A/N: Hey guys! I'm back already with a new chap! Even surprised myself with that. Want to thank all of you again for the awesome reviews and the alerts and favs! They really made me want to write some more before I leave. Not sure if I'll be able to write another chap before monday, but I'll try my best! For now it's confession time for Cuddy... Hope you'll enjoy it!

A/N2: Someone asked about where Rachel is. She's with Arlene 'cause of the wedding and everything. Will be explained in next chapter.

Disclaimer: Sadly enough, they're still David Shore's...I'm just borrowing them.

Chapter 5

She couldn't help it. With each mile she got closer to Lucas' apartment she got more anxious. She was afraid of his reaction. He wouldn't get violent, that she knew, but she was pretty sure this would break his heart and even though she knew she was ultimately making the right choice, she didn't want to hurt him. So she braced herself for what was going to come while in the back of her head she kept replaying the events of the last hour.

Cuddy had literally pinched herself in the arm a couple of times to make sure she hadn't dreamed all of this. And each time she felt the pain caused by her pinching she couldn't help but smile a little. This was really happening. House of all people had come to her place and had so uncharacteristically opened up to her. It was real, they were real.

While being extremely excited with the prospect of starting something with House, she was also slightly worried and apprehensive. Thing certainly won't be easy between them. And that's not only because she's his boss. They probably had the most dysfunctional relationship one has ever seen, and that's before they were even together. Both had hurt the other already too often. What if they would end up hurting each other once too often, to the point of no return? They were putting everything at stake now. This could screw up their friendship forever.

Yet, all of these thoughts didn't make Cuddy change her mind. They had to try this; had denied it themselves for way too long. She was done with that, she just needed to know if they could work out together.

Cuddy was kind of shocked to see that she had arrived at Lucas' place without consciously noticing. She had driven there on auto-pilot; all the while too busy thinking of what she would leave behind her and which future she was heading towards. Checking her appearance in the rear-view mirror, she took a deep breath trying to calm herself and thinking about how she should deliver Lucas the news. After one last, calming breath she exited her car and walked to his door. Gently knocking she waited for him to open it.

He had already been asleep; she could tell by his disheveled hair and the fact that he was standing there in his PJ's. He looked quite confused to see her stand there, and frankly, how could he not be?

'Lisa, is something wrong? Why are you here? I thought you insisted that we didn't see each other till the wedding tomorrow. Missed me too much?'

That last one was a joke. She could tell he added it to mask his worry. Allright she thought, this is it.

'Lucas, could I come in please?'

Still looking confused and worried, he wordlessly stepped aside and let her in. Turning around to face him and swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, Cuddy started:

'We really need to talk Lucas. I know this is going to sound crazy but I want to cancel the wedding.' She figured it was best to just get through it. No need to try and mask it, it wouldn't make it less heartbreaking for him she thought.

Lucas' jaw dropped and she was sure his eyes were about to pop out of his head. He just stood there for several minutes just staring at her in utter shock and disbelieve. When he finally seemed to have found his voice back, all he could mutter was:

'WHAT? Why…How…Lisa?'

'I'm sorry Lucas, but marrying you isn't the right step for me. You are truly a great guy, and believe me it hurts me to know that I'm hurting you, but I can't go through with this.'

'What made you change your mind? Are you sure you're not just getting cold feet? Lise, that's perfectly normal, you know. It's ok to have some doubts, but that doesn't mean we have to blow everything off' he pleaded with her while he moved closer and put a hand on her shoulder.

'This is not me getting cold feet Lucas. It's just that some things happened tonight that put everything in a different perspective for me.' Should she tell him those things were related to House? Probably not, it would only end up hurting him more she reasoned.

'What do you mean some things happened? What made you change your mind Lise? I thought we were doing great? Everything went so well between us. You make me happy, and I thought I made you happy too?'

'Things were going pretty good yes…'

'Then what's wrong Lise? Please tell me, 'cause I really have no clue here.' He was getting slightly aggravated, she could tell.

'It's just that I can't do this while I'm not fully in this like you are. I can't make this kind of commitment; it wouldn't be fair to you Lucas. You deserve someone who loves you with everything she has. I do care for you Lucas, but I will never love you the way you love me and I'm sorry for that. But I think it's better to be honest with each other now instead of when it's too late.'

'It's okay if you're not sure about your feelings Lise. I know you care and that's enough for me. Please don't do this to me Lisa' he pleaded.

'I'm so sorry Lucas, but I can't. It's just…' she trailed off.

'Just what? I don't get you Lise. Or wait…Can I ask you something?'

'Sure…'

'Does this, by all means, has anything to do with House?'

Cuddy was dumbfounded, how did he know? The look on her face must have told him the answer and now he was angry.

'Of course it does! I should have known he would keep haunting us! Well you can congratulate him; seems that his umpteenth try to break us up has succeeded! The son of a bitch! What did he do or say this time? Damn it, I really should have known!' He was fuming now and angrily pacing the room. She unconsciously took a step back before she spoke again.

'What do you mean I should have known?'

'Oh come on Lisa! Everyone who is more than five minutes around both of you guys can tell there is something between you. You could call it tension, chemistry, whatever but it's obviously something. I know you have a history together and I'll never understand the weird bond you guys have or why you keep putting up with him. I guess I was stupid to delude myself that you would ever be able to move on from him. Which doesn't change the fact that you're avoiding my question. What has he done this time? Why did you change your mind now, what's different from the other times?'

Cuddy was also shocked now. He had known? Was it that obvious that she had feelings for House?

'I…Well…He came to my place tonight and confessed some things to me that really overwhelmed me. Things of which I didn't thought he was capable of and now that I know he is I just need to know if he and I can work together.'

'You love him.' It wasn't a question. He was merely stating a fact.

'Yes, yes I do.'

'Of course you do! Well, that certainly explains a lot. How you keep defending him and putting up with all his crap. Now it all makes sense. Just know one thing Lise. He's an ass and that's not going to change. He's hurt you before and he'll do it again and know that I won't be around then anymore…'

'Lucas, just know that I'm really sorry for hurting you and…'

'Don't Lisa. Please don't make it worse. I'll come pick up my stuff later. Just go now please.' He held the door open for her while he begged her to leave. She could see the devastated look in his eyes and it really hurt her to know that she had put it there but it was the right choice. He deserved someone who truly loved him. Just before she left she turned around to face him one last time and cupped his cheek. Slowly stroking is she put a kiss on his other cheek and whispered:

'Goodbye Lucas.'

'Just don't, please Lise…' A tear escaped his eyes and she couldn't stay there any longer.

'I'm sorry…' and with that she took of her engagement ring, gently put it in his hand and left without looking back, afraid to see the look of hurt on his face again. Back in the safety of her car she let a few tears escape. She might not love the man, but she did care for him so this was kind of hard for her. She had made the right choice though, she told herself and decided to try and stop dwelling over it. It was time to move forward. She started her car and left towards House, towards the future, their future. A small smile formed on her lips with that last thought while she wiped the last tears away and headed off in the night.

That's it for now! Thank you for reading and let me know what you think about it! :) Up next is a Huddy chap in House's appartment. See it as my excuse for total lack of Huddy in this one! (It just didn't fit in imo)