Chapter 5: poor me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
….. omg, everyone at my school is gonna die.
It was 6 A.M in the morning, almost all of Seiretei was asleep... but it seems like one person rises REAL early... Gin was asleep in his pajamas... kind. He was wearing a white tee shirt and black pants. When someone called him using a hell butterfly...
Hell butterfly (Dude): Captian Ichimaru.
Gin: eghalfsad. Hmmm. (still asleep)
Dude: captain Ichimaru!
Gin: glah *turns away from Dude*
Dude: *snaps* CAPTAIN Ichimaru! WAKE THE $^#% UP!
Gin: WAH! *falls out of bed.*
Dude: Jesus Christ, he even grins when he falls out of bed. A message from captain Yamamoto: Captain Ichimaru! Please come to the 1st division immediately
Gin: WTF, it's 6 AM, crazy old Geezer. *shunpos to the first division.*
Yamamoto:... Captain Ichimaru!... you're frowning...
Gin: *all traces of a smile are erased, and are replaced by a big frown* what the hell do you want at 6 AM in the morning?
Yamamoto:... it concerns Cooly.
Gin: *grins again* so what's my mission?
Yamamoto: jeez, Cooly and Ichimaru are such good friends... I should use that motive more often. Well, about the Hollow incident yesterday...
Gin: IT WASN'T ME!
Yamamoto: calm down, I know it wasn't your fault now... but it seems the barricade has weakened... we need you to go there and eliminate any hollows immediately. Everyone in America can see them, so you need to exterminate the as quickly as possible.
Gin:... can I live in Cooly's house?
Yamamoto: I just contacted her dad, he said as long as you don't destroy their house, you're all good. You leave at 10 AM, the gate to the living world has not been working, so it will take at least 2 hours to get there.
Gin:... bye!
And thus... I was gonna be put through hell... or fun at my school... but hell when he gets to my house... "=.= (it's because of sleep battling I say this)
4 hours later Gin left for America... and some very interesting things happened... they are all connected.
Ukitake: *yawns* I'm gonna make some tea...
well, Gin is very considerate, he left almost all of the captains a farewell gift...
Ukitake: hmm, *sips "tea"* taste a little funny... kind of like coffee... crap, it is coffee!
before he could drink water, his mind went blank... I will show you later what happens...
Gin just left a bunch of pranks like broken cups, silly string, all of that stuff... but Ukitake's prank would bring misfortune to Seiretei...
Shunsui: seems like Gin left us some farewell gifts... hmm, I wonder what Gin left Ukitak-
he was cut off when something sprang right in front of him.
Shunsui: Ukitake! What are you do-
Ukitake: *kisses Shunsui and runs as fast as he can to the other divisions.*
Shunsui:...? Gin... what on earth did you give Ukitake?
And after about, 2 hours, chaos...
Yamamoto: I've issued this emergency meeting... mainly to ask, who gave Joushiro coffee?
Aizen: who else would?
Yamamoto: Gin, that boy. What am I going to do with him.
Toushiro: hold on, I'm a bit confused... I didn't know Ukitake got hyper.
Kira: that's right! Since you weren't there at THAT time... *shudders*
Rangiku:... guh, it's one of the rare times I think someone is more destructive than Ginny.
Toushiro: whoa whoa, back it up! What happened?
Yamamoto: I will tell you... a long time ago, just when coffee had arrived at Seiretei, Gin and Ukitake decided to try some, at the time, Joushiro favored Gin because he was a kid. They both drank it, it had some traumatizing effects for them though. Caffine. The one thing neither of them should have. Because Gin was a child, he couldn't consume that much and quickly burnt out in an hour or so... but Joushiro was a man... he drank 3 cups... he was bouncing for 6 days strait. They were both loose... it was awful.
Kira:... but I don't think it will be as bad as last time though... he only had 1 cup, and I smelled the cup, Gin was merciful and decaffeinated it a bit... 8 hours at most.
Shunsui: so what should we do?
Yamamoto: evacuate the entire Gotei 13 and head underground, do not hesitate to blast a Kido spell at Ukitake.
Meanwhile... in my house...
Me:... okay, you can sleep in my room since you can't sleep anywhere else... on three condition.
Gin: yes?
Me: you will sleep in my closet like Rukia does in Ichigo's house... don't worry, my closet is pretty big, and I don't have much clothes... second condition... you must supervise for any field trips i have... third condition... NO MORE SLEEP BATTLING! (see truth or dare to the extreme to know what I'm talking about.)
Gin:... okay.
Mom: NO! YOU WILL NOT HAVE A BOY SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU!
Me and Gin: what about Harribel and Etapa?
Mom:... I trust them! But he is an older man! He might take advantage of you!
Me:...
Gin...
Me: forgive me mother, but WHAT THE HELL?
Gin: you would really think I would do that? come on, I've slept in your house before!
Mom: on a different floor.
Me: and plus, he's gonna sleep in a closet.
Gin: yup, I moved all of my stuff in already, so...
Me and Gin: HAH!
Mom: oh dear, it's like you multiplied like Naruto does, changing the appearance of the clone you make.
Me:... you've been watching too many animes!
Gin: yeah!that's fiction! This is the real deal!
Dad: uh, huh, well, have fun... and don't you touch Cooly or I will be merciless.
Gin: kay, kay, geez, ye little faith?
Me:... haha we're gonna have so much...
Mom and dad: *gives the warning glare*
Gin: good, studying together...
Mom: have fun!
Dad: *hands something to me* if gin tries to do anything to you, press this button.
Me:... I don't think I will ever need to use this button, but for the sake of you, I won't throw it away.
Dad: that's a good girl, now you go and have some fun STUDYING.
Gin: *salutes* yes sir!
we both rush upstairs before it gets any more awkward than it was then...we play a few jokes and go to sleep... but in Seiretei.. things are a little different.
Kira: CAPTAIN AIZEN! NOOOOO!
Aizen:... this is the end... goodbye.
Ukitake comes down and smashes a giant... bottle of sake? (Shunsui's division probably) onto Aizens head.
Kira: why? why did you throw away your life so easily?
Mom: CAPTAIN AIZEN! *sniff* Captain Ukitake... why?
Ukitake: MWAHAHA! I LIKe chOcoLATe milk!
Yamamoto:... your sacrifice will be remembered...
Renji:... Captain Aizen... I'm GONNA GO IN FOR THE BODY!
Kira and Rukia: NO!
Renji: it was nice knowing you guys. *runs to Aizens body/corpse.*
Ukitake: I won't let you pazz! *dives for Renji*
Renji: catch! *tosses Aizen's body to Yamamoto.
Ukitake: hello little buddy... *grabs Renji from behind and drags him into the darkness.*
Shunsui: "=.= Ukitake...
Byakuya: "=.= Abarai... how am I gonna find a replacement?
…. a few hours later...
Kira: CAPTAIN SHUNSUI! NOOOOOOOOO!
Shunsui: *gulps* hehe, I was careless, getting caught by the enemy... goodbye, everyone.
Rangiku: NOOOOOO! MY DRINKING BUDDY!
Ukitake: say hello to my little fr- *collapses*
Yamamoto: finally, the sugar rush/caffeine rush is over...
Toushiro:.. hey... is Ukitake okay? Blood is coming out of his mouth.
Unoahana:... I'll treat him with Aizen... but I'll treat him at Ichimaru's division... for some reason that division is untouched...
Soi fon: let's go check...
and there, hanging from the entrance, the back entrance, the west gate, and the east gate, were pieces of paper written on them: "Evil stay out of this area." but on Gin's door was: "Evil, be gone!" everyone sweat dropped...
Byakuya:... talismans? That Ichimaru is smarter than he appears.
Yamamoto: what is the damage report?
Dude (the hell butterfly): the damages in Division 1... 3 burnt down buildings, 5 bathrooms filled with marshmallows (melted), all of the paper work was either burnt or shredded. Graffiti along the west halls, food scattered everywhere... and 5 bodies... the second division... half of the buildings were burnt down and all of the water works are messed up... the third division, no casualties.
The fourth division, all of the medical supplies are wrecked, practically the entire Division itself was either smashed to bits, or burnt down... except a persimmon tree. The fifth division... Captain Aizen might be dead... so I guess one casualty. The floorboards are rigged, and there are traps everywhere. 5 butterflies went in... only one came out... barely alive... poor guys... division 6:... you can go see for yourself... the entire division is drowned in feathers.
Division 7: injured men and the entire west wing is gone. Division 8:... the same as division 4. Division nine... all of the entrances are super glued shut. Division 10... candy everywhere. Division 11: posters of Unicorns everywhere... and half of the division is destroyed... division 12... all of the experiments were destroyed, Captain Kurotsuchi is still in a state of shock... and Division 13 is untouched. That concludes the damage report.
Yamamoto: *face palms himself* uhg... well, it's still better than last time.
Dude: I agree... wasn't all of Seiretei Burnt down?
Yamamoto:... let's not talk about that... I wonder if Gin's karma is getting back to him...
but it was the exact opposite.
Gin was dreaming about blowing hueco mundo up... the end.
Okay first of all... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a long time but my computer had so many viruses I couldn't even acess my file, in the end we ended up deleting all of em and restarting my computer... but that's why I have back up! Everything was saved on my flash drive! So I'm REAL sorry about the HUGE delay.
Yours truly,
Cooly :)