Okay, first of all I know this took me forever to write and I am unbelievably sorry, but I had a lot of stress lately and it's just not stopping, I can't help it. Just adding to it is that school starts again next week. So please don't kill me if I don't have much time to write in the next few days. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Lotsa love and hugs - Ani

When Worlds Crumble

Ch. 6 – Decisions, decisions

Kendall, James and Carlos sat huddled together in the living room while sipping on their hot chocolate every now and then. No words were spoken, but it was clear as day that they all thought about the same thing.

Logan.

They knew that somebody had to bring him up eventually, but none of them were willing to start a conversation right now. Mostly because they saw no point in it. Logan was gone and he had showed them clearly that he wouldn't come back, no matter what.

Carlos pulled his feet tightly to his chest and hugged himself, something he always did when he was upset. Guilt welled up in his chest when he thought back to the way his best friend had looked at him. Such disappointment. So much pain. Carlos hid his head between his knees. Somehow he could not believe that he'd never see Logan again. But each time he risked a glance at the empty spot on the couch where his friend always used to sit his heart sank further. It made it all too real to be denied.

Carlos lay his head on James' shoulder and the taller immediately put an arm around him to offer some comfort even though he wasn't in any better shape himself. Beside all the shame and self-blame he felt when he thought of Logan there was worry nagging at him, too. His little brother was alone out there on his way to Minnesota with no one to look out for him. What if he got attacked by some creepy fan? Or the plane crashed? Or he got hit by a bus? There were so many things that could've happened by now and if anything did because James wasn't there to protect him, he swore to god he'd jump off a building.

Kendall took it the worst. He hadn't said a word ever since they were at the security's office (they were lucky that the guards had let their little scene at the airport slide) and just stared into space like he was missing a part of himself. Well, actually he was. Without Logan nothing felt right anymore. How could he have not noticed this feeling before all of this happened? How on earth could he have been so blind? Sure, James and Carlos were involved too, but Kendall still felt like Logan's pain was all his fault. There was this special bond between him and Logan that James on the other hand shared with Carlos. Something that went past friend or even brother. It was like the connection of two souls. They knew whenever something was wrong with the other even if others didn't notice anything. That was why Kendall should have known that he hurt Logan. He could've stopped all of this before it even started if he had just looked close enough. But he hadn't and this was something he could never forgive himself.

Katie had locked herself in her room the second they arrived here and not even Mrs Knight had been able to coax her out of there. She just lay curled up on her bed and hugged her pillow close to her aching chest. It felt like somebody ripped a piece out of her heart, the place that belonged to Logan alone. She ignored the knocks on her door and the voices asking her to come out because Katie didn't want them to see her crying her eyes out like the little kid she was. Hours and hours passed until the tears on her cheeks slowly began to dry because she was too exhausted to weep anymore. So she just lay on her bed and breathed slowly in and out through her nose. Any other thing would be pointless. Katie felt like not even a few minutes had passed since they came back to their apartment, but it must be evening by now because her mother knocked and asked if she wanted to join the others for dinner. Katie appreciated her mum trying to keep people sane in here, but she still didn't open her door. All she wanted was to be alone right now. No, scratch that. All she wanted was Logan.

Suddenly she stood up and stomped over to her door. Why was she sitting here and moping around? That wouldn't bring Logan back after all. What they needed was a plan. And if her brother hadn't done something about it by now, she would. When she stepped into the living room she saw the three boys sitting at the table and eating spaghetti like they had no care in the world. Carlos even was... was he fucking smiling? Boiling anger shot through her system and she stormed over to them.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

James, Kendall and Carlos looked up in surprise.

"Katie! You're with us again!", Carlos exclaimed happily.

She walked over to the latino, raised her hand and slapped him hard across his right cheek. The boy was too surprised to even make a sound of pain. He just stared unbelieving at the girl in front of him.

"How can you just move on like that?", she yelled. "Logan's gone and you're sitting here stuffing your stupid ass faces instead of trying to get him back?"

"Katie...", Kendall said, holding his hands up in defence.

"Oh shut it!", she cut him off. "We need to do something about it! I don't understand how you can even think about food right now!"

"Katie, we..." Again Kendall was interrupted.

"I DON'T CARE!", she screamed now.

"KATIE!" This was Mrs Knight who had come into the kitchen upon hearing the yelling. She looked serious but also strangely determined. "There's no need to make such a scene."

"Oh. Is there not?", she snapped, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I think you..." Her gaze fell on something in her mother's hands and she choked down the comment she had on her lips. Could it be? Katie stepped closer and took the paper from Mrs Knight to get a better look at it. Her eyes widened as soon as she read the imprint.

When she felt the comforting weight of Kendall's hand on her shoulder Katie looked up into her brother's smiling face.

He gently took the five tickets to Minnesota from her hands.

"Looks like for once we were one step ahead of you, baby sister."

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

If there ever was a situation that could be described as awkward, it was this. The three Mitchells sat around the dining table in silence, eating lunch together for the first time in years. The only sounds in the room were the scraping noises of forks on dishes. Logan's appetite had left him the second he set a foot into this house he used to call his home. Confusion and fear battled inside his mind and he couldn't shake the feeling that this weird family moment was just another trick to fuck with his mind. So he just scooped his food around on his plate while he cast glances at his father every now and then who seemed to care less about Logan's presence. He wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure where to start. Eventually he couldn't take the tension anymore and cleared his throat. The seemingly loud noise got him the attention of both of his parents who looked at him expectantly.

"So", he started lamely. "You two are... kind of... back together now?"

Mrs Mitchell lowered her eyes while her cheeks burned up in slight shame. Logan's father just nodded curtly and grabbed her hand possessively in his. Logan noticed that she didn't pull it away.

He sighed heavily.

"May I ask why?" He looked directly at his mother, expecting her to give him a good reason because at the time being he didn't understand it at all.

Her gaze seemed to be glued on her potatoes and she remained silent so Mr Mitchell spoke up after a few seconds.

"Well, you know, son." The way he said it made it sound like a curse word. "It's actually a very interesting story. Even while I was in jail because someone" he cast Logan an angry look "couldn't keep their mouth shut, I never stopped loving Joanna. So when I got released I searched her all over the country. I told her how I felt, she took me back and, well, here we are." Mr Mitchell looked at his son somewhat challenging.

Logan narrowed his eyes. Something wasn't right here.

"Really? Because I remember my mother telling me that you destroyed her love for you the first time you beat me up over a stupid mistake."

His father stood up to his full height and towered over him with a look of furious hate in his eyes.

"Are you calling me a liar?"

Logan rose from his seat too, but was still about one foot smaller than his father. Damn fate for giving him his mother's short stature.

"No", his voice was full of disgust. "I'm calling you a cowardly bastard who needs violence to compensate his shitty childhood but isn't strong enough to put up a fight with people of his own build and has to take out his frustration on his defenceless wife instead."

He didn't know where his attitude came from but he regretted his words the second they left his mouth. The first punch came so fast that he didn't even see it coming. He doubled over in pain and clutched his aching stomach. Mr Mitchell quickly made his way around the table and shoved Logan's chair aside.

"HOW DARE YOU?", he screamed while he kicked his son's ribs and sides. Logan couldn't help but feel a little surprised that he didn't hear the cracking of his bones like he did when he was younger. That could only mean that his father held back for some reason. But why?

Before he could find an answer to the question the beating had stopped. He looked up from his spot on the floor to see his father staring down on him with disgust.

"Get out of my house." His voice was low and threatening, he meant business. And even after all this years Logan knew better than to disobey his father.

He stood up slowly, ignoring the pain the best he could and was about to leave when his gaze fell on his mother.

"What about you mom?", Logan asked, a pleading undertone in his voice. Surely she would not betray him, would she? "Don't you have a say in this?"

She fiddled with her vest and looked at the floor. A few moments of expectancy passed before she lifted her head and her eyes bore into Logan's with a broken expression.

"Do what you father said, son."

Logan felt his heart being ripped in two. His own mother, who had told him she would always be there for him, sided with the man who had beaten him up not even a minute ago. She didn't want him with her and his father. His whole family life didn't exist anymore and he could never come back here to this house he used to call his safe haven. Logan nodded briefly at his mother and grabbed his duffel bag.

"I hope you two are happy together."

And with that he fled the house, slammed the door shut and ran. Away from his old life. Away from his mother. Away from the only home he had left in this world. The home that was gone now. He ran and ran and ran until his chest ached so much he couldn't go one more step without collapsing. He slumped down on the pavement, lay his head in his hands and finally started sobbing while his lungs fought for air. He cried and cried for hours out in the open while people passed him by. Most of them stopped and asked him if he was alright or if they should call somebody for help. Instead of answering he just ignored them or screamed at them to go away. Eventually they all did. Logan knew that they just meant to be nice, but they didn't understand him. Nobody could ever understand him. Logan stayed on the pavement even after his tears stopped, wishing the ground would swallow him up and suffocate him so he could just lay here forever. There was no point in standing up. He had nowhere to go to after all.

Logan was alone in this world.

At some point he must have fallen asleep on the hard ground because the next time he opened his eyes it was already late in the evening. People always said that every situation in life looked better once you slept over it. Now Logan could confirm that no, it didn't.

He got up from the pavement and stretched his aching muscles, flinching when he felt his sore stomach protesting against the movement. His eyes darted around, trying to find a familiar building in his surroundings only to see none. Where was he?

Logan walked along the street until he got to a cross-way that he recognized. He turned right, still not sure where he should go, and tried to take his mind off the depressing thoughts that threatened to invade his mind by counting his steps.

55...56...57...

His eyes stayed cast down on his feet as he walked along the path, not paying attention to anything around him.

126...127...128...

The simple counting action calmed the raging storm in his mind until he thought of nothing any more. All that mattered was the sound of his breathing and the repetitive movement of his feet. Right. Left. Right. Left.

342...343...344.

He stopped when suddenly his right foot hit a border. Logan raised his head and saw where his feet had led him to. His eyes widened in surprise. This would've been the last place he'd have gone to now. Or ever for that matter. He was about to turn back around and continue his pointless walking when something inside him refrained him from doing so. He looked up at the building once more and weighed his options. On the one hand he had sworn to never come back here in all his life after his father started beating him and his life took a turn for the worse. But on the other hand... where else should he go to? What did he have to lose anymore, really? After a few minutes of simply staring he decided to give it a try.

Logan climbed the stairs that led up to the wooden door, took a deep breath and knocked quietly. When nobody answered he pushed the handle to unsurprisingly find the door unlocked and stepped inside tentatively. It might help him to have somebody he could tell everything even if he hadn't talked to them in years.

And who knew, maybe he might even find advise in here.

To Be Continued...

Sooo... any ideas where Logan went? Let's see if you figure it out ;)
I'd love to know what you think about this chapter, because I don't really like it... I hope you enjoyed it though. Review please, it makes me happy! :D - Greetz from Germany!