Alright! I hope you guys enjoyed that long side story, but now it's back to what you guys came for: a review.
As I mentioned in the main fic, I'm hoping that you guys will start sending in shorter fics for me to review from now on. Not that I'll never, ever review a longer fic ever again, but I can't burn myself out on multi-part reviews all the time. If the fic I get is really bad, length won't matter, but I'd prefer them to be shorter from now on, please and thank you.
Also, I'm still looking for Halloween fics for the main fic, as in bad horror-themed or scary fics. I have a couple I'm looking at already, but I can always use more choices.
Anyway, today's story comes recommended by Roving Otter. Yeah, that's right, Roving Otter reads this. How's that for some street cred? I would normally say the expected "know who to thank/blame depending on what you think" spiel here, but…there is simply no way you can disagree with Otter's choice. You just can't. It's that bad. You'll see.
I'd tell you to get ready, but…it won't help. Let's just go.
/
The theater had a tendency to make the participants ask a lot of questions. About themselves, their status in the world as a whole, how the worlds were brought together, why they were being brought together, who The Host was, and so forth.
But some of the questions were a bit more personal than that. And one of those questions was running through Crona's mind a lot lately. That question being:
Why do I keep coming back?
It seemed as though he had no real reason for returning to the theater over and over, yet he did so anyway. He sometimes wondered if he was secretly a masochist, what with the sheer amount of torture that he went through whenever he went there.
Some part of his brain felt a strange obligation to return over and over again. Like it was a job, except he wasn't getting paid for it or rewarded in any way. At first, he suspected that The Host had a hand in it, doing something to his mind to make him keep coming back. But after actually talking to The Host, he realized that there was a limit to his power. He didn't know what that limit was, and it didn't eliminate the possibility that he was behind it, but it did cast some doubt on the theory.
There was also the possibility that Crona could easily be replaced if he left. That someone else could be brought in and have to go through everything he went through. The Host had said as much when he spoke to him. And that wasn't at all fair to them. No one deserved to go through what he went through. The Host had picked him, and whether he liked it or not, he had to stay.
Besides, it hadn't been all bad. If not for the theater, he never would've made his new friends, and Crona knew he would've regretted that. And that was also partially why he kept coming back, to stay in touch with them.
But now he was wondering why he had to come back for this one session in particular.
To say that he had had a rough week would be a vast understatement. It was one of the most tiring experiences of his life, both physically and emotionally. The Host probably would've understood if Crona decided to take a session off to recover, so why didn't he try to do that?
Crona concluded that he had to come back this time, for his own sake. He had promised himself that he would conquer this problem of his, and the theater had been a main source of his stress for a long time now. If he was going to overcome his anger problem, he had to face the theater, the story, and by extension, some of his fans, head on.
After all, that's what Maka would've done.
"So…" Maka started, stretching as they walked down the stairs to the front row. "What do you think we're going to be stuck with today?"
Crona shrugged. "I can't even begin to guess…"
Maka placed a finger under her chin, humming slightly as she thought. She then placed her hands together in front of her, an overdramatic sad look on her face.
"Maybe we'll get one where Medusa was just misunderstood, and that she wasn't actually the psychotic monster that we all that thought she was!"
Crona couldn't help but smirk a little at the stupidity of the concept. "S-Sadly, I think that's actually happened…"
"What makes you say that?"
"I don't know…just a gut feeling…"
Maka frowned, wondering if she'd gone a little far. She quickly came up with another idea, hoping it'd make up for it.
"Or maybe, through some convoluted mishmash of stupidity, we'll have to go to…normal high school!" she exclaimed, before placing the back of her hand on her forehead. "Oh, the drama! The trauma! …and the other drama!"
Crona started to snicker, placing a hand over his mouth to contain his laughs.
"O-OK…" he replied, his voice muffled by his hand. "I-I know that one's been done before…"
Maka grinned. "Well, that only makes it even more likely that we'll have to do it, won't it? Hope you're ready for the exciting stories of…studying for the big test! And who's going to ask who to the dance? And let's not forget the big sports game that everyone will care about!"
Crona's gave another few snickers, moving his hand away and wiping at his eye.
"I-I'm actually wondering why we haven't had more crossovers…" he said as they reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Yeah, I've been wondering that too…" Maka replied. "You'd think there'd be a Maximum Ride crossover by now, if it pops up as much as you've told me it does."
"Yeah…and let's not forget all the big series that we've probably crossed over with already…like Fullmetal Alchemist, DragonBall Z, Naruto…"
Maka gave a loud "bleh", grimacing at the concept. "That's all I need…to hang out with more than one Black*Star…"
She then sighed as the two of them took their seats.
"But, knowing our luck, it'll either be another story with you and Kid, or one with me and Soul."
Crona shuddered involuntarily. "J-Just as long as nothing like last time happens…"
"Oh, I'm sure it won't…no way anyone would be so stupid as to do…that again."
Crona turned and stared at Maka for a few seconds, his face expressionless.
"…is it sad that I sort of wanted to believe that?" Maka asked.
"N-Not really…" Crona replied.
Suddenly, that all-too familiar splortch rang out, as Ragnarok emerged from Crona's back. He crossed his arms and glared down at Crona, already annoyed.
"Does it really make any fucking difference? We already know how it's gonna turn out. It's gonna be total crap, we're going to question the author's sanity, if we're lucky we'll find something to laugh at, but in the end we'll just-"
"MAKA CHOP!"
Ragnarok let out a yell of combined surprise and pain, holding his now dented head. He whipped around and glared at Maka.
"What the fuck was that for?"
Maka grinned, holding her book up. "Just consider it my little way of saying "welcome back"."
"Oh, yeah, I'm feeling very fucking welcomed right now! Yeah, I got that warm fuzzy feeling inside, alright!"
"You say that as though you've actually felt that before."
"Well, getting clobbered on the skull for no good reason has introduced the feeling to my blackened heart!"
"…you have a heart?"
"I could ask you the same thing, you friggin' psycho!"
"Aw, it was just a little tap. I was practically showing you affection."
"If that's how you show affection, how come the rest of your buddies don't have dents in their heads?"
"You're a special case."
"Hah! The only "special" one here is-"
Ragnarok stopped when he heard what distinctly sounded like laughter coming from Crona. Small, quiet laughter, but laughter nonetheless. Both Maka and Ragnarok looked at him in confusion.
"…the fuck are you laughing at?" Ragnarok asked.
"W-Well…it's weird, but…" Crona started, before smiling at the both of them. "I missed this…it makes me feel like things are normal again…"
Maka stared at Crona in slight surprise, but smiled back. Ragnarok, however, grabbed Crona's head and tilted it up.
"Did you start drinking tree sap every morning or something? I swear, you were not this girly a month ago!"
"Hey." Maka warned, poking Ragnarok's back. "Watch it, mister."
"Oh whatever! You're gonna chop me no matter what, so what's the point in warning me?"
"Well, you could always reduce the number of chops you get…"
Crona decided it'd be best to move on, and grabbed his first fanmail letter.
Crona: Im not going to drop this whole you becomeing a docter thing because if nothing else your anime counter part proved beyond a doubt you make one hell of a Badass Labcoat
"I-I'm still thinking about it…it's a lot to consider…"
Maka: If you were going to lose your ability to use a wepon and become one who would you whant to be your miester Note You can choose what kind of wepon you will become to fit your choice's fighting style
"Well, the anime has apparently already chosen which weapon I would be…not that it matters, since I don't have the slightest clue who could be my meister."
She then paused, getting the odd impression that someone was staring at her.
"…Crona, do you even know if you could use two weapons at once?" she asked.
Crona flushed, looking down at his feet. "W-Well…I-I could try…"
Maka sighed, shaking her head with a smile on her face, before choosing to open the next letter.
Maka: What would happen if Spirit died?
Maka sighed. "Why do you have to ask such a stupid question? I may not necessarily like him, but he's still my dad. Obviously I'd be upset."
Crona: I think that you should do drastic measures to bring out Ragnarok. As in you must get a close friend to stab you in the back repeatedly until Ragnarok comes out to try and stop them. Have you thought of that?
Crona frowned. "…that's not a very subtle way of telling me you want me to die."
"You expect subtlety from these people, Crona?" Maka asked.
"…good point."
Ragnarok: If you're Crona's blood then aren't you able to take control of his body using it? It's what they did in Avatar the Last Airbender?
"Well, I couldn't do it before…" Ragnarok started, before rubbing his hands together. "But now that I've got some souls in me…"
Crona looked up at Ragnarok, eyes wide with fear. "R-Ragnarok, please-"
"Oh, shut up. I'm just going to see if I can."
Ragnarok then shut his eyes, scrunching his face in concentration.
"Just give me a few seconds…maybe I can move a finger or-"
WHAP!
It was then that Crona's arm suddenly swung up, the back of his hand smacking Ragnarok in the face. He gave a shout of surprise and pain, before glaring down at Crona.
"You son of a bitch, what was that for?"
"Th-That wasn't me! Y-You must've moved it!"
Ragnarok then grabbed a couple of handfuls of Crona's hair and started pulling.
"You know that that was all you, you lying sack of shit!"
"Owowowowow!"
"MAKA CHOP!"
Ragnarok let out another cry of pain, holding his head while glaring at Maka. He then glared down at Crona.
"This is why you wanted me to come back? You enjoy torturing me, don't you?"
"I-I don't know what you're talking about! Th-That was you! You moved my arm!"
"You are the worst liar in the world!"
"Moving on!" Maka shouted, grabbing the next letter.
MAKA:Cronas terrible do ya know that letter he toer up last time he did that cuz i was calling him out on what he was doing hes been telling raven subarashi that you to are a couple AND that youv gone alllll the way i felt i had to warn you as one girl to another you deserve way better
Maka stared at the letter for a few seconds, before squinting and looking it over again. She then looked up at the screen.
"I'm sorry, what?"
Crona sighed. "Not her again…"
"You know this one?" Maka asked.
"Yeah…she sent a letter in when I was with the others, saying pretty much the same thing, except that I had told you Raven and I were a couple…"
Maka stared at Crona for a few seconds, before a smirk came over her face. "Seriously?"
"Yeah…"
Maka sighed, crumpling the letter and tossing it aside.
"Honestly, how stupid do people think I am?"
She shook her head before grabbing the next letter and opening it.
Dear Maka, Whenever you and Soul hunt Kishin eggs, their bodies disappear, right? Would a person's body disappear if they died naturally?
"Well, if Sid's anything to go by…"
"But he didn't really die naturally…" Crona explained. "Falling and impaling your head on something isn't a natural death…"
"Yeah, that's true…but still, I have this theory that Sid isn't actually in his old body. That Professor Stein made an artificial body and put Sid's soul in it. I mean, his facial structure is pretty different from when he was alive…"
"He hasn't said anything about that…but what would he have made the artificial body from…?"
Maka and Crona stared at one another for a second, before Maka sighed.
"This is a lot harder to figure out than it should be…"
"Y-Yeah…"
Dear Crona, Since you keep reminding us, I understand that what you wear is a robe, but what about that cute little outfit you wore when you were small? Was that a robe too?
Crona flushed. "L-Let's not talk about that…"
Maka sighed as she gently wrapped an arm around Crona's shoulders. "Crona, you know it wouldn't matter, right?"
"H-Huh?"
Maka smiled. "You could walk around wearing a giant chipmunk mascot outfit, and it wouldn't change anything. You'd still be you."
Crona flushed slightly, letting a smile appear on his face. "I-I guess…b-but I'd still look pretty silly…"
Maka giggled, squeezing Crona a bit before opening the next letter.
Maka: Are you considering writing a book? If so, what genera?
"No, I'm not actually. I might in the future, but right now I don't see myself doing it. As much as I like to read, sitting down and writing a book seems like too much work."
Crona: Can't you force Ragnarok out of yer back? Or even conjure him as a sword? Is he dead?
"No, he's here…"
Maka glared up at Ragnarok, crossing her arms. "You never did explain why you were gone for so long."
Ragnarok snorted, imitating Maka's movements. "Maybe I just got sick of having to see you 24/7."
Rather than wait for the argument to escalate, Crona grabbed the next letter off of the pile.
Maka:
Which movie you think is the scariest? The nightmare on elm street(1984 original) or Halloween(1978 orignal).
"Out of the two? Halloween. Nightmare was pretty creepy and nasty, but Halloween was just generally scarier. It wasn't up in your face with the horror like most movies these days. It was a lot more low-key and quiet, and that made it all the scarier."
Have you ever racist person during your missions? If so how did you deal with that person?.
"Most of the time we just ignored them. At least, if Soul didn't get annoyed and smack them around a bit."
Crona:
what is the most creepiest moments you evered faced?
"…we'd be here all day if I listed them all…"
Since witches are immortal does that mean your hundreds of years old then?
"J-Just because my mother was a witch doesn't mean I am…"
Crona&Maka:
If you ever hed the chance to interview a character from another anime who would it be?
Maka shrugged. "Couldn't even begin to tell you. Considering how many animes are out there, picking just one would take a while."
She then grabbed the next letter. "Though if more guest stars show up, outside of our world, we might wind up talking to one of them anyway."
Crona frowned. "Do you think The Host would bring someone from another world here when it's just us…?"
"I don't see any reason why he wouldn't."
Maka:
Do meisters have a specific type they specialize with?.Am asking this because in the manga Steins first weapon was a sycthe then later in the story it shows that he can also be a hammer meister.
"Well, it sort of depends on the meister. I trained specifically in scythes because that's what my mother used, but Black*Star trained with a number of different weapons, which is why he wound up with a Dark Arm in Tsubaki. But some people don't train at all, and only start practicing with a specific weapon after they meet their partner. Not the fastest way to make a Death Scythe, but it is easier to find a partner that way."
Maka then frowned, grabbing her next letter. "Professor Stein is a special case, though…"
Maka, what was one of your most embarassing moments?
"…do you really think I'm going to give these people more things to hold over my head?"
Crona, do you have frequent nightmares? And if so, does anyone comfort you afterward?
"…pass."
Maka frowned, then reached over and wrapped her arms around Crona, pulling him close. Crona blinked, face already blushing.
"Crona, you know you can talk to me about these things, right?"
"…would you really want me to tell you every single nightmare that I ever have…?"
"Frankly, yes I would."
Crona blinked in surprise, turning to look at Maka. Maka simply gave him a warm, comforting smile, which only made Crona's blush get brighter.
"…O-OK…" he whispered.
Maka's smile widened, and she gave him a quick squeeze before opening the next letter.
Crona: I think you should try being a doctor! If you pinch you pennies, make Ragnarok a Death-Scythe, and get a good job as a doctor you could have that million you wanted for that house AND have enough to go to Europe and Japan! GO FOR THE GOLD!
"Wait, what's all this about you wanting a million for a house?" Maka asked.
Crona flushed. "I-It was j-just an idea, that's all! I-I was just thinking…you know…me having my own place…later on…"
Maka tilted her head in confusion. "OK…but you don't need a million dollars for your own house, Crona."
"I don't?" he asked, before Ragnarok suddenly leaned forward and glared at Maka.
"Would you shut up? The last thing he needs is more ideas put into his head!"
Maka stared at Ragnarok, her confusion only growing, before she gave up and continued reading the letter.
Maka: What was your first mission with Soul like? Was it filled with awkward conversations? Were you at each other's necks? What was the pre-kishin like?
Maka sighed. "I'll admit, we didn't exactly get along perfectly from day one. We did squabble a bit, but nothing different from how we normally act. And the pre-Kishin…he wasn't anything special. Sad Psycho Norman Bates was pretty much just a guy wearing a dress and swinging a knife around. Child's play."
She blinked as she grabbed the next letter. "…why are all of my pre-Kishins based on horror movie villains?"
Crona shrugged. "Our creator's thing for referencing things…?"
"OK, yeah, but why horror movie villains?"
Ragnarok im so glad yer back this show had NO sex apeel with out you and it was so amazeing how tottaly wiped the floor with that pussy dracula your just so great and HOT ! seiriusly i just love you glad your back xxx
Both Crona and Maka looked at the letter in equal parts shock and disgust. They then slowly looked up at Ragnarok, who looked as though he was about to start throwing up.
"…well, congratulations Ragnarok." Maka quipped. "You officially have a stalker."
Ragnarok looked at Maka for a second, then dove back into Crona's body without another word.
Crona sighed. "Well, I'm probably going to have to convince him to come back out again…"
He then grabbed the last letter and opened it.
Crona:
Do you have multiple robes, all exactly the same, or do you just wear the same one all the time?
"N-No, it's the same one, so I have to wash it a lot…" Crona replied, before blushing. "I-I guess I really do need some other clothes…"
Do you like Classical music?
"Y-Yes, very much, actually…"
Can Ragnarok only come out of you back and chest?
"No, but those are the safest places…he tried coming out of my head once…all the blood rushing up there made me dizzy…"
Do you like horror movies?
"N-No, I d-don't…"
What's your favorite breakfast food?
"…French toast…"
Maka blinked, then sighed. "Oh, come on Crona. Mine wasn't that good."
"Was so…"
Maka shook her head, before pointing at Crona, a smile on her face.
"You, sir, are shameless in your flattery. Shameless, I say."
Crona chuckled slightly, a blush growing on his face while doing so.
Maka:
Ever tried scones?
"I did a couple of times. They weren't bad."
Have you always worn your hair in pigtails?
"For the most part. I tried wearing it in a ponytail when I was younger, but the pigtails just worked better."
Crona flushed, trying as hard as possible to not think of Maka with a ponytail.
Is there anywhee you'd love to vacation?
"Oh, plenty of places. But I hear the Bahamas are pretty nice right now."
Have you ever had any pets?
"Besides Blair, nope."
Do Blair ask to live with you or did she just randomly show up one day?
"She pretty much just showed up at our doorstep, and that was the end of it. She was going to show up regardless of what we did, so we figured it'd just be easier to let her move in."
Maka then got out of her seat and started walking to the table. "Not that that was a bad thing or anything. I'm glad Blair's living with us and all…even if she does have a tendency to cause trouble."
She grabbed the envelope off of the table and opened it, reading the contents inside.
I feel that it is only fair to warn you about the story you are set to review today. I would fully expect you to hate me after this, even more than I'm sure you already do. Nonetheless, if there is any story that needs to be used as an example of how horrible fanfiction can be, it's this one.
I must tell you this: it is almost as bad as "that" story. I'm sure you know which I am referring to. I am not exaggerating in any sense, as you will soon discover for yourselves.
It is called Please Don't Read This Death The Kid, by WishIWasSane102.
Prepare yourselves for the worst.
Maka frowned, walking back to her seat with the letter in her hand. Almost as bad as "that" story? Well, that doesn't say a lot. Most of the stories we've read here were pretty bad. All of the ones we read with the guest stars were bad in their own ways. So what could he mean?
She sat down in her seat and turned to look at Crona. She blinked in surprise when she saw the look of absolute fear on his face.
"Crona…?"
"…th-there's no way…i-it couldn't be…"
He slowly turned to look at Maka, his hands shaking.
"M-Maka…you don't think…did he mean…?"
Maka frowned, wondering what Crona could've meant. Her own eyes widened as it dawned on her what he was talking about.
"…no. No no no." Maka firmly replied. "There is no way. No one could've written anything like that. It's just flat out impossible. That…that was bad on a level that no one can touch."
She stopped, looking back at the letter. She then looked up at Crona again.
"…right?"
Before either of them could think any further, the lights dimmed and the horror show began.
/
Please Do Not Read This Death the Kid
Chapter One
Crona: …normally, I'd be glad that there aren't any author's notes, but now, I don't know…
Maka: Why?
Crona: Just a bad feeling that it means the author might actually be trying with this…
Maka: …that's bad?
Crona: If this is anything like I think it is…
The young Shinigami held his breath as he opened the last box. He had just moved into a new apartment in New York City and was almost finished unpacking.
He needed to open one more box marked 'school days'. But he didn't want to go anywhere near his days in Shibusen. Not that they were bad, they were just…time consuming.
Maka: …"time consuming"? What, is reminiscing that much of a time killer for you?
Taking it like the big college student he was, Kid peered into the box. Pictures, letters, and books stared back at him.
He picked up the first photo that caught his eye, the one of them all together.
Black Star, Tsubaki, Maka, Soul, Liz, Patty and…
Her…
Chrona.
Maka: *sighs, facepalms* Here we go…
He looked closer to see her face clearer. She looked so very uncomfortable.
And he loved it.
He loved how she was always awkward and shy. He loved how she always stuttered and mumbled.
But he hated how he would most likely never see her again.
Crona: *sighs* Please tell me it's just him moping about how we…I mean, him and her, never got together…please tell me it won't go further than that…
He didn't need this right now. Today he was going in for a job interview.
However, he had time so he continued looking inside the box. At the bottom, he felt a book with a leather cover. He pulled it out and his head flooded with memories.
It was an assignment for Sid's class. He paired kids up into groups of two. They had to keep journals and switch them with each other every week.
Kid had no idea why. Journals were supposed to be private…right?
Crona: I'm pretty sure that is the idea…so why would Sid make us do that…?
Sid said it would help us understand each other better. 'It'll help in battle' he said.
Crona: …invading one another's privacy will help in battle?
Maka: *shakes head* That is just mind-numbingly stupid…
But if it said DO NOT READ you weren't to read the entry.
He ran his fingers over the cover and smiled. His partner was Chrona. He remembered how almost every entry said Please Don't Read in that chicken scratch he loved.
Crona: …could you blame me…?
'Well, it was when they were in high school. And we did go our separate ways…'
He glanced at his watch. He'd be late if he didn't hurry. Grabbing the book, he ran out to catch his train.
Maka: *thumbs-up* Way to show that respect for privacy, Kid.
PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS DEATH THE KID
September 15
I really hope you're not reading this. Sid said that if it said don't read you aren't supposed to read. I even said 'please.'
Anyways, I feel awful. I did something really bad. Something that is tearing me up inside. I stole Lady Medusa's perfume.
Crona: …wait, what?
Maka: …OK, so?
Crona: But she never wore perfume…no, wait, I think she might've one time, before the ball…but I have no idea why…
Maka: Well, she did go dancing with Professor Stein then-
Crona: N-Never mind, I r-really don't want to know…
Maybe that seems lame, but I stole it for someone.
Maka Albarn.
Crona: …wait, what?
Maka: Why in the world would I want anything from her?
Everyone assumed I'm such great friends with her.
Both: Because we are.
Maka: …wait…oh God, this is going where I think it's going, isn't it?
Crona: I really, really, really hope not…
Well, I was. In the beginning.
After I got in trouble for putting snakes in Stein's body, she changed.
Maka: *facepalm* Just fan-fucking-tastic…
Everyone else had forgiven me, even the Professor. But I guess some part of her hates me. In front of everyone, she was all smiles. When were alone, it was a different story.
She'd boss me around and if I refused, she'd make me feel extremely guilty. Today she made me steal the perfume. She says it'll make us even.
I know it's a total lie.
Maka: OK, hold on for a second…now, I'm going to assume this is the anime continuity, since that's apparently all you people use to write. In that case, need I remind you that I'm the one who found him? That I'm the one who brought him back and forgave him? Where in anything that happened in that scene told you that I secretly hated him? Here's a clue: there wasn't! It would take a lot, and I mean a lot, for me to truly hate any of my friends, much less Crona!
Crona: …*blush*
That entry weighed on Kid's mind heavily until he heard his name.
"Are you ready?"
Kid sniffed.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
Crona: Wish I could say the same…
Maka: Likewise.
A/N Hope you enjoyed. More to come so review please !
Maka: I would've needed to suffer brain damage the likes of which have never been seen before to have enjoyed this. You need help, and I honestly wish we could just stop right now, because it's blatantly clear it's just going to go further downhill from here.
Please Do Not Read This Death the Kid
Chapter Two
Maka: This should really just be called "Don't Read This Anyone", because that's the most accurate way I can describe how terrible this fic is.
Crona: People would probably still read, if only out of curiosity…
Kid walked into the bright white room. An elderly man behind a desk looked at behind big black spectacles.
"Take a seat," he said motioning to the seat in front of him.
Nodding, Kid took the seat gracefully.
"My name is Robert Freeman… And you are…"
"Um Death The Kid sir," he said extending his right arm.
Maka: *singing* One of these things is not like the others…
Mr. Freeman shook it and stretched back.
"So Kid… do you have your papers present?" he asked.
"I do not need papers,"
Maka: "Papers? We don't need no stinking papers!"
Kid answered slyly, "I just enjoy helping people. Isn't that enough?"
Mr. Freeman chuckled.
"Oh young man I wish it was. Now seriously where are your papers?" he repeated.
The young Shinigami leaned in so that he and his future boss were almost nose to nose.
"I told you. I don't need papers," he said.
"If you want to be a receptionist at a hospital, I need to see proof that you're qualified!" the man said flabbergasted.
Crona: …yeah, Kid, he has a point. Those are kind of important…
This time, Kid chuckled and opened up his jacket. Freeman flinched, but eased up when he saw the young man was just pulling out a small black card.
Slowly, Kid slid the card across the table. Freeman eyes it curiously and Kid almost laughed out loud when he saw his eyes bulge. The man jumped up and Kid followed suit. Out of habit, Kid held his hand out again. Mr. Freeman shook it furiously.
"I-I'll see what I can do Mr. Shinigami!" he cried.
"Make it soon please," Kid smiled, grabbed his book bag and left.
Maka: So, you're going to let an unqualified college student be a receptionist at your hospital just because he's the son of Lord Death?
Crona: And if that's all you needed, wouldn't the fact that his name is Death the Kid have been enough? He doesn't just use that because it sounds cool…
"42 42 564 whenever you want to knock on Death's door," Kid chanted into his bedroom mirror.
Maka: You don't actually have to say that, you know.
"Hiya Kid!" his father cried childishly.
"Hello Father."
"Watsup Watsup! Did you get the job at the hospital?" he asked.
Kid smirked, "Using your card, there was no way in Hell the guy could have refused."
Maka: Abusing power. *thumbs-up* Fun for the whole family!
Lord Death laughed out loud.
"Excellent, excellent! I'm so proud of you. And you look like you're doing okay for yourself," he said.
Crona: Good to know Lord Death approves of said abuse of power…
He nodded.
His Father got solemn then. "You know Kid. You can always come home. Back where you belong."
He shook his head no.
"You don't understand Father. I need to be here. I felt like I had to move on. I wasn't going to stay with you forever," he said with a shrug.
"I understand. Man, I think this is what Spirit was talking about," He said.
"What did Spirit say?"
"Well he said that once your child leaves, you feel empty and void in your chest. But I have a feeling he'll get over it," he said.
Kid was alert. "So that means…Maka left Death City?"
"Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you, Maka left Death City!"
Both: *facepalm*
Maka: Yeah, I think we figured that out, thank you…
Kid frowned. That would have been very good to know earlier.
"Where was she headed?" he asked.
"Everywhere. She wants to see the world. Maybe she'll stop by your way one day."
Kid faked a smile. "Yes. I will call you later Father."
And the mirror went blank again. Kid held his chest which was now beating a thousand times a minute. There was no way he'd be able to see Maka without killing her. She'd hurt Chrona…
Crona: Then it wasn't Maka. It was her evil twin, or a witch disguised as her, or something! This should be obvious! Kid, I am trying very hard to keep calm right now, but your utter stupidity to what's supposed to be blatantly clear is making that very difficult.
His eyes wandered to the couch where the leather booklet lay. He took a deep breath and continued where he left off earlier.
Sept. 20
Crona: …what do you think Kid wrote about, anyway?
Maka: "Dear Journal: I'm a friggin' idiot trapped in a world by an even more idiotic author who is going out of their way to destroy a friendship just to make themselves happy. Also, symmetry is great."
PLEASE DON'T READ THIS DEATH THE KID
So it has been done. Lady Medusa is no more.
You'd think I'd be happy, Journal, but I'm in mourning.
She may have been an evil spirited witch, but that evil spirited witch is…Was my mom.
Crona: Let's not even go there…
It's funny. The person who hates my guts killed my mother. And she couldn't be prouder. I mean Stein and Marie helped a bit but it was mostly Maka…
Maka: OK, just in case it wasn't made clear already…it is impossible for me to hate Crona. Like, it is literally impossible. It cannot be done. And apparently this author knows it too, because they seem to be going out of their way to not explain why this is happening!
Crona: Just wait…it'll be something insanely stupid, like before…
I don't understand why I can't bring myself to tell anyone how I feel. Maybe it is because….
Crona: Because this could never actually happen and everyone involved in this mess is an idiot for even thinking that it could!
*Crona stops, then takes a deep breath*
Maka: …Crona?
Crona: I'm OK…I'm calm…I'm fine…I'm OK…
There is a big wet stain and the page then she continued to write.
Maybe it's because I'm scared that they won't believe what I say. I mean who would you believe? Straight A student Maka Albarn who just killed Shibusen's worst enemy… OR Me. The traitor.
Sorry but I'm afraid I have to cut this short…. Maka is calling e again… And I think she means business
Maka: I never took you as the type to be very business-savvy, Crona.
Crona: That's probably because I'm not…
Kid closed the notebook again and gripped the ends of the notebook. He couldn't believe he didn't even try to help her. What kind of person was he?
Maka: …you know, I take it back. Kid isn't an idiot. No one could be expected to think that this was going on. …and the reason for that is that it would never actually happen, you fucking imbeciles!
A/N REEEAAALLLLLY Short but I had to cut it short to add the ... suspense? Lols . Plus its vacation so I have to rush all of these things
Maka: Here's a plan: Why not take a permanent vacation? As in, from this. As in, stop writing. Or, you can interpret that as me telling you to kill yourself, because really, either option would make me happy!
Please Do Not Read This Death the Kid
A/N Its been a while, but I must again kill you guys with ANOTHER painfully short chappie
Maka: Oh gee, poor us. The chapter is short. How awful.
Crona: Though I have to admit, "killing us" is an appropriate metaphor right now…
*shot*
Both: HOORAY!
Well it wasn't my fault. I thought I wrote a bunch until I typed the whole thing out :-[
Maka: Stop talking and go back to being dead.
Chapter Three
He named it the 'Devil's Notebook.' There are no words to describe how awful you feel reading about your love being harassed. And there is nothing you can do about it.
Both: …
He crashed on the couch later that evening. It was extremely odd…
"Chrrooonnnaaa!"
She shoots up, her body and clothes drenched in sweat. She is clutching her faded sheets in her hand and is frozen with fear.
Crona: Wait, what's going on…?
Maka: …how can he be having a dream sequence about something he didn't actually read?
"H-hello?" she calls.
A figure steps out. It is vaguely Familiar until the point it begins to speak again.
"Ah, you're awake."
Maka.
"Oh… Hello M-Maka," she stutters.
She steps into the room clicking her tongue.
"Why do you seem so afraid?" she asks.
"I'm not!" Chrona squawked.
Crona: …"squawked"? What, did I-…I mean she, turn into a parrot overnight?
Maka: I can safely say it'd be the first time I saw a pink parrot.
Maka cracks her knuckles. Her voice lowers an octave as she says, "Don't raise your voice at me you ugly bitch."
Maka: Excuse me?
Chrona begins to shake. When Maka cussed, she was serious. N-no! She wasn't going to be treated like a pig anymore!
"I am not ugly! And… And I'll do what I want!" she says rather loudly, and her voice cracks.
Her green eyes go dark.
"Are you talking back, pig?" she says.
"You…You're the pig,"
The brunette twitches and pulls her fist back.
The world goes black.
Maka: …what.
Crona: *hits his tray with his fist, causing it to fall to the floor in pieces*
Maka: …Crona…?
Crona: *heavy breathing* I…am…OK…I…am…calm…I…am…in…control…and I am about ten seconds away from tearing this author's lungs out!
Maka: …I'll help…?
Kid shot up and touched his left eye. It felt as if HE were Chrona. It felt so life-like.
He gets up shakily to find the book.
He goes to the next date, October 1st.
"No way…" he whispered a loud. What he had just dreamt, was what that journal entry was about.
Maka: Again, how is this happening?
Kid remembered the day after that.
"What happened?" he had asked.
"Huh? What do you mean?" she answered.
He reached out and smeared the makeup off of her eye, revealing a blue-ish purple-ish color.
"Your eye. I can see behind that makeup Chrona," he said.
"Oh that. I just… ya know…"
"She rammed into a wall last night," Maka butted in.
He glanced at Chrona and who began nodding furiously.
Why did he believe her?
Maka: …I take it back again. If Kid actually believed one of the most overused excuses for a black eye, he's a gigantic idiot.
The sound of his ringing phone brought him out of his flashback. Slowly, he reached for it. The phone read 'Private'. Normally he'd let it ring, but he snatched it off the dock.
"Hello?" he asked.
The person on the other end shrieked.
"Kid! Omigosh, hey!"
The Shinigami dropped the telephone.
Maka: Well, looks like one of his fangirls found his phone number.
Crona: …wait, we use mirrors to communicate. What's Kid doing with a regular phone…?
Maka: …I figured you'd jump on the fangirl comment over the inconsistency.
Crona: Definitely not in the mood to do that…
Please Do Not Read This Death the Kid
A/N Um …. Akward …. IM SORRRRYYY ! Next chapter AFTER LIKE 5 YEARS !
Maka: That's probably a sign that you should just stop. If the fact that your work is godawful wasn't enough already!
Chapter Four
He thought his heart stopped.
"Hello? Kid? You there?"
He hit the end call button on the phone. He felt his body crumple onto the couch. There's no way he could keep a conversation with that witch without going insane.
Crona: What witch? …Kim? Angela? I'm not getting it.
Maka: Somehow, I get the feeling he wasn't being literal…
The phone rang again. He glanced at it and threw a pillow at it to muffle the sound.
XO
Maka: I fail to see how that's appropriate to the current situation.
Crona: …what? Is it another one of those…emoticons?
Maka: Yeah, actually.
Crona: *tilts head* …maybe it's trying to say this is going to kill us?
Maka: Sounds about right.
She stared at the telephone in her hand. Maybe the call dropped...?
She sighed and placed her hand in her palms.
"Um… Maka?"
She glanced up.
The girl before her was beautiful. Her skin was softer than a rose, not a blemish anywhere. She had her pink hair tied back into a ponytail.
Maka: Gee, I wonder who this is supposed to be…
She was a holding a small child, one that was a mirror of his mother and father.
Maka: …oh goddammit, fic. You couldn't just skip that, could you?
"What?" she snapped.
"Junior fell asleep. I thought you'd want to hold him a while before he wakes up," she said quietly.
Maka stood and yanked the baby out of Chrona's arms.
Maka: Yeah, great parenting skills there, bitch.
"I thought I told you not to hold him," she growled placing the baby in the crib.
Sweat began to break out on the poor girl's face. "Oh…Well, he fell asleep on the cold floor. And Soul isn't here so I thought…" she stopped when she saw Maka growing angrier.
"Just… leave. Leave before I change my mind about kicking your ass into next year," she said.
Maka: That'll only happen if I somehow don't get to you first.
She backed out of the room slowly.
"W-wait, Chrona," Maka said, toning her voice down a little.
"Yes?"
"Do you remember… Kid?" she asked.
"W-who?" she asked
Maka: OK, it's kind of late to point this out…but why the hell is she still with her if she's married, and has treated her like shit all this time?
Crona: …considering who I lived with for most of my life…
Maka: That was because you didn't have a choice in the matter. Now you do. So it still doesn't make any sense.
Maka smiled to herself. "Perfect. Now go into the basement. We have to run another test."
Maka: …wait a second, what?
Crona: …no…she…she wouldn't actually…there's no way this author would…
XO
PLEASE DON'T READ THIS DEATH THE KID
Maka: …Crona? What's going on?
Crona: …this isn't happening…I am not seeing this…there's no way this is actually happening…
October 31
It's Halloween today. Black*Star and Kid asked me if I wanted to go to a party with them. I really did. It hurt turning them down, but I couldn't go.
Why?
Maka said no.
She said she needed me. She was crying that she needed me! I couldn't believe it. She looked so vulnerable; I could've kicked her while she was down. But I didn't. Only Lord Death knows why. Everything that she's done to me flew out the window, and I embraced her.
I actually she believed she had changed.
Maka: Crona? Crona, I don't understand! What's wrong?
Crona: She wouldn't…she would never…she never did, but everyone thinks she did…and this author wouldn't…she wouldn't even consider…
But she didn't. Right after she calmed down, she tied me to a table. A cold table. She had ripped off my dress, leaving me naked and exposed. I didn't even recognize her and as soon as she grabbed that scalpel, memories of Mother flew into my mind. I glanced around the room. In the dim lighting, I saw Soul Eater.
He was looking at me. Right at me. But he didn't say a thing. I could see pain in his crimson eyes. What could he do? I mean, he loved Maka and was supposed to follow her with everything. But… The pain of the scalpel in my side.
Unbearable.
I can't even look at myself anymore. I'm what Black*Star usually calls Ox… A pussy…
Both: *shocked silence*
Kid glanced at his watch. Sighing, he pulled on his jacket. If he didn't get out of the apartment quickly, he'd be late for work.
A/N Again, Im reaaalllly Sorry for not updating for so long. But my friend has inspired me to continue. And if she's reading this, I hope she feels better.
Maka: …I feel sick…
/
The lights turned back on and the show ended, but Maka and Crona couldn't stop looking at the screen. It seemed so unlikely that they would've ever seen something like that unfold before them, yet they did.
Maka was far too stunned to even decide how to react. To get angry, to be upset, to turn and comfort Crona, who had to have been going through the same thing she was going through…she wanted to do something, but she was still so shocked by what she saw.
Luckily, Crona made the decision for her.
She blinked when Crona suddenly got out of his seat, his head lowered and his face not visible. She could hear him breathing very heavily, and he was shaking violently. More than Maka had ever seen him shake, even when he was scared.
He slowly took a step forward. Then a second. Then a third. After a couple more, he stopped, standing directly in front of the screen. He was still shaking like a leaf.
When he spoke, even his voice shook.
"M-Maka…p-please…leave…"
Maka instinctively got to her feet, even though she had no idea why Crona had asked her to go. She didn't even want to leave, but something in Crona's voice was telling her that she should.
"Crona…" she started.
"Please, Maka…I…I don't want you to see this…"
It wasn't hard to figure out just what was going to happen. Especially considering Crona's shaking had somehow gotten worse.
Maka slowly turned to face the stairs, starting to shake a little as well.
"I…I'll wait for you outside…" she whispered.
Without waiting for an answer, she found herself running up the stairs and out the doors.
She collapsed against the wall beside the doors, slumping down and sitting on the floor. She put a hand over her mouth, breathing heavily, trying to calm herself down.
Quit it. she ordered herself. You're being ridiculous. There is no way you would do that. You know that. You would NEVER hurt him like that. Stop it.
Her breathing slowly returned to normal, and she wiped at her mouth, still not sure what was going to happen.
She knew that she would never hurt Crona in that way, but now she couldn't help but wonder if someone else had. Or if someone else would. The image of him strapped down to a cold table, while someone loomed over him, eager to pick him apart and see what made him tick…it just couldn't leave her mind.
…God, is this what he went through? Maka wondered. When Soul raped me in that story? …no wonder it stuck with him for so long…
She slowly reached up and held her arms, shivering slightly at the idea. It was such a horrible concept, and she had just witnessed it…and she had been the one to do it. For reasons she couldn't even begin to figure out.
No, STOP. It wasn't you. It was NOT you. Stop that right now.
Two sounds brought Maka out of her thoughts. Two sounds that she was very familiar with.
One was Crona's vicious, unyielding roar. The other was Ragnarok's unique, banshee-like cry.
It wasn't long before she heard the first wave of energy hit the screen, going through and hitting the equipment behind it with a loud SMASH.
She heard another one go. And another. And yet another. Again and again, she could hear the energy waves fly out, crashing into the electrical equipment and completely obliterating it.
And with each wave, she heard Crona screaming. Over and over, again and again. Sometimes it was short, rapid shouts, and sometimes it descended into one long, continuous scream. She could sometimes hear him call the name of an attack, while other times he was saying something else. What, Maka couldn't exactly make out, his screaming far too loud and constant to make it possible for her to decipher.
She couldn't help but feel guilty for his current actions. Though she personally had done nothing wrong, she could figure out that his reactions were because of what the author had thought of her, not of him. It wasn't any different than any of the other times he had acted like this over the past week or so.
Still, at least he was only attacking inanimate objects. He'd get it out of his system and then things would be OK.
It was then that she heard the sound of breaking wood and stone.
She then heard it again, and a third time. On the fourth, she heard something fall down, and actually felt the ground shake beneath her. She looked at the doors, wondering just what Crona was doing in there.
Had he stopped attacking the screen? Was he attacking the walls now? The floor? The ceiling?
Was he trying to destroy the entire theater?
Get up. she told herself. You have to get in there. He could be putting himself in danger.
Despite trying to tell herself that she had to move, her body wouldn't listen. She could hear Crona screaming more and more, destroying more in the room. He could've been about to bring the whole roof down on his head.
Then, just as she was about to try and force herself to move again, the screaming stopped. There was nothing coming out from the room but painfully long silence.
She was already starting to assume the worst. She thought she was too late. That Crona had already hurt himself, or worse.
She then heard Crona give out one last loud, furious scream. It wasn't much, but it was enough indication that he was alive.
She slowly forced herself to her feet, but didn't move any further. She could hear footsteps coming closer to the door, and she couldn't help but be worried.
One of the doors slowly opened, and Crona slipped out from behind it, the door swinging shut before Maka could see what had happened.
Later on, Maka would notice the dust and bits of debris on Crona's robe. But right then, all she could see was his face. The total lack of expression on it. The tiredness in his eyes. The fact that he was just staring straight ahead, seemingly not even realizing that she was there.
Maka carefully walked over and gently grasped his hand. She looked up at him, waiting to see what he would do.
All that happened was that she felt his hand squeeze hers.
It was all she needed. She pulled Crona along beside her and headed back home.
/
Epilogue
Maka was incredibly thankful that it was later in the day and that there weren't as many people hanging around the academy. She knew the image of her pulling Crona into his own room would've raised more than a few eyebrows, but she doubted she would've really cared. Her place was no good, since Soul or Blair could still walk in at any time. And they needed privacy, which Crona's room would provide.
It didn't help that the only piece of furniture in his room was his bed. Maka made a mental note to fix that in the future.
Crona was already sitting on the edge of his bed as Maka closed the door. She turned and walked over, sitting beside him, and trying to not think too much about the implications.
Granted, he's been in my room and I've been in here before…so why does this feel so weird…? she wondered.
She quickly shoved those thoughts aside and turned to look at Crona. She had been expecting him to suddenly burst into tears at his actions, or frantically apologize, or try to give some explanation for it.
But instead, he just sat there, staring straight ahead, that blank expression still on his face.
Suffice to say, Maka did not like this.
She inched closer to him, before wrapping one of her arms around his shoulders and placing her other hand on his far cheek. She slowly pulled him closer, getting him to lean towards her and rest his head on her shoulder. She quietly laid her head on his, hoping that this would be enough to provoke some reaction out of him.
It took a few minutes, but soon enough, Crona slowly moved so that he was more comfortable, then wrapped his arms around Maka's middle, still resting on her shoulder.
The two sat there in silence, Maka thankful that at least some progress had been made. Still, she didn't like how quiet Crona was being. She realized that she would have to convince him to talk.
"…are you OK?" she whispered.
"No."
It was very blunt and honest. A part of Maka was glad that he was being honest, but the fact that he was so curt about it wasn't as good.
Before she could really think about it, she was asking the question that had been on her mind since the session ended.
"…Crona…did she ever-"
"No, she didn't." Crona answered. "…a lot of people think she did, but she didn't…not like that. It wasn't efficient…"
The amount of bitterness in Crona's voice surprised Maka, but she still got her answer. So if it wasn't memories, what was making Crona act like this?
"…look, Crona…" she started. "I'm not upset with you or anything. I don't blame you for reacting like that. If I wasn't so busy feeling like I was going to be sick, I probably would've reacted too."
Crona didn't move, or make any noises that he'd heard her.
"…Crona, there's nothing wrong with being mad at the author-"
"I'm not mad at the author."
That took Maka by surprise. "…you're not?"
"…well…not right now, anyway…"
Now Maka was getting confused. If it wasn't the author that set him off, who was it?
No, wait, he said he wasn't mad at the author right now…that doesn't mean the author didn't set him off… she thought.
"…then…who are you mad at?" she asked.
The room grew quiet for a few seconds, before Crona said one word.
"Me."
Maka looked down at Crona, even more confused than before.
"…what do you mean?"
She heard Crona give a small sigh, before he started to explain.
"…the other day, you called me strong, Maka." he started. "But that it was a special kind of strong. The kind that only appeared when it was needed the most. Even then, you called me strong…and it meant so much to me that you would think so highly of me, Maka…"
Maka blushed slightly at the fact that Crona viewed her opinion as so important.
"And I want to prove you right…I want to make that be true…" he continued. "So, I told myself that I was going to get this under control…that I was going to stop being so angry at everything, that I wasn't going to freak out at the slightest problem…and I was actually starting to get it under control…"
Maka felt Crona tense up, his voice becoming rigid. "But then this happened…that's all it takes. Just one person, saying those things about you…spreading lies about you…"
Maka sighed. "Crona, you were the one who got hurt."
"I don't care."
"Well, I do." she retorted, squeezing him tight. "Why do you think I asked you about it, Crona? I don't want that to ever happen to you…I can't let that happen…"
She felt Crona gently move closer to her, hugging her gently.
"Maka…" he muttered. "The author compared you to her…"
Maka blinked. That was it? That was what set him off?
"I've said it before: you're nothing like her. You're a hundred times better than she could ever hope to be. To even compare the two of you is an insult of an insane degree. …and that was all it took for me to lose it. To turn into…that…"
Little by little, Maka was starting to understand just why this was so important to Crona. She hated to admit it, but Crona had actually scared her a little when he fought Dracula. Not by much, but enough.
Maka knew what she had to ask next. She didn't want to, and she already knew the answer. But, it had to be said.
"Crona…" she started, holding him close. "Would you ever intentionally hurt me?"
"Never."
The answer was out of Crona's mouth so fast that Maka wondered if he had anticipated the question. Still, she gave a small smile and a gentle squeeze.
"Then you have nothing to worry about."
She heard him give a small "huh" of confusion, and started explaining.
"I have to be honest with you, Crona…when you left…it hurt me a lot…"
She felt Crona flinch, and gently rubbed his arm out of comfort.
"I know you had reasons for doing it, and I understand them completely. It still hurt me…but the reason that it hurt me was because you were gone."
She smiled, gently stroking Crona's hair. "When I touched your soul, it started a connection between us that I don't think I'll ever recreate, even if I could…I want you to be here with me, Crona. I want you to be a part of my life, no matter what. And just thinking about you being gone again is just so painful for me…which is why I will never let that happen."
She pulled away slightly, reaching down and gently cupping Crona's chin, moving his head up. She saw his expression had finally changed to one of surprise and amazement.
She gave him a warm smile. "What I'm trying to say is, like it or not, you're stuck with me."
Crona stared at her, eyes wide with surprise. Maka realized that it was a pretty bold thing to say, but boldness was what he needed right then.
Soon enough, she saw the tears start to well up, and Crona started giving small sobs. She pulled him back towards her, letting his face fall into her shoulder and his arms wrap around her.
"I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry…" he muttered into her clothes.
Maka gently rubbed his back, shushing him quietly and letting him cry, not even really knowing why he was apologizing.
And as the two of them sat there, one comforting and one being comforted, Maka couldn't help but think about the story that they had read, and all the others like it. The ones that tried to change things for their own author's preferences.
She expected to feel anger right then. She wanted to feel anger then. But with Crona sobbing uncontrollably in her arms, she simply couldn't.
The story that they had read that day tried to destroy something she held dear. It tried to destroy someone she held dear. She knew that anger would come, and she would welcome it when it did.
But it wouldn't be then. So all she could do was wonder one thing:
Why?
/
Mood Whiplash, anyone?
So, as you can see, the story with Crona isn't over just yet. It almost is, but not yet.
As always, fanmail and recommendations are welcome, but please consider what I said at the start.
See you next time.