Sorry for being absent all this long.. I am back with writing unless work gets in the middle.. lilce1992 , FFReviews , tbplrbear1 , hptriospashley , lilbit1016 , mb168 Thank you very much for your lovely reviews..
Chapter 16
Spencer's POV
Someone very dear to me said a long time ago "It's easier not to fall in love.. That way your heart aches less.." I tend to believe though that falling in love is one of the greatest things.. When you let yourself completely to something unknown.. At the end you might get hurt, you never know, but if you think about it you experienced something wonderful.. So I don't regret falling in love with Ashley.. It happened and I didn't expect it but it was something that when I think about it it just brings a smile to my face..
Letting her go wasn't easy but it was all I could do.. I wanted to believe that it wasn't our time yet.. We met under very difficult times and sometimes I wish she wasn't married.. Because when I told her that I would wait for her, I meant it.. That's what I am doing all this time anyway..
We never stopped writing to each other.. I never saw her again.. Maybe it was for the best, I don't know.. We both had the same feelings and she couldn't leave her husband.. It wouldn't be fair to him after what he did for her.. I never was a man hater and without knowing the guy, after all she told me about him, he seemed like a very good person and I wouldn't want to be the one who would cause problems to their relationship..
Every month I would get two letters from her.. She would write to me pages of how she was, that she was missing me, sometimes she would end her letter with her saying that she loved me.. And it would be the times that I would let my tears fall.. Because I loved her as well.. Up until now I had 24.. It was already a year after the last time I saw her.. The war was at the end and her last letter was telling me that she was going back.. I could read her happiness and at the same time her sadness.. All I could wonder was if she would continue to write to me now that she would be back.. She never wrote down her address in New York so maybe that was my answer.. I wrote her one last letter without knowing if she would ever get it..
'Dear Ashley,
The war is over and with that everything seems different in a way.. I can't believe that you are going back.. That all of us are going back.. Here at the hospital everyone smile, they even had a party yesterday.. Can you imagine that?
One night I counted the days that I had you here with me.. I have known you for two years and from those two we were together, at the same place for 94 days.. Not much eh? Those 94 days though were the best and thank you for giving them to me.. I don't know where this letter is going to find you.. You might never get it.. Who knows.. But I want you to be happy.. And maybe one day we will meet again.. But I have a feeling that we will..
See you soon,
With Love,
S'
September the 2nd of the year 1945 ended with 60 million people dead.. 20 million were soldiers and the other 40 million civilians.. I have seen death in those years more than once.. Someone I saved but others I couldn't.. From all these catastrophe I saw people falling in love and actually leaving from this hell together and happy.. I couldn't help but think that I might have had the same ending with Ashley.. But I didn't..
"Spencer, are you ready?"
"I am ready yes.."
"Where are you going to go now?"
"Back home.. That's all I want. What about you Christopher?"
"I proposed to Lisa yesterday"
"That's so nice.. I am so happy for you"
"Thanks Spencer.. So we are going back to my parents house so they can meet her.. Do you think they will like her?"
"Of course they will.. Lisa is a wonderful girl.."
"I think so too.. I want to thank you for saving my life.. If it wasn't you.."
"It would be someone else.."
"Thanks anyway.. You are an amazing doctor and a wonderful woman"
"I see Lisa waiting for you.."
"Goodbye Spencer"
I thought really hard what to do.. I haven't seen my family for quite some time, actually it has been years so all I wanted was to go back.. Even if when I left my father and I weren't on speaking terms.. But it was time to make amends with my family..
The flight back home seemed more than I could imagine.. While I was looking outside the window I couldn't help but think what happened all these years here.. The bad and the good things.. And while I was flying back to California I decided that it was time to let go of Ashley.. If she wanted to find me she knew where I was.. For now all I wanted was to go back to my home and watch the sunset at the beach.. That's all I was thinking..
Before I leave France I called my mother telling her that I was coming back.. So it wasn't a surprise seeing them, both my mother and father, waiting for me at the airport.. When my mom saw me she run and held me in her arms and I have to say that I really missed her.. I missed everything about her.. Her touch, her smell..
"Spencer honey.. I can't believe this is over.. I can't believe we have you here.. How are you?"
"I am fine mom.." she hugged me again and didn't stop kissing me till my father spoke..
"Paula.. I think I deserve to hug my daughter.. Don't you think?" last time I saw him we fought really hard but today it was like I was looking at someone else..
"Welcome back Spence.. We really missed you.. I am so glad you are ok"
"Thanks dad.. It feels good to be back"
"Now lets go home.. Mom made your favorite"
On our ride back home they were asking me how it was there, what were the feelings.. How could I describe them though the death I have seen? The young soldiers that died in my hands.. There weren't actually words to describe that.. Instead I tried to give them the whole picture with my own words.. Simple words so they could understand..
"I am just glad you are alive and here with us.. This war should have never started from the beginning"
"Unfortunately it did"
When I got inside my home I came face to face with the familiarity of everything. Everything seemed at the same place.. Even my room when I got upstairs.. I stood for a couple of seconds looking till I fell my mother's arm on my shoulder..
"I didn't touch anything.. It's the same the last four years.." I got inside and took a picture I had on my dresser.. It was me and my parents at my graduation from college.. It seemed so far away..
"I am so proud of you sweetie.. For who you are and what you accomplished"
"Thanks mom"
"I have clean towels on your bed and clean clothes.. Take a shower and come downstairs when you are ready.."
"Ok.."
I sat on my bed for a couple of minutes thinking that this room here wasn't the room I had in France.. This bed wasn't as hard as that one.. And this bed didn't hold one of the best memories.. It didn't have Ashley and I holding each other.. I said I would let her go but I couldn't forget.. Some things were reminding me of her.. And it was difficult.. Instead of going back and bring back all these memories I decided to take a long hot shower.. It was 8.30pm when I found my parents sitting at the dinner room chit chatting about something I couldn't hear..
"Spencer, come here sweetheart.." once I sat down my mother served my plate with food that I forgot it existed.. She had made some beef with red sauce, mashed potatoes and vegetables, fried chicken and I don't know how many other plates.. A family of ten could eat all that..
"You should eat honey.. You are really thin"
"I'll try.. But all these smell wonderful"
"Your mom is an excellent cook"
I realized that while I was sitting here with my parents only my body was here.. Mentally I was in France.. My mind was still there and I don't think it would go away anytime soon..
"Will you excuse me? I need to rest.. The flight was long. The food was amazing mom.. You are indeed and excellent cook"
"Of course Spence.. Have a good rest.. Its so nice having you back.."
I kissed them both and went upstairs.. I didn't sleep.. I couldn't.. It's been a long time since I had a goodnight sleep.. Instead I rested there, looking outside my window wondering where she was right now.. Did she wonder the same about me?
TBC
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