Chapter 31

Spencer's POV

After the charity gala I didn't see Ashley again.. She tried to come in contact with me but I wasn't ready to see her or talk to her.. And that because if I did I would easily fall for her charm, I would kiss her and then I would wait for her and her decisions.. I couldn't.. Not anymore..

She came to find me at the hospital a couple of times.. Besides that I didn't want to see her I put myself into work so much that sometimes I was forgetting to go home as.. I was trying to convince myself not to think of her.. I tried hard but every time it was more and more difficult not to..

I sat down myself and thought if I wanted to hear her excuses.. I was sure that her wanted to see me that much was another of her come and go games.. She wanted me but she couldn't be with me.. She loved me but she wasn't ready to tell Aiden that it was over between them.. At some point I realized that I had to protect my heart.. And I decided that the only way it would be not to give her time but to give myself time to realize how I wanted to move on from on.. The only clear thing in my mind was that I really loved her and that I wanted to be with her.. But not like that..

After the fifth day coming at the hospital and me refusing to see her she didn't come again.. She didn't know where I was staying so actually finding her on my doorsteps would be hard to see.. I can't say though that I didn't miss her trying.. Knowing that she was coming to see me every day but now she wasn't made me think that at least I meant something to her.. And now that I am thinking of that I clearly don't know what I want.. Maybe I wanted to punish her for making me wait, maybe I wanted to push her away to see if she cared enough to stay.. I don't know.. I wish that things were different..

A month and my life didn't change pretty much.. I was doing what I was meant to do.. Being a doctor and having no personal life whatsoever.. My day consisted of waking up at 7am and usually going home the next day, sleep for five hours and then back to the hospital.. In this hospital I met wonderful people.. People that day by day I was coming close to.. Even with the nurses.. It was easy.. I don't know why back in California it didn't feel like that.. It was supposed to be the opposite, since I was working to one of the best hospitals.. But no.. The male doctors were amazing and some of the women for once were not jealous.. Some.. Not all..

"Dr Calin.. You have a patient on examination room 6.."

"And what is with the patient?"

"He came half an hour ago with pain on his chest.. There are no doctors right now.. Dr Mendez is in the OR and.."

"No, its ok Izzy.. Thank you.. I am going to check on him.."

"Here you are" she said and gave me the chart of his history..

I opened the curtain while looking at the chart and then I realized who the patient was..

"Aiden.."

"You.. Nice.." he said with an ironic tone on his voice.. I am sure I would feel the same if this was happening to me as well.. I didn't let him though get me.. I was a doctor and he was my patient..

"Ehm, I see that you came here with pain on your chest.."

"I want another doctor.."

"Aiden, you are in a hospital.. You can't choose doctors.." he gets up from the bed and tries to go but I stop him before he does anything else.. I don't know why he was being like that.. "Stop acting like that.. What's wrong with you?"

"I told you.. I want another…" he stops his sentence in the middle and put his hand on his chest trying to breathe.. He was having a mini heart attack..

"Izzy, Nicole, come here.." we lay him down and put a mask of oxygen on his face with me trying to give him the right treatment.. "Try to relax.." he was looking at me straight on my eyes.. Like he was telling me with that way everything that he couldn't tell me with his voice.. "Thank you ladies. I am going to stay here and check his vitals. If I need you I'll call you.."

"Ok, dr Carlin"

After an hour and me being next to him checking how he reacted to the drugs I gave him he managed to open his eyes and move his hand to take off the mask.. I did it for him..

"Are you feeling better?"

"Why you always save me? Why you are not letting me die? Why?"

"Aiden, I am a doctor.. I made an oath.."

"Why it has to be you? Why? You stole my wife from me.. She loves you more than she would ever love me.. Why?"

"I did what?" he was delirious from the drugs.. That's for sure..

"Ashley, and you.. You.. A woman.. And she is a woman.. And she loves you.. And you stole her from me.."

"Aiden what are you saying?" and now he was crying.. I have to say that I saw a lot of men cry while being a doctor in France.. And I can't say that I wasn't wondering what on earth he was saying..

"I shouldn't let her go.. I shouldn't.." he was crying and I think I heard him wrong but I didn't..

"What have you done Aiden?"

"I threw her out.."

Once I heard him saying these words I needed some time to realize that Ashley was coming here to tell me what happened between her and Aiden.. To tell me that it was over between them.. And every time she was coming I was refusing to see her..

And where was she? Where she was staying? And why Aiden was such a jerk?

"Aiden?.. Aiden.. Look at me.." he was still under the influence of the drugs and although it wasn't professional I was taking the advantage I had.. "Where is Ashley now?"

"Don't know.. I don't know.."

"Look at me.. You don't know or you don't remember?"

"Don't know.. Where is she? Do you know?"

"No, Aiden.. I don't know.."

"Will you tell her once you see her that I am sorry? Tell her I was angry?"

"I will.. Now relax.."

Aiden couldn't help me.. I had to think of someone who might knew.. As far as I knew Ashley wasn't on speaking terms with her parents and she wouldn't go there.. I don't recall telling me for one of her friends.. So where was she? I was so stupid.. So stupid.. If anything would happen to her I wouldn't forgive myself.. Ever..

I went back to my office and tried to think of any places she could go.. I couldn't find any.. And then I remembered.. I remembered when she was telling me about their maid.. Couldn't remember her name.. She was telling me that she was like a mother to her.. What if she knew where Ashley was?

I left the hospital right away and took a cab to Ashley's house.. I knew her address by heart but I never went there.. All I knew was that her house was close to Central Park.. Once outside the house I stayed still for a moment.. It was a beautiful house with a great view.. I knocked the door and a black lady in her late forties opened the door..

"Hello?"

"Ehm, hello.. My name is Spencer Carlin.. I am a friend of Ashley's" she looked at me from my toes to my head and didn't say anything.. Instead she opened the door more wide for me to come in.. "Ehm, Aiden Dennison was at the hospital.. Still is actually.. I am a doctor.. He had a mini heart attack.."

"Oh my God.. Is he ok?"

"Yes, he is ok.. He will be out by the end of the day"

"Please sit.. What can I get for you? Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee?"

"Some water would be fine.. Thank you"

She brought my water and stood up looking at me.. I didn't know why but I could feel her looking through me.. It was kind of scary..

"Is Ashley here?"

"Since you are a friend of hers you should know where she is Ms Carlin"

"I don't though.. I came looking for her"

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why you came looking for her after a month?"

"What is your name again?"

"The name is Rwanda.. And I know who you are Ms Carlin.. I know very well who you are"

"And who am I?"

"The one who broke Ms Ashley's heart.."

"I did what?" I was confused as to what this lady knew and what actually Ashley told her.. Could she have really said to her that Ashley and I were in somehow together?

"Listen Ms Carlin.. As I said I know.. Ms Ashley was crying on my shoulder for hours when you didn't want to see her.."

"Rwanda, I don't know what you know but.."

"I know that she loves you and you love her.. Or at least I thought you did.. I was expecting to see you but not after a whole month.."

"You know? She told you?"

"She did.."

"What happened?"

"It's not my place to tell you.. You have to ask her.."

"That's why I am here.. Do you know where she is?"

"I want to ask you something first.. Do you love Ms Ashley?"

"I do.. Since the first day I saw her.."

"That's all I need to know.." she took a paper and wrote down what I supposed was the address.. "She is there.. It's not a good place and sure it's not for white people like you.."

"What is it there?"

"It's a shelter.."

"A shelter? Is she ok?"

"She is.. I have people looking out for her.. But I would like not to see her there.. So go and take her home.."

"And what if she doesn't want to come?"

"She will.. Because she loves you just as much as you do.. And she waits for you"

"How.. How are you so open about Ashley and I?"

"Ms Ashley gave me a home and brought my son back.. She loved me when I needed to be loved.. So all I want for her is to be happy.. And if that means that she will be happy with you then I am ok with that.." I stood up and I hugged her.. I don't know why I did it but it felt right..

"Thank you very much Rwanda.."

"Go now.. Don't go there later than 5pm.. And bring my girl back from that place.."

I was relieved and at the same time anxious.. I took a cab to Brooklyn.. It would be a long hour drive there.. I have never been to Brooklyn before.. All I knew was what I read in the newspapers..

Once I was there it was hard for me to picture Ashley staying here.. Especially for a month.. It was a neighborhood full of black people.. And I can really say that I was the only white one walking down the street.. There were people that were scared and people who were surprised.. I just wanted to find that place and take Ashley back.. Either she liked it or not..

"Excuse me sir.. Can I ask you something?" he didn't answer to me.. Instead he walked away.. I understood their fear and their hate towards me.. Or what my color represented.. I walked and walked till I found it.. It was a big building with people outside talking.. Rwanda said not after 5pm.. And it was already 4.30pm when I checked my watch..

Once inside there were so many people sitting, smoking, talking and when they saw me everyone stopped what they were doing..

"Excuse me.. I am looking for Ashley?" no one spoke.. Instead they continued doing what they did couple of seconds ago..

"Come with me Ms.. I will show you where Ms Ashley is.." a woman said from behind me.. I followed her without thinking where she was taking me or if she was someone I could trust.. "It was brave for you to come here by yourself you know.."

"I came for my friend.."

"Do you know Rwanda?"

"We both know Ashley.. She send me here actually"

"Good.. Rwanda is a very good person and so lucky for leaving this shithole.. Ms Ashley is there.."

"Thank you very much"

"No problem.."

Where the lady took me was a garden.. Or it seemed like a garden.. Ashley was washing her clothes.. I don't remember seeing her like that ever.. She seemed not herself and I could understand that she couldn't be herself here.. She didn't notice me.. Instead I walked till I was meters away from her.. Her hair was falling in her eyes and I wanted to come close and put them behind her ears.. She seemed so fragile.. I think I stayed there looking at her for five minutes when finally she looked at me.. She formed a smile when our eyes met.. I didn't stop myself for saying the words I was thinking while coming here…

"Hey baby.. I came to take you home.."

TBC

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