AN: hey, please don't hate me and don't give up on this chapter because unfortunately it was needed to do.

And remember, Kurt's only 17, okay? Teenagers screw up all the time.

Chapter 3

Kurt absolutely hated crying himself to sleep. Most of his days were good, but when his loneliness hit him hard, he couldn't do anything but cry. He hated crying, since it reminded him of the worst periods of his life, but it was his way of letting it out of his system.

The truth was, he missed his boyfriend. He missed Blaine very much, and there was nothing he could do about it. He knew that he would see the boy again in no time, but time was apparently slower than ever for him.

In one morning, before going to school, he decided to make a quick stop.

As he entered the gates of the quite melancholic place, he felt an urge to run away, but he didn't. He knew he had to do it, he had to talk to someone about it, and she was the one who would always hear him.

As he got to his mother's grave, he lowered himself and placed the bouquet of white roses right next to her photograph.

"Hi mommy" he said, his eyes instantly watering.

"I know you didn't get to know Blaine that much, but I wanted you to know that he comes here every year with me. Sometimes he even talks to you, you know. He likes to share this with me" and he started to cry.

"Mommy, I just wanted you to know that I miss you too much, and I wish you could be here, to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. Because I feel like I'm completely lost, mommy. I love him so much, but he's so far away, and he loves me too, and it hurts so bad. I wish you could be here to tell me that it's supposed to feel like that" he gave up speaking, to let the tears go down once more.

As he walked out of the cemetery, he glanced back, towards the gates, and waved weakly, as though his mother was standing in there, telling him everything he needed to hear from her, but couldn't.

"I went to her grave yesterday" he said, while Blaine ate breakfast.

The boy stopped eating immediately.

"I wish I could be there with you" he said.

"Yeah, I wish you could as well. But it was good going there alone, you know. It felt good to talk to her like that"

"Can I know what you talked about?" Blaine asked.

"I had cried the day before, and you know how much I hate crying. So I just wanted to let it go. I don't know if it sounds stupid to ask for advice from someone who's dead, but that's why I went there"

"Kurt, she's your mother. It'll never sound stupid" he sighed, "I just wish I could hug you and tell you everything's going to be okay"

"That's why I went there. I needed to hear it from her. I need to hear it from her, but I can't, and it sucks, you know. I miss you too much, and that's why I cried the other night. I wish I could talk to her about it, and she'd hold me in her arms and tell me that, no matter what we'll be together, Blaine. I need to hear it from someone in order to continue believing it."

"Kurt, please, listen to me. Yes, we're far away, but it doesn't mean I won't go back. I will, like I said I would. I love you more than anything in my life, and I can't stay without you, Kurt. I won't give up on you, just like you told me you won't give up on me. I love you"

Kurt seemed to consider it for one moment.

"It's getting really late in here. I think I should go to bed. We'll talk tomorrow. And I'll always love you too, Blaine"

And he turned the computer off.

Making promises seemed easy, but to actually keep them was harder. Kurt knew he had promised he wouldn't give up on Blaine, and that he would always be by his side, waiting for him, but he couldn't stop thinking about the pain it was causing him, the pain it was causing them both.

Blaine was in deep sleep when he heard the phone ringing. It was something unusual, given the fact that he didn't know more than five people in Florence. He rubbed his eyes and walked to the living room, to answer the phone.

"Hi. Sorry for calling you so late Blaine, but we need to talk." Kurt said. Blaine wanted to say he didn't need to apologize for anything, but he didn't like the tone Kurt used, it worried him. There were going to be troubles.

"Is there something wrong? I've been trying to talk to you for four days, but you just ignore me every time" he said, sounding worried.

"No… there's nothing actually wrong. I just need to talk to you about something" Kurt really didn't want to do what he was about to do. But he knew that, the only way for both of them to find happiness again, was being free from all of the sadness they were feeling.

"Blaine I… I think we should…" he sighed and continued. Love did hurt too much.

"We should break up"

Blaine didn't know what to say. He couldn't form a sentence, couldn't breathe right, and couldn't believe in what he was hearing.

"What do you mean, break up Kurt?" he was almost crying, his brain screaming that he had heard it wrong. No, it was definitely wrong. Kurt could never break up with him.

"I think we… I think we need to stop feeling the way we're feeling. I'm always sad when I think about you right across the ocean, where I can't see you and talk to you, and if I go to your house, you're not there anymore. I miss your smell, Blaine, your mouth, your body against mine, the heat that comes from you. And all of this hurts me, and I know it hurts you as well. We should stop torturing ourselves" Kurt answered, while sobbing uncontrollably.

"But you, you told me that you knew it would be hard, Kurt. Please, don't give up on me, don't give on us. I love you, and I know that, even we're going through a hard time being apart, at least we're together. Please, Kurt, I really don't want to be without you. You're the best thing I have in my life right now, you're my best friend." Blaine tried his best not to break down and cry, but as he spoke to Kurt, he realized that everything he was telling the boy was the truth, and it was hurting him really bad. He finally broke down.

Kurt knew he was hurting Blaine by doing that, but he also knew that, in the future, Blaine would thank him for stopping their suffering when he had the chance to. At least, that was what he hoped.

"Can we please wait more two days before we decide on something, Kurt? I don't want us regretting something" Blaine asked, almost begged. He needed another chance.

He waited a few seconds to consider. He knew that Blaine was suffering, so Kurt thought he could give the boy a couple of days, so he could realize as well that it was the best for them.

"Okay, we can have a couple of days to think about it, I guess. But please, Blaine, consider everything you're feeling right now"

"I love you, this is what I'm feeling" he said, as he heard Kurt sobbing in the other end of the line.

Kurt couldn't sleep that night. It was worse than the other day, when he sobbed uncontrollably. Now, he was thinking about life without Blaine, and it was something completely impossible to imagine. He looked around his room, his house, and every corner of it held some memory about Blaine. Every chair, every clothes inside his wardrobe, every pillow, everything around him had a bit of Blaine in it.

His nightmare began quite pleasantly. He was dreaming of him and Blaine, in Florence, having fun going to the famous places of the city, talking until dawn, kissing and caressing each other, having sex. But then, it faded into something darker, as Blaine stood up from the bed where they were lying down and walked towards the door, smirking at Kurt. Suddenly, another boy appeared at the door of Blaine's room, he kissed the boy heatedly.

Dream – Blaine turned around and found dream – Kurt looking at him from the bed, with a shocked look.

"That's what's gonna happen, the minute you leave me" Dream – Blaine said, laughing at Dream – Kurt.

Kurt woke up more scared than ever in his life. He felt his palms sweating, and his heart beating fast. He had done something terribly wrong.

A/N: aaaaaand what will Kurt do now?

And like I said before, please don't hate me and most importantly, don't hate on Kurt. He's just a teenager, he has the right to screw up. Remember that this is his first relationship with anyone, and it's someone he loves too much.