Chapter 26
Spencer's POV
It's another morning.. Another month that she is in New York and haven't said anything to Aiden yet.. It's been four months and in every letter she was sending me I was reading the same thing over and over again.. 'I tried', 'It wasn't the right moment', 'When I was right about to tell him he said he felt a pain on his chest', 'I am sorry', 'I am sorry', 'I love you'.. I was starting to get tired of her not taken a decision of what she wanted.. Orally she told me many times she wanted us to be together but when she was ready to make that step there wasn't the right time.. And I was still waiting.. Waiting for something I don't know if I'll ever have..
At the hospital work was hectic as always.. I was trying to be there as much as possible because being with my patients and doing what I loved helped me relax and not over think.. It never did me any good anyway..
"Dr Spencer, Chief wants to see you"
"What does he want me?"
"He didn't tell me.. Only to find you and tell you.."
"Ok, thank you Karen"
I was wondering what the chief wanted? I tried to remember if something went wrong but I couldn't.. So I walked to his office trying to relax and hear him what he wanted to say..
"Chief?"
"Spencer.. Come on in.. Sit"
"Karen told me you wanted me.."
"Yes.. Ehm.." he put his glasses on and seemed like he was trying to find something on his pile of papers he had on his office.. "Oh, yes.. Here it is.. Spencer.. Two days ago I received an envelope from Metropolitan Hospital of New York.."
"Ok.. And?"
"They want you.." I stayed quiet for a moment because I wanted to actually take all in what he said.. Metropolitan Hospital wanted me..
"Why?"
"Do you really need to ask that Spencer? You are one of the best.. You are an excellent doctor and.. They would be lucky to have you.."
"I don't know what to say chief.."
"Well.. Take your time and think what is it that you want.. I am going to give you the envelope to read what they said and tell me.. They want an answer in a week.."
"A week? That is so soon.."
"I guess they can't wait to have you.." he got up from his chair and came right next to me.. "Spencer Carlin, you are destined to do great things.. Metropolitan Hospital is the best hospital in the country.. I don't want to lose an excellent doctor but I want to see you as a great surgeon.. And you will be if you go there.. As I said.. Think about it and tell me when you are ready"
"Thanks Chief.. I will try to answer you as soon as possible.. Goodnight"
"Goodnight Spencer.."
I didn't know.. I just couldn't think of what was the right thing to do.. If I would leave I would have to leave my parents and my life here in California but if I would go to New York then Ashley and I would be at the same place.. But would it be for the best?
Instead of going home I decided to go to the bar nearby.. I just wanted to relax and have a drink.. I had lots of things to think about and one person in particular..
"Hey John.."
"Spencer.. It's been a while since I've seen you from last time.."
"I know.. I had lots of work.."
"You doctors never sleep.. I am wondering.. Do you have a personal life?"
"What personal life?"
"I figured.. The regular?"
"Whisky.."
"Tough day?"
"Tough decisions to make.."
John was a great guy.. In his late thirties, having his own bar and single.. I can really say that if I wasn't into women and in love with one of them I would definitely think about going out with him.. Sometimes I was catching myself flirting with him especially when I was drunk..
"So Spencer.. I think you had enough"
"Enough? I had only two"
"You are showing me three fingers Spencer.."
"Ok, maybe three.. But I am good.."
"I don't think you are.." I touched his hand and looked at him in the eyes.. I could be mistaken but he had the same brown eyes like Ashley's
"Trust me.. I am good.."
"It's late.. What you say if I close the bar and we go and buy you a coffee? Then you might want to talk about what's wrong.. Because I haven't seen you like that before.."
"I might say yes to your offer"
"Great.. Wait so I grab my jacket.."
John was right.. I was drunk and I wasn't feeling good.. We didn't go far away.. The coffee shop was near so we walked till there.. John holding me for not to fall down..
"Ok, here we are.. How are you feeling?" I touched my head with both my hands and tried to speak.. I could feel the ceiling turning..
"Not good.."
"Miss.. Miss.. One coffee and really really fast please. And lots of water"
Why I drunk so much? I wasn't used to drinking.. And whisky wasn't my favorite.. Especially doubles.. I just wanted to forget I guess.. Forget everything I had on my mind and was killing me..
Half an hour later and after drinking lots of water and coffee I was starting to feel better but nauseous..
"Better now?"
"Somehow.."
"I should have stopped you in your first.. You don't handle alcohol well"
"Such a smart guy.."
"No need to be ironic Spencer"
"I am sorry.."
"Now, I know we are not in the bar where my place is to actually hear all your problems but I am here if you want to talk to.."
"Thanks.."
I didn't have anyone to talk to.. Or at least not anymore.. Alex besides being my girlfriend she was my friend as well.. I didn't have any friends from the hospital considering most of them were cocky guys.. And my best friend got married, had children and now lives in Canada.. So I didn't have anyone to talk to right now except John..
"They want me to go to New York"
"New York? That's awesome Spencer.. And you drink about that?"
"Actually I drink for a lot of things.."
"So you will be an uptown doctor in New York.. Classy"
"I don't know if I am going to go yet.."
"Why?"
"The other problem is that.. Well.. How to say that.."
"Try to use simple words.."
"Smartass.. Well the other thing is that I am with someone.. Or we are not together.. I don't know what we are and that person is married and lives in New York"
"Oh.."
"Yeah, oh"
"I didn't have you for a person who would be with a married guy.." I had to laugh from inside because it wasn't a guy but a girl.. It made things more complicated..
"Neither did I.."
"So what are you thinking.."
"The truth? I don't know.. I can't think of anything right now.. It's like that I have a cliff right in front of me and a waterfall behind me.. Wherever I go I will fall.." he leaned closer to me and touched both my hands..
"Whatever you decide I am sure it will be the right decision.. No one knows better than you yourself.."
"Thanks John.."
"Now are you ready to go home?"
"What if we sit here and talk a little bit more.. If you don't mind"
"It would be my pleasure Doctor"
And like that the time was 5am and we were two people drinking coffee with other crazy drunk people.. It's been a while since I had a good time and John helped me a lot without knowing.. I had to make a decision.. I just needed to find the right one..
Aiden's POV
Coming back to New York felt strange.. Ashley wasn't the same.. Actually she wasn't the same since the first day she came back from war.. The first month I thought it was because of the war.. I am sure it was hard.. But this thing continued.. Most of the times she wouldn't talk, or she would sit by the window reading.. I tried many times to come close to her but instead what I got from her was nothing..
Most of the nights I would wake up because she would turn on her sleep or because she was talking to herself.. And one of those nights she said 'Spencer'.. The morning after I didn't tell her anything.. I didn't tell her about the name she said but I did tell her that she was talking in her sleep.. When I did her first question was 'What did I say?'.. Again I didn't say anything.. My mind didn't go anywhere.. I am sure it was nothing.. But every night after that it was the same name she was screaming.. And then it was the crying..
I remember one day that I came from work earlier.. Rwanda wasn't home and I thought that Ashley was with her.. As I was walking up to our room I heard her crying.. My thought was to go inside and comfort her.. Ask her what was wrong but when I was close to the door I saw her reading a letter and saying again that person's name.. Spencer.. I was curious to see what she would do next.. Once she wiped her tears she put carefully the letter inside the envelope and opened a box and put it there in her dresser.. What she was hiding from me.. Before she sees me I walked inside the room and surprised her..
I wanted to trust her.. I wanted to believe that although she wasn't in love with me I wanted to believe that she wouldn't cheat on me.. That she didn't meet anyone there.. But I wasn't that sure anymore.. Not after I found the box and saw the letters.. They were too many.. I shouldn't have searched in her things but I wanted some answers that she couldn't give me if I asked her..
The last months I had to travel to California because of my job.. Ashley and I were being distant a little bit.. Especially when I read one or two letters of hers and that Spencer guy being from California didn't help my trips to that place.. I could see in her face the want to come with me when I was leaving.. I couldn't help but to think.. Was that person alive? Did she talk with him all this long? Every trip I made was making me more and more suspicious.. Till I had a heart attack and I stayed there for a month..
Ashley came the very next day of what happened and I was glad that she cared about me.. When she met with my doctor I saw her face glowing.. I couldn't put my finger why she was glowing.. Dr Carlin was an excellent doctor and she did a great job.. But every time Dr Carlin was inside the room Ashley was looking at her the way she never looked at me.. I understood why a few days later when one of the nurses told me about Dr Carlin and that she was on war.. And especially when Ashley spelled her name.. Spencer.. Could it be the same person? It would explain a lot.. But how could it be possible? Ashley and Dr Carlin? Spencer wasn't a guy as I thought but a girl? Now I was more confused like I never been all these months.. And Ashley wasn't at ease either.. I wanted to find out what was all this about.. And I would.. One way or another..
TBC
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