I am sorry for being absent for so so many days but the truth is that i didn't have the mood to write.. So here i am and i'll try to finish the next two chapters in the next two days..
Chapter 38
Spencer's POV
The moment I stepped my foot at the hospital I knew it wouldn't be a good day.. Probably some of you felt this kind of feeling once or twice in your life..
The day was the worse I had since the day I came back from the war.. Besides the surgeries I had planned, at 9am sharp they informed us that there was a big accident between a bus and car and a lot of people were injured.. All doctors were in their positions waiting for the ambulances to bring any injured man or woman..
At 9.30am the doors opened and what I saw I didn't expect.. There were people with blood running from their heads, people with broken bones, parts that were missing from their bodies.. It was a massacre.. Seeing all this right in front of me took me back to France and the soldiers I had to keep in life.. The scene it was close to that..
"Ilene, Marianne come with me.. George I am taking this guy to the OR"
Everyone was running.. Trying to see who was dead, who wasn't.. Who needed our instant help and who could wait.. It was a tough decision to make but it was a decision that was needed to..
By 5pm in the afternoon after being in the OR for almost the whole day I had to talk to at least four families and tell them that their husband, wife, child, brother or sister was dead.. We saved a lot of people but unfortunately we lost some as well..
I was sitting in the hall writing the charts of the patients when Nick came and sat right next to me.. I didn't pay him any attention..
"God, that was the best day I ever had.." I looked at him and he seemed so relaxed.. His hands on each side of his chair.. Like he was stretching..
"I wouldn't call this day the best Nick.."
"Are you kidding me? I had to put together arms and legs.. I did the surgery to a man where a stick was right through his chest.. It was an amazing day"
"Whatever" I was right about to get up when he stopped me..
"So are you ready? In a few hours its our date.." it was now or never.. And I was really pissed at him and his coy attitude and with what was happening today and how he reacted..
"You know what? No. I am not ready.. And I am not going to be ready.. I am not going to go out with you Nick.."
"Relax.." we weren't alone.. There were nurses around us and doctors but at this point I didn't care..
"Don't tell me to relax.."
"Ok ok.. We can go out another day.." I leaned close to his face and I saw him smiling.. I am sure he was thinking that I would kiss him or something..
"Listen to me and listen to me carefully.. I.. am.. Not.. Going.. To go out.. With you.. Ever.. Got it?" I saw him gulp and I think he putted on his arrogant head that I wouldn't go out with him.. At least I hoped he would put it to his arrogant head.. When I turned to leave I saw all of them looking at me and in seconds doing something else.. Yeah.. The rumors would go even bigger than before..
I didn't see Nick till it was time for me to go home.. I stayed at the hospital till 9pm at night till I was sure that I wasn't needed here.. While I was ready to go I was thinking of Ashley.. I am sure she thought that I was out with Nick or something..
In twenty minutes I was home and all I wanted to do was to take a hot shower, eat something and sleep..
When I opened the door I saw Ashley sitting on our couch watching tv.. She turned her head to look at me and got up from her seat..
"Hey.." I said and it was more of a whisper that anything else.. She came close and put her hands behind me giving me a soft kiss on my cheek..
"I saw it on the news.. They said about an accident.. How are you?"
"A mess.. I am tired and I lost four people.." I said and took off my coat and sat on the couch with my hands holding my head..
"We both know that you can't save everyone.. And you know it better than I do.."
"Still.. It reminded me the war you know.. And how many soldiers I lost.."
"I understand.. Do you want me to make you something to eat? Or.. Ehm.. You are going to eat out?"
"Not going out.. And if you mean about Nick, the doctor I was supposed to go out, I made it very clear to him that I wasn't planning to go out with him ever.." she stayed quite for a moment and then she looked at me..
"Spence, I want to tell you that I am sorry for my reaction.. I had no right to be like that.. Especially when you waited for me all this long.. It's just that sometimes I am catching myself being jealous.."
"Why? Did I ever give you the reason to be?"
"No.. It's me.. This whole thing with you and me it's new and I am just afraid.. That's' all"
"I can't say that it's new for me because it is not.. But being in love with someone it is new and I am as afraid as you are.. You just have to give me some credit here.. I wouldn't push you to come out to your co workers and I want you to not push me either.. I am protecting you and me at the same time.. You don't know what people are capable to do Ash.. It doesn't mean that I love you less if I don't hold your hand when we are walking outside or if people at my work not know with who I am.. I know and you know.. And when we open that door it is you and me and the world can go fuck.." I saw her giggle when I said fuck..
"You are right.. I am sorry.."
"You have nothing to feel sorry about.. I just want you to understand.. If things were different I wouldn't even think to take you in my arms and kiss you senseless in front of everyone.."
"What if you kiss me now senseless?" I am about to kiss her when my stomach growls.. "Mmm.. Maybe if you eat first.. Then you can kiss me senseless"
My day didn't start good and I was afraid of how it would end.. But everything went well..
The next days weren't different.. When I was walking at the hospital corridors I could hear whispers and I could feel it was about me.. Some nurses didn't even have the tact to not to look at me while their were gossiping..
"Dr Spencer.. Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Of course.."
Marianne was the head nurse here at the hospital and one of the best.. Most of the times we were working together in the OR.. She was close to my age, brunette, with honey brown eyes and surprisingly she was single.. Yes, I know because here everyone knows about everyone..
"Dr Spencer I really respect you.. The person you are and of course the doctor.. I am sure you heard the nurses talk.."
"Yes, I did.."
"And you know what they are saying.."
"I know that too.."
"Dr Spencer.. I.. I just.." and like that I felt her lips on mine kissing me.. What the hell was that.. I did a step back and looked at her waiting for her to explain..
"What was that?"
"I am sorry.. I just.. I thought you were.. You know.."
"And what if I am Marianne? Does that give you the reason to kiss me?"
"Dr Spencer.. I.. just forget what happened" she says and tries to leaves but I realize what has happened.. Marianne was gay as well..
"Marianne stop.." she stops but doesn't look at me straight in my face.. "What was that? Why you kissed me?"
"I am sorry.."
"Why you kissed me Marianne?"
"I think you can understand why Dr Spencer.. But clearly I was wrong.."
"Marianne, you weren't wrong.. I know what people say behind my back but they don't know if it's true or not.. For them I might be gay just because I always say no.. They assume that I am.."
"But you said that I am not wrong.. So you are gay"
"Yes, I am.. And I am with someone that I am in love with and care deeply for.. We have been together for a year now.."
"I am sorry again that I kissed you.. Let's forget what happened.." she is about to leave again when I tell her to wait for a second..
"Marianne, I hope that this will stay between you and me.. And I want you to know that I won't tell anyone about this.. So your secret is safe with me.."
"Thank you Dr.. And your secret is safe with me.."
This hospital wouldn't stop to amaze me every day.. First Nick now Marianne.. And Marianne was gay.. How I didn't see it before? And I am always working with her.. Either she was really good at hiding it or I didn't have a gaydar.. And I am afraid that I didn't have a gaydar..
TBC
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