A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! We hope you enjoy this one.

I don't own CSI.

January 2016

Grissom holds Sara until she falls asleep. He gently lowers her fully onto the bed, then sinks back into the chair Nick vacated upon his arrival.

For a long moment, he watches her sleep.

For a long moment, all he can feel is relief that she's all right.

A midnight call from Nick is a terrifying thing. Grissom has only received one before; that night, Sara was struck and bitten by a suspect she was attempting to process. Grissom met her at the ER, where she smiled ruefully.

I guess I've learned that I'm not the strongest girl to walk the halls of PD, was all she said.

And, although concerned about her, Grissom was able to see the humor in the situation. After all, she was fine, and, really, it was nothing that hadn't happened to the rest of them at least once.

But, this time …

Yes, Sara is fine. Physically, at least.

But, their baby isn't. Their baby never will be.

As the weight of the loss of the child he would never meet settles over him, Grissom bows his head in sorrow.

January 2004

Sitting with his head bowed, Grissom barely noticed Brass leaving the interrogation room. Focusing his thoughts enough to be that observant was beyond him.

I couldn't do it.

His own words ran through his head over and over again until his very breath seemed to come in time with them.

I couldn't do it.

It was so very honest.

When their relationship had failed, Grissom had never accepted any culpability. He had been the one to end it, but he had done so, in his own thinking, because of Sara's inability to function within the confines of the barriers they had set. She had been unable to separate their work and personal lives, and he had, in a sense, punished her by taking away the personal side.

Work was their strong point. Romance was not.

"Why?"

A beat passed before he realized that he had asked the question aloud. Stunned, he looked up and found himself alone in the room.

Shaking his head, he slowly gathered his things and left the interrogation room. He needed to go back to CSI.

January 2016

A hand on his shoulder shakes Grissom from his reverie. He looks up to see Catherine standing over him.

"Cath," he rasps out.

She looks into his blood-shot eyes and feels her heart break. "Gil, I am so, so sorry."

Without a word, Grissom stands up and hugs her. Stunned, Catherine hugs him tightly, knowing that this gesture is more telling than any words could be about his mental and emotional state.

"How is she?" she whispers, nodding toward the sleeping Sara.

Grissom inclines his head toward the door, and Catherine nods. They step out into the hall together.

"She's …" Grissom shrugs helplessly.

Catherine nods. "Yeah. I know."

"How did you know?"

"Nick called me."

"Yeah, he's good for that."

She nods. "Listen, Gil, if there's anything I can do …"

"Actually …" Grissom glances at his watch. "My kids need to leave for school in an hour, but I'd hate to leave Sara alone …"

"I'll take them to school."

Grissom's eyes widen. "I was going to ask you to sit with Sara so I could go home."

She shakes her head. "She needs her husband right now, not a friend. I'll take the kids to school, then I'll come back to visit Sara."

Grissom blinks. "Okay," he says at last. "Cath … thank you."

She smiles sadly and hugs him. "Take care of her."

"Yeah. I will."

Jake can't sleep after Grissom leaves. He sits in his room, flipping through the pages of his biology book, wishing it could tell him what is happening at the hospital. To say that he is worried about Sara would be an understatement. He is, by his own estimation, terrified.

"She'll be fine," he says aloud. "She has to be. She can't …"

The words stick in his throat, and he returns to turning the pages of his textbook.

His alarm goes off, breaking the silence of his bedroom. He turns it off without thinking, then sits up straight.

"Oh, no. Anna."

He slides off his bed, and makes the short journey to her room. Her door his slightly ajar; he can see her sprawled across her bed, sound asleep. Taking a fortifying breath, he pushes the door open all the way and enters her room. He walks across quietly, then kneels down next to her bed.

"Anna," he says softly. "Anna, it's time to wake up."

She does not respond. Sighing, he grabs her arm and shakes it gently. "Anna, wake up."

She opens her eyes slowly, and blinks several times until he comes into focus. "Jake?"

He smiles weakly. "Good morning."

"Why are you here?"

"I live here."

"I know that," she says, sitting up. "Why are you waking me up? Daddy always does that."

"He's not here."

"Where is he?"

He bit his lower lip for a moment. "At the hospital," he finally says.

Anna frowns. "Is he sick?"

"No … your mom is."

Anna shakes her head. "Mommy never gets sick," she says. "Even when I got the flu and Daddy got it last year, she wasn't sick."

"Well, she is this time."

"And, she's at the hospital?"

"Yes."

Fear creeps into her eyes. "But … people only go to the hospital when they're very sick." The fear morphs into panic. "Is Mommy very sick, Jake?"

"I … don't know, Anna."

"Does Daddy know?"

"I don't know."

She begins to cry. "I don't want Mommy to be sick!"

"I know," Jake says. "I don't, either."

"Can't Daddy make her better?"

"That's why she's at the hospital, Anna. So the doctors can make her better."

"But I want her here!" Anna sobs.

"I know," Jake says again, feeling completely helpless. He has no idea how to make her feel better, and, if he's honest, he really just wants to cry along with her.

"Anna? Jake? Where are you guys?"

"Aunt Catherine!" Anna exclaims. She jumps off her bed so quickly that she nearly topples over Jake, and runs out of her room.

Jake follows behind her, watching as she and Catherine meet up in the hallway. Catherine grabs Anna to her, lifting her off her feet and into a comforting embrace.

"Hey, little girl," she croons, "don't cry. It's okay."

"Jake said that Mommy is in the hospital!" she sobs.

"Well, sweetness, that's true," Catherine says. "But, the doctors are going to make her all better, and have her home with you again in no time."

"That's what Jake said."

"Jake is right," Catherine says, giving him a smile over Anna's head.

"Where's Daddy?"

"He's still with your mom," Catherine says. "But, I came over here to help you guys get ready for school, and then to take you there."

"I don't want to go to school. I want to see Mommy."

"Mommy is sleeping right now," Catherine says. "So, you can't even talk to her. It's better if you go to school, and then, when you get home, she'll be here waiting for you. Does that sound like a good idea?"

Anna nods.

"Okay, then. Let's go get ready for school."

January 2004

Grissom was alone in his office; for once, he had closed the door upon arrival. He sat at his desk, staring at his computer screen without seeing it.

"Why couldn't I do it? Why couldn't it work? Why did we give up on our personal life?"

"Okay," she said. "What isn't working for you?"

"This," he said, waving his hand between them. "Us."

Sara's eyes grew huge. "What do you mean?"

"Sara, we agreed when we started this that we'd keep the personal stuff out of the lab."

"I know."

"We haven't … we can't."

"What do you mean?" she asked again.

"Honey, our personal relationship is obviously affecting our work relationship. And, what affects our work relationship affects the team. So …"

Sara knew what he was going to say, but she would not say it for him. She sat in silence, willing herself not to cry while she watched him search for the right words.

"We need to end our personal relationship," he finally said, his voice just above a whisper. "We can still be colleagues, of course … friends …"

"Friends," Sara repeated, just controlling her voice. She looked away, then looked back at him. "Sure, Griss. We'll be friends."

"Sara …"

She shook her head. "You know, I think we're done here. I've got a lot of work waiting for me back at the lab."

She stood and left him alone with two mugs on the table. He watched her walk out the door. His heart was breaking, but he made no move to stop her.

He had let her go. He hadn't stopped her.

"Why?"

At the time, it had seemed like the right decision. There was so much anger … resentment … the team was falling apart …

But … was it?

True, he had seen Sara seeking special treatment as his girlfriend. And, she had likely seen some deficiencies in the way he treated her, as well. He couldn't be sure, though. They had never really discussed it …

Weren't relationships supposed to include open, honest communication? Had theirs?

Grissom bowed his head. The reality was that he had given up before giving their relationship a chance. It was as though he had thrown away an experiment before truly assessing and adjusting for all the variables.

"I … have to try again," he whispered to his computer. "I can't give up on her that easily. Because … truly … it was going to be a wonderful life."

When Sara got to work the next night, she was stunned to find that Grissom had assigned the two of them together to work a homicide. The body had been found in the desert, which meant that they would have a long car ride together, in addition to working together for the night. And, to add insult to injury, Grissom actually seemed pleased about the arrangement.

Sara put her kit in the back of their SUV and walked around to the passenger side. Grissom was already behind the wheel, waiting for her.

"We've got a bit of a drive," Grissom said as she climbed into the car.

"Yeah, I looked at the assignment slip," Sara replied.

"Brass said there's a lot of insect activity on the body, so we'll have a lot of documenting to do," he said as he backed out of the parking space, not at all put off by her rude comment.

"Great," Sara said listlessly.

This is going to be one hell of a long night.

January 2016

When Sara wakes up, Grissom is the first thing she sees. He is sitting next to her bed, staring at her as though willing her his strength.

"Gil," she says, her voice raspy.

"Hi," he replies, sitting up straighter and leaning forward to grab her hand. "How are you feeling?"

She draws a deep, shaky breath. "Empty."

"Oh, Sara."

Her tears spill over.

Grissom climbs onto the bed with her, pulling her tightly against him. She buries her face in his chest and sobs.

By the time he gets to lunch, Jake feels it is safe to say that he has definitely had better days. He is exhausted from his lack of sleep, worried about Sara, and, after her tears that morning, worried about Anna. His head hurts, and he just wants to go back in time twenty-four hours and do something to make everything better.

"Hey."

He looks up to see Molly sitting down with him. He is confused; generally, he eats lunch alone. She hasn't tried to sit with him in the cafeteria since his first day at school.

"Hi," he replies.

Molly bites her lip, obviously choosing her words. "You don't mind if I sit here, do you?"

"No," Jake says.

"You look like you mind."

"I don't," he says again. "I'm just surprised, that's all. You never sit with me."

"Don't make me feel bad."

"I'm not trying to. I know you have friends to eat with."

She nods slightly.

"Why aren't you sitting with them? Did you have a fight?"

"No, nothing like that. I just … I thought you looked like you could use a friend. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

She studies him critically. "Really?"

"Really."

"I don't believe you."

Jake sighs. "Are you going to leave me alone?"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"Fine," he says, exhaling. "Last night, my foster dad woke me up to tell me that my foster mom is in the hospital. Something happened to her at work. I don't know what happened, or if she's okay. He went straight to the hospital and didn't come home this morning. One of their friends came over to bring us to school. All she would say is that the doctors are taking good care of Sara. And … I'm exhausted and my head hurts. Happy?"

Molly shakes her head mutely. She reaches across to cover his hand with hers.

Jake is startled by the contact, but instantly recognizes how much he needs it. He turns his palm up so that he can wrap his fingers around hers. Molly tightens her grip on his hand, hoping to provide some small comfort.

They sit like that until the bell rings to signal the end of lunch.

January 2004

"So, what have you been up to recently?" Grissom asked as they drove out of Las Vegas.

"Sky diving," Sara said promptly.

Grissom looked way from the road to glance at her. "What?"

"I'm kidding, Griss," Sara said with a sigh. "I've been working. You know that. You make the schedules."

"Yes, but … in your free time."

She sighed again. "Why do you care?"

He licked his lips and hesitated for a moment. "Sara, I'm sorry," he said at last.

She frowned in confusion. "For what?"

"There was a time when we were friends," he said. "And, even though I promised we could still be friends, I haven't really … been a friend to you. I'd like to change that."

Sara exhaled. Great. Fan-freakin'-tastic. "Grissom, I understand that things have been awkward between us. And, I know that a lot of that is my –"

"It's not," he interrupted. "I've avoided taking the blame for a lot when it comes to you, and I'd like to stop that now." He paused. "And, Sara … I'd like for us to be friends again."

"Okay," she finally agreed, hoping that it would get him to leave her alone.

He smiled. "Okay."

January 2016

When Jake and Anna meet up between their two school buildings at the end of the day, they are both struck by a sense of relief at seeing one another. Jake hides his feelings; Anna does not. She runs up to him and throws her arms around him.

"Will Daddy be here?" she asks.

"I hope so," Jake replies, hugging her back.

They are both disappointed; Catherine is waiting for them in the parking lot.

"Why are you here?" Anna asks, taking Catherine's offered hand.

"Because the doctors haven't released your mom yet," she says, not remotely effected by Anna's rather rude question. "They expect it to be soon, though, so your dad wanted me to get you so that he could be at the hospital to bring your mom home."

"Oh."

Both children are silent on the drive home. Catherine, knowing how worried they are, does not try to draw them out.

All three are disappointed to see that Grissom and Sara are not home when they arrive.

"What is taking so long?" Jake finally asks. "Is Sara that sick?"

"They're going to release her today," Catherine says. "She's going to be fine. But, there are a lot of patients in the hospital, and it takes the doctors a long time to get around to see them all. So, I'm sure that's what's keeping them."

She looks around the room, trying to find something other than homework to distract the children. Her eyes fall on Anna's crayons.

"Hey, I've got an idea."

Jake and Anna both look at her expectantly.

"You guys could make a welcome home sign for your mom," Catherine says. "I'll bet she'd like that."

"Yeah!" Anna exclaims, suddenly excited. "Jake is good at drawing. You can make the letters, and I'll color them."

Catherine looks at him expectantly. "Jake?"

He nods. "Okay. Let's do it."

"I don't want to do this."

Grissom frowns at his wife, who is perched on the edge of her hospital bed, her legs hanging over the side. "You've wanted to go home since you got here."

Tears fill her eyes. "I don't want to go home without our baby."

Grissom sits down beside her. "I know, Sara. I wanted our baby, too. But, honey, sometimes –"

"Gil, don't," Sara interrupts. "Don't tell me that it's God's will or that the baby is better off not knowing the pain of this world. Don't explain the biology, about how miscarriages are the body's way of 'dealing with' an unviable fetus, or some kind of quality control." Her tears spilled over. "I know all of that. I just … I'm selfish. I want my baby."

Grissom wraps his arms around her. "I know," he says again. He presses a kiss against her temple. "I know."

He waits until she draws a shaky breath and begins to wipe the tears from her cheeks before speaking again.

"Honey, we do need to go home. We've got two kids there who are likely worried to death about you … and, likely wearing Catherine out."

"Catherine's with the kids?"

"Yes."

"I guess they probably are worried, huh?"

"Yes."

She nods. "Okay. Let's go home."

"They're coming! I can see Daddy's car coming down the road!"

Anna runs from the window to the kitchen, where she and Jake left their sign.

"Here, let's stand here with it," she says, taking a position. "That way Mommy will see us as soon as she comes in the house."

Jake nods and stands with her, grabbing his side of the poster board. He is utterly terrified. What if she's not okay? What if it's just Grissom coming home? What if Catherine was wrong? What if -?

The door opens, and Sara steps through it. She is extremely pale and looks exhausted, but she's whole and walking. Relief floods through Jake.

"Mommy!" Anna exclaims, jumping up and down in excitement. "You're home!"

"I'm home," Sara says automatically, barely seeing her bouncing daughter.

Her eyes are trained on the sign the children are supporting between them.

WELCOME HOME, MOMMY! LOVE, ANNA AND JAKE

Though the writing is clearly Jake's, the coloring is Anna's, as are the hearts drawn around it. Tears fill Sara's eyes again.

She crosses the room in two strides, and pulls both children to her, crushing the sign between the three of them.

"Thank you," she whispers. "I love you both, too."

Her words pierce straight to Jake's very core. He is glad that she is hugging him so tightly. It gives him a reason to close his eyes to hide his tears.