridors chasing after his white-haired beauty. "Kisara, must we play this game? You know I'm going to catch you." A giggle was the only response. Seto rolled his eyes and rounded the corner. "Aghffffffffck," he choked out.

Kisara smiled at her boyfriend who lay crumpled on the ground before her. She giggled. "What was this about catching me," she crooned. Seto glared.

"I thought we agreed no spirit monsters," he complained. Kisara laughed, and it echoed like the Gods.

"Aww, but Seto, tis such fun to see you lying on the floor helpless when my beautiful friend is out," Kisara whispered. Seto rolled is eyes.

"Yes," he agreed, "Fun for you, but it isn't fun for me until I do this," and he kissed her. The Blue Eyes roared but disappeared as Kisara's concentration was scattered.

"Do you think we should leave," Isis whispered.

"Perhaps," Mahad answered. "Though this is our spot, I don't see why we shou- Ow," he cried after Isis hit him over the head. He glared. "What?"

"It doesn't matter, they are here and it's not like there aren't any other places we could go. Besides, they're happy and you have a student to track down. Why I let you lead me into this I don't know," Isis fiercely whispered and stalked away. Mahad watched her go and then looked back at the two making out.

"Thanks Seto," he muttered darkly as he walked away.

Yugi yawned as the light of the early dawn reached his eyes. He looked around the room. No one else was up yet, but that wasn't unusual. Yugi always woke before anyone else. Except today, as he found out. Yugi had just walked into Atem's room when he found out the prince wasn't there. Yugi looked around. "Atem?" No answer. Yugi frowned but shrugged and went about his chores.

Two hours later, when servants and nobles were bustling about, a hand laid itself on Yugi's shoulder. Yugi whirled around and Atem caught the basket aimed at his head easily. Yugi stared with his eyes wide.

"S-sorry milord," Yugi gasped as he bowed. Atem looked at him curiously.

"What's with the formality," he asks. Then he remembered yesterday. "Oh. Yugi, I'm sorry about yesterday," he said as he put their arms down. Yugi looked at him worriedly. "I know you were doing what you thought was best and I didn't handle it very well." Yugi nodded.

"I'm sorry too. I should have told you-" A finger was placed on Yugi's lips to prevent him from speaking.

"You shouldn't be sorry," Atem whispered. "You're right. You're always right. I didn't think about what you actually did, not just for me, but for the kingdom. I listened with my emotions, not my head or heart," he added and placed Yugi's hand on his chest. "You feel that though, Yugi? It beats for you. If there's no you, there's no life."

SMACK! Atem rubbed his head where Yugi's hand hit it. Yugi looked at him with an angry confused look. "When the hell did you get sappy and corny," he asked. Atem looked at him with wide eyes.

"Umm… I don't know, but can I finish?" Yugi lazily waved a hand and Atem breathed. "Yeah, that was kind of weird, but that's honestly how I feel. And I know that someday we may have to part, but I want us to be…us, until that time comes. Now, because of you, I'm sure that I'll have a wife I'll be happy with. But I'm not sure I could fully love her." Atem gazed deep into Yugi's eyes, crimson searching amethyst. "Is this what you want Yugi," he asked. A conflicted look flickered across Yugi's face before disappearing to the eerie calm he usually wears.

"I don't know, but I know whatever happens, I'll be at your side for as long as you want me there. I promise." Yugi brought Atem's hand to his face and kissed it.

"Thank-you Yugi," Atem replied, anything he was going to say further left forgotten.

Aknamkanon watched as the children played in the courtyard, the elder ones watching in the shade. Yugi and Atem were teaching Mana what they learned that morning with the Pharaoh, swinging the branches in a mock battle. Aknamkanon smiled this was a moment he enjoyed watching. But even from this distance, he could see the smile on Yugi's face was pasted. Something has made him unhappy again and he still chooses to bottle it. The king sighed as he walked away. That will have to change.