Okay, so here is the next chapter. It's been a long time but I hope you guys think it was worth the waiting. If it's not please tell me so I can make the next chapter better or even work this one over. Enjoy! :)

When Worlds Crumble

Ch. 7 – Keep on hoping

James rested his head against one of the comfortable seats of the plane he was sitting in, his tiredness starting to show slowly. Ever since Kendall had bought the tickets online and told them to pack for today the brunette had been on an emotional high, full of energy and impatience that was slowly deflating now that he actually was on his way to Minnesota. His old home. Surprisingly he found that he hadn't missed it too much in these last few months. At least not nearly as much as he missed his Cuda hair products whenever they were used up. And not even a hundredth of how much he missed Logan right now.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. James wished so hard that their friend would hear them out once they found him, but the more he thought about it the more he couldn't believe that Logan would. And even if he did, how could they possibly explain this mess? They didn't even think about what to say to him yet. James sunk further into his seat. He was so tired. It seemed like the past few days had worn him out far more than he had noticed.

He closed his eyes while he thought of a way to give Logan an understanding of their point of view. After everything it would only be fair to tell him how it really was. That they had honestly no idea how all of this happened. But... would that be enough to convince Logan? To apologize and then say 'oh, we don't have a clue why we let you down'? Probably not. But they had to tell him this way. He deserved to know the truth.

When a sudden noise startled James he looked to his right to see Carlos leaning against the window and sleeping soundly. James smiled. How Carlos could fall asleep wherever and in whatever situation they were was an everlasting riddle to the brunette. Sometimes he wished that he could be just as carefree as him. To be so childish and innocent that the thought of kittens and cookies alone could make his day every time he was sad. But he couldn't. He didn't even really want to.

Kendall might always think that he alone was responsible for everyone, but James felt the need to protect the others just as much as he did. They even had this unspoken agreement that Kendall always looked out for Logan while James was there for Carlos at all times. If you asked them why, they would answer something like "We just have to" and let it go. The truth was, they didn't really know either. That was what true friendship was. Taking care of each other without asking questions.

So despite Logan being missing James still felt like he had to look out after his little Carlitos. To make sure he was okay and could stay his cheerful self that they all loved so much.

He asked one of the stewardesses for a pillow, then lifted Carlos' head (the Latino wouldn't notice anyway, he was a heavy sleeper) and put the cushion between him and the cold window so that he was more comfortable.

"It's really cute you know?"

James' head whipped around to his left where Katie sat and smiled warmly up at him.

"What?", he asked confusedly.

"You guys", she replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Your friendship. I always loved to watch you together. Not just you and Carlos, but also Logan and my brother. It's great to see that even in this shitty world we live in today there are still people who care for each other. It actually makes me kind of jealous."

James smiled and rubbed her arm lovingly.

"You know that I love you just as much, Katie. You're like the little sister I never had."

She chuckled softly. "Thanks, James." Her eyes grew serious. "I really hope that we can find Logan. You four need to be together again." She smirked. "After all you wouldn't survive a day on your own without him."

"Oh, like I don't know that?", he huffed, slightly amused, but sighed dejectedly right afterwards. "You know Katie," he said hesitantly. "When I first met him in kindergarten he was so afraid, he didn't even to talk to me. I asked him why once – we were already friends back then – and he said that I seemed so intimidating with my great hair and my cocky attitude." James chuckled quietly, but there was more sadness than humour behind it. "He said that he always wanted to be just like me. Good-looking and confident and talented and stuff. But I never understood why." He looked at Katie who listened intently to his story. She sensed that this was very important to James. "Because I have always envied him, you know? Ever since the day we met. His charm, his brains, his everything. What impressed me the most was that he didn't even notice the effect he had on other people. He just was who he was and everybody loved him for it." James stared off into the distance. "I mean, sure, I am the face of the group and all the girls want me." He smiled sadly. "But Logan is so much more. He is a great person. Actually the greatest person I ever met. Someone I always wanted to be like." James sighed again.

"You miss him very much, don't you?", Katie asked quietly.

The brunette looked up at her. His eyes held nothing but sorrow. "Yes", he whispered, his voice muffled with tears. "You know, we always had our problems because we are so different. But that's exactly what makes us such great friends. We round each other out. I need him." He took a shuddering breath and cleared his throat as if to compose himself while wiping the tears in his eyes away harshly.

Katie lay a comforting hand on his shaking arm. Her eyes were full of sympathy when she spoke quietly to the mournful brunette.

"Don't let worry mess you up so much, James. Logan can't have come too far by now and if he isn't in Minnesota anymore we will search him all over the world. In every single crevice and corner." She sounded so confident that he couldn't help but feel better slightly. "We will find him."

James looked out of the window as he lay his own hand over hers.

"I sure hope so, Katie. I sure hope so."

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

Carlos shivered in the freezing air outside the plane. Since when was it so damn cold here in Minnesota? He had already put on two extra jerseys and still the chills seemed to seep into his bones and leave him frozen. Damn, this time in LA had really sissified him in terms of weather.

He looked around the familiar airport he had been to so many times whenever he went on vacation with his family. Now there wasn't any excitement of coming home on his mind, there was just impatience. All he wanted was to start searching for Logan already, the sooner the better. Why didn't the others hurry it up for God's sake? Not only were there damn many lamos blocking his way, no, everyone on the gangway in front of him seemed to move extra slow just to mock him. Carlos groaned and bounced on his feet a few times.

"Come oooon!", he whined and tapped his fingers impatiently on the handle of his suitcase. Kendall lay a hand on his shoulder, half amused and half annoyed by his behaviour.

"You won't get faster to Logan by making a scene, Carlitos."

The younger glared at him.

"Yeah, but I also couldn't get any slower to him seeing as it is, Ken-doll."

The blonde just shrugged and started humming"Halfway There" just to have something to do. Even if he didn't show it just as much as the Latino, he was getting impatient too as time went by.

When they finally got their suitcases and stepped out of the airport they were fraught with determination.

"Okay, synchronize watches", Kendall commanded and the three friends pulled back their sleeves. Katie snorted.

"Mission impossible much, huh?", she said sarcastically. The boys chose to ignore her.

"We have to split up so we can find him faster", Kendall ordered, taking over the leader role as he always did. "James" The brunette nodded curtly in acknowledgement when Kendall addressed him. "You go to Logan's house and check if he's with his mum." James gave a thumbs up. The blonde turned towards the younger of them. "Carlitos, you search the park. Especially the bench where he always used to read." The Latino tapped his helmet twice. "Mum and Katie, you go to the hockey rink and ask everyone if they saw him." The two women nodded. "And I" Kendall pointed at himself. "am going to check the library. Alright?"

They all looked at each other for a moment, determination burning in their eyes. Then Kendall gave the final instruction.

"Move out!"

And with that they all went their separate ways, confident that they would soon be rejoined by their friend again. After all the chances of not finding Logan in such a small town were ridiculously slim. If not non-existent.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

Logan entered the church with a reverent and slightly crestfallen feeling in his stomach. He had always felt like that when he used to attend worship here. Even though it was over six years ago he still remembered every little detail of this church, mostly because he always examined the drawings on the walls and the ceiling out of boredom when his parents made him go here. They had been a real family back then. Normal and happy. At least on the outside.

His footsteps echoed loudly through the empty hall as he made his way over to the altar. Suddenly he felt like the little boy he used to be again, dressed in his Sunday clothes and sitting silently in the background by his family while the other kids whispered and giggled quietly to each other until their mothers hushed them. Logan had never been like them. He had always been different, a boy with no friends (his neighbour, Kendall, could've barely counted as one) but great behaviour. He didn't talk much to the other children in kindergarten or school and he was always completely silent in church. His parents had told him not to talk when other people spoke because that was rude and he wasn't stupid enough to disobey his father. With the little confidence he had it took Kendall weeks to get him halfway out of his shell and make him talk to other kids besides him. That was when he met James and Carlos, who made the foursome of their friendship complete.

Kendall. His friends. It always lead back to them.

Logan took his cheap lighter out of the duffel bag and lit the candles on the marble altar one by one until the whole church seemed to glow in the flickering, orange light.

He looked down on the bible that lay in front of him. One of his fingers traced over the pages while he read the first line that caught his eye.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Logan smiled. They had learned about the Beatitudes more than once in class, these familiar lines offered some kind of comfort to him. He looked up at the statue of Jesus Christ on the wall. As a child it had always been a riddle to him why the Christians used such a horrible scene like a crucifixion to illustrate Jesus in their religion. Now of course he knew that it was because he sacrificed himself so his people could be free. At least the bible said so. Honestly, Logan didn't really believe in God's or his son's existence anymore. He thought that the men of a past age just wanted an explanation to all the things they didn't understand and finding someone who was responsible for everything made them feel more comfortable. It gave them some sense in their lives, to believe in wonders in miracles. Logan didn't think that all those stories of wonders the bible told were even halfway true, but the thought of some higher power was strangely comforting and gave him, like so many others, the hope that not everything was lost.

Without really knowing why Logan walked up to the large wooden cross behind the altar and fell to his knees. He folded his hands and – for the first time in six years – began to pray.

"Um... Hello God." Logan swallowed and cleared his throat. Where should he start? "Yeah, so... here we are now, I guess. Um... this is kind of awkward since I didn't pray at all in the last years and... well, I don't think I have to explain the reason why. You probably already know it, being omniscient and all. But... that doesn't explain why I'm praying right now." Once again he swallowed thickly. "Well, I know that I often said that I don't believe in you. I'm still not sure right now, but... I think everybody needs you, something to believe in. I do too." His gaze dropped down to the cold floor. "I just thought it's about time we talk again. Or better said, that I talk to you again. It's kind of funny that the reason I stopped praying is the same thing that makes me start again. Maybe you remember my father? He used to go here a lot, I don't know if he still does." Logan looked up at the cross, his eyes slightly shining with all the emotion welling up inside him. "I don't know if you remember me though... Last time I talked to you was when I was eleven. I hoped you could hear me back then. I told you everything, every night." He took a deep shuddering breath before continuing. "If you do remember me, you'll find that I'm not the same person I was as a child. You probably know everything that changed me, all the ups and downs and stuff. So I won't even start telling you all about my life and what brought me here. I'm not too good at talking about myself anyway." Logan chuckled without a hint of amusement before getting serious again. "I don't want to bother you with lamenting about pain and shit that happened to me. It wouldn't get me anywhere and after all I guess listening to other people's pain is basically what you do all day. So you probably wonder why exactly I'm here now if not for that." Logan closed his eyes for a few moments before continuing while tears started to trickle down his cheeks slowly. "The truth is... I am alone. I left my friends in LA and now my parents kicked me out because they don't want me anymore. I have nowhere to live and nobody to go to and I'm afraid of what is going to happen." Logan looked up at Jesus who looked back at him with his kind, unmoving expression. "What should I do, God? I'm so desperate, I'd do anything to get my old life back even if it was like hell to me. Everything would be better than what I have right now. My whole world is falling apart and every time I look back at it I think it's my fault alone." Logan's voice grew louder with each sentence. "I feel like I don't even know myself anymore, like I have lost who I am. I don't understand any of it and you know how I hate not understanding something. There are times I just want to give up and end it all, but then again I could slap myself for thinking about it. There are too many people I'd hurt if I killed myself. Like Katie and my friends. Or my mother. I couldn't bear doing anything that would hurt them, but I just... I can't go on like this anymore."

Logan put his face in his hands and breathed heavily, just barely restraining himself from breaking out in sobs. A few moments of silence passed by while he just listened to his own thumping heart. Jesus looked down on him from his cross, silently understanding and comforting but yet unfazed by the trembling boy on the floor. Logan didn't care. He hadn't been able to hold all of this in any longer, he needed someone to talk to even if it was a lifeless statue. Now that everything was said and not bottled up inside him anymore he felt better, like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. As soon as he thought he was composed enough to continue he started talking again, his voice shaking ever so slightly.

"I hope that you understand me and that this whole thing isn't pointless. I only want you to forgive me for ignoring you all this time, God. To know that I'm sorry for hating you for all the things that happened to me. I think maybe all of this had to happen for a reason and I wouldn't change my past for nothing, because it's what made me me." Logan wiped his nose. "I just have one more thing before I go. If I may, I want to ask you for a favour." He looked up at the cross pleadingly. "Please God, look out for the people I love. Kendall, Carlos and James. Mrs Knight and Katie. My family. I don't know where I'm gonna go from here, but I won't be able to protect them anymore." Logan wiped his tear-streaked face. "Just... please promise me that you won't let anything bad happen to them. Take anything you want from me, I don't care, but they are such great, loving people, they deserve a life of peace and happiness. I'd give everything to guarantee them that and if you want me to prove it I will." Logan rose from his knees and touched his folded hands to his mouth, whispering a quiet "Amen" which echoed loudly in the huge hall before it faded away. And with it went all the emotion Logan had talked off his soul in the past few minutes.

Logan blew out the candles and left the darkness of the empty church without looking back once. There was no reason to stay in here any longer. Now that he could finally breathe again.

~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~BTR~

James jogged along the familiar streets to Logan's old house. He had been there so many times, he could have found the way blindly if he had to. On his walk he saw multiple things that made memories of his days here rush back to him. Like the bakery where they always got their lunch before school. Or the sports ground where they used to play football in summer when the hockey rink was closed. He even recognized the tree Carlos fell off one day and broke his left leg. James smiled at that. Now that he was back in Minnesota it was actually kinda nice to see his home town again. But it was also bittersweet to walk these streets without his friends by his side.

A girl he knew from his old school crossed his path, he recognized her as Amy from the biology course. James greeted her friendly and relished in the way her eyes widened and beamed in response. Yep, being a famous popstar sure was great.

After about five minutes he stood in front of Logan's home. The street lamps were already powered, but it wasn't too late in the evening for the Mitchells to be still awake. James knocked and waited in silent excitement and slight fear. Would he see his friend again now? What would he look like, better or worse? How should he approach him after everything that happened? Would Logan forgive him? If he didn't, was begging a good last option?

Before he could think one of these questions through the door opened and the greeting James had on his lips got stuck in his throat.

"What are you doing here, James?", Mr Mitchell asked, sounding almost bored. The fact that the man remembered his name after all this time was both surprising and frightening. The brunette stood frozen on his spot. He had been prepared for everything, but not to see him.

"I asked you a question, kid", the taller said a bit louder when James didn't answer.

"I... Um..." His voice shook slightly, which didn't go unnoticed by Mr Mitchell. "I-I wanted t-to... Shouldn't you be in jail?", it burst out of him.

The man leaned against the door frame and rolled his eyes.

"I got released on bail if you must know, but that's beside the point. What do you want?" Now he sounded slightly threatening. James took a step backwards on instinct which caused the burly man to grin slightly.

"Um... Is Logan here?" The minute he said it he already knew the answer. If his father was here Logan would not dare stay at his house.

Mr Mitchell just laughed maliciously, confirming James' suspicion.

"Most certainly not," the man said, still chuckling and shaking his head. "Not anymore."

"What do you mean?", James asked suspiciously and slightly afraid. Whatever the man meant, it couldn't be good. Mr Mitchell examined his nails in boredom when he answered.

"Well, his mother and I kicked him out."

James couldn't believe it. "What?"

The brunette shot him an annoyed look. "I said we kicked him out. Are you deaf or what?"

James didn't even listen anymore. Logan's mother, the only person the small brunette had left right now had picked his abusive father over him. When Logan had nowhere else to go to.

Oh my...

"Where is he now?", James demanded fiercely.

Mr Mitchell shrugged and yawned.

"I could care less where this dipshit is." He waved a hand dismissively at the fuming boy in front of him. "Whatever. I'm tired." He went inside again and turned around to close the door.

"Wait!", James yelled and jumped forward, but the door already slammed shut right in his face. He banged his fists against the hard wood in frustration.

"You fucking bastard!", he screamed. "He's your son and you little fuck don't even care!"

Suddenly the curtains right next to the door opened and James saw Mrs Mitchell looking at him with a terrified look in her eyes. The hate he felt towards her only increased when she mouthed "Stop it please" before closing the curtains again.

"You fucking coward", he hissed in aggravation. "How could you do that to him?"

James stepped away from the door, panting heavily from his raging fit. After a good minute of just staring at the house in disgust he turned around and ran down the street all the way back to the corner from where he couldn't see Logan's previous home anymore. When he got there he pulled out his handy and dialled a number with shaking fingers.

"Hello?", Kendall said when he picked up.

"Hey", James replied curtly. "I think I got something you need to know."

To Be Continued...

Dun dun duuuun. So now James and apparently Kendall know the truth. What are they gonna do?
I hope you enjoyed reading this :) See ya next chapter!