Hey guys.. I wrote this chapter on my phone and probably that i'll do for the next chapters this week.. So they are not going to be long.. Sorry for that..

The Queen: and i was wondering where were you.. :p i told you before to fire your spies but you didnt listen to me.. Hope this time the new ones will do a better job.. Nice seeing you reviewing this story as well.. And liking it..

Chapter 21

Ashley's POV

They say that things can change from one moment to another.. Feelings, relationships, even the weather does.. Seeing her right there, my whole world stopped.. She was still the same beautiful girl i fell in love with.. With her blond her and those eyes that i was dreaming every night.. She was there, looking at me but instead of smiling at me, instead of taking me in her arms she stood cold and used a very professional tone.. She was indeed Dr Carlin, the doctor who did the surgery to my husband.. I wasn't planning to let her go though.. No.. After so long she was right here, with me, and I wouldn't let her go..

Once she left i went to see Aiden.. He looked so tired and torn.. I wasnt used to see him like that.. To me he was a strong man and seeing him like this, laying on a bed was difficult.. When I opened the door he looked at me and tried to form a smile..

'Hey..'

'You are here..'

'of course.. Like i wouldn't be'

'you didn't have to though.. I know it's a long trip'

'Aiden I wouldnt stay in new York knowing you were here'

'thanks' I don't know if it was the surgery but he was distant.. Like he was here but yet he wasn't.. 'did you talk with my doctor?'

'Yes I did'

'she is young but she is good'

'I know' i said without realizing what I admitted..

'how you know?'

'you are here with me, right? So that makes her a good doctor'

' I guess you are right'

I stayed there till Aiden fell asleep because of the drugs the nurse gave him.. I went to the reception as Ashley said and told the nurse that i wanted to talk with Dr Carlin.. I wasn't used to call her like that.. Not even when she was my doctor..

'she will be here in a few'

'thank you miss'

I sat on a chair and now all I could do was go wait.. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and kiss her but that would be wrong.. I was supposed to think about Aiden, my husband, but all I could think of was her.. What she would tell me, how it would be between us after so many months, did she still care about me..

Even when we were inside her office she seemed distant.. It was like I was making a step forward and she was making a step backwards.. And then everything was out.. She never got my last letter, I never got hers and we lost contact without knowing if the one wanted this.. At the end the only thing left to discuss was me and Aiden.. And she was right.. I was begging for her to keep in touch with me, I told her i loved her but at the end of the day I was Mrs Dennison and we both knew it..

'please.. I would like to see you somewhere outside from this hospital.. We can meet where I am staying or somewhere else.. Just.. Please Spence..'

'I don't know..'
'please..'

'we will see.. Now if you excuse me I have to finish my rounds.. I'll be around..' she said and stood up from where she was sitting leaving me behind wondering if I would see her again..

I spent the night next to Aiden.. I know i was being a coward, someone I started to deslike.. I was here playing the wife but inside I was screaming.. I just wanted to feel something and I was feeling like myself, I was feeling free when i was with her..

'Ashley..'

'Aiden, I am here' I heard him calling my name but when I got closer his eyes were shut..

'why?' I wanted to wake him up and ask him what he meant.. 'why?'

He kept repeating over and over again.. After a couple of seconds he stopped but in my mind i was wondering what that why meant.. Since he was sleeping I went out and wondered around the hospital where i saw her talking with one of her patients.. She seemed like she was meant to be a doctor.. She was kind and she was smiling at them and she seemed like she haven't seen death and pain.. She was a very strong woman and that was one of the things I loved about her.. Once she finished she saw me looking at her and started to walk where I was..

'it's late you know.. Why aren't you sleeping?'

'i cant. With everything that is happening it's not easy'

'Ashley.. I.. It's not right'

'What is not right?'

'.us. Aiden is here, and he is my patient and while i want to kiss you I can't. I just can't'

'Spence..' I stepped closer.. I wanted to touch her.. I forgot how good she felt in my arms..

'not here please.. I am going to finish in a few.. So let's meet outside.. Ok?'

'yes. Of course'

I could understand.. After all it was my fault putting us in this situation.. But instead of thinking that she might want to give us a chance I was afraid that she might wanted to give the final end.. But besides what I was thinking I went outside waiting for her.. After fifteen minutes she was outside..

'hey..'

'hi..'
'i would say come to my home but I am living with my parents..'

'we can go to my hotel.. It's near'

'ok..'

The ride back go my hotel was silent.. She didn't speak but I didn't either.. What tonight might bring? Who knows?

'Ashley Dennison.. I am in room 609'

'of course Mrs Dennison. Here you are'

We took the elevator to the six floor and I guided her to my room.. When we got inside she sat on the edge of my bed and looked at me..

'I was starting to letting you go and fate brought us together again.. Ashley I don't know what I want.. Actually erase that.. I know what I want.. Since the day I met you I wanted you.. But you are married.. We can never be together' I went right in front of her and cupped her face making her look at me..

'I can't be without you.. You are everything I think about.. I know I am being selfish and not a nice person to Aiden but this is how i feel..'

'And why are you with him?'

'I am asking myself the same question every day.. Maybe because I owe him.. Maybe because he is a nice guy.. I don't know'

'And why you want to be with me?'

'Because when I am with you everything is more easy. You make me smile, and I am more myself with you than being with someone else'

'Ash..' she was ready to tell me something else.. Ready to tell me that i was wrong, that what we were doing wasn't right but I stopped her by kissing her.. I kissed her for all those months that I didn't.. I kissed her till we both needed air to breathe..

'I missed you Spence.. I missed all of you' and while i was looking at those beautiful blue eyes that held my heart she answered me back with a mutual passionate kiss.. Indeed.. Who knows what tonight might bring.. For now I had her in my arms..

TBC

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